Held
by Gomp
Summary: War is looming while a mystery is consuming Edward's time. Has he finally become a dog of the military? With a vigorous will and utter devotion, Ed will try to conquer once more. Well, that is, if he doesn’t become a nut case first. Spoilers!
1. Introduction

Don't own FMA.

PLEASE READ!

Please finish the anime series before reading this fic. Also, if you get the opportunity, read the manga (easy to find online). It will be very helpful to you for later in this fic.

You might find some of the characters slightly OOC. Please, don't be scared off. Times change and so do people.

I gave Ed some humor in this fic. I know in the series he's not strongly portrayed as being a humorous character, but I figured with age and in the circumstances he's in humor might be a refreshing way for him to express himself.

This fic starts 2 years after the series ended. Ed says that he has been stuck in 'our' world for 2 ½ years. My reason for this is its obvious some time has gone by during the series when Ed transmuted his brother back to his human form (you know, after the whole Dante scene) to the last time we see Ed in Germany. How did I come to this conclusion? Well if you look at Rose's baby in the final clips of seeing her, it's defiantly not an infant anymore.

This fic is written in Edward's point of view.

And for my blabbering conclusion… Held (the title of the fic) is actually 'hero' in German. Because in English it means 'to hold' I figured Held would make a good title. As I look at it, I am twisting the German meaning with the English one. It's to represent the physical/mental holding on the hero Ed use to be. He's desperately holding onto his past while trying to move forward in life.

* * *

Held

By The Gomp

Germany, winter of 1923.

I looked at the array on the paper and had to hold back a bark of a laugh. The professor's eyes glowed with anticipation. "It's perfect, isn't it?" I forced an assuring smile on my face.

"It's very good. Maybe be a bit more careful when drawing the hexagon." In actuality it was just terrible, but I refused to offend the man.

The professor began to rub his chin as he examined his work. "I see, I'll work on that. It's amazing how knowledgeable you are with alchemy."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I studied it when I was younger. I suppose you could say it used to be a hobby of mine."

The professor nodded as his hand crept to rub the back of his neck. "You would make a fine chemist if you ever decided to head in that direction."

I shook my head while my hands flattened the paper that had the alchemy array on it. That wasn't the first time I had received a comment like that. "I hope this helps you with your class."

The professor nodded as he picked up the paper and began to roll it. He used a paper clip to keep the paper bounded. He lifted his brief case and placed the rolled paper inside, but then proceeded to take out a leather bound book from his bag. I looked at the book with curiosity.

"Your father suggested that I should give you compensation for all the help you have been giving me, he said you're interested in mechanics. I figured since you're also good with chemicals this book might interest you. It's written by an American author. English is your first language if I'm correct."

He handed me the book. The book was called 'A thousand and One Formulas: The Laboratory Handbook for Experimenters.' by Sidney Gernsback. I flipped through the book duly. I gave the man a weak smile and nodded my head to show my gratitude. I could feel anger beginning to run through my veins, but did my best to hide it. It was better not to offend an innocent bystander.

"That's very kind of you sir. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to head back home. I'm sure my father is waiting for me." The word 'father' I had to practically force from my throat.

Professor Schlesinger placed his hat on his head and nodded his approval. With that, I grabbed my coat and left his office.

Why couldn't my old man keep his mouth shut? Heh, the word 'old' was an understatement, he was more like ancient. I could feel the anger still burning inside me. I never liked it when Hohenheim talked about me with others.

I looked at the leather book in my hands, it seemed the book was freshly bought. I knew I should have been grateful for Schlesinger's gesture, but just knowing that he gave it to me because of a suggestion provided by my father just made the gift feel ineffectual.

As I approached the entrance doors of the University I pulled my wool jacket tighter around my body, I could feel the cold winter air creeping through the cracks of the doors. I pushed one of the doors open with my left hand and took a deep breath of the numbness of the outside world. I then began my walk home.

The weather in this world was nothing like the weather of Amestris. I missed the bright sun and colors that used to constantly surround me in my own world. I smiled at the memories, but frowned when I realized I was just toying with myself again.

It had been 2 1/2 years since I last felt the bright sun of my world and entered the hell hole of this one. For 2 1/2 years I had breathed in the stale air of Germany, it just sucked.

As I reached a corner I took one last look at Ludwig Maximizing University of Munich before it fell out of my view. My father had somehow gotten himself a job at the University 2 years back with barely any credentials, but I suppose it was not too surprising considering the state Germany was in. This past year was especially bad for Germany with major inflation dominating the economy. The Weimar Republic kept promising that the economy would become better by next year, I was curious of how well they could keep their word.

I mindlessly walked through the familiar snowy streets. A few times I had to stop to rub cramps out of my right shoulder and left leg, but it didn't take long for me to finally reach my destination.

The house me and my father lived in was… well, sufficient. It wasn't much to speak of, but it supplied both our needs. It was two stories and in a middle class neighborhood. The houses outside color was short on being pleasant. The brown paint was beginning to peal causing the house to have an antique atmosphere, but I sure as hell wasn't going to be the first one to jump up and down in anticipation to repaint it.

I jiggled the door key around a few times in the lock before I heard a satisfying click. Pushing the door open, I was suddenly greeted with my fathers loving arms. Ha ha! Ok if that man ever really did that I would probably kill him. Seriously though, I did find him in the lounge sitting by the fire place engrossed in a book.

I threw the leather bound book I had received on the coffee table. I tried to fold my arms over my chest with the intention to shoot my father a dirty look, but my prosthetic arm didn't want to agree with me. I only got my metal arm to move about half way which ruined the look I was going for. Luckily for me, my father didn't look my way.

His words came out in a sigh. "Is your arm bothering you again?"

That bastard! How the hell did he know without looking? I growled at my father for being right, but brushed off his question. I had much bigger fish to fry. "Why did you tell Professor Schlesinger that he should give me compensation?"

My father flipped a page in his book and ignored my question. I kicked the coffee table with my good foot to try and emphasize that I wanted him to answer me. Finally looking up at me, my father closed his book and gave me his full attention. For some reason I had the feeling he was annoyed. Annoyed? By silly ol' me! I'm sure he was not nearly as annoyed as I was with him.

"You do this every damn time. I can take care of myself! I choose to help him, alchemy is one of my specialties."

"It's mine too."

If looks could kill, my father would have been six feet under. It almost felt like a blood vessel was going to burst in my forehead. My words came out in a partial growl. "Then why don't you help him out oh-mighty-one?"

My father stood which caused me to automatically look inferior, but of course I just pretended to be oblivious to that fact. His voice was deep and almost… soothing as he spoke. It caused small chills to run up and down my spine.

"When are you going to realize that I'm just trying to help? This isn't even about the book or me talking to the Professor, is it? You're just trying to push me farther away."

My eye gave a slight twitch. I hated moments like these, they were supposed to be warm and squishy with the intention to make me think. I just wish my father would realize I had an ego to maintain.

"Stop acting like you know me, old man!"

"I have been living with you for quite awhile now, I think I'm beginning to learn at least a few things about you. Now let me see your arm, the weather is bothering your joints again. It's obvious."

Every. Damn. Time. Every single freaking time I tried to argue with the geezer he always found a way to change the subject. Call me stingy, call me annoying, call me the king of irritation, I just had a fetish for argumentation. But before I could make a good comeback, and I mean a good one, one of my back muscles began to spasm causing me to groan.

My father pulled off my jacket and unbuttoned my vest. I stared at him with pure annoyance. In return he only gave me a look of concern- he really knew how to ruin my moments.

My father yanked at one of the buttons on my white dress shirt to get my attention. "Will you help me here? It's not easy to undress you."

My eyes narrowed daringly, but I did what I was told. See, I was a good boy.

He pulled off my white dress shirt and looked at his makeshift auto-mail. He ran his fingers over the area that connected my arm to the tin-man part of me, I gave a slight gasp as he hit a sore spot. His hand automatically began to rub the aggravated muscle. Sometimes when he did that it made me want to melt into his touch, which was actually rather disturbing if you want the truth.

"How is your leg doing?"

A glared at him hoping he didn't think he was scoring brownie points. "It's fine." My voice came out more threatening then I meant it to.

He lifted his hands in a surrendering motion and took a step back. "Just making sure."

I sighed while my fingers ran across the cold metal of my right arm. "This is starting to get annoying. I miss my old auto-mail." If Winry could hear those words it would be like a magnificent symphony to her ears, too bad she wouldn't be hearing those words anytime soon.

"This world lacks nerve research, I did the best I could with the little knowledge I have and the lack of proper tools. Stop complaining."

I sat down on the couch. I knew he had done his best to recreate a leg and an arm for me and I was grateful for his effort, but compared to my old arm and leg, the limbs just didn't cut it. I could move my arm at the elbow joint but none of the fingers had mobility, my leg bent at the knee but I didn't have mobility in my toes either.

I picked up the book my father was originally reading and began skimming through the chemistry formulas. I was then suddenly, and very rudely, interrupted by getting my shirt thrown in my face. My glare would have made fly's drop, but somehow my father was immune.

My father picked up my new book and began to flip through the pages. "Doesn't seem like anything interesting, I would have expected Professor Schlesinger to be a little bit more generous." A nice plop sound was made when my father dropped the book onto the table.

I shrugged my shoulders. "He's in your department, you can complain to him next time you see him."

My father took a seat next to me. He grabbed his book out of my hands and searched for the page he was last on. Since the room suddenly fell silent I figured the conversation was over so stood to leave, but I was stopped by my father grabbing me by the wrist before I could make my get away. His face was still shoved into his book as he spoke.

"Dinners in the kitchen." Upon that statement I could feel my stomach do a hula dance. Oh yes food, I loved food. I quickly pulled on my dress shirt and made a beeline towards the kitchen.

* * *

I sank comfortably into my bed. If there really was a heaven I always thought the best thing heaven could be was a bed. After a long hard day of work the bed became your comfort zone, well at least for me it did. Sometimes when I found myself overly stressed all I would have to do was imagine that I was sinking into the blissfulness of my bed and I began to feel better, nice, eh? 

At that very moment I was skimming through one of my many mechanical books hoping I could learn something new, but since I'd already read that book twice it was becoming obvious that I wasn't going to learn a thing. I sighed while placing the book on my bed stand and removing my reading glasses. That was right folks, I was slowly going blind- ohhh the horrors. I blamed it on a random sorcerer who had some type of grunge against me; my doctor still tries to convince me it's from my poorly lit reading sessions. I wonder who was right.

I took a look around the room. My room was small with a hard wood floor. Somehow I was mysteriously able to fit three bookshelves, a bed, and a desk in the cramped space. The shelves were jammed packed with books while my desk was covered with notes. In some strange way it had become a homely feeling for me to have my room that way.

It was actually still odd to this day to say that this was 'my room' considering that for years I had not had a place to call home, and then there was the fact that I never even had 'my' own room- it had always been Alphonse and I.

I closed my eyes as memories flooded in. I still wondered if Alphonse had made it home that faithful day long ago. My father has assured me that he did, but it can be hard for me to believe that at times. I mean after all, I was still alive.

On that faithful day, after I had sacrificed myself for Al, I had awoken to find myself in the world I was presently lived in. I had awoken in the same spot where the 'Edward' from this world had died. To this day I still felt horrible about that incident; I had killed that boy by lack of responsibility.

It didn't take me long to realize I was missing the limbs my brother had returned to me. What made it even worse was I hadn't had my auto-mail returned to me either when I first returned. So if you can put two and two together; I was missing two limbs and stuck on the outskirts of London when I came back to this world. But it was my lucky day that day! A milk delivery carriage was making a delivery a town over and the nice man stopped to help me out, he was even nice enough to help me find my father who luckily was still in London at the time. Who ever would have thought that I, Edward Elric, would be thanking whatever God's there were that milk delivery carriages existed...right.

Shortly after that, my father and I moved to Munich because he received his teaching position. My father also had to recreate my limbs for me since, at that time, I wasn't in the exact best mental state to do it myself.

That was so long ago, even though it all seemed so recent.

…I blinked a few times to try and recollect my wondering thoughts and bring myself back to the present. Heh, where did the time go?

I swallowed back a manic laugh while reaching towards a familiar drawer; I lifted out the liquor bottle and took a sip of the contents.

Ok, I just probably gave the wrong impression. I haven't gone totally crazy and I was not an alcoholic, unless you think that because I drink sometimes with my father's colleagues and take a sip of hard liquor before bed time (which helps me sleep better) would entitle me as an alcoholic. And, my lack of mental state at that time was not caused by a mentality shut down, but was caused by a serious case of 'pneumonia'. My immune system had never been introduced to an illness like that so it got pretty serious. Considering their lack of medicine in this world and the stress I had been under, it was a tough battle, but I made it out ok.

Since then I had been desperately doing research on mechanics. At first it had been rough to find intellectual people who would actually talk with me about mechanics, but once my fathers name started to become well known it became much easier. I was still interested in learning more about rocket ships, but Oberth and almost everyone else interested in the subject had shut me out, talk about frustrating. As I see it though, they are often criticized for their work so their actions are understandable.

So, instead of laying around and wasting my life I began to work on my own set of theories for a way to go home, but there was one thing that was putting a huge damper on my whole situation…

When I flew through the gate I had seen this world inside and out along with all of its little secrets. I had learned many truths and horrors that this world possessed. If I was totally willing to admit the truth to myself, then I would know that the rocket ship theory was not going to take me home. According to what I saw in the gate there was almost no way that I could ever get home.

I just couldn't admit that to myself, I would not believe it. I had seen many impossible things in my life time, there was a way for me to go home.

There had to be.

* * *

I rubbed my nose in a poor manner. Winter was almost over, but somehow I had mysteriously caught the sniffles. 

"Oh Mr. Elric, I didn't know your father was expecting you." I looked at the bubbly secretary and shot her a charming smile. Just keep smiling and make the conversation short, that's how you do it.

"Yea, the old man forgot one of his books. I'm here to bring it to him."

The young woman nibbled on her pencils eraser while she contemplated what I said. For a second I thought there was a possibility that I had translated something wrong in German. Some might call me a genius but I sure as hell was no linguist. The woman noticed my concern and smiled reassuringly at me. "He's not here at the moment."

My mouth fell open and one of my eyes twitched. "Then why the hell did he call me here! He knows how much of a pain in the ass it is for me to walk all the way out here for his little necessities, that bastard. Ohh he will pay, dearly he will pay."

It took me a second to realize that I just said everything out loud. The woman's face would have made a good postcard to look at on a rainy day; the shock on her face was just priceless. I blinked a few times before I allowed the same charming smile I had used before to reemerge on my face. "I'm sorry; can I wait in his office?"

The woman recovered quickly and smiled back at me. "It's ok; your father has mentioned your outbursts. I believe your father left his office unlocked He should be back shortly, you can head right in. Would you like something to drink while you wait?"

He did it again; he talked about me AGAIN! I shook my head as I walked past her.

My father's office was nothing to brag about. It was rather small and dull, but I suppose it was hard for anything to beat his office at home. The office at home was the biggest room in the house. Originally it was the library, but my father claimed it as his own- some days it made me jealous.

I sat down in the wooden chair he used for his students. I threw his book on his desk and relaxed a little. I could have just dropped off the book and left, but I wasn't ready to face the chill of the outside world. Nope, this was much more comfortable.

The door opened as my father trotted his way in the room. He looked at me once and then at the book on his desk. "I hope this wasn't any trouble for you."

I stretched out my arms and legs and looked at him lazily. "Where did you go?"

My father took a seat behind his oak desk and began to check some papers. "I had a phone call; I decided to take it outside."

I raised a eyebrow at that. "What's the paranoia for?"

My father glanced at me, but then shrugged and went back to his papers. This could only mean one thing; he was talking to one of the Thule society members. I was never a big fan of that part of my father's life, but at the same time I knew very little about it. He met with the members twice a week and sometimes they would call at the house, that was about all I knew. The thing that I didn't like about it was how secretive they always were.

"Edward, do you have any plans for tonight?"

My father was looking at me with concern, I suppose I had gone into a daze for a second and missed something he had previously said. "I'm probably just going to do some reading."

"Ancel has someone he would like you to meet; he wanted to see if you were interested in having dinner with them tonight." Ancel was one of my father's students, I frequently saw him around my father's office since my father had gained a liking towards him.

I contemplated what my father said; I knew all to well where the conversation was going.

"Is this another female?"

My father smirked as his pencil doodled notes on a students paper.

The demons anger burned inside me. "Whose idea was it this time?"

"It was his; I learned my lesson last time."

I stood up and walked to his desk, my good hand gripped the oak furniture. "When are you two going to realize that I'm not going to get involved with anyone? I have no interest in dating."

"Who said anything about dating? It's called socializing Edward, you're the one who is jumping to conclusions."

"I…I…" The man was right, it was a hard thing for me to admit, but he was right. "Why does he want me to meet her?"

"There are no strings attached, he just wants to get you out of the house. You do spend awfully large amounts of time stuffed in your bedroom. It's either your room or you're at work."

That's right, today was one of my days off and instead of me relaxing at home this rotting geezer forced me to drop off his book- oh the pains I go through.

My words were in English which meant I was serious. "I socialize enough to satisfy my own needs. You know why I spend most my time studying, so don't act like you know what's good for me."

My father sighed as he placed down his pencil and looked at me. His words were in English as well. "I know you want to go home, but that doesn't mean you can't take a break and relax every now and then. What if you never make it home? You will regret the years you wasted."

The conversation wasn't a new one; it was actually quite common between my father and I. It always made my stomach twist in angles I didn't like. "Please tell Ancel that regretfully I can't join him tonight, maybe we can do it some other time."

My fathers gaze saddened for a moment before he turned back to writing on papers. He decided to change the subject. "I won't be around tonight."

I eyed him carefully. "Do you have a meeting?"

He nodded; this meant he wouldn't be back for dinner so I didn't need to worry about cooking for two- yippee.

I looked at the clock which hung behind his desk, it was almost noon. "I suppose I should go home."

"Are you ok walking back alone?"

I nodded as I buttoned my coat. "I should be ok; the weather is getting a lot better. My joints don't feel too bad."

"Take care."

The conversation ended at that.

* * *

I slide the book into its proper shelf. I looked at the next book on the cart and made my way towards the fiction end of the library. Skimming through the books on the shelf, it didn't take me long to find the proper place where the next book belonged. 

Yes the library... it was my home away from home, the great thing about it was I got paid to be there now. Now, the pay wasn't nearly as generous compared to the days of the military, but it was enough to mildly help pay for living expenses.

A tug on my shirt caused me to look behind me. A girl no older than ten smiled up at me, I looked down and smiled back. Oh the joys of being taller. Oh! I haven't shared the fantastic news: I have grown, and I am very tall now! Ok, maybe an average height for my age. Well, maybe a little below average. Er, maybe I shouldn't use the word 'average', more like mediu- just drop it.

"Yes young lady, do you have a question?"

The young girl shook her head at me while tapping her foot nervously on the ground. I raised an eyebrow, but tried to wait patiently for her to answer. You always had strange kids like that; ones who were shy to ask questions so would take forever to speak. After a few more seconds of waiting, I grew very impatient.

"Is there a problem?"

She tugged on my shirt again and motioned for me to bend down. I knelt on one knee and looked her directly in the eye; she gave me an innocent smile and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"I think you have pretty hair."

That caused me to blush. "Er, thanks, that's very kind of you. I think your hair is pretty too."

She giggled at me which caused a true smile to spread across my face. Someone then tapped me from behind causing me to look behind me- ahh, too many people. This time it was a boy who seemed around the same age as the little girl.

"May I help you young man?" The boy smiled at me. His eyes seemed very bold and pure and he spoke with confidence. "I have a question for you."

I turned my body so I was fully facing him. "And what would that be?"

"Is it true that you're made of metal?"

My face faltered at that. "I suppose so, why?"

"Can I see it? Please!"

I sat for a moment and just stared at him. I wasn't really sure how to respond so I just lifted my right hand. The boy's eyes seemed like they were going to pop out of his head with amazement. "Whoa, they weren't lying, you are a freak." He took off in a quick run.

I looked at his retreating back in shock, it wasn't the first time that something like that had happened and I doubted it would be the last. When I was younger I had always feared that people would respond to me like that, as if I was a freak. When I first lost my limbs I was so scared I would be considered a freak that it caused me to go into a mild depression, but I suppose with how common auto-mail was, no one ever had any problems with it. During those days I was still capable of functioning properly, but here it was different.

But that was when I was a kid... these days I didn't care if I was considered a freak.

I felt anger inside me rise. "That punk, I'm going to beat the shit out of him!" I stood to run after him, but a small voice caught my attention. My movements haltered as I remembered the young girl that was still behind me, I could feel some shame nagging at me.

"Don't hurt him, please."

I turned towards her and gave a soothing smile. "I won't hurt him…" Well, not yet at least. "Do you know him?"

The girl nodded while looking at the ground. "He goes to my school, he's just a jerk."

Ha, ha, you little punk! If a sweet little girl called him a jerk than that meant he was the king of pathetic-ness. I made a mental note to mark him down on my ass kicking list.

The little girl grabbed onto my shirt and motioned for me to come closer again, I leaned down and she began to giggle, she was so freaking cute it made my real toes curl.

"You have very pretty eyes."

I giggled back. Yes, I was a man and giggled, if Roy Mustang ever heard me do that he would never let me live it down. That bastard, I really wondered how he was doing…

I shook my head to get my mind clear.

"Thank you; do you know how sweet you are?" The girl shook her head causing her curly brown hair to sway. I smiled at her. "You're just adorable, but I think you better get back with whoever you're herewith."

The girl nodded and skipped away. These were times that I actually contemplated on having children. Heh, little Edward Elric's. Oh God, the horror.

"Edward!" I looked to the side to find another worker walking towards me. Her name was Nixie and she was a year older than me. For some strange reason I always thought she had a good sense of fashion, she was always so creative in the things she wore. And the way she did her hair was nice too…

...sometimes I really wonder about myself.

Nixie smiled as she approached me. "Your shift is over."

I looked at her in surprise; I didn't even realize how much time had passed. "I didn't finish the cart."

She frowned for a second then shrugged. "I can finish it; the boss wants you out though. You know he can't afford to pay you over time."

I nodded. "Sorry I have to make you do the dirty work." I looked at her warily. "A couple of kids distracted me."

She laughed which made me raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"I saw the whole thing, it was rather amusing."

I eyed her. "I'm happy you think so, you could have helped me out."

She wagged her finger in front of me. "What would be the fun in that? I didn't want to hurt your pride."

I blew some of my bangs out of my face as I shrugged. "Yea sure, whatever. I suppose I better go before the boss literally kicks me out. Have a good day."

The women nodded as she grabbed the cart and looked through the books. I made my way to the back room and grabbed my hat and jacket.

It was spring time and I planned to enjoy the weather, I was going to take the long way home.

* * *

I flipped through one of my books while sitting at my desk. Do you know how frustrating it was to try to figure out machines? Oh, what a pisser-offer. 

I slammed my book closed with the feeling of hopelessness. I sighed as I began to doodle on a blank piece of paper; it took me a few seconds before I realized I was drawing an alchemy array. I remember how nice it used to be to just clap my hands and have the law of conservation take place. It felt almost like a life time ago that I was back in my own world.

Must.stop.thinking.of.home.

My head slammed hard against the desk… which actually rather hurt. I groaned.

A small knock took me out of my self dwelling; the door didn't open so I called out to the occupant on the other side. "What do you want?"

My father opened the door just enough for his head to poke through. "Is everything ok?"

I stuck my tongue out at him and turned my head to the other side so I wasn't looking at him. My father sighed and entered the room. "When are you going to grow up?"

I only allowed another annoyed groan to escape my lips.

"You're not a kid anymore."

"You act like I don't know this. And I am grown, see, I'm bigger." I gestured towards my body.

My father sat down on the bed causing me to have to look at him. He folded his arms over his chest and sat silently. After a few moments of silence between us I started to become mentally disturbed by his presence.

"What do you want?"

My father only took a deep breath and allowed it to escape slowly.

I didn't exactly know what to think of this, you would think for a 400 year old man he would have more say. "Do you just think I'm pretty to look at? I'm gorgeous aren't I?" I lifted my head up and flipped my hair around as if in a sexual manner.

"Shut up, I'm trying to think."

"So you chose my room out of all places to sit and think?"

"I'm thinking about you."

I stopped for a second, my head went blank. All I could say was an "Oh" and began to look at an invisible spot on the wall beside myself.

"How have you been cooping with things?" His question surprised me.

My father's eyes looked intently at me, there were only a few times that I'd seen him use that certain stare. The stare held a mixture of purpose, curiosity, intent, and a tad of wisdom; it meant that he wasn't leaving without some answers.

"It's getting close to being three years, I'm fine. Now leave me alone."

My father shook his head stubbornly. "You're not fine; it's hard for me to compare the boy I first met in Rizenpool to the boy in front of me now."

"Then don't compare. Trust me, people change."

My father's eyes narrowed. "You don't think I know that. I've been alive many more years than you have."

I almost laughed at the statement. It was just too funny. "That's the understatement of the century; you're an old man beyond comprehension."

I think I took my father by surprise with my teasing tone; a small smile crept on his lips.

"Yes, I'm an old man. But Edward please be serious with me, are you ok?"

I took a deep breath in and considered holding it till I passed out, but I decided against it and allowed the air to escape slowly. I went deep into thought which caused me to take awhile before I answered. "It's… just not easy."

My father nodded. "You choose a dangerous path in life."

"I never choose to be here, sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if I died. I never imagined that one day I would be in another world and out of all people in the world, I would be stuck here with you."

Now ladies and gentlemen, please don't think my father and I were always as open like this, this was actually a very rare conversation. But there are times in ones life that you have to talk; I think everyone needs a good conservation now and then.

Not saying my father was my top pick of people to have it with, but I did live with the man.

My father brushed aside some of his hair and ran his hand over his pony tail while he went into thought. I looked at him curiously; I had always thought that it would be interesting to read my fathers mind. Not for sentimental value, but for the pure fact that he was literally the oldest man I had ever met, oldest man that was alive I would hope. Just imagine what type of knowledge he might contain.

"I see."

Ok, maybe he didn't contain that much.

"Don't worry about me, you're going to make your head hurt."

My father gazed at me hauntingly; it sent chills down my spine. "You're my son; I'm going to worry about you."

The line I hated, more like despised. I had been living with my father for some time, but that didn't make up for all the years that were lost. I could never forgive him for leaving us, to me he was just my father through blood, he would never be my father at heart.

Nope, don't like him, never did, never will.

I drummed my fingers against my desk in annoyance. "I am telling you not to worry about me." Yup, I'm about to ruin our moment.

"Edward, please."

"Hohenheim, don't 'please' me." Oh no, he's looking at me with those pleading eyes. I HATED the pleading eyes.

"Are you ever going to call me by my proper name?"

I tapped my chin and gave a confusing face. "Well let's see, I always thought Hohenheim was your name. Would Professor satisfy you more? Or I can go back to calling you 'The bastard'."

The look on my fathers face crushed me. I never knew why I did things like that, maybe just to push him away. I wanted to reach out for him and say I was sorry, but I didn't have the courage to. He was right, I really hadn't grown up.

I looked away from him not wanting to see his face, I could only think of one thing to say. "Can you please just leave me alone?"

My father stood, which was shortly followed by footsteps, and the bedroom door opening. His voice called out to me in a whisper. "Dinners on the table."

I mumbled, "I'm not hungry." and then heard the door click shut.

He really wasn't the bastard, I was.

* * *

**Authors note:**

Please, don't stop the story right here. This chapter is simply snippets to give you a brief view of Ed and his father's relationship. There is much more to come in the future of this story. Oh-yea, a hell of a lot more.


	2. Priceless Gift

Don't own FMA!

**Warning!** You might experience some minor gross scenes, but hold on tight! You just might enjoy the ride.

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* * *

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Held

By The Gomp

The day was starting out like a great summer day. Now, I was never a big fan of hot weather, but in Germany the sun was never too harsh. Earlier I had received word from Oberth that he was finally willing to meet with me; I think almost two years of harassing had finally gotten to him. Oh what a great day it was.

Oberth was going to be spending a few days in London and had suggested that we met up there. We were planning to meet in three weeks; my own world was suddenly feeling more in my reach.

I walked to the front door of my house. I reached for the keys in my pocket and was prepared to unlock the door, but upon closer observation I realized the door was already unlocked.

"I didn't think he was going to be home so early."

I walked into the house and listened for any noise, there was none. I took another approach to seeing where my father was hiding. "Hey gooney! Where you at?"

Again I listened, but I didn't hear anything, suspicion began to take over. I opened one of the drawers in the hallway and pulled out a small revolver. I looked at it for a second then decided to put it back, guns just weren't my style.

I than realized I had no other defense mechanism unless I planned to swing my right arm around like a mad man. I gave up and shoved the gun in my pocket, I felt pathetic to have to turn to such a product.

I walked as quietly as I could to the lounge area, nope, no one there. A sound caught my attention, it was very soft, but I knew I heard it and I knew where exactly it came from. I walked to the hallway that led to my father's office and was greeted with another sound.

This time it was louder, bingo.

I pulled out the gun from my pocket and crept my way to my father's office door, I opened the door as quietly as possible, but the hinges decided to squeak in retaliation. Mother Fuc-

"Geezer?"

My fathers face was scrunched up and his expression gave the impression that the end of the world was coming. He was sitting at his desk with papers held tightly in his hand; he looked at me with shock on his face. "Your home?"

I looked at him strangely since that was supposed to be my question. I made my way into the office, shutting the door behind me. "Is something wrong? You don't look to good."

My father rubbed his free hand over his forehead and then used it to hide is face.

"What's wrong?"

I grabbed the papers out of my fathers other hand and looked at them, I read over them once, twice, then a third time. "I uhh, don't get it."

The papers were just chemical formulas. I raised an eyebrow at him. He just kept his face in his hands, his voice came out husky. "The papers are just for class… I think I'm going out tonight."

"Oh, well that's fine. But, do you mind explaining to me what's going on?"

My father looked up at me for a second then hid behind his hands again; it reminded me of the game peek-a-boo. On another note, I never really realized how big my father's hands were before. I looked at my left hand for a second, I was feeling small again.

His voice surprised me. "They found out."

I was confused, yup, ultimately lost in what he was saying. There were too many 'they' and to many 'found out'.

"Would you mind elaborating?"

"The Thule Society, someone told them that I can do alchemy."

That was rather odd since really he couldn't do Alchemy, well, in this world at least.

"Who the hell said that?"

His big shoulders shrugged. "That's just it, I don't know. The Thule Society is unhappy that I have been hiding this type of 'magical powers' from them. Whoever told them has them convinced that I can do it. Edward, this isn't good."

I thought for a second. "Just tell them whoever said it is a lair. We can't perform alchemy here so it doesn't matter. It's not like they are going to kill you over this." My father's expression was to confusing to decrypt.

"That's not the point, someone knows."

He was right, someone knew. But who? "Well let's think logically for a second. You are a Chemistry Professor so automatically you have some knowledge on the subject. Second, we have both talked to other people about alchemy; it's possible because your so knowledge on the subject someone might have presumed that you can actually do it. I don't know about you, but some people in this world seem kind of nutty to me."

My father shook his head. "Whoever this is, they know too much. They brought up my decomposing body. Convincing the Society with accusations like these would be a hard thing to do, that means either they have sufficient amount of proof or an officer position. But, my main concern isn't that the Thule Society knows, I am more worried about the fact that someone out there knows."

"Maybe someone saw you getting changed and freaked out, your body isn't the most pleasant sight. Seriously, I think your worrying yourself to much." I patted my father on the head. "Maybe you should consider getting out of this club of yours."

My father shook his head. For some reason he reminded me of a lost puppy, how disturbing.

"It's not that type of 'club'; I can't just stand up and leave."

That worried me. Slowly, as time passed, I was learning more and more about this 'society' of his. "I see, why did you even join it in the first place?"

He didn't answer as he stood up.

"Where the hell areyou going?"

"I'm making dinner."

I could only stare at him perplexed.

* * *

It was a week later after that confrontation. Life seemed to be moving relatively normal, but there was one little thing that stood out of place. It was a Thursday night and my father was still home. 

I sat in the chair across the room and watched him consume himself in a book. He had gone to the Thule Society's meeting on Tuesday but he was missing that nights. Since he had joined that association I had never once witnessed him miss a meeting without a sufficient reason. Reading a book just didn't seem to be sufficient enough.

I tried to return my attention to my book, but I found it too hard to concentrate with him being there. I slammed my book shut hoping to get his attention, nope, no response. I cleared my throat before I spoke.

"Why are you here?"

"This is my house so I can be here if I want. Besides, isn't it nice to spend quality time together?"

I was tempted to throw my book at him. "I wouldn't exactly call this 'quality time'."

My father closed his book and looked at me. "No? Would you like to talk? Or we could play a round of chess if you would like…"

I took off my reading glasses and placed them on the table beside me. "Stop messing around old man. Be serious, why are you here?"

My father placed his own book down. He looked at me thoughtfully then just shrugged. "The meeting was canceled."

Now if you ever wanted to see pure utter shock on my face, this was the time. The Thule Society did not have the reputation to cancel meetings, it was simply astounding. I might not know much about them, but I knew they were very punctual. "Did they say why?"

He shook his head. I leaned back in my chair as I looked my father up and down. "You didn't do anything stupid last time, right?"

"Do you think of me as that irresponsible? Hold your father in higher regards. No, I simply explained the situation and they seemed to believe what I said." I was tempted to ask how he explained himself, but decided not to.

"Who told them?"

"They refused to say, but they assured me that they were going to take care of the situation."

These were the times I really wished I knew more about the Thule Society. My father had warned me many times to not get involved with them so I just never bothered, but now I wish I had.

"Why did you join?" When I asked that last time he walked out on me, I was curious how he would respond this time.

My father looked at me for a moment then he ran his fingers through his hair and down his ponytail, I found it as a rather feminine motion.

"I thought I told you I didn't want to discuss the Thule Society with you."

I shook my head. "That's not what I was asking. Why did you join?"

My father leaned in his seat while considering my question. His lips pursed together. "If I tell you, will you drop the subject after that?"

I nodded while I sat forward with anticipation. "Well?"

"I joined it for you."

The man was doing well tonight in surprising me. "Me! What the hell do I have to do with anything?"

My father shushed me; he shushed me like a child. "I want answers!" He shushed me again and shook his head. The stubborn old goat. "Just tell me why!"

"You're not dropping the subject Edward."

I groaned at him as I laid back in my chair. He could be so frustrating.

Ok, before I continue with my little story I just want to say one thing… There are days when life just blows. Heck, the word 'blow' doesn't even do justice. While keeping that in mind, continue!

There was a moment of silence that spread across the room, but it was shockingly broken by a faintly familiar voice. A familiar voice that didn't belong to my father nor I. It answered the question that my father was refusing to reply to.

"The Thule Society believes in magic, Hohenhiem figured it was the closest thing he could find to alchemy. He probably wanted to send you home Fullmetal shrimp."

My body suddenly felt totally hallow, if someone was to have tapped me I wouldn't have doubted that I would have broken.

The voice was the voice that haunted me in my dreams late at night, the type of dreams

I hated having. Oh god, this couldn't be real. This was a joke, a simple joke that we would laugh at. There was no way he was there. I never even heard the door open, never heard someone come in.

The person behind me laughed which just confirmed their existence.

I watched my father stand to look at the intruder. I didn't want to turn around, that would be admitting that specific person was really there. The intruder spoke again.

"So it is you, Hohenheim. Finally I've found you. I didn't expect to find the Fullmetal, but that just means my stay is going to be more exhilarating."

My father looked at me, I couldn't read his expression. My mind wasn't responding to well.

"Fullmetal, aren't you going to greet your brother? Oh Hohenheim, take responsibility for your children, make Edward greet me."

It was then I heard even more voices in the room, they were whispering stuff too quiet to decrypt. I couldn't help it, I turned. I faced the truth, and trust me, I didn't like the truth.

Standing before my father and I was the man who once killed me. The man my father once helped produced. The homunculus my father had created. Envy. It wasn't 'Envy' the Sin I had gotten to know so well, but Envy in the form of my fathers son, the son that would be my half brother. Behind Envy stood two other men who were holding guns.

One of the men spoke out. "Professor Hohenheim, this is your son if I'm correct?" Envy turned around and looked at the man curiously.

"You guys are still here? I almost forgot about you. Well I must thank you for helping me find my father."

Envy shot a smirk towards my father. "See Hohenheim, when I found out that you were part of the Thule Society I just had to confirm it was really you. Their reaction to how similar we looked gave it away. The Thule Society seemed quite upset that you never told them about your past, keeping secrets from people is not a good thing! I'm here to collect you for _their _punishment, but see, what they don't know is I'm planning to give you _my_ punishment right here."

Envy turned his wicked smile back to the two random men. "I believe there is no need for you guys anymore." I knew what was about to happen, but I was in too much shock to even move.

In one swift motion Envy broke one of the men's necks, it gave a sickening snap. The other man stared at his dead comrade in shock. He then looked at Envy. "Don't…don't come near me!"

He shot his gun; he shot Envy point blank in the middle of his forehead. Envy only laughed as he grabbed the man's gun and threw it under the table that was next to me. He proceeded to break that man's neck too.

Envy turned to my father and me with a smile. He licked blood away from his lips as it streamed freely down his face. My mouth tried to form words, but I couldn't convince my vocal cords to function.

The bullet wound on Envy's forehead wasn't disappearing, the sight was just disgusting.

My father spoke in a factual tone. "Your body can't regenerate." He said it more as a statement than a question.

Envy smirked. "Your right, I won't regenerate, but that doesn't mean I'm going to die."

My father's deep voice rang out in the room. "That is why you're in that form too, isn't it? In this world you don't have the power to transform and regenerate, but you're still not human so you won't die."

Envy opened his arms and shrugged. "You figured out my little secret, oh Hohenhiem, what should I do with you now?"

Envy began to advance.

It's amazing how I had fought Envy plenty of times when he could still regenerate, yet this time I was scared shitless.

For some reason I was getting the feeling that this situation was slightly my fault. I saw Envy pass through the gate; but for some reason I never even dreamed he had actually made it through. I found no need to ever tell my father about it, partially because I didn't want to talk to my father about him having another son. If I would had been smart I would had made sure Envy hadn't made it through. Yet, there he was now, standing in front of us ready to finally take his revenge. It sucks when you don't play it smart.

That day so far had been a really shocking day. Really, it had.

I pushed myself out of the chair as Envy began to advance towards my father, my voice sounded shaky to my own ears. "Don- don't go near him."

Envy stopped and looked at me; he placed his hands on his hips as he analyzed me up and down. I was tempted to shut my eyes, it felt like I was standing naked and he was able to see every ugly scare that graced my body.

"My, my, Fullmetal, you have grown, I never thought I would see the day. So does the now taller scarier Ed plan to take me on? Usually by now you would be on top of me."

A growl grew in the depths of my throat. I took one step in his direction, but was stopped by my fathers booming voice.

"Edward stop!"

I looked at my father with surprise. He kept his eyes steadily on Envy. "Why are you here?"

Envy laughed at my father. "Pops', is it a problem for me to visit? Can't you take seeing the face of the child you abandoned?"

I felt like I was an intruder who was listening in on a personal conversation. This seemed between a father and son, I felt like the third wheel.

Dante had told me what happened between my father and Envy. I couldn't say if my father was right or wrong in what he did. I mean, in a sense I did the same thing too. I abandoned the thing I had created which was once my mother. But, then again, I was 11 years old and didn't even know something like that could have survived. Argh, who knew!

My father looked at Envy without even a blink, for a second I thought this was going to turn into a staring contest, but Envy finally looked away in irritation. "Can't answer your own son? You truly are a pathetic creature, no wonder why mom never held you in high regards."

This conversation was sounding too weird to my ears. Dante, Dad, Envy? That just sounded like one messed up family.

My father swallowed loud enough for everyone to hear. "Will you please just leave?"

This man had to be kidding me! Envy leave? I could just imagine it now: Envy apologizing for the rude intrusion, bidding us a good day and a farewell. It just wasn't going to happen.

Envy swayed his hips and took a few steps closer to me and my father. "Hohenheim, I can't do that. Now how would I like to kill you two? Hmm, let's see, I have been after father for many years now so maybe I should just kill him first. But, it would be rather pleasurable…" Envy eyed me. "…to see…" He advanced in my direction. "…you watch…" Envy pulled out a large ass knife from what seemed like no where. "…Edward DIE!"

It felt like slow motion, I was reminded of the time I first confronted Scar. I wanted to move but my feet were refusing to respond. It had been three years now since I'd been in my last battle, fighting seemed almost foreign to me now. The knife was heading straight for me. As it inched closer I could think of only one thing to do.

I lifted my right arm in the air so it would take the blow, the knife cut halfway through my cheap prosthetic arm; the force caused me to fall backwards.

From the corner of my eye I could see my father running towards me. Envy pulled out the knife from my arm and began to turn towards him. I begged my voice to work; I swallowed hard and just allowed my voice to run free.

"STOP!"

My voice was met with silence.

I was just too late… I was too late and too slow. Envy smirked as the knife embedded itself into my fathers abdominal. My instincts final began to kick in.

With one swift kick with my good leg, Envy fell onto his back. I jumped on top of him and began punching him. He only laughed manically at me.

"Edward, you sure take pleasure in beating up your older brother!"

I kept smacking him over and over with my left hand. "Shut up, JUST SHUT UP! You are not my fucking brother!"

Envy smirked. "Denial, your just upset cause Pops' is about to die."

I stopped my beating and turned to look at my father. He was against the wall while holding the butt of the knife, the knife was still inside him and blood was beginning to soak through his clothing. He seemed like he was still alive. I had to finish Envy quick or there would be nothing I could do to save him.

Envy grabbed my attention by roughly grabbing my right arm.

"You're weak without this fake arm of yours." In one quick motion he tore my metal arm in half; right where the knife had cut through. I looked at the metal stump that was left; I could only smirk at Envy's stupid choice. With one quick motion I cut his throat open with the sharp tip of metal he had created.

Envy's eyes widened as he grabbed his throat.

I pushed my self off him and looked down, Envy tried to speak but no words would form.

He wasn't dead yet, it was going to take much more to kill him, it would take more time than I had at the moment. So I broke both of Envy's legs, it assured me that he wouldn't be able to do something stupid without me noticing.

Envy just stared at me with pure irritation.

Oh god did he look so disgusting! I swallowed some puke that threatened to come up. Just think about it, he had a hole in his head, a cut throat, and two legs placed in odd angels. It was just horrifying; he defiantly made it up to the top three scary ass things I'd seen in my life time.

I stumbled my way towards my father. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry-" Those three words kept running out of my mouth. I didn't know how serious my father's condition was. I forced him to move his hands away from the knife which was still jammed into his stomach; I looked at the stab wound carefully. I sighed in relief upon closer examination, Envy had missed vital organs. But, the blood loss was going to kill him if I didn't get him to a doctor quick.

Now, you might ask why I magically knew so much about human anatomy. Well, you gotta know that type of stuff if you ever plan to do a human transmutation.

I smiled reassuringly at my father. "I got to get you to the hospital."

My father stubbornly shook his head. "No one can see my decomposing body, you can't take me."

You would think being in a situation like the one we were in the man wouldn't think of dumb stuff like that. "I'll make up a disease, I refuse to los-"

The sound of the gun seemed distant in my own ears. I looked down at my right side to see blood beginning to pour out, the bullet had gone straight through. It's funny, it didn't really hurt.

I turned to look behind me. Envy was sitting up with a smoking revolver, the same gun he had thrown earlier, the same gun that had been thrown under the table that I had been right beside. What a miscalculation.

I fell to my knees while grabbing my side, shock was starting to take over my body. I had never been shot before. I took a moment to look at the wound. It seemed Envy was going on a bad streak, he missed vital organs again.

It took me a second to register my surroundings. Once the wheels in my brain began to work again I came to the realization that something bad was about to happen.

I saw my father running towards Envy with a knife in hand, blood was pouring freely from him which told me he had jerked the knife out of his stomach… I didn't even hear him get up let alone do that.

I began to stand, but fell from my wobbly knees. Oh god, I knew what was going to happen. I began to crawl towards them in a sad attempt to do something…anything.

The gun rung off three more times, my heart missed a beat every time. Flashes of ancient memories danced through my mind, memories of the time before my father left and my mother died, memories of when Alphonse and I were just little children with our innocence still intact, memories I thought I had buried deep inside me.

My mind suddenly blinked. When I opened my eyes I found my father lying motionless on top of Envy, I waited for one of them to move, but neither did.

My heart felt constricted, all I could think was this couldn't be happening… It's not possible for the world to hate me that much.

God, you can't hate me that badly, can you?

I crawled my way towards my father. My voice seemed like a whisper. "Dad…" Nothing. "Dad." Still nothing.

My stomach twisted in angles that were long forgotten, it twisted the same way when I lost my mother. I felt something slightly familiar run down my cheek; I licked at the salty substance. I didn't want to cry, I couldn't be crying.

I made my way to the two motionless men; I looked at them from the side and waited for one to look back. It was then that I realized Envy's head was completely severed from his body, what made it worse was his mouth was still moving while his eyes blinked. Oh my fucking god, he was still alive!

I finally puked.

After dumping out what was in my stomach, I turned back to the horror scene. I wasn't sure what to do. I did the only thing I could think of, I grabbed my fathers shoulder and pulled him off Envy's body. There was no way I could leave anyone on something like that, it was just wrong in so many ways.

I sat motionless for a second with my father's heavy weight laying halfway on me. Looking at his face I couldn't tell if he was dead or alive, I was too scared to check. More tears began to escape.

…if my father was dead, then that meant I truly was alone.

My voice was strained and slightly beyond a whisper. "I don't want to be alone; you can't leave me alone here." It was the truth; I was scared to death of being alone. I didn't want to imagine a life with no one in this dark cold world.

"…You won't be alone..."

My father's eyes were still shut as he spoke, he was still alive! A laugh of joy began to build up inside me, but it quickly disappeared when I looked down at my father's body.

His cloths were the color of a divine red, there was just too much blood. I wasn't ignorant enough not to know that he was going to die. "No."

My father's eyes slide open slightly, they were glazed over. It just confirmed that there was no hope. This was going to be the last few moments I was going to have with my father. I began to cry more strongly, I was surprising myself by how hard I was crying. This wasn't the Edward Elric I knew so well; I was feeling foreign in my own body. The child part of me was finally surfacing after years of suppression.

I didn't care, this was my father. And I was about to lose him for good this time.

"You can't leave me here alone, I won't let you."

My father's lips formed a faint smile.

"Dad, please don't die on me. Daddy, just don't go. I…I finally got you back after all of these years."

Where these words were coming from I had no utter clue. But they felt so honest, so relieving…. I was scaring myself.

My father pushed himself up into a sitting position. I grabbed him by the shoulder to stop him, but he pushed my hand away. "Edward, this is the first time you have called me dad."

I wiped some of the tears away. My nose also was running, but I ignored it. "Lay down, your going to make it worse."

My father shook his head. He looked over at Envy and took a deep breath. "Edward, I see the gate before me."

I didn't have to ask what he was talking about, I already knew. My body began to shake against my own accord, I felt like I was in a place even worse than hell.

My father hovered over Envy; I couldn't make out what he was doing until he pushed himself away. There were arrays drawn in blood on both of Envy's cheeks. Envy kept looking around not sure what was going on. I could feel puke warning me of its presence, but I ignored it.

I looked at the two arrays carefully, they seemed slightly familiar to me, but I couldn't put my finger on how. "What are you doing?"

My father looked at me and smiled, the moment he did so he began to cough violently. Blood began to drip from his lips. Once the coughing subsided, he spoke in a whisper.

"Giving you a gift."

He used his own blood to draw the same array on his forehead, it hit me then. This was the same array I had used on myself when I sacrificed myself for Al.

"Dad you can't! Are you crazy? Alchemy doesn't exist in this world, what do you think you're doing?"

My father shook his head. He wiped blood off the floor and drew a different type of array on my hand and then on my forehead, I had never seen an array like the one he drew on me before. "What is this?"

My dad grabbed me into a hug. At first my hand laid at my side, but for the first time since my mother died, I gave a hug back. His voice was so quiet and pain stricken that more tears found their way to my eyes.

"Edward, I have loved all of my children very much, you especially has made me very proud. I have to do this for you, please just let me. I need you to open the gate inside yourself. Since I am mentally and spiritually at the gate it will be enough for me to use alchemy, I will be able to convert myself and Envy into the power source that will be needed to take you out of here. I can send you home... please, let me do this."

My heart fell apart. "Dad, if you become energy your soul will disappear, you will become nothing."

My father pushed away from the hug so he could look at me. His face was the sickening color of a dead person; I had to force myself not to look away. "In this world when you die you become energy anyway. I want to do this for you, please allow me to do this."

It hurt, it hurt like hell. All my life people had sacrificed themselves for my own needs; this was just going to be another one. I couldn't argue with him. I never wanted to make it home in a way like this, it felt so wrong… but, I was going to do it. I was going to do it because he wanted me to; he wanted to do it for me.

My father was about to give me a priceless gift, this was going to be the last time I would ever be able to give him something in return. I wanted to give him something that was hardest to say, but it was purely the truth. Oh god was it the truth!

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself and looked him squarely in the face. "I know I wasn't the best son…" A sob forced its way out of my throat, my stomach was twisting tighter. It hurt so fucking much, but I had to finish what I wanted to say. "…I want you to know that I forgive you for everything…I always had. I know you left us not for your sake, but for our own. Dad, I love you. I loved you even after you left, but I've just been too stubborn to admit it to myself. I'm so sorry, I'm just so sorry."

I clung to him wanting to never let go, I began to cry on his shoulder like a baby. After a minute or so passed my father made me pull away. He wiped a few of my tears away with his thumb and forced me to look at him directly in the face.

The image of my father smiling was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes and allowed the gate to take me home.

* * *

Author's note:

I love Honhenheim, he's my hero. Now the fic will be called 'Honhenheim the Hero.'

Ok, maybe not.

* * *

Questions you might have…

1. Why it is that Edwards father can send Ed through the gate?

I actually wasted a whole ten minutes of my life to figure out a logical way to send Ed home. (Trust me; the story isn't done yet folks.) In the series Dante was able to use Roses baby as a way to open the gate because a baby lacked a developed conscious. So when people die and are loosing their state of conscious, wouldn't that mean they would be able to open the gate?

I took that into strong consideration and I also took thought about Christianity too (The gates of heaven are actually _the gate, _In FMA terms, well, this is what I got. My theory is that when people die in this world they must see the gate and then are converted into 'energy'. So, mentally and spiritually Ed's father would be seeing the gate when he was dieing (he wouldn't have his body since well, it died on him.) Next chapter I will talk a little bit more on this subject.

Now we all know that humans from this world are converted into energy! Sooo what did Ed's father do? He used Alchemy (my theory is he used Envy for the energy source to do alchemy) to pull all of Ed (body, mind, soul) out and used himself as a catapult so he could send Ed through the gate.

Still confused? Err sorry, I tried.

2**. Also, you might be wondering why is Ed so emotional? He never liked his father!**

Ok kid, let's tune into reality for a second. I'm not even close to my father but if he died I would still feel some emotions. You might notice some contradicting between chapter 1 and chapter 2. The whole point is Ed convinced himself that he hated his father. But when it came down to it he actually never hated him at all. Sure there is some anger but _hate_ is a very strong word.

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**Pending-Destruction-** Ahh, that makes me so excited that I'm your first one! Actually, while I was re-editing this chapter I kept thinking 'I hope I leave a good impression even after what I did to Ed's father'. Thanks for the review. 

**CharmedReality-** I am really trying my best to give Ed the dynamics of a real person. I am giving him a more 21st century personality cause well; I think the anime series leaves that impression too. Thanks for the review.


	3. Death of Fullmetal

Wahoo Fma! To bad I don't own it.

**Read:** Here's when we start mixing the manga with anime. To lazy to read the manga? Well, read my profile, I have a link that talks about the neighboring countries of Amestris world and Ling.

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Held

By The Gomp

When I came-to I found myself lying on a cold hard marble floor. My head felt like it was going to split in half.

I looked around the area I laid in to take in my surroundings. The room was dark and the air tasted stale. It took me a second to realize I was in the mansion that I'd last fought Dante and the Homunculus in; I was sitting in the center of the alchemy array I had used years ago.

My body felt bruised all over as I sat up. A pulsing pain from my side screamed for my attention, I was still bleeding from my shot wound.

I sat for a second trying to sort everything out in my head, too much happened in a short amount of time. I stared blankly at the marble floor; there was a nice coat of dust that I was sitting on.

"Dad…"

I slammed my fist hard into the ground, causing some of the dust to fly around me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell, hell crying like a baby again would be good. But all I could do was just stare blankly. My face felt sticky from previous tears.

"This wasn't supposed to happen this way." My voice rang out in the empty room. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this!" I slammed my fist repeatedly into the ground; something inside me felt like it was snapping in half, it hurt so much. I finally screamed, it was so loud and pain filled that I couldn't believe it was my own.

I couldn't protect someone again… instead, he protected me.

I forced myself to stand, I could contemplate everything later. A few drops of blood fell from between my fingers, if I didn't get help soon then my fathers sacrifice was going to be in vain.

I forced my eyes to keep focus as I pushed my way through the murky halls; my feet caused loud echo's to resonate throughout the building. After a few minutes of searching, I found the entrance doors; I forced one of the ponderous doors open and walked out into the underground city. My eyes were beginning to lose focus from the blood loss, I had to hurry.

Even though it had been three years since I last walked through that hell hole, I still remembered my way out. I jogged my way through the empty roads and made my way through the dark passage that led to the hoary church that was aboveground. By the time I made it to the church's front doors I could feel my body getting ready to give out, but I wouldn't let it.

I yanked the front doors open to the freedom that was beyond, the sun shined brightly in my eyes.

I walked out of the church and found myself in an alley street, the distant noise of Amestris society sent shivers throughout my body. I was home; I truly was in my own world.

I looked between two buildings to see the street that was ahead, the street looked to be a market of some sort, people were socializing and shopping throughout it.

My movements were slow and forced, but I had to get to the market. I was only inches away when my knees decided to finally give out.

"Help."

My voice sounded like a whisper, it was raspy and even hard for me to understand, I swallowed some saliva to try and clear my throat. I knew I had only one more chance to get help before my body was going to give away; I had to make it good.

I took a deep breath and screamed at the top of my lungs.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!"

The world suddenly went black.

* * *

The next few weeks were a total blur. Now and then I would hear random voices, but I couldn't tell if they were from a dream or if they were real. Sometimes I would hear the sound of a steady beeping and other times I thought I heard a women's voice telling me comforting words. 

There was this one time that I was pretty sure that I was really beginning to wake up. I heard many voices talking at once, some of them were screaming while others were mumbling incoherently, then someone started yelling for people to move out of their way. Shortly after that my world went back to a peaceful ignorance.

During my unconscious moments memories toyed with my mind. Some nice, some I would rather forget. I think I had a few dreams here and there that had nothing to do with the reality of life, but I couldn't really remember.

Then on one not so particular morning my body seemed to be filled with energy, it was encouraging me to wake up. It was as if my body had been dead for so long and now it was ready to be filled with life again.

I blinked a few times as a light that was too bright for its own good entered its way into my vision. My vision was still pretty blurry so I rubbed my hand over my eyes to encourage their focus.

My fingers had that sleep feeling to them, you know, the one that felt like a thousand needles were pricking at you all at once. I groaned in annoyance and shook my hand to wake it up.

I took a deep breath while trying to figure out where I was. This wasn't my room, I was sure of that. I looked from side to side to see if I could find anything of familiarity, there was nothing. The room was simply white and bore-some. The sound of a steady beep grabbed my attention. I looked to the far right of myself to find a strange contraption; it seemed to be reading my heart. That caused my eyes opened in shock.

"Where the hell am I?"

I sat up in the bed and felt up and down my body, the outfit I was wearing defiantly wasn't the last thing I remembered having on. I groaned in pain as my hand grabbed my right side.

It was then that realization dawned on me. My father, Envy, the gate…

Images of the gate flooded my mind. The gate…this time going through the gate had been different; I had learned many new things. I suppose sacrificing both Envy and my father was a bigger fee than I had ever given before. A smile stretched across my face; this time around the gate had told me something very precious.

It seems that to the people of the other world, the gate was a place they called 'heaven'. In that world I had heard people mention a flash of light before death then they would be sent to the 'gates of heaven', but, what was really happening, was they were actually going to _the gate_ (or the gate of truth as I liked to call it). My father had once told me that the people of the other world were converted into energy when they died, then that energy was used for alchemy by the people of my own world. But see, the energy that's created isn't the people's souls or the people themselves; instead, the energy that's created is from their lives. Their memories and life story's are converted into energy that we then use for alchemy. Wait, I still have more! In compensation for these people to lose their memories, their souls are then reborn into my own world, like a form of reincarnation. If you put everything together, it's the law of conservation taking place.

…yet, my father still had given up himself without knowing that fact.

I brought my hand to my face, it hurt to breathe just thinking about what happened. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be overjoyed that my father would gain life again or sulk from losing him, I was going for the later.

This time I had lost him for real.

A helpless moan came from between my lips. I was so tired of being in these types of situations, they hurt and simply weren't fun to be in.

The door to the room I was in suddenly opened, it caused me to look up in surprise. The woman standing in the doorway gasped when she realized that I was alert. "You finally woke up!"

I looked at her in confusion, well, wasn't she just stating the obvious.

"Hold still sir, I have to get the doctor." Like I had anywhere to go?

The woman rushed out of the room before I could ask her the millions of questions that I had, I stared at the doorway for a second before I leaned back in my bed. I then looked at the empty space of where I once had an arm, my prosthetic was obviously gone, even the outer rim that connected the nerves was missing. Instead, my shoulder was fully bandaged up.

Slight disappointment nagged at me, there was no reason for me to have had my arm and leg returned, but one could hope… right?

It didn't take long for a doctor to enter the room; he was carrying a clip board. He smiled when I looked at him.

"Mr. Elric, you gave us quite a scare, I'm glad that you're finally awake."

I stared at the man not sure what to say. How did he know my name? The doctor's smile only grew when he saw my confusion. "A military officer is here to see you; he's been waiting almost an hour for you to awake."

I swallowed hard, the military had already found out. Did that mean everyone else already knew? If they did, wouldn't that mean they were waiting also? "What about friends or…relatives? Where are they?"

The man lifted an eyebrow. "We were told not to contact any family members. When you were first brought here we had no way to identify you, we called the police to do a background check and amazingly one of the officers recognized you. You're the legendary Fullmetal, are you not? We contacted the military right away; it seems you have been missing in action for quite some time now." Yea and I wanted it to stay that way.

I didn't want to be mad at the man but my voice came out harsh anyways. "How long have I been in the hospital?"

The man just ignored my tone and flipped through his chart. "For almost a week, we drugged you so you wouldn't wake up, your body seemed in desperate need of rest and it needed proper time to heal. At one point you gained a fever, but we were able to contain and vanquish it pretty quickly. You're a lucky young man, if we hadn't gotten you here as quickly as we did, it's highly possible you would have died, you lost a lot of blood."

My left hand grabbed my right side again; I could still feel the dull pain of my gunshot wound. "Send in whoever it is to see me."

The doctor eyed me for a moment; he walked closer to my bed. "Do you mind telling me what happened?"

Before I could say a word a familiar voice grabbed both out attentions. "That information is classified Doctor, please leave." The doctor looked at me once almost as if he had more to say, but without a second glance he followed his orders. The soft sound of the door closing behind him penetrated the silence that fell across the room.

As one could expect, I never thought that the first familiar face I would see would be the same crappy Colonel I had to dealt with for most of my teenage years. My mouth fell open from shock when I got a good look at him, he had an eye patch over his left eye and needed a cane to stand up right, oh boy, oh boy, was this a real treat.

"Well Edward Elric, you're not dead after all."

I didn't really have any words to say, hell, what could you say to that? Instead, I just bid him to come nearer. Mustang limped his way to my bedside, his face remaining neutral. I looked at his uniform like the kid I was and lifted a shaking finger to touch it; the fabric was rough under my finger tips, a smile spread across my lips. I then did something I didn't even plan to do.

I laughed like a freaking psycho would after making his first kill, I laughed so hard that my stomach began to hurt. Mustang's right eye stared at me in shock.

"Are you alright? Do you still have drugs in your system…?"

I could only laugh harder. I didn't know why I was laughing. There was no humor in the situation, maybe I laughed just because it felt so damn good to be alive. Laughing just allowed the pain to go away and reality to sink in, I really was home. Roy…he was so familiar, so alive, it was just unbelievable.

"Edward, please calm down, if you don't, I'll be forced to get a doctor."

I took a few deep breaths to try and get the fit of laughter out of my system, after a few minutes of struggling I seemed finally able to control myself. I looked at Colonel Roy Mustang with a smile on my face. "Doesn't seem like you've changed much, still stern as ever, I presume."

Mustang looked at me with a smirk. "Things have changed. Welcome back, I was told you were dead."

I looked at Mustang curiously, I suppose like a new born child would after seeing his parents for the first time. Roy and I had always had an odd relationship, he was the jerk and I was the brat. What was so weird was that I was sure that the last time we had spoken was going to be the last I would ever see him again, but here we were, both men, seeing each other once more. The world truly was a strange place.

"I thought I was dead too."

Mustang looked at me with a purpose. I ignored that look and stared at the eye patch, it seemed so foreign on his face. He noticed my stare and subconsciously placed his fingers on the black cloth. "I lost it during the night I fought the Fuhrer, Colonel Archer got a few good shots at me." He tapped the side of his leg with his cane to add some emphasis.

Something else caught me totally off guard, I had to blink several times to make sure I was seeing right, there was no way. I pointed at the object that seemed almost offensive being there. " Wha- What's that? Don't tell me your marr-"

"Married?"

I nodded a few times. The military's womanizer… Who the hell would marry him!

Mustang's smile only broadened, his actions seemed to carry a hint of humor. "I'm married and my wife is expecting."

Ok, that did it; I laid back in my bed and began to laugh again. Roy, a daddy? It was simply priceless.

Between my fits of laughter, I was able spurt out the question that nagged at me. "Who would marry you?"

Mustang chuckled at that, at least he wasn't taking offense towards my rude behavior. "Who else? Riza Hawkeye."

My laughter suddenly haltered. "You and First Lieutenant are married and you're having a baby?"

Mustang could only nod as his response.

"Maybe the gate made a mistake, maybe it took me back to the wrong world! This cant be right!"

I, of course, said this all out of humor, but Mustangs face faltered. "You went through a gate?"

I looked at Roy for a moment with stupidity written all over my face, shit.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly seemed to darken. "I don't want to talk about it, especially when it's involving someone from the military." My voice was threatening, but I only spoke the truth.

"There will be no military involvement; this is just between you and me. The higher ups don't even know that you've surfaced, once I got word that they identified you; I put in false rumors so you wouldn't be found. I'm only here as your friend, the only reason I was presented to you as a military official is because it was the only way I could see you and get control of the hospital fee's and such."

I didn't believe him; I never trusted the military and I never fully trusted Roy. And friends, when did Roy and I form a bond of friendship? Last time I checked, Roy was just a Colonel who was trying to control a rebellious teen. "Then why haven't you allowed anyone else to see me or be informed of my presences?"

I wanted to ask why no one had informed my brother, oh God did I want to ask. But I couldn't, I was too scared. If Roy was to tell me that my brother wasn't around anymore than I would have no meaning left in life.

"They all still think your dead."

Well Roy, that just made life all better, how about I give you a nice applause for your lack of brain activity?

"And…."

"I had to make sure it was really you, I needed to speak with you and confirm that you were the real Edward Elric before I informed anyone else. There has been a lot of suffering for your sake, not just with your family, but with others too. I refused to lead anyone on just incase you were an imposer. Now tell me, what happened?"

And, of course, Roy had to ask the one question I didn't want to answer.

I pulled at the blankets that surrounded my body and threw them to the side. I figured so, my make shift prosthetic leg was also missing. I looked at my bandaged stump and groaned, nope, couldn't run away this time.

"Get me the damn doctor; I want to bitch about my prosthetics."

Roy shook his head as he watched me look around the room for something that I could support myself with. His words were spoken evenly, as if everything obviously made sense. "I told the doctor to remove them. That was a cheap imitation of auto-mail you had, you deserve much better."

I gave a frustrated growl, Roy was pissing me off! "Don't tell me what I should have for an arm and leg! Now, get the doctor, I want my prosthetics back and I want to get the hell out of here."

I didn't want to see Roy's face, he wanted answers and I didn't want to talk until I came to terms with everything myself. Besides, Roy wasn't the top pick of people to sap my heart out to. I knew if I stayed there he would force me to speak, the hell with him.

All I wanted was to go home, I wanted to show everyone I was alive. The idea of them thinking I was dead left a foul taste in my mouth. I grabbed the I.V. that was in my arm and yanked it out. I started pulling off the suction cups that connected me to the weird contraption that was beeping behind me. Roy grabbed my shoulders to try and settle me.

"What the hell are these things? Get these things off me!"

Roy tried to stop my hand movements, but my left hand was quick. "Ed, leave them on, they are just part of the heart monitor. Haven't you seen one before? It's been around for two years..."

I looked at the man as if he was crazy. The hospitals in this world were more technologically advanced than the ones in the other; I supposed it shouldn't had been too surprising that they would have invented something like that.

Roy looked at me curiously, he was beginning to catch onto something and I didn't like it.

"Get out."

"Edward, will you calm down? You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

The image of my father danced around my head. I swung my leg over the side of the bed and pushed myself off the mattress hoping that magically I could keep balance. Falling flat on my face proved me wrong, the marble floor was cold to the touch.

"I want out of here!"

Mustang knelt beside me with concern consuming him.

I knew I wasn't thinking right, hell, I really wasn't thinking at all. I was tired and just wanted to go home. I didn't want to answer anything; I wanted nothing to do with the Military. I could only imagine how big of an idiot I looked sprawled on the floor the way I was.

"Edward, please calm down."

A nurse suddenly knocked on the door. "Sir, I was told to check up…oh my. Is he alright? I'll be right back; I'm going to fetch the doctor."

Roy lifted his hand in a gesture to stop the women from leaving. "No, please, he just needs some time alone."

I looked at the nurse with pure frustration. "Get the doctor and tell him to give me my damn leg back."

She looked between me and Roy indecisive. Roy shook his head and motioned her to leave. For some reason she followed, willing to leave me alone with Roy. Damn her, damn her to hell!

Roy grabbed me by the shoulders and flipped me around so I was facing him. I refused to make eye contact.

"You remind me of a little child. I will inform your family of your safety if that will make you feel better."

For some reason it didn't. I slammed my fist into the ground not sure of what to say, my mind was running a mile a minute. "I want to see them…" My voice got groggily. "I want to see them for my-myself."

I covered my face with my left hand so Roy couldn't see the tears threatening to spill. This was just getting annoying, I could never cry when I was a teen, but now that I was an adult I was easily able to cry like a baby.

Roy lifted my body up gently. "You're not at a healthy weight Edward."

I still refused to face him. Roy laid me carefully on the bed and pulled the blankets tightly around me. I turned to the side so I wouldn't have to look at him.

His voice was soft. "I will retrieve your leg, but I refuse to allow you to have it connected again. It's possible for that type of alloy to cause an infection from bacteria. When they found you, your arm was totally scrapped. Would you still like me to retrieve that too?" I nodded my head; I was going to need them.

"Now, do you really want to see your family for yourself or would you rather I inform them of your return?" His kind tone was disturbing me; I took a chance and looked at him. He looked at me as if nothing had happened; he was looking at me still as a man.

I contemplated what he had asked me. "Can you tell them something is up, don't tell them exactly what, but tell them someone is coming so they need to be all together. I want to surprise them…" I gave a weak smile.

When I spoke of family Roy knew I meant the Rockbell's and…. Al, I was still too scared to ask about Al.

Roy smiled at me. It was a genuine smile that I had never seen him use before; he seemed so much older now.

"It would be my pleasure. I will find a good prosthetic leg which you can function with, and I will also get a train ride ready for you. Is there anything else you think you need?"

I thought for a moment to only have my stomach beat me to the punch, it growled for attention. I gave him a guilty smile.

"I'll make sure you get some food too."

* * *

I got stuck in the hospital for three more days. They refused to allow me to leave until they were positive that I was physically stable. 

I didn't get any more surprise visitors, but Roy checked on me once a day. His visits were short, he was even kind enough to drop off a few books to try and give me something to do. I thought the gesture was kind, but I couldn't read the books without getting a headache because of my eyes, what a let down.

It didn't take me long to discovered that I was at a leading hospital. When they originally found my body they had to transport me to the closest hospital that had proper supplies for surgery. You wanna guess what hospital that was? No guess? Come-on! Well all right, I'll tell you. It was Central's! Yup, good ol' Central… grrr.

This meant I was in the center of military heaven. I didn't want to face another military personnel for a long time, Mustang was enough to handle.

I spent most my time just thinking about what happened with my father. Slowly I was coming to terms with stuff, but that didn't mean I was ready to talk about it, I had a feeling it was going to take awhile for that one.

On the last day of my hospital stay Roy produced a substitute leg prosthetic and a ride to his house.

I looked to my left and watched Roy drive. He defiantly looked older these days. "Why am I going to your house again?"

Roy changed the shifts of the car then gave me a quick glance. "Your train doesn't leave till morning, how many times do I have to tell you this?"

I tapped my pointer finger against my chin. "Yet, you haven't explained to me _why_ I am going to _your_ house…"

"Because I'm not paying for you to have a hotel room." I sighed as I sat back in the car seat. I suppose it would be cool to see Riza, I was curious of what she looked like now. She had always been a fairly attractive adult, I wondered if Roy had driven her sanity away and caused her to age far too quickly.

"What happened to the money I made from the military?" It was a dumb question; I just had to confirm it.

"Your family inherited it. They are also being compensated because you died 'in action'." I loved how I was dead.

A small spark flickered behind my eyes. The only way the government would give compensation was if they had a blood relative to give it to, but for some reason I wouldn't be surprised if Mustang had pulled some strings so Winry and Granny could have been taken care of. I slide in my seat from my depressing thoughts.

"You really haven't been home at all, have you?"

I looked at Roy. I wanted to go 'well duh', but it wasn't his fault for not knowing, he had no clue what had gone on in the past three years, no one did.

I ignored his question. I just slide further down the seat.

"I know what happened."

That caused me to sit straight from surprise. My eyes went wide, but I tried to ignore what he was saying, he knew nothing.

"A heart-rate monitor was introduced two years ago; it was on the news everywhere. The reason for the publicity was because it had a battery backup system, first to be introduced in the world. If you were on earth you would have heard about it, it was a huge step for medical technology."

I blew some of my long bangs out of my face. "Maybe I just never saw one before."

Roy shook his head. "You're not like that, your to observant. You also never returned from the final battle with Dante, no one has seen you since. Many speculations have been made about what happened."

My mouth fell open. "How do you know about Dante?"

Roy pulled the car off to the side of the road. He looked at me intently, but I looked at my hand instead of facing him. What a man I was, fierce in battle, but pussy in an adult conversation.

"You crossed some type of 'gate' and now your back; it's the only possible explanation. This 'gate' must lead to another world because you defiantly weren't hiding around in this one, that's for sure."

My mouth went into a firm line. He already knew most of my story, yet, earlier he tried to get answers from me. I sighed and looked at him. "Your right, now do you want to take me back to the military as a lab rat? Bet you could get a nice penny with my good looks."

Roy smirked. "The military has changed greatly since you left. When you see my wife please don't refer to her as First Lieutenant, she is now Colonel. And I am General."

I began to choke. "H-Holy crap! Even in your condition?" Yup, the comment was rude as hell, but I couldn't help it.

Roy lifted an eyebrow as he started the car again. "The military isn't the same. It has no more power, we handed it over to Parliament. My position is nothing more than a title and hours of paper work."

I rubbed my chin, eww, stubble hair. For some reason I didn't see Parliament in charge as being a bad thing, yet, something didn't seem to fit right. "So you're telling me you still got a high position even though you tried to kill King Bradley?"

"I _did_ kill King Bradley. I used to play chess with a superior of mine, when the government switched to the Parliament he was elected as one of the chairmen."

"So he covered for you? I suppose it does pay to make friends in high places." Roy only shrugged in response.

Silence began to stretch in the car, it wasn't really uncomfortable, but sitting alone with Roy never was something I favored on doing. Roy was the one who broke the silence first.

"Why haven't you asked me about your brother?"

Butterflies began to dance in my stomach; he was bringing up the most sensitive subject to talk about. I looked out the window pretending I didn't hear him.

"Do you want to know about him?"

My palm began to sweat, I wiped it against the hospital pants that the hospital had provided me with. I looked at Roy, my voice came out shaky. "What is there to say about him?"

Roy only smirked. A bit of hope welled up inside me; did that mean what I thought it did?

"What do you want to know?"

I felt like I was in a damn guessing game, I hated it when people danced around a subject. Roy knew exactly what I wanted and was forcing me to say it out loud. Stupid crappy Colo-General, argh.

"Are you saying he's…"

"Yes, he's alive."

I will never be able to put into words of how relieved I felt. I wanted to scream, shout, cry, do a dance on the roof of Mustangs car. There were a million good feelings which were welling up inside me; it was as if I finally felt whole.

Roy seemed confused; I don't think he was able to decrypt the expression on my face. I hadn't noticed, but he had stopped the car and was looking at me oddly. I gave him a smile and he smiled back as if finally understanding.

"Well, that seems to have put you in a better mood."

I could only nod absently. I had so many things I wanted to say to my brother, I had a million stories' to tell and now I had a life time to tell them. Thank you to whatever god or holy divine there was out there, my brother made it out alive! He was alive and I was alive along with him.

"He's not in a suit of armor anymore, right?" Mustang nodded.

Life was good, life was too good. My brother was alive and better yet, he wasn't the suit of armor anymore. It bloody worked, that day when I transmuted him, it actually worked.

"I think I should tell you something else about your brother though-"

I cut Roy off by a quick gesture with my hand.

"Is it anything life threatening?"

Mustang shook his head.

"Then save it, I'll find it out on my own. Thank you so much for everything."

Roy smiled at me as he shrugged his shoulders.

A knock on the window made me jump. I looked out my window to be greeted with Riza waving at us. She motioned for me to roll down the window, so I did.

"Do you boys plan to come in or just sit out here all day? Dinner is waiting for the both of you."

I looked at the house that was in front of the car. I hadn't realized it, but when Roy had pulled over he actually had parked in his drive way. I looked back at Riza and smiled. "I heard the good news, congratulations."

Riza placed her hands on her rather large abdominal. Her hair was undone and was lying on her shoulders; she was wearing a maternity dress that was pink with blue and green flowers. I had never seen her out of uniform before, she looked very different now.

She smiled at me and opened the door. "Well, if you would have come home earlier we would have invited you to the wedding."

I gave a nervous laugh as I got out of the car. "Yea, sorry it took me so long."

Riza looked me up and down while biting a nail "Ed, you have gotten taller."

I wasn't sure if I should have been happy or annoyed by her comment. Why did it have to be the first thing she noticed! "Yup, so I'm not a small bean anymore."

Roy got out of the car and walked next to his wife. Seeing the two together actually seemed right somehow.

Roy's smirk was devilish. "I wouldn't go that far."

In an immature manner I stuck my tongue out at him. I turned my attention back to Riza. "When are you expecting?"

She rubbed her tummy a few times. "I have a month and a few days left. Do you want to touch?" She gestured towards her stomach.

Memories of the last time I touched a pregnant women hit me. "Ehh no, that's ok…"

"Shy Edward? You still scared of females? Oh lil' Edward is still scared of a women's body, what a pansy." The devils fire flared to life.

"Who are you calling LITTLE! And I'm not a pansy!"

Roy only laughed at my outburst. "Still a kid at heart."

I placed my hand on my hip. "Better to be a little kid than an old man beginning to gray."

Mustang ran his fingers through his hair, he tried to look up but his hair was too short to see. Riza shook her head at his stupidity.

"Well come inside boys. Dinner's getting cold."

* * *

I was afraid; I forgot how terrifying life could be with Armstrong around. Armstrong only stared at me in pure adoration. He was wearing a dress shirt with blue jeans, his mustache was now gone, shaved away. But his legendary curl was as curly as ever. 

I eyed Roy and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "And how many people know of my return?"

Roy whispered back. "You know how annoying he can be. Besides, he was the one that informed me about you. It's not like I could deny something he already knew."

Armstrong had a glow to him that just frightened me. "Oh Edward, you have gotten so handsome." I moved farther away.

Riza came into the room with drinks, she handed each of us our own. "Edward, we're just happy to have you back."

I smiled at everyone, hoping they would leave it at that. It was my lucky day, they did.

Roy took a sip of his drink and turned serious. "I think we should discuss some political matters." Oh boy! Political matters, my favorite.

"Is it appropriate to discuss that type of information with me? I thought I made it clear that I quit being the military's dog years ago."

Roy's expressive face told me that he wanted my attention, I could only look at him with confusion.

"I know you quit, but we are getting in desperate need for some good officers." You would think the man would know better.

I looked around the room. Everyone's expression fell slightly, I had no clue what was going on.

"For the past two years a neighboring country has been slowly advancing in on our borders. When King Bradley was... assassinated we lost many of our allies. Our military has become nothing but a joke, I can guarantee you if this neighboring country decides to attack we will fall without much effort."

I sat for a moment not sure what to think, this conversation was becoming unsettling. "Cant you guys just make peaceful agreements with these guys? This country is rather wealthy when compared to others, just pay them off."

Roy looked at me as if I was joking, but I wasn't, I was dead serious. "It's not that simple and you should know that. Our country is filled with natural resources; if any other country was to get a hold of our resources they would become very powerful. Also, back when King Bradley was still in charge we didn't leave a good impression with them."

"How do you know this country is even serious? To start a war would be dangerous on their part; it would be expensive and demand organization. Last time I checked, all of our surrounding countries were very unstable." Ha, ha, last time I checked was three years ago, but I wasn't going to say that out loud.

Roy stood up and walked to a desk that was hidden in the corner of the room; he opened a drawer and pulled out a map. He brought the map back to his seat and pointed to the country that was east of ours. He didn't say anything, just pointed. I looked back and forth between Mustang and the map, I didn't get it.

"Yea?"

"Do you know what country this is?"

I scratched my head. What was this, geography class? "Xing, its run by an old geezer that has a bunch of kids, each kid represents a separate clan, all the clans make up the country. I use to read about the country for alchemy purposes, they have pretty powerful alchemy techniques, but they only use alchemy for medical reasons. A lot of important alchemy texts came from there."

Roy sighed as he sat back in his chair. "Almost two and a half years ago the king of Xing died, a large war took place between all the clans for the thrown. A young man named Ling representing the Yoa clan somehow stopped all the fighting and convinced everyone to follow him. Alchemy since then has been used beyond medical purposes; we've had two attacks from this country in the last six months which both times alchemy was used. They are making it obvious that they want to begin a war with us. They are now organized and using alchemy as a weapon. What's worse is they now have political relations with Aerugo and Creta."

I shrugged. "We have some pretty powerful alchemists in this country, fight fire with fire."

Roy laughed at me, it seemed like a rather odd moment to laugh, but I suppose if it floated his boat he might as well do it.

"We don't use alchemy anymore."

My mouth fell open and my eyes went wide. Our country held its powerful position mainly because of the alchemists. "What do you mean?"

"The Parliament found out about the fifth laboratory, chimera, events that happened in Riore, and many other corruptions, even rumors about homunculus have surfaced. The Parliament felt alchemist's were abusing their rights and were getting much too powerful. Only state alchemist's can use alchemy and we are only allowed to use alchemy if it's pre-approved, pre-approval means hefty paper work and only in extreme circumstances. They aren't considering Xing's threat as a extreme."

This had to be a joke, stuff like this always seemed to happen when you placed a bunch of old fogy's in a powerful position.

I placed my face in my hand so I could try and concentrate, if alchemy was practically outlawed than that meant they were depending primarily on fire power. "Why are you telling me all of this? I am an alchemist, if alchemy has been outlawed than I serve no purpose, not saying I really want any purpose to serve."

Armstrong cleared his throat informing us he was still present. He looked at me with intense eyes. "The Fullmetal was loved by the people. Our country is losing order; more and more rebellions are taking place against the Parliament. If we could use you as a symbol of hope it would be possible for Amestris to band together and maybe then we can save this country. Edward, you once were the hero of the people, can't you be the hero again?"

None of these people had a clue of what they were talking about; their talk of symbolism and hero's was all mythological stuff. What made it worse was they were saying_ I _was the 'symbol' and the 'hero'. Me, out of all people! Heck, Al and I were only trying to get our bodies back during those days, when we helped people it was usually for the good of our own purpose.

My voice came out flat, but what I said was honest. "Fullmetal died during his last battle. This country isn't going to be saved by a symbol of hope; the only way would be if the Parliament was replaced. But even then, if the Parliament fell Xing would find it a prime opportunity to invade, you guys are simply fucked." I seemed to have a way to use beautiful terminology.

The room went silent; everyone seemed caught in their own thoughts. I reached for my drink and took a big gulp.

Riza broke the silence first. "So, are you saying there is no hope?" I have always found Riza as a bold woman, this was the first time I ever heard weakness creep into her tone.

I sighed. Why these people were interested in my opinion was beyond me. Hell, I hadn't even been in their world for three years, sad that people might actually base their political decisions off my advice.

"The only way I can think of is if the Parliament was modified from within the system, that way Xing wouldn't see a big opportunity for invasion. But to do something that extreme without going unnoticed would be extremely difficult." I stopped for a second to see if anyone had anything to say… Someone? No one? I see… so I continued.

"Look, if the citizens of Amestris aren't agreeing with the Parliament than the only way to change public opinion is to change the source of their problems, once you change the source, everyone will be happy and will fight willingly. It's just too bad none of you have enough political power to influence the system."

I took another sip of my drink while trying to look innocent; I didn't want to piss anyone off.

Roy tapped his finger on the coffee table that was in front of us, he seemed like he was in deep concentration. Armstrong just looked at the floor while Riza played with her glass of juice.

I looked around the room not sure what to do. Politics was never my favorite subject, but I suppose it was better than talking about myself and being asked about the last three years of my life. I began to hum a melody that my father and I would often listen to on the radio.

It took me a second to notice everyone was staring at me.

"Err, what?"

Roy smirked. "I never knew you to be the music loving type."

I shrugged. "Are we done here?"

Mustang sighed while picking up the map to look at it more closely; the map covered his face while he spoke. "Edward, is the Fullmetal really dead?"

I stood up and grabbed the map from the Generals hands.

"Yes, and it was I who killed him."

* * *

Authors Notes:

OMG ED KILLED FULLMETAL! That bastard.

Thanks for everyone that has reviewed so far. I hope your enjoying the fanfic. Do you guys think Ed's point of view is jiving with you? I hope so.

* * *

**Sorceress-Fox:** Thanks for the review! Umm, pairing? Tee heh. Well so far you know its Riza and Roy. Sorry Yaoi lovers! I'm writing this fic based on either hints or facts seen in the series/manga (and also what I think might happen with age). I do not see any implications of Yaoi (not saying I don't disagree with the idea, oh am I naughty.  
Pairings for Ed? Wahahaha! I'm evil… you will see.

**Gozilla:** Thanks for the review. An update as you wished.


	4. A Life's Reunion

Don't own Fma, but if you wanna give me legal bindings I'll be more than happy to take.

* * *

**Held **

By The Gomp

I looked at myself in the mirror; I was unimpressed by my appearance. I pulled at the white collared dress shirt in a poor effort to give my body more ventilation. I looked like... a mini blonde haired Roy Mustang. But I supposed it comes with the territory if I plan to wear his clothes.

Ok, so it wasn't all that bad. Better than the hospital wardrobe that I had been wondering in the previous day. I sighed at my reflection. The clothing was two sizes too big, I was missing my right arm, and as a person I looked like hell. I un-tucked the white dress shirt from the pants and unbuttoned it. I had a white tang-top under the dress shirt so it wasn't like I was revealing anything. I pulled the pants even higher up my stomach and tightened the belt with my one hand. That at least assured me I wouldn't trip over my pant legs.

My style was getting a little better even though it wasn't really an appropriate style for a young gentleman. Ha, me a gentleman? So I suppose the outfit was good to go.

I ran my hand through my bangs and than along the back ponytail. It was a trait my father used to commonly do. It always reminded me of a rather feminine motion… I shook my head at the intruding thoughts.

My hair was now past my mid back, nearing the waste. For years I had contemplated on cutting it, but a bit of sentimental value had found its way into the locks. I'm not exactly sure what that 'sentimental value' was, but there was something there. It was something that told me to not cut my golden mane.

I looked around the small bedroom that the Mustangs (haha, Mustangs) had allowed me to sleep in the past night. There was nothing special about it. The room was painted blue and had a bed, a dresser, and a closet. A full body mirror was nailed to the far left wall and that's what had been entertaining me for the past half hour. Exciting, Eh?

A knock at the door grabbed my attention. "Yes?"

"Are you fully dressed?" I opened the door for Riza. I moved out of the way so she could walk in. She looked at the bed surprised. "Thanks for making the bed. It's hard for me to get even Roy to make our bed."

I nodded. "Manners. I am a guest in this house, I should clean after myself."

Riza gave a soft smile while she leaned against the dresser. "Turn so I can see what you look like."

I did a turn for her hoping for her approval. She began to bite on her thumb nail. "I really wish we had something smaller. Do you feel comfortable?"

I looked in the mirror again. Really, I didn't. But in actuality, it didn't matter. "Its clothing, so who am I to complain? Trust me, I would rather Al saw me in this than hospital clothing. I don't want them to get the wrong impression."

Riza laughed. I smiled in humor upon hearing her laughter. Her laugh was rather masculine to belong to a woman, but I supposed that sort of thing happens after spending years trapped with men in close quarters.

"I doubt your family is going to care about your fashion sense. They're just going to be happy tosee you again."

I rubbed my freshly shaved face. The skin was smooth to the touch. "I hope you're right. Well, I'm sure you're right. I think I'm just nervous." My biggest fear was that everyone had changed, changed so much that I didn't have a place to be in their lives anymore. I mean, deep down I knew that would never happen, but fears are fears. Humans live off those things.

"Don't be nervous. Everything is going to go great. Do you want me to hem the pants? I'll have no problem getting them done before you leave."

I looked at the clock that sat behind the bed. I still had five hours before the train was to leave. It was only six in the morning. I scratched my head sheepishly. "Would you mind?"

Riza shook her head. "No, don't worry about it. I actually had a military course on sewing when I was still in prep-school. So, if I do say so myself, my sewing is rather efficient and I'm excellent with timing." Yup, that's military talk for you.

I unbuckled the belt in attempt to slide the waste line down, but instead the pants decided to just fall right off my body revealing my boxers. Riza lifted an eyebrow at me. Want to talk about embarrassing. "Sorry sorry!" I grabbed the pants and pulled them back on as quickly as possible.

A cough from the doorway made me jump. My face flustered when I saw who it was. "Edward, I come here with great news and what do I find! You, trying to flash my wife." Roy held a humored tone.

"Shut up! It was an accident."

Riza and Roy shared a smile together; I only looked at them irritated. Riza bent down and began measuring the pants.

"What do you want?" My voice wasn't the least bit friendly.

Roy tapped his finger on his chin while looking me up and down. "I just wanted to see how good my wardrobe looked on you. I must say, the clothing is beautiful, but the occupant inside does it no justice." People have always wondered why I was never too fond of Roy. This was just one of the many reasons.

"It's not my fault that you're fat so the clothing won't fit right."

Roy's mouth fell open. Wahahaha, my comeback gave me the desired response.

Riza looked over at Roy. "Roy, you're not fat. Trust me, you really aren't. He's just trying to upset you." I gave Riza a playful-dirty look for ruining my moment. She only smirked while going back to measuring.

Roy eyed me carefully. "I see. Well, I did come here with a meaning. I have some fantastic news for you."

I waited a moment hoping Roy would continue, but he waited for me to play along. I gave an exasperated sigh. "Oh what ever could the fantastic news be?"

"Well, it looks like I'll be joining you."

I stared at him for a second trying to decrypt what he just said. "Huh?"

Roy nodded. "I think it's going to be a really nice day today too."

I growled at him. "Will you elaborate more on what you previously said?"

"Oh, you mean about me joining you? Well, see, originally Armstrong was supposed to be your escort, but he's been given orders that must be carried out immediately. So instead it will be me. Exciting, don't you think?"

I tried to stay calm. I made sure my voice came out natural and mature. "I can take care of myself. You have a pregnant wife who is due soon. I don't think it would be appropriate for you to leave her alone."

Mustang walked into the room and slapped me playfully on the back. "Aren't you just the gentleman? Don't worry, Riza says its fine. Isn't that right sweetens? Besides I'll only be gone for a few days."

Riza nodded to confirm.

Sweetens. To hear Riza Hawkeye being called sweetens by Roy Mustang was very disturbing.

My voice came out a bit more timid. "I don't need an escort. I'm 19 years old."

Roy laughed with glee. "See, that's the problem. You're 19 and your hormones are running wild. Just don't know what might happen if I left you on a big train with possible female companions all by yourself."

I wondered if two horns were going to grow out of my head. I began to growl uncontrollably. Stay calm... must stay calm. "GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! Once I get my auto-mail back you are going to regret the day you were born."

Riza stood up, finishing her measurements. "Edward, act your age. Besides, Roy isn't going because he wants to be your escort; there is some other business there that needs to be taken care of."

I looked at Roy curiously. "Business?"

Roy sighed while looking at his wife. "You always have to ruin everything for me." He turned back to face me. He ran a hand through his dark hair. "Yea, really it's nothing serious. I just have to do a yearly routine check with the military facility there. You know, make sure there isn't any problems or such."

The military facility in Rizenpool has always been practically, well, nothing. They always had three service guards who were more like police officers. "Why do you have to see them personally? Can't they send paper work or something? Seems a little costly for something so minor."

Roy shrugged. "Parliament law. It seems they want us to be more aware of what takes place in every single little military facility that exists in this nation."

That really did seem like too much. "It's almost as if they don't trust their own people."

Roy gave thought to what I said before he answered. "I don't think that's it. Parliament is just trying to keep better track of the number of civilians and what takes place throughout the country. A lot has to do with the rebellions. It's easier to maintain them this way."

Riza coughed to grab both our attention. "Yes dear?"

Riza ignored Roy and looked at me while pointing at my pants. "Off." I eyed her then looked down at the overly sized blue fabric.

"Well can you guys leave and then I'll give them to you?"

Riza shrugged while grabbing my pants like a mother would. She undid the button that was barely keeping them up which gave her the desired effect she wanted. The pants fell directly to the floor. I blushed while stepping out of them.

"Thank you." She grabbed the pants and left.

I felt practically naked and very uncomfortable. I was standing with Roy Mustang in crisp white boxers.

Roy looked me up and down for a moment. He had a smart remark, I just knew it. It was coming.

"Anyways, really what the Parliament is doing is probably a good idea in the long run. If a war does break out than the military will be even more prepared." Yup, that's my favorite General. Right.

I looked around the room for the hospital pants I had been wearing. They were curled up in a ball on top of the dresser. I picked them up and slide them on. "Yea, yea, whatever. Look, I don't care. I just want to get home, so don't annoy me. I suppose you will be sitting with me on the train?"

Roy nodded.

Sometimes I really loved my life.

Loved it so much I wanted to stick a fork in it and twist really, really, hard.

* * *

I looked through the racks in hopes to find a decent pair. A pair of blue rims caught my attention. I placed the glasses on my face and looked in the mirror. They would work. I made sure the prescriptions were right and paid the shop owner. 

I looked behind me to find Roy waiting patiently. I smiled at him. "That's it, let's go."

Roy nodded as we began to shove our way towards the train station. Even though it was still relatively early, central was busy and alive.

"So, are you excited?"

Roy looked at me surprised. I supposed he wasn't expecting me to speak. "Excited about what?"

"About the baby." I personally had always liked children even though I still wasn't sure if I would ever settle to have my own.

"Well yea, it was my idea." I stopped for a moment to look at Roy. Roy wanted kids? The only thing I remembered Roy ever wanting was… eww.

"Your idea? It wasn't Riza's?"

Roy shook his head with a smirk on his face. It seemed like he was getting enjoyment out of my surprise. "I actually had to convince her. I've always wanted children of my own, just was never sure when." Odd…just odd.

"Have you chosen names yet?" Roy nodded as we approached the train station. The train station looked as plain as ever.

"Avena if a girl and Maes if a boy."

The name Mae's caused my heart to skip a beat. "I see."

Maes Hughes, a man I would never be able to forget. It seemed very appropriate for Roy to name his boy Maes considering there old friendship.

Roy and I stopped walking as we reached the proper train tracks. I looked for a bench to sit on, but my eyes stopped dead when they landed on a certain muscular beast.

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought Roy said you had other orders..."

Armstrong nodded his overly large head. "I was asked to give something to Roy before I left on my own journey. Anyways, Edward Elric, you must be so excited! I'm so happy for you." I had to bite back a scream when he wrapped his arms around me.

"Armstrong, let the poor boy go. What business do you have here?" Armstrong suddenly allowed my body free which caused me to stumble slightly.

"I was sent here to deliver some papers to you General Mustang, Sir." He gave a hefty salute.

"Good Major."

Armstrong turned and grabbed a leather brief case that was still on the bench. He pulled out a packet of papers and handed them to Roy. Roy flipped through them with bored eyes. "Thanks Major. You are relieved." Armstrong nodded.

His eyes... they stared right at me. I looked away pretending I didn't notice. He began to step towards me so I took a few steps back. He was such a freak sometimes.

"Edward, I'm going to miss you."

I nodded my head while still stepping back. "Yea yea, I'll miss you too."

With one easy swoop, I was back in his arms in a bone breaking hug. "Take care of your self. You have a fragile body."….yea, that's because you're always damaging it.

I pushed the man away and straightened out my outfit. "I will. Bye Armstrong."

Armstrong nodded while wiping a few tears away. "I'll miss you." And with that, the beast of all human kind left.

It's not that I hated Armstrong; he's actually a very kind man. He just knows how to scare the be-jezzes out of me.

* * *

The morning sunshine teased my eyes. We had been on the train all yesterday and all through the night. It was still early in the morning, precisely 6:42 if you must know, and there was a half hour left till the train would make its stop at Rizenpool. 

It was still hard to believe that I really was going home. I was going to see everyone again and maybe; just maybe, this might finally end in a happy story.

A soft moan grabbed my attention. I looked to the seat that was across from me to find Roy still curled up asleep.

Surprise, Surprise, it actually wasn't that bad traveling with him. We had played some chess and he filled me more on what has happened in the past three years, which was nothing that was really note worthy.

I stretched out my limbs to help more circulation. The country side danced across my face as I looked out the window. The air was fresh and nature was running wild. Oh how I had missed this world.

Another noise from Roy made me look at him again. He was still fast asleep in his own little world. I looked down at the brief case that laid next to him. On top of the brief case were the papers Armstrong had given him.

You would think for someone with such a high raking military position they would be more responsible. What if the papers were top secret or something? I eyed Roy for a second. What if the papers were... very important?

I couldn't help it; I grabbed the papers and looked at them. They weren't written documents like I had expected. Instead they were surveillance photographs.

My mouth fell open. There was just no way. Each photo covered certain sectors of the Great Desert. To the untrained eye it would seem like just sand, some holes, and some rubble. But to the military trained eye you could see much activity. Too much activity.

There were hidden trenches and camps by the hundreds. Heck, maybe even more than that. The trench's were dug deep into the sand while the camps seemed partially buried in the ground with tents that were between a #E0DEB8-#FDFBDB color code. All in all, it was a perfect blend.

"They want to drag us out into the desert." I jumped in shock when I heard Roy's voice. Oopsy, got caught.

"How do they plan to do that?" Roy shrugged. "Still not sure, but it's a brilliant strategy for them to do so. Half their country is part of the desert. They are used to harsh sandstorms and the beating sun. Our troops however..."

"They can't even survive a hot summer day. You're right, it is brilliant. It would also take away from civilian causality's. How long has this been going on?"

Roy sighed while he took the papers from my hand and began to flip through them. "We didn't find out until a few weeks ago. I would say they have been working on the camps for about six months."

War… War was a scary thought. It was even scarier during the days I was still in the military. I always dreaded that a war would happen and I would have to fight in it. But now… "Is this going to affect my life?" It was a dumb question, but I had to ask.

Roy considered what I asked. His face began to scrunch up while in concentration. "Well, war will affect everyone. If this country is taken over then we will be under the Xing rule which is a dictatorship. Many of your free rights will be taken away."

"I don't want to go to war. I don't want to be pulled into this mess."

Roy gave a look of disappointment. Everyone wanted me to go back to the military, but it sure as hell wasn't part of my plan. I had done my years of military service and I still had a strong dislike towards the military. "I will do my best to make sure that you don't get pulled in."

I smiled at his kind gesture. Roy was usually good at keeping his word.

"Thanks. What's going to happen to Ishbal?" Ishbal was located between Amestris and the Great Desert. We had colonized the country last time I had been in this world, but you just don't know what could happen in three years. Hell, a lot has changed.

"Ishbal will be evacuated and the citizens will be pulled into this country. The process is taking place as we speak. Since the Ishbal's are still under our jurisdiction it's our duty to protect them." Man, Ishbal seemed to be the country that gets poked at the most.

I had seen a glint in Roy's eye as he spoke of Ishbal. I had a feeling that he was making it his personal duty to protect them. I wouldn't be too surprised if that was the case. After all, he did owe it to the country.

A bell rang throughout the train. My heart bounced at every ding. Mustang pulled out his pocket watch and looked at the time.

"Train will be stopping at Rizenpool in ten minutes. Are you ready?"

I looked at Roy not sure what to say. Was I ready? Hell, I've been ready my whole life. But was I scared? More scared than the time I had died.

My hand wrapped around the heavy case I had been lugging around all day. It carried my metal prosthetics. Roy gave me a warm reassuring smile. "It's going to be fine. Relax. Would you like me to come with you?"

Our plan originally was that we would split ways at the train station, but for some reason I felt like I needed someone, someone to walk that long twisty road that led to the Rockbell's house with. I gave a nervous swallow and nodded my head. I didn't care if it made me a wussy, I just needed some support.

"I'll walk with you till you get to the house. I can't stay too long since I have a train to catch by night time." I nodded absently while I looked out the window. My body had a numb feeling to it. It was a numb feeling mixed with excitement, fear, and whatever other emotions existed in the world.

The train finally slowed to a stop. Roy literally had to pull me up by the shoulders to get me to move. Sad thing when you can't even walk on your own. Once we got out of the train I could only stare at the things around me. There were a few new shops that lined the walk way to the small train station.

A few people watched me. I wasn't sure if they recognized me or if it was such an odd sight to see an armless guy and a guy missing an eye. We looked like war veterans who had just returned from their final battle. Hell, we practically were.

Roy used his hand to push me forward. My feet didn't seem to be responding right. I took a few deep breaths to try and clear my conscious. My brain was running a mile a minute and didn't want to give reality the time of day.

"Ed, do you need to sit down?" I shook my head. I had to move forward. My steps first started slow, but once I got into the motion of things they began to move faster. It reminded me of the process to teach a kid how to walk.

We past farms, trees, lots of grass, and animals of all sorts. Yup, Rizenpool was the place to be.

The walk was a pretty good distance. Amazingly Roy had no problem keeping up. It seemed like his leg was no obstacle even though he still needed a cane.

After awhile of walking I finally came to a sudden stopped. I stopped as we entered the road that led to Granny Pinako's house. Roy walked right into me, but I was able to keep my balance.

"What's wrong?"

I swallowed hard. "I'm about to find the truth of all truths."

Roy placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "Just walk forward. There is nothing to be afraid of." Ha, nothing to be afraid of? I had everything to be afraid of. Funny that 'walk forward' used to be my famous Fullmetal line. Shows how ignorant one can be.

"What if they don't want me anymore? Or what if something has happened to Al?"

Roy looked at me as if I had suddenly grown a second head. "Al's fine, I already told you that. And why wouldn't they want you? Everyone has been waiting for you for three years."

My stomach twisted while I could hear my heart beat in my ears. So this was it. This is what I had waited for, for three years. No, I've waited almost my attire life.

We walked up the dusty path that led to Granny's. There was nothing different. It all looked the same from grass, to the mountains, to the trees. It always looked the same. Every time I came to Rizenpool I always felt safe because things never changed.

The house slowly began to come into view. The more I looked at the fading yellow paint the more heavy my heart felt. I was tempted to fall to my knees and scream from joy and then cry in despair, my emotions were running wild. But I had to keep walking forward. Roy told me to walk forward.

The silence stretched between him and me. For the first time in a long time I felt I had to say something to fill the void of quietness. "Do you think they will be awake?"

Roy shrugged. "I told them to expect someone around 7. And if you look right in front of you, you will see someone already waiting."

I took in a deep breath of air as I turned my head. We were still a good distance away so it was hard to see who he was talking about, but the closer we approached the more I could make out the tiny figure smoking away on their signature pipe. Granny Pinako looked across the vast mountain ranges that surrounded her house. As long as I'd known her she would always come out in the early mornings just to take in her surroundings. I smiled at that.

Roy gave my shoulder a friendly squeeze as we finally approached the house. Granny smiled at us after pulling out her pipe. I could only smile back.

"Roy Mustang, I wasn't expecting to see you. What a pleasure it is to be in your presence again. How is your wife doing?"

I looked between Granny and Roy. For some reason I had expected a little bit more attention. I bit at my cheek, must. remember. manners.

"She's doing very well, thank you. The baby blankets you sent us, I assure you, will be put to good use."

"I'm happy to hear that. I hope the baby will have your eyes. Such beautiful eyes that child would have." Granny, the flatterer? That was something new.

"Ms. Pinako you always know how to give the best compliments."

My mouth fell open as I dropped my suitcase. I was being ignored. I mean, IGNORED! No tears, no happy shouts, no limbo dances…ok I wasn't expecting a limbo dance. But I mean you would think that she would give a flying hoot!

"I am only stating the truth. So, who's your friend?"

…she didn't recognize me. I think if my mouth could have fallen any more open you would have been able to stick an 8 ball in it. My eyes were wide with shock while I pointed at her. My mouth tried to form words, but I was too astounded to speak.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Roy gave me a friendly shove. He could be a little bastard at times.

Granny Pinako took a big huff from her pipe. She looked at me from head to toe. It was then that her eyes opened wide from her own shock. Her pipe fell from her limp hands.

"Edward?"

All we did was stare each other. It felt like an ice age had passed before a smile crept onto her face. "Edward... is it really you?"

My own smile spread as I nodded my head. Granny Pinako walked over to me. I got on one knee so I would be eye level with her.

She placed her small wrinkled hands on my cheeks. Her touch was so gentle, something that was so rare. "It…it really is you."

I placed my good hand over one of her small hands while just nodding my head. I wasn't really sure what to say. Millions of emotions played with my soul while I looked at the old women. Her tiny hand felt so real in my own.

"My, how you have grown."

My gentle eyes turned to irritation. "Is that how everyone is going to greet me?"

Granny Pinako gave a jolly laugh. It was refreshing to my ears. A laugh I had missed very much.

Granny turned for a moment and screamed towards the house. "Winry, everyone, get out here at once! We have a big surprise!" Her voice echoed throughout the country side.

I didn't bother to stand as the front door opened to reveal Winry and my old Master Izumi. I watched the two women carefully as they stretched out their tired body's not really paying attention to the world below. Winry looked at Granny curiously. "Granny, what's going on?" Winry's hair was about the same length as mine, maybe a little longer now. She had curves that didn't belong on her, but then again I supposed these days she was a woman. I was tempted to run up and yell 'hello', but something was distracting me.

Izumi seemed oblivious to the world as she watched me. Her gaze was piercing and actually…rather frightening. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to say something or run and hide. So instead I just watched her.

Before I knew what was happening, I found Izumi wrapping her arms around me, giving me a massive hug. I forgot how quick my old Master could be. I gave a squeak of surprise. "Edward, is it really you?"

I wrapped my arm loosely around her. Hugging was never really my thing. My voice came out almost in a whisper. "Yea, it's me." I could feel her running her hand through my hair as if it was something totally foreign to her.

I looked over Izumi's shoulder to look at Winry. Winry had fallen to her knees and had her hand over her mouth while she watched me. I could see tears falling freely down her face. I rolled my eyes but gave a soft smile towards her. She always cried when it seemed least necessary. But then again, for how many emotions were running through me, I was tempted to cry myself.

Winry stood up and walked back into the house. I watched her curiously not sure why she left.

Izumi left the hug and pulled me into a standing position. She brushed away the dirt that had gotten on my shirt. "I can't believe its you… how...?"

I stared at her not sure what to say. I swallowed in a poor effort to clear my throat. "Does it matter?" Izumi shook her head causing her hair to sway.

Someone gasping caught my attention. I looked in the direction that I heard the noise. My life felt like it stopped working for a moment. I fell forward to my knees while I looked at the young boy who was standing on the porch. "Al." Al stood on the porch with Winry standing behind him.

I blinked a few times making sure that my eyes weren't playing a joke. My brother was in the flesh. There was no more armor, he was a real boy. My brother slowly began to walk down the porch steps. We both were entranced by what we saw.

The closer my brother approached the more loudly my heart seemed to beat. Memories of the steel armored boy taunted me, telling me that it was impossible that this was the real thing in front of me. But Al was real. And he was a real boy coming closer to me.

He seemed so small, so fragile. "Edward?"

It felt like a big bubble had clogged itself in my throat. I tried to speak, but I couldn't form words. I gave him a nod to try and assure him who I was. My brother walked up to me. It was then that I realized something wasn't right. He was so small... too small. He was almost the same exact boy that I last saw when we did our mothers transmutation. He didn't look like the 18 year old boy he was supposed to be. I forced my voice to work. "Al?"

My brother nodded as he placed his hands on my shoulder. He ran his hands down my chest and than over my face. His hands were so small, like a child's.

"Al, is... is it really you?" My brother nodded again as he played with my hair curiously. We watched each other carefully not sure what to say. I ran my own hand through his hair and down his back.

A few tears fell from his eyes. "Brother?"

I nodded more quickly as I wiped his tears away with my hand. My brother let out a loud sob before he collapsed onto my body. He hugged me and cried. I hugged back while trying to be the man I was to comfort him, but it didn't take long before my own tears began to silently fall.

We hugged, we cried, and we laughed.

The world seemed so perfect.

Which was odd because life never seemed to like me.

So the only question I had to ask was how long did life plan to stay this way...

* * *

**Authors notes:**

Ahhh! I rewrote this chapter three times till I finally got it the way I liked it. I think I'm pretty satisfied with the results. But, I did have a really cool chat between Riza and Ed that I had to cut out.

In the chat Riza explained to Ed that Roy loved children, especially Ed and Al. Originally, Roy didn't want the boys to do research the philosopher stone because of well…his adventures with Ishbal. But Maes felt it was necessary that the boys be allowed to do their research. Sooo what did Maes do? Maes threatened Roy that if he didn't let the boys do their research than he would tell Riza about how Roy truly felt about her (and if he did so he would tell Riza all of Roy's dirty secrets to try and un-attract her from him). Roy, unhappily, went along with Maes black-mail tactic as long as he didn't have to tell the boys any information he knew that government had on the stone (he didn't want to blame himself if one of the brothers got hurt, and because in the end Ed disappeared he ended up doing so anyways). Ahhh ROY WE LOVE YOU!

I don't know, I actually liked the conversation.. But it slowed down my plot line some what (it was like three-four pages long, sad how I was able to fit it all in one paragraph)..

Ohhh! And what was Ed's response to what Riza told him

'Oh yea, I truly was honored. A bunch of idiots gave two kids the right to loads of government funding and total freedom just because of a blackmail technique that dealt with personal fondness.

Sadly, this was actually making me miss the military days.'

* * *

**Pending-Destruction-** Don't worry! I swear the romance wont be too bad. I know how 'some' of Inuyashas fics are. If people want a fic totally dedicated to Ed's love affairs than…heck take one sweep around this site. The real plot line is coming upon us soon so then you can decide if you hate the fic or not. 

Thank you everyone for all your replies! I love hearing what people have to say and I'm very grateful that so far all have been positive. I hope this chapter was to your pleasing. I know it was pleasing for me to write.


	5. Playful Torment

Don't own FMA, but I probably should.

* * *

**Held**

By The Gomp

The flames of the candle danced around in front of me, the room had a soft glow giving it the feel of surreal.

I looked into the blissful darkness of the coffee that sat in front of me. Oh yes, coffee... it had become one of my favorite beverages. Wouldn't it be great if coffee had the answers to life? You know, like if you took a sip of coffee and it would share the secrets that you yearned most for. Hey! One could dream, couldn't they?

"Auto-mail you say..."

It was late at night, well more like early the next morning, and I was sitting in the kitchen with Granny Pinako. Hmm, nothing like sitting with Granny while pumping yourself full of caffeine. Everyone had long since gone to bed after the day's excitement, but for some reason I wasn't ready to sleep. My body begged for some slumber, but my brain firmly told me not yet.

"I can pay you. Well, that is if Al hasn't wasted all my money yet." That boy would die if he had gone on a spending spree.

Granny shook her head causing some of her wrinkles to flap slightly. I was entranced by how wrinkly she had gotten. Oh, the joys of getting old. "Al hasn't wasted any of the money; it's been placed in the bank."

I sighed with relief. The military was generous in the amount they used to pay me so there was a lot of money at stake. And also considering that Al still was receiving compensation for my 'death', that also meant more dough. All in all, Al and I were set to live comfortably for the rest of our lives. With that much money I could also help Winry and Granny out too.

Going back to the topic of discussion, Granny eyed me warily. "I hope you understand doing the surgery once was risky, but doing it twice is beyond dangerous. Nerve endings are very sensitive, I have to stimulate the endings to connect the auto-mail sensors and doing that is a very risky procedure. If I ruin the nerves than it is possible to fully handicap you. Since I already stimulated them once it's very likely I'll literally fry them this time. You will also have to go through the recovery process all over again. And that's just the procedure, you know auto-mail is very hard on the body's structure. Your muscles and bones aren't meant to carry so much weight for long periods of time."

My hand gripped the coffee mug tightly. Auto-mail was my choice and I already knew the risks. I hated it when the old woman would give me speeches. "That's all dandy, but I want auto-mail back. I know the risks and I'm willing to take the chances. Cheap prosthetics have never really enticed me; I want stuff I can move freely with."

Granny looked at me with dismay which gave me a pinch of guilt. That's the problem using your once legal guardian as your auto-mail surgeon; you begin to actually care about their opinions.

She took a big puff of her pipe. The smoke reminded me of the industrial smoke of Germany, it stank. "Its going to take three years to recover, or in your case one." That's it, think highly of me women. Fill this ego of mine!

I shook my head while taking a big sip of coffee. The coffee had a hazelnut taste to it. Add two spoonfuls of sugar and a tad, and I mean only a tad, of milk and I can only describe it with one word... yummy.

"I bet you I can recover in six months."

Granny leaned back while eyeing me carefully. I gave her a stern stare, daring her to challenge me. I was only 11 when it took me one year to recover. I was older and more durable so there was no way I planned to allow a year to pass this time. I had better things to do than to lie around all day and wallow in my pain.

She smirked. "This will be interesting to see."

I smiled, I had gained a victory.

There was a moment of silence as she smoked her pipe and I tried to seduce my coffee. Than the old hag spoke. "So, how long do you plan to stay this time?"

I looked at her in shock. I was tempted to jump over the table and whack her in the head.

"I have no reason to leave. I believe I told you earlier, this time I'm here to stay. Al has gained his body back so our mission is complete."

Granny took another big puff of her pipe, her nose flared as smoked seeped out. "You gave up on your own limbs?"

I nodded. Deep down I would love to have my real flesh and bone, but come on folks, there is a time when you must seek out reality. "Trust me; I'm here to stay for good. Finally Al and I can live in peace."

Granny lifted an eyebrow at me. "You boys have always amazed me. You two never know when to give up on each other. Did you know Al has been illegally doing alchemy to try and find a way to bring you home? Now that your home maybe your right, maybe you two can live in peace."

I looked at the old geezer slightly surprised by her comment. "Al has been doing a? I suppose that explains why Izumi is here." Izumi... she had given me one hell of a speech earlier that day (a few smack round's are pre-included). It was amazing how she denounces us as her dispels, but still feels she has the right to over power us. She was one hell of a woman, that was for sure.

Granny nodded at my question. "Even at a young age and after losing all of his memories, Al was determined to bring you home."

I sighed when she remarked about his age. Al and I had a six year gap year gap between us now. Him losing the past few years made perfect sense. With no physical body, how could he grow and maintain memories? Even though it all made common sense, that didn't mean I had to like it. Just another thing to add to my pisser-off list.

Granny gave me an easy going smile. You know, one that beams at you. "I hope you know we are happy to have you back."

Ahhh no! Have you ever had a phrase repeated to you like a million times that it slowly was driving you mildly crazy? Well, this was becoming one of them. I bit back an annoyed groan. "Yea, yea, I think you guys made that pretty clear. Today I've just been swooned and cooed at."

Granny's face suddenly turned serious, almost like someone flicked a switch. She began to tap her fingers against the table. "And you haven't told any of us where you have been in the last three years."

I looked at Granny like a child would after being caught, than went back to staring at my coffee. I gave the suitcase that was next to me a slight kick with my foot. I wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that.

The women gazed at me with too much age and wisdom. "You have never been much of a talker when it comes to your personal life. I suppose I shouldn't be surprise that you will refuse to tell me."

"A lot has happened."

"A lot can happen in three years."

I ran my hand through my hair. I knew that sooner or later I was going to have to talk. Granny was probably the best person to start out with.

"Granny…"

The women smiled gently while giving me her full attention.

* * *

The click of the door interrupted my much needed sleep. I was tempted to throw a pillow at the intruder, but that meant I would have to pick it up afterwards. Besides, the pillow was much too precious to sacrifice. 

I blinked a few times to try and focus my eyes. My voice came out heavy from sleep deprivation. "Get out."

"Do you plan to sleep all day?"

I groaned at the familiar voice. "Yes, do you have a problem with that?"

Winry was standing over me with her arms folded. She gave me a playful smile which caused me to glare; she was getting too much humor out of my suffering. "Well, considering Al has been waiting all morning for you to get your butt up, I suppose I do have a problem with it. You missed waving Izumi off." She pulled the toasty warm blankets away from my body ignoring my protests.

"It's still early!"

"Early?" Winry picked up the clock that was behind the bed and shoved it in my face. I looked at the clock in surprise; it was in the middle of the day.

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled sheepishly. "Granny and I were up all night." Which was true, I didn't get to bed till about six that morning.

Winry handed me the prosthetic that was next to the bed ignoring my excuses. Man did I hate cheap prosthetics, they always made my stump feel so freakin' sore by the end of the day. I sat up and connected the cheap plastic to my body.

Winry sighed while she opened the curtains to the room; I had to squint as the sun light blinded my vision. "You're cruel, very cruel."

She only laughed at my remark. She picked up the articles of clothing that were scattered around the room, once she had them all together she tossed the bundle at me. "Get some clothing on yourself."

"Yes mother." The hassles of living with women, they always thought they could tell you what to do! I muttered some curse words under my breath as I began to dress. It took me a few seconds to notice that Winry was watching my every movement intently. After I got my pants on I started getting disturbed by her watchful eyes.

"Winry?" She blinked a few times as if she was in a daze. It just made me more confused. "You ok?" She shook her head as if trying to clear it. Sometimes Winry could be one strange cookie.

She straightened out her clothing in a poor attempt to compose herself. "Sorry... it's just..."

"What, you finally plan to ask me to marry you? Well it's about time... but sadly my answer is no. I found someone much better. Her name is Granny Pinako and she is one major babe." I learned in Germany that if you ever wanted to lighten a conversation, make a dumb joke.

Winry shot me a dirty look but had an upwards twist to her lips. She sat down on the bed next to me. "Edward, you have a lame sense of humor."

"I know, I try."

"Really though, it's just hard to believe that your back."

I pulled on the white dress shirt not even bothering to button it. It revealed my o-so-sexy chest. Right. "Well, I'm back. You better start believing it."

Her eyes still held a distant type of look to them. I could only look at her with a child's curiosity.

"Ed..." She scooted closer to me, too close for comfort. I leaned back slightly to add some space between us.

My voice came out slightly choked. "Yea?"

We stared at each other for a long moment, neither of us blinking. Then the unexpected happened.

Winry grabbed both my cheeks and started to stretch and pull at my face. I narrowed my eyes at her. Man, she really was weird. "Do you mind?"

Winry gave a soft giggle as she allowed my cheeks free from her grasp. "Naa, I don't. Hurry up. Like I said before, Al has been waiting for you."

Al... I looked out the window that was by my bed. It was a bright sunny day and the wind gave a lift to the atmosphere. The type of day that make's you want to frolic in the fields.

"Where's Al at?"

Winry shrugged her shoulders causing some of her hair to fall back. She looked so much older than the last time I saw her, it was so strange. "I'm not sure. Last time I saw him he was helping Granny in the kitchen. Speaking of Granny, she informed me you wanted auto-mail again." Her last sentence had a dark tone to it. Almost like it was a sin for me to want auto-mail. Great, last thing I needed was another 'talk'.

I stood from the bed while stretching out my arm. "Well I'll go find Al. I'm sure there is a lot for us to talk about."

Winry stood and grabbed my shoulder causing me to look back at her. She frowned at me. "Ed, it's your choice with auto-mail. I'm sure Granny has already given you an earful. The only reason I brought it up was sometime today I got to measure you."

I gave her a soft smile. Whahaha, I wasn't gonna get a speech this time. Freedom! "Ok."

I grabbed my boots that were by the bedroom door and brushed off the mud that was plastered to the soles.

* * *

"Well, that's why I didn't go through with it." I threw another stone into the river. This one didn't like me; it just sank right to the bottom. 

"I just don't get why they would try and force you to do that." Al chucked the rock that was in his hands. He got two skips, little turd.

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. How do you explain homunculus to a kid? I hadn't even gotten to the part about our mother, now that one was going to be a bitch to explain. "They aren't able to use alchemy. But one named Wrath, which comes along later in the story, will be able to." That's right, think of it as a story. Not the tale of your lives.

My brother flopped back into the grass. He gave a loud groan of frustration. "How many homunculi were there all together?"

"Seven."

"I don't get why they didn't like us."

"Well it depends which one you're talking about. Not all of them hated us. Actually, only three held personal grudges. The rest just wanted to use us so they could become human."

My brother glared at me. His glare almost matched mine on a bad day. I didn't take offense to his look though; I knew it was from frustration and confusion, not from hate.

"Look Al, this is going to take awhile. We did a lot together and I'll admit that I suck at talking about this stuff." I threw another stone in the river. Oh yea, three skips. Who's the man.

"You're right, Winry and everyone else explained stuff a lot better."

I stuck my tongue out at my brother for defense. Heck, I was a scientist, not a storyteller of folklore. I laid down next to my brother. The clouds in the sky had an orange and pinkish tint to them from the setting sun. Nature was music to our ears.

"How did you get home?"

"How many times must I tell you? Another day."

My brother sighed as he began to twirl some grass between his fingers. It was so amazing just to look at him. He wasn't the armored man I once created, he was a real boy. His hair was brown with blonde highlights and his eyes were a lovely brown that held a subtle gray tint to them. When I was a kid I actually used to get jealous of my brothers looks. He looked more like our mother than I did. I even resented it more growing up, after our father left. I hated it because I ended up becoming almost the splitting image of our father. But now I didn't mind it anymore. In away I was actually proud to look like our pops.

"Ed?"

My brother tapped me. I had totally blocked out anything he might had previously said. "Oh sorry, what?"

My brother sat up while looking at the river. "I asked, do you mind talking to me about the past?"

"Huh?" I pushed myself into a sitting position. "Of course I don't mind, why would I?"

Al tossed another stone into the water; he made no attempt to skip it this time. "I don't know. I-I don't want you to be forced into this. I mean, it's not your fault that I can't remember." I knew it wasn't my fault. It was all part of the law of conservation, even though the law of conservation could go to hell sometimes.

"Really, I don't mind. If anything, I think it's good. You know, maybe it's like therapeutic for me to talk about it. And for you, you really need to hear this stuff."

My brother gazed at me. One of his hands suddenly reached out and touched my shirt, but then his hand fell to the ground.

I eyed him carefully. "Is something bothering you?" I moved closer to my brother and grabbed his fallen hand. His hand was so small compared to mine. Al's eyes also fell to our clasped hands and it was obvious he started thinking the same thing too.

His voice was quiet. "I'm happy your back."

I forced a smile on my face even though I desperately wanted to roll my eyes. "Yea, I am too. Just remember I came back to be with you. Don't think I'm bothered by having to tell you all this stuff. Well, that is if you really want to hear all these stories."

My brother looked up at me, lifting his eyebrows. "Of course I do."

I smiled at him. Man was he a cute looking kid.

"Once I get out of surgery we will be able to spend all the time in the world just talking and being together. Also, if you want you can even show me some of your alchemy skills." My brother's face twisted with surprise. Yup, I knew his little secret, tee heh.

"Granny." See, I wasn't that mean, I explained myself.

"I see." A smile spread across my brother's face. "So, can you tell me what happened after you refused to make the Philosopher Stone?"

* * *

A week passed since the reunion with my brother and today was another bright sunny day for the Rizenpool community. To bad I wasn't able to enjoy it. 

"Oh god, it hurts!"

Winry placed a cold washcloth on my forehead. She fluffed my pillow to try and make me more comfortable. Sure, I loved lying in bed, but not when I felt like utter-crap in it. My body felt like a million people were cutting, tearing, and chewing the flesh off my bones. The pain was becoming almost unbearable.

"Suck it up. You took this better your first time around."

I really wanted to glare at Winry, but it hurt to even move my head. I had over a dozen tubes connected to the areas where my arm and leg should have been. Different types of fluids were being pumped in and out of my body to cause the nerves to stimulate. This was always one of the most painful parts of the auto-mail process.

My words came out in a moan. "Oh, just shut up."

Winry sighed while she sat in the chair next to the bed. I turned my head carefully so I could look at her. She had her arms folded as she silently watched me.

"Do you like watching me suffer?" I shot her a playful smile. Even though I was joking, somehow I wouldn't had been surprised if she really did.

Winry tapped a delicate finger against her chin. "Well, hmm. Do I like to watch you suffer? …possibly." Her smile was just as playful. I guess I would just be left with wonderment.

Another wave of pain suddenly hit my body. I gripped the sheets of the bed trying to calm myself. It hurt so much. I had to suppress a scream as I felt tears squeeze their way out of my eyes. Trust me; this wasn't my definition of fun on a Saturday afternoon.

Winry forced my fingers to release the sheets. Her hand slipped into mine. I gave her hand the death grip until the pain began to slowly reside. I forced my breathing to return to normal. Oh man did this totally suck!

I released her hand slightly embarrassed. "Sorry." Hell, I couldn't lie. I knew I had one hell of a grip.

Winry brushed some hair away from her face while shaking her head. "No, its ok. You need to relax or you're going to make things worse." I didn't even want to know how things could get any worse.

Winry picked up the glass of cold water that was sitting on the bed stand. She placed it against my lips silently telling me to drink. I complied. The water felt good running down my throat, it helped cool my body as I felt it run through my system.

"Do you want me to get Al?"

"No." My voice was hoarse. The last thing my brother needed to see was me like this. I was feeling bad enough that Winry had to watch.

A sheen of sweat covered my body causing me to feel very uncomfortable. I grabbed the blankets that were covering my lower body and pushed them away. I felt so hot. But the sad thing was the instant I pushed them away, I began to feel cold. I couldn't win, could I?

Winry grabbed the wet washcloth that was on my forehead and dumped it into the bucket of cold water that was next to the bed. My eyes were beginning to become blurry. "Winry please, just shot me. I'm not joking." I really wasn't.

Winry placed the now cold cloth on my head again. The cloth felt nice against my hot skin. God, I felt sticky and warm all over.

"Ed, you gotta calm down. I'm being serious." Her fingers smoothed out some of the hair that was sticking to my face. She grabbed the blankets that were at the end of the bed and pulled them back up.

I watched Winry curiously as she took care of me. She was being nice... too nice. Could it be that she matured? Oh my, what a strange revelation that might be.

To bad I still hadn't grown up.

Some more pain shot through my body. This time, I did scream.

* * *

My brother sat at the end of the bed waiting for me to continue. 

This had been the same ritual for the past month. Every morning my brother always came to visit me in my room and I would tell him a story. He then would leave for school. Once he got back he would come to visit me again for about an hour. Then he would do house chores and school work. And after all of that was done, we would finally spend the rest of the evening together.

And what did I do in the times between his visits? I sat in my bed bored as hell.

"So, you thought she was pretty?"

I blushed slightly at my brother's comment. I was never one to speak of my hormonal side. "Well, I suppose. She wasn't ugly that's for sure."

My brother picked at a string that stuck out of the quilt that was covering my body. "I think she's pretty."

I rolled my eyes at him. He thought every girl was pretty. "Great. Well if Rose ever comes for a visit I'll make sure to tell her that."

Al pouted at me. "Your mean."

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. "You shouldn't have said anything."

He stuck his tongue out at me. Aha, he was so fun to torture.

"So Dante used Rose's baby to open the gate? Rose once mentioned that to me, but I didn't understand it at the time. Her memory of the situation seemed kind of blotched."

"Ehh, she wasn't really with it. I think Dante had done something to her."

My brother chewed on his bottom lip while trying to collect his thoughts. I didn't tell my story's in chronological order so sometimes he had a hard time piecing everything together. Hey, don't blame me, I was doing my best.

"I see..." My brother looked at the clock behind the bed. He sighed as he stood up while grabbing his books off the chair. I always hated this part.

"Do you have to go? Cant you just skip out?"

My brother eyed me. Yup, I admit it. I was being an irresponsible adult.

"I have to go to school. Granny says so. If I skipped out I'll just get in trouble." My brother picked up the book that was on the bed stand and handed it to me. "I'll be back in a few hours." I took the book from my brother's hand and sighed. Stupid school. What the hell was the point? I never finished it and look where it got me!

Ok, please don't look.

"Fine, fine, I guess I'll waste my life in this lonely room. No, you go. You have fun with 'school' and your 'new friends'. It's fine. Just leave me all alone."

My brother groaned at me while handing me my reading glasses. "I am going to go! I don't want a guilt trip so just shut it." Wow, my brother was beginning to get an attitude. Someone at that school must be influencing him. Damn whoever that brat was.

My brother left the room in haste. I could only give a sad sigh at the closed door. Since Winry and Granny were busy with the Auto-mail business I was always left alone till lunch time. I pushed the reading glasses up my nose while I flipped through the alchemy book Izumi had sent through the mail as a present. To find alchemy texts these days was a rather rare thing considering all the laws. So I was grateful for the generous gift.

It was a pain in the ass to flip through the book with only one hand. I still had to wait another month and a half till they could connect my new auto-mail. Oh, I was getting antsy just thinking about it!

A knock on the door surprised me. I looked up from my book as the door creaked open. Granny waltzed in while smoking her pipe. "Edward, how are you doing today?"

I smiled at the small woman as she crawled into the chair next to the bed. "I'm doing good. Still pretty sore, but good."

Granny nodded while she examined the wires that dangled from my right shoulder. "It's looking pretty good. You seem to be healing quickly." Well, that was always a good sign.

I eyed Granny suspiciously. She never visited unless she had a reason or if it was time to feed me. I still had three hours till lunch so she wasn't there for food. I waited patiently for her to get on with the point. The old woman just puffed on her pipe while she looked out the window.

I tried not to sound rude. "Granny, why the hell you here?" I said I tried.

Granny smirked when she turned to face me. "Always straight to the point. Well, I just wanted to know how things are going with you and your brother."

I pushed the book off my lap and took off my reading glasses so I could look at her better. "I think things are going pretty well. They aren't perfect, but we are working out the kinks." Really, things were going a lot better than I originally thought they would. The age difference was still hard for the both of us, but we were adapting. Al and I didn't have the word 'quit' in our vocabulary.

"Have you told him yet?" She didn't need to elaborate. I already knew what she was talking about.

"No." Al had always wanted to know our father. After he lost his memories no one had the heart to tell him that he actually met our dad once, he just couldn't remember it. So here I was left to explain our father's death to a boy who desperately wanted to know him. It seemed like they wanted to leave all the dirty work to me.

I turned away from Granny's intense gaze. She disapproved of my hiding the truth from Al, but I was becoming as guilty as everyone else. I didn't have the heart to tell him. I had no clue what to say and even if I did know what to say I wasn't sure I would actually be able to say it.

I mumbled. "I'll get around to it."

Amazingly enough Granny had good ears. She picked up what I said. "You better. He needs to know the truth."

I slammed my left hand against the bed out of frustration. I didn't want to get angry with Granny, but I didn't like it when people told me the obvious. "I know, I know, I'll do it. Ok? Just let me get better." My words came out a little harsher than I meant them to. Granny seemed unfazed.

She took another puff of her smoke. "Good. He deserves to know the truth."

She was right. The old fogy was always right.

* * *

…one and a half months later. 

I looked at the auto-mail arm and leg memorized. They were much lighter than the previous ones I had owned. The steal seemed much more durable and it was very shiny. Purdy.

"What do you think?" Winry beamed at her workmanship.

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, I'm impressed."

Winry laughed as she twirled with the auto-mail in her hands. "I knew you would be. I've worked on these really hard." Her eyes narrowed. "You better not wreck them." Ack, girls!

"How the heck am I going to wreck them? I'm not in the military anymore, calm down."

Winry nodded as she practically drooled over the arm and leg she created. I sat back in fear.

Granny examined my leg stump. Her hands ran over the steal rims that were the connecter pallets. She looked at the various wires that hung out. "Well, everything seems ready to go." She picked up a metal cylinder and began to connect various wires to it. The cylinder was going to be the port that would connect the actual auto-mail. Every time she pulled a wire and connected it, it caused a strange sensation to run through my body. It felt like someone was tickling me while at the same time trying to pull my hair out. Weird eh?

Winry began to do the same thing with my arm. I bit on my lip not sure if I should laugh or cry. Sometimes during these times I wished they would just drug me.

It took them a few minutes till they finally had everything connected. I could feel the weight of the new metal. It felt strange, but at the same time it felt like it belonged, like I was feeling more whole.

"Ed, remember to relax all your muscles when we connect you, your body's going to convulse. It's been a long time since we connected auto-mail to your nerves so you're going to react harshly to it." The very first time Granny had connected my auto-mail I had nearly bitten off my tongue from the shock. It was bad enough missing an arm and leg; I didn't need a miss tongue to go along with it.

Once the auto-mail was connected I still was going to get really sick for a few days or so and I wasn't going to be able to move anything for a few more months. Why, you may ask, is this going to happen? Well, the nerves have to re-adjust to the foreign objects and it was going to take the nerves a long time to do that. This sucked.

Granny and Winry placed the auto-mail near their ports. They began to connect even more wires that dangled freely from my limbs. The anticipation was beginning to get to me.

Winry's movements suddenly stopped which caused me to look at her. Her fingers ran along the metal rim that was connected to my shoulder. I lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Is something wrong?"

"You have a lot of scars on your body." You know, that's a comment I wait all day just to hear. Right.

"Thanks."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it offensive, I just never really noticed how many you had before."

My left hand subconsciously ran over the scare on my right side. "It's ok." I was walking scare tissue; it was the truth, so I couldn't really get mad. But I did have the defense that the scars were during fights that the opponent provoked. Well, most were anyways.

Winry continued on with her work. Both women finished at the same time. The only thing left to do was to connect the nerves. The part that I feared most. I warn you, if you ever want auto-mail be ready for some major pain, a lot of hassles, and possible regret. It's not as great as some make it out to be.

Winry and Granny looked at each other. I could only bite my lip in anticipation.

"One, two, three."

My head slammed against the back of the seat as my body jerked. My vision blacked in and out. My teeth were clenched so tight it surprised me that none of them broke.

I could barely hear Winry's and Granny's voices as they tried to calm me. All that I could hear was the loud thump of my heart in my ears. It was almost deafening. It took me awhile to realize I was screaming. My body didn't want to agree with the metal limbs, pain tore through me as if in protest.

It didn't take long for the world to go black.

* * *

_The gun rang off three more times. My heart missed a beat every time. Flashes of ancient memories danced through my mind. Memories of the time before my father left and my mother died. Memories of when Alphonse and I were just little children with our innocence still intact. Memories I thought I had buried deep inside me._

_My mind blinked. When I opened my eyes I found my father lying motionless on top of Envy. I waited for one of them to move._

_My father's body was suddenly thrown carelessly to the side. My eyes widen in shock as I watched Envy stand up. He was covered in blood. There was so much, it covered him head to toe. Envy licked at the trickles of blood near his mouth._

_He merely smirked at me as he lifted the gun and aimed it at me._

My eyes snapped open. My heart was beating so loudly I was surprised the room didn't shake. The world felt small, too small for comfort. The air had a suffocating feeling to it making it hard to breath. And my body, oh god, my body hurt all over. It was so hot and sweaty. I could feel the tears running freely down my face as I desperately searched for a container or something. The room was so dark I couldn't see anything in front of me.

A voice broke the silence which made me jump.

"Edward?"

My voice came out strained. "I-I...need…."

A bucket was handed to me as I dumped out everything in my stomach. The tears wouldn't stop squeezing their way out of my eyes as images of my father danced around my head.

I felt a hand pull my hair away from my face. I tried to move away from the touch. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. No one.

The bed sunk as the extra person sat on the bed. "Settle down."

I shook my head as I puked again. I couldn't stop. It felt like my body was tearing apart. My body felt like one massive ache.

Winry ran her hands down my bare back in a comforting manner. Her touch felt freezing against my hot skin. I took a few deep breaths to try and relax my body, but it didn't help much. I began to dry heave.

"Edward, you have a fever. Please, just calm down." She whispered the words into my ear. I wanted her to get away from me. I didn't want anyone near me. My father's death kept playing against my eye lids.

My voice sounded pathetic in my own ears. "Get out."

I could feel Winry shake her head. I was tempted to push her away, but it hurt too much to move.

"Granny told me to keep an eye on you. You passed out after we connected the auto-mail. Now just calm down and let me take care of you." I didn't need anyone to take care of me. I had always took care of myself.

A sob tore its way from my throat. I didn't care if I had a fever. I refused to let anyone see me cry. I could feel Winry's hand run its way through my hair. The physical contact felt like a sin.

"Don't touch me, just get out!"

Winry sighed as she moved off the bed while picking up the bucket. The room was so dark I could only make out the outline of her form. In vain I tried to wipe the tears away from my eyes. They wouldn't stop coming.

Winry opened the door as she carried the bucket into the hall. I heard the bathroom door open so I could only presume she was dumping out my mess. It took her a few minutes till she reemerged. The door gave a soft click as she closed it.

Her feet padded softly against the carpet. Her voice was quiet as she spoke. "Who's Envy?"

My eyes widened in surprise. I took a sharp in-take of breath and then allowed it to leave slowly. This time I spoke with more control in my voice. "Didn't I tell you to get out?"

Winry sat in the chair that was by the bed. She leaned forward as she looked at me curiously. "You talk in your sleep. This isn't the first time I've heard you say his name."

I shut my eyes willing the world to just disappear. It hurt to breath. I didn't want to answer the question.

"Just leave me alone." Again the tears fell. My brain didn't seem like it was working right at all, it felt like gelatin that was melting in the hot atmosphere of the room.

She continued on, ignoring my pleas. "I asked Al if he knew who Envy was; but he couldn't give me a direct answer. All he said was you mentioned him as one of the seven sins. But when I asked Granny..."

I laid myself carefully on the bed trying to take in everything Winry was saying to me. After a short while my brain finally processed the information. "I see."

The tears seemed to slow down as my body relaxed. I could feel the sticky residue on my face from the salty substance. Winry's expression was gentle as she lifted a glass cup to my lips. I eyed her for a moment before I began to drink the cold water. She took the glass away when I was done.

"Where does it hurt?"

The question was so stupid I wanted to laugh. 'Where didn't it hurt!'I wanted to yell at her. It obviously hurt everywhere. But instead I just shrugged my shoulders and turned my head so I wasn't looking at her. The room was almost suffocating to be in. "It's hot."

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. After a few minutes of hearing nothing I finally turned my head. Winry was staring at me with an expression I couldn't read. Her voice was a whisper. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"That it was hot?"

Winry shot me a dirty look. Yup, I always tried to crack jokes at the wrong times. "You never tell me anything."

I wanted to say something to comfort her, but I couldn't really find the right words. She was only stating the truth, I never told her anything. But at the same time she always found shitty times to want to talk seriously.

"Winry I..." I tried to form more words, but I couldn't find any other words to say. For some reason it was just so hard to speak.

Winry picked up a washcloth and dumped the remaining of the cold water from the glass onto it. She sat down next to me on the bed again. She placed the cold cloth on my forehead.

"You have always been silent with me for years." She gave me a soft smile. "It's fine. I understand why you never tell me anything. But I am your friend. I just want you to know that if you ever do want to talk, I am here to listen."

I tried to interrupt her speech, but she silenced me with a finger to my lips. "Ed, I know you suffer. But the longer you hold stuff in the more its going to hurt you. If you can't talk to me about stuff, than talk to someone. I hate waking up to your cries at night."

Well, that was all news to me. I blushed, slightly embarrassed. If she heard me in my sleep than that meant probably everyone else had too at some point.

Winry ran her fingers down my cheek. Her physical contact was all done in a friendly manner yet it felt so weird to me. I wanted to flinch at her touch, but I forced myself to remain calm.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For everything."

**

* * *

**

**Authors notes:**

First, I want to make everyone aware I have decided to start a live journal to house some of snippets that are sadly left out or rewritten. If you are interested in reading these than keep tune to my user profile and once I get stuff set up I'll add a link there. Thanks so much to Soulomenspride for your email!

Sorry for the delayed update. This chapter took forever to get right. I literally fully rewrote this chapter four times. Originally my plan was that this chapter was supposed to be short stories of what life was like when Ed first came back to Rizenpool. Ed getting auto-mail was supposed to take place in chapter 6th, but obviously it didn't work out that way. I found it got kind a boring with Ed just talking to his brother and everyone else.

With the first few sections of this chapter I hope I gave the effect that Ed's life is coming together slowly but surely, because that's what I was aiming for. I apologize though that we suddenly go from Ed's first day home to like two months and three weeks later by the end of the chapter. BUT! This is going to make the plot line move faster and smoother. I am very happy with chapter so if you aren't..

Well..

Anyways..

* * *

**Questions you might have**. 

**1. You might be wondering why everyone is so negative about Ed getting auto-mail back**, especially because Winry suffers from an auto-mail obsession. Well my reason for negative comes from the series and manga. Both make it pretty clear that auto-mail surgery is very painful and auto-mail itself can cause problems to the body. There is a line Granny says before Ed going to surgery in the manga which has sorta haunted me. 'You will be coughing up blood'. Now, when you cough up blood that is NEVER a good sign (if u do I suggest you go to the hospital right away). So with that notion I felt the surgery is extremely dangerous and no matter how much Winry loves her auto-mail, she still cares for Ed's safety. I know, it's so cute.

**2.** **Ed said this:** "What, you finally plan to ask me to marry you? Well it's about time.. But my answer is no. I found someone much better. Her name is Granny Pinako and she is one major babe." I learned in Germany that if you ever wanted to lighten a conversation, make a dumb joke. Winry shot me a dirty look but had an upwards twist to her lips. She sat down on the bed next to me. "Edward, you have some of the lamest jokes."

In my opinion this is extremely un-Ed like. Then why did I write it? Well my point is to show Ed has gotten a little older and isn't so serious about life anymore. I love lame jokes.. so sue me.

**3. Ed puts milk in his coffee!**

Haha, someone finally found my flaw! Yes, I wrote thatEd put milk in his coffee and it actually was a flaw on my part because I forgot about Ed's milk... problem. BUT! I do have a form of self defence. In the manga (and I also think the anime series actually)Ed points out that he still eats alot of products that has milk in it, he just refuses todrink milk straight. I know in the manga Ed complains about how stew (and I also think he mentions soup) tastes so good but its like a sin because it has milk in it. So, I will not remove the milk comment, but I wont deny my mistake.

**

* * *

**

**Zidetprincess1-** You almost cried? Wow.. I would never think my words would have that much of a impact. Thanks! Yes, I love the brotherly love between Ed and Al. And Armstongs pink sparkles.. 'Eats one'.. so tasty.

**MusicalRileyChan-** AHHH! Dont die OO 'Revives you'. Wow, that was a close one. Well I'm glad you enjoying the fic. I defiantly enjoy you as a reader.

**Sorceress-fox-** Don't give up hope! Even though some of my chapters might take awhile, they will be posted. If for some reason I couldn't continue the fic (yea right, but you never know) than I would defiantly announce it. Side stories.. Well like I said previously I will be starting a live journal for all the sections that were cut or rewritten. So if your still interested in reading the story about Riza and Roy, I will be posting that as one of my stories (once I get the journal up). Thanks!

**SamuraiSirius**- That's so flattering! I hope I left a good impression for fma fanfics if I was the first you read. Thanks for the compliment.

**Alpha no Kaze**- You have no clue how sweet your comment was. I want to please readers the best I can so I try to write the best I can. Your comments are always ones that make me smile (well everyone's comments make me smile) but yours have an extra pun to it. Thank you!

**Soulomenspride** - Your response made my day XD

**Gozilla**- an update like you wished.

Thank you so much to everyone else that has commented. I really love reading comments (heck, even negative ones). So if you have one I would love to hear it!


	6. Shorts

Don't own Fma. But I have an elaborate scheme to steal it. Ok, so I really don't. Poo on you!

**SHORTS!**

These shorts randomly take place over a four month period. Ed's birthday is set at the beginning of fall (next chapter I will talk more about this).

* * *

Held

By The Gomp

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, all go to hell.

Everyone stared at me expectantly. I gave in and blew out the candles causing the room to suddenly go dark.

Now, if there was one thing I didn't understand about birthday rituals, it was the fact that everyone clap's once you blow out the candles. They acted like it was some form of achievement. Hell, the only thing I was after was the cake itself.

Granny flicked the light switch to brighten the room again. Winry picked up the cake that was in front of me and left the room so she could go cut it. See, if I was a gentleman I would have helped Winry out. But I was still immobile and it totally sucked! What I would do to be able to take a real shower or go to the bathroom on my own once again.

Oh how did I love cake.

Al crawled up the bed and sat at the bottom of it. His brown eyes just blinked at me. I smiled at him. "Heh, you're lucky. You still got some youth." Yup, I was feeling old as hell with my 20 years of age.

Al shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so. Say Granny, when should we give Ed his gifts?" Gifts, Oh I liked gifts! I looked at Granny with pleading eyes. She looked at me with a lack of sympathy.

"I suppose if you want you can get the presents now." Yay! Gifts are always fun and nice.

Al smiled as he jumped off the bed and left the room. I was starting to feel all curious and antsy. I hadn't known that they had actually gotten me presents.

The room fell silent as Granny crawled onto the chair that was next to the bed. Without a word she dug through one of her large pockets and pulled out something. She held out a black jewelry case. I looked at the case surprised. "Granny?"

She bid me to take it. I grabbed the case with my good hand and placed it on my lap. The case had an expensive velvet texture to it. It seemed like something fancy, which was very un-Granny like.

"I've waited a long time for you to turn a proper age. I feel now is a good time to give this to you."

I only looked at her for a moment, unsure of what she meant. Slowly I opened the case. Inside was a golden pocket watch that had a divine shine to it. There was an alchemy array inscribed on the top. "Granny, what is this?"

Granny smiled gently as she ran her aged fingers over the priceless jewelry. "Your father had given this to my husband." My eyes opened wide. Granny never spoke of her late husband, never ever.

"It was around the time I had first met your father. My husband Edgardo and I had previously purchased this house, and your father needed a place to stay. He stayed with us for a few weeks and we had asked for nothing in return, but your father felt it only proper to give compensation for all our generosity. So he gave Edgardo this watch. He said it followed the 'law of equivalent trade'. Since this had been your fathers I think it's only right to give it to you."

I opened the watch to look at the insides. Amazingly it still ticked. There wasn't a scratch on the beautiful interior. The time was set right on the dot.

"Granny..."

Granny shook her head as she closed my hand around the golden time piece. "Ed, this belongs to you. Just one thing..."

"What?"

Granny narrowed her eyes. "Never let Winry see it."

"Huh?" I wasn't expecting that one.

Granny pulled out her pipe and lit it. "Don't be dumb boy, hide the damn thing before she return's. Winry will tear that thing apart if she sees it." Winry's obsession with mechanics… damn her.

I placed the watch back into the case and placed it in the drawer next to the bed.

Shortly afterwards Winry and Al both bounced in together. Winry carrying cake, Al with presents.

Oh how did I love cake and presents.

* * *

"Ed, you're not going to get anywhere at the pace your going!" 

I growled at Winry. She had no utter clue how hard this was. I held onto the bar with my left hand trying to force my left leg to respond.

"Are you guys positive you connected the nerves right? I don't remember this being so difficult." My voice came out in a groan.

Winry walked in front of me placing her hands on her hips. "Before, you didn't complain as much. This isn't going to be easy. Don't forget your auto-mail is not connected to the same nerves you used prior, you have to relearn everything all over again." I swear that was Winry's favorite line every time we did physical therapy. It was getting annoying.

Al, Winry, and I were down in the basement working on re-teaching me to walk again. You would think for a twenty year old man who was learning to walk for his third time in life it would be much easier. But nooo, life was never easy. It was always so unfair. Well screw you life!

"Why don't you take a break Ed? You have been doing this for two hours now."

I eyed my brother who was sitting on the basement stairs. He looked extremely bored. Trust me, I knew how he felt.

"I can't quit until Winry says its time to." I shot pleading eyes at the blonde haired fruit cake.

She eyed me with irritation. "I don't think so. You're the one whose been ranting and raving about recovering in a six month time. You're already behind schedule."

I sighed. I really wanted to get the whole process over with; the only way to do that was to push myself.

I grabbed onto the bar more tightly, willing my leg to respond. I could get a little joint movement at the knee, but not in a fluid movement. Auto-mail was never easy to adjust to, especially considering the weight difference from natural limbs to metal ones.

I concentrated on the feel of my auto-mail leg. I tried to imagine the flow of my real limbs, even though I was heading on my tenth year without them. I imagined the natural muscles, the freedom of bendable joints, and the motion of circulation with blood flow. If I just tried and imagined that that was how auto-mail felt, it made the world a lot easier.

My stump lifted the dead weight of the metal connected to it. I hissed out as the metal pulled at my skin at the connecter pallets, it felt like the skin wanted to tear.

"Good Ed, force your knee to bend."

I tried to imagine the motion of my knee, the joint bending at the right time so my foot could catch the ground. But instead, my knee responded way to slow. I couldn't keep balance and I headed for a direct nose dive towards the floor. However, Winry luckily caught me just in time. I gave a loud sigh of relief.

"Ed, you're not concentrating hard enough!"

I pushed myself away from Winry. She was really pushing my buttons. "You have no clue how hard this is! I am concentrating; it just feels like my nerves are responding slowly."

"Your not use to exercising these nerves. You need to concentrate more on the feel. You have to train these nerves to respond, they aren't going to do it on their own. It's just not going to be easy." Ahh, this totally sucked. I thought that was what I was doing! Man, this was so much easier my first time around.

I grabbed the bar again. Time to try all over again.

And again.

* * *

I took a large bite out of the apple, feeling the delicious fruit playing over my taste buds. Outside snow danced its way from the sky, covering the farm lands with a white fantasy. 

"Do you want anything else?"

Winry sat in the chair beside the bed. She had her elbows on her knees with her chin in her hands. She was watching me eat; I didn't see what was so fascinating with the process. "Naa, I'm good. Thanks though."

Winry nodded as she kept watching me. Silence filled the room; I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. "Ehh, so umm, what are your plans for today?"

Winry sighed as she leaned back in her chair. "I don't know. Winter is always a slow season for the auto-mail business so it's not like I can do anything with that. Maybe when Al gets home I'll force him to play a game with me."

"How about you play a game with me instead of just staring at me?"

Winry shot me a dirty look. What! I was only stating the truth.

"You are a sore loser when it comes to games. I don't know if that would be such a good idea." I was not a sore loser. Just very competitive.

"Let's play go-fish, it's a simple game. I think there are some cards in the closet. And because you like me so much you will get them for me." Ok, really I was still having a hard ass time walking on my own, but we could pretend that I was just being lazy.

Winry dug through the closet until she found a set of cards. She sat back down in the chair and began to skim through and count them to make sure they were all there. She then turned a threatening gaze at me. "If you cheat, I'll beat you up." You want to know what sucked? If Winry really wanted to she could kick my ass in the current state I was in, it seemed so wrong.

"Winry, I'm not going to cheat. Give me more credit than that."

Her eyes narrowed. "As a kid you use to cheat all the time with card games. So how can I trust you?" Sad thing was she was right, tee, heh.

"I promise I won't cheat, Edward Elric's honor." Winry rolled her eyes as she passed me some cards.

I spread my cards out; I had no matches, what a stinker. Winry however, had a match. I involuntarily squeezed my own cards tightly. I hated it when people got a head start.

"Winry, you start."

She looked at her cards in concentration. "Hmm, do you have any jacks?"

Oh, she was good. I bit my lip tempted to say no, but I had given her my honor. I handed her the card. Winry smiled as she placed the match pair on the bed. I stared at the two jacks willing them to die.

"What about fives?"

Ahah! "Go fish." She picked up another card to add to her hand.

I stared at the six cards in my hand. I had a queen, king, ten, seven, three, and an ace. Which to choose… "Do you have any sevens?" Lucky number seven.

"Go fish." Ok, so maybe not so lucky. I picked up a nine.

"Do you have any three's?" Damn her! I threw my three card at Winry. She caught it before it fell to the floor, lifting an eloquent eyebrow at me.

I looked at her sheepishly. "Opps, it fell out of my hands. Sorry."

"I see." She didn't seem to be buying it.

Heh, yeah, must learn to stay calm, it was just a stupid card game... right?

Winry thought for a moment before she spoke. "How about any aces?"

"……."

Winry sighed. "Edward, do you have an ace?" I eyed my ace card. If she got my ace… no, I wouldn't allow it. But- but... I promised.

I chucked the ace card which mysteriously hit Winry square in the forehead. She growled at me. "Edward, what was that for!"

"It was an accident, relax." Winry's face was turning red, becoming a scary female on the loose. She then took a deep breath to try and help relax herself.

She was defiantly cheating, I could tell. There was no way Winry was that good.

"Ok, how about... hmm, do you have any six's?" Ok, maybe she wasn't cheating.

Wahahaha! I spoke with my most snooty voice. "Go fish." Winry groaned at me as she picked up another card.

Ok, I had to make this one count. "Winry, do you have any kings?"

"Go fish." That bitch! I planned to take her down and throw her in a ditch.

"Ed, are you ok? You seem a little flustered."

I ignored her comment and picked up another card. I blinked a few times as I looked at my new card, allowing realization to dawn on me. Wahaha, it was a six! That meant she had a six. I was set to succeed.

"Ask away Winry."

"Do you have any six's."

"I'm done."

"Huh?"

"I QUIT! You're a cheater, I don't play with cheaters!"

Winry looked at me absolutely appalled. "Edward, it's a stupid card game and I'm not cheating. Now give me your six."

I threw my cards at her.

Ha, I refuse to play with a cheater.

* * *

The door creaked open which surprised me. It was late at night and I thought I was the only one still awake. Proves me wrong. 

Al poked his head through the doorway, shooting me with a questioning look. I took off my reading glasses and placed them on the bed stand along with my book. I bid him to come in. "What's up?"

Al sat down on the bottom of my bed cross-legged. He was wearing his pajamas and had a tired daze to him. "I wasn't ready to sleep just yet."

"Well, you look tired to me."

My brother shook his head as a loud yawn escaped from his mouth. I only lifted an eyebrow at him.

"I don't have school tomorrow so I don't have to sleep."

I sighed as I bid Al to come lay next to me. I pushed myself more to the right as he crawled up the left side of the bed. His body curled up next to me. I pulled the bed sheets around him and wrapped my left arm over his shoulders trying to make things more comfortable.

"You should really go to sleep Al."

Al shook his head as another yawn escaped. "I hate sleeping by myself. We used to always sleep in the same room."

I laughed at him. Most teens would die for their own room; it was nice to know I was wanted. "I'll tell you what; whenever you want you can sleep in my room. You're always welcome." Al smiled as he curled more into me.

Now, if Al and I ever would have slept like this when we were younger I would have been extremely mentally disturbed. But for some reason now it felt so right, so comforting. He was my little brother and there was a bond there that no one could break.

"Ed, do you ever plan to go back to the military?"

I sighed. I brushed some hair out of Al's eyes and kissed him on the forehead in a parent like manner. "Yea right, be stuck with crappy Mustang? Naa, I much rather be here with you guys. My military days are over."

"Good, I don't want you going back. A couple kids in school say their parents who are in the military have been sent to Central recently, the military is calling everyone back. I don't want you to go away." Shit. I held my brother closer.

Rizenpool never received much information about Central since it was right by the borderlines of Aerugo. We received more news on Aerugo than on Central or Amestris; it had always been that way. So for months now I had received almost no news about Xing's advancements. All I could do was pray that something hadn't gone wrong.

A yawn escaped my own lips. I guess the warm atmosphere was starting to make me tired. I turned towards the bed stand and dimmed the oil lamp. It caste a very soft glow over the room.

My brother's voice came out in a whisper. "Ed, do you miss mom?"

I smirked as I placed my head on top of his. Al made one nice pillow.

"Of course I do."

"I miss her too."

"I know Al, just try and sleep."

* * *

**Authors notes:**

Ok, so I was working on chapter 6 (which is now chapter 7) when I realized that there was a HUGE time gap. I just couldn't allow four months to pass without some closure to the time between. I had fun writing these stories and they aren't totally pointless. I got a few specs of plot advancement. My next chapter should be out shortly after this because it is already 75 percent done. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Questions you might have.

1. Edgardo!

Haha, Edgardo is an Old English name that means prosperous warrior. Originally I wanted to find Winry's fathers name and use that for Granny's husband but I couldn't find it anywhere. So I went through an English baby name site and my eyes stopped at Edgardo. My roommate got kind of scared because I couldn't stop laughing at the name (sorry if your name is Edgardo) so I knew it was a winner. Also, if you want to add dynamic to your imagination you can pretend Ed was named after Granny's late husband. That's only if you want to of course.

2. Go Fish!

I just have to say one thing. I LOVE GO FISH! And I am horribly competitive when it comes to games. I have a tendency to scream and yell when I'm beginning to lose. I guess that's why my friends never play with me.. Tee heh.

3. How close can two brothers be?

I have a very distant relationship with my siblings so have no clue how close siblings would act. I am hoping I didn't make Ed and Al's relationship sound more like a romance. That wasn't what I was aiming for.

**4. The location of Rizenpool!**

Gomp has made a very bad mistake, which she did not discover till much later. Rizenpool in the series is actually located north rather than south. I cant fix this problem now since I am so far along in the fic and the location of Rizenpool does play a role in my story. So, I apologize for my flaw! I never realized that in the third episode Alphonse actually say's the location. Me sorry!

* * *

**SoulOmenspride- **We will see if problems form later or not. But as a whole, the brothers do love each other. I love the brotherly bond the series carry's. I am sure if one of my siblings put me in a suit of armor they would throw me in a junk yard or sell me on ebay, not sure which XD. I have really enjoyed getting to know you through live journal! I got more live journal snippets to post so keep a eye out. 

**Alpha no Kaze-** Awe! Thanks for the awesome compliments. It means a lot. I thank Gundam Wing fan fiction for inspiration with the pain scenes. When I was 13/14 I became obsessed with that series and for like two and half years I constantly read GW fics (heck I still do, just not at a constant) and I guarantee you that 75 of those fics have mind numbing, physiologically damaging , pee your pants dramatic scenes. I guess some of them have rubbed off on me and have given me some inspiration. Anyways, thanks!Lame jokes defiantly are the best. I think I drive my roommate mildly insane from my horrible sense of humor. I am glad you enjoy the fic, I aim to please (well more for myself but I love it when people like my stuff!). Its funny cause I still think about that marrying line with Ed and Winry. In the back of my head I still question if its too out of character. But I'm happy you can see Ed saying that. It helps me relax somewhat. Thanks!

**Maria-** Lame jokes defiantly are the best. I think I drive my roommate mildly insane from my horrible sense of humor. I am glad you enjoy the fic, I aim to please (well more for myself but I love it when people like my stuff!). Its funny cause I still think about that marrying line with Ed and Winry. In the back of my head I still question if its too out of character. But I'm happy you can see Ed saying that. It helps me relax somewhat. Thanks!

**SamuraiSirius-** Yea, Eddy poo spilled his guts to Granny. He spilled all of it. In the manga Edhas alot of trust with Granny so thats why I had him tell her.ButEd didn't tell anything to Winry (I'm not sure if I made that clear at all). Ed is a stubborn old goat but that's why we all desire him.. well at least I do. If it wasn't for Ed's stubbornness than the tv series would have never been as good. So lets all celebrate Ed's beautiful body, ego, and noble tough ass personality. With out Ed, who else would I waste countless hours writing about?

**Sorceress-Fox-** Well I'm not going to spill anything about Ed and the military, but we will be starting to talk more about the military not this coming chapter but hopefully the following. Ross is cool and sooner or later you will be seeing some of her. Thanks!


	7. The Start

Don't own FMA, but maybe if I dressed up as Ed and somehow got Al to hold a rope as I lead the owners of FMA into the pits of hell…o. I didn't think you were still reading this.

* * *

Held

By The Gomp

It took me seven months to do it. It took me seven months time to totally recover and I did it. Ok, so it wasn't six like I had hoped.. But I'm not one to complain.

The morning weather had a slight chill to it. Winter was on its way out and the beginning of spring was nudging its way towards the Rizenpool farmlands. I took another sip of my warm tea.. Ok, so I might love coffee but there was something about lemon tea that always made my toes curl. I had to have it at least once in awhile. Anyways..

I took a sip of my tea as the front door creaked open loudly. I turned my head to watch my little brother paddle out in his morning attire. "Al change into something more warm, your going to catch a cold."

My brother stuck his nose in the air as he sat down on the porch stairs next to me. "I don't want too." Sometimes he could be so stubborn.

I sighed as I draped a metal arm over his shoulders. He shivered at the feel of cold metal. I only smirked.

"When is she coming?" I shrugged. "I don't know. Winry just told me to keep a eye out for her." Al wrapped his arms around his bare legs. I never understood how he could sleep in shorts in such cold weather. The iron stove heated the house to some degree, but a cold draft still ran its way through the house. Especially the upstairs bedrooms.

"Sheshka and Master Izumi are coming tomorrow, right?" I nodded as I took another sip of my lemon ecstasy. "Yup, they will be here. It's a shame the Mustangs and the Hughes can't make it. And to bad.." I shivered. "Armstrong is on an important assignment so he can't make it either." Al sighed as he placed his chin in his hands. A gust of wind played with our hair as it flowed past us.

"I don't mind. I know everyone is busy. I'm just turning fourteen."

I eyed Al. "Fourteen is a big deal."

My brother looked at me carefully. "A big deal.. how?"

"Well.. It just is." I ruffled Al's hair. Al grabbed my arm and pushed it away. "Stop doing that. I hate it when you do that." I smirked at my brother's complaints. He was just so cute.

"Older brothers are supposed to do things that annoy younger ones. And we all know how much I love annoying my little brother." Al turned his head away from me. His eyes fell to the ground and his good mood suddenly dropped. His actions provoked some of my curiosity. But before I could investigate any further…

"Ed?" I turned my head and smiled as I watched Rose approach the house. We hadn't seen each other since that final day almost four years ago. She looked almost exactly the same, minus the fact she had her five year old son walking beside her.

"Hey Rose." I stood up as she approached the porch. She placed her baggage on the ground as she looked up at me. "Wow Ed, Winry wasn't lying. You have grown." Ahhhhhhh! Why do people always have to remind me. I forced a smile on my face. "Ehh, you don't say."

Rose wrapped her arms around me in a friendly hug. I looked at my brother not sure what to do. He narrowed his eyes at me silently telling me to respond. I carefully wrapped my arms around her making sure I didn't spill my tea. Never want to waste a good drink.

"It's great seeing you. I can't believe you're really alive."

"Heh, yea. Well here I am, alive and well." Rose pulled away from the hug and nodded her agreement. Even though I hate to admit it, she was one beautiful woman. Rose was someone who had always struck out at me. She was always able to put her complete faith into people; it was something that I actually loathed about her. Her warm smile only captivated me more.

Rose picked up her son, balancing him on her hip. "This is Edward. He's a friend of your mommy's." Rose a mommy,was stillso strange.

The little boy looked away from me shyly. I made my tone soft as I spoke. "Hey there Cain. How are you doing? Winry has told me a lot about you." The child took a quick glance at me but then hid in Rose's shoulder.

"Sorry, Cain can be a little shy. He isn't good with strangers." I took another sip of my tea while I nodded my understanding. A cough from the side of us made me and Rose turn our attention to my little brother.

Rose's smile broadened as she looked at Al. "Alphonse, my how big you have gotten. I haven't seen you for more than a year now. You excited about your birthday?" Al looked at Rose and just shrugged. He walked past her and picked up some of her luggage.

"Granny says you're staying in the guest room upstairs. You're getting the bigger one so Cain can sleep with you. Thanks for coming."

My brother walked by both of us carrying two of her suitcases. I eyed Al not sure what to make of his lack of manners. Rose did the same.

I grabbed Rose's other suitcase and lead her up the porch stairs. "I think it's just a coming of age thing. Don't mind him."

Rose only shot me an unsure look.

Yea, just coming of age. That's all.

* * *

The female's swarmed around the table as I sat bored. So freakin bored I was tempted to start shooting spitballs.

Sheshka took a bite out of her mango and then spoke to Granny. "It's a shame you had to narrow the guest list this year."

Granny took a big puff of her pipe. Man, I can't believe that woman hadn't died from cancer yet. "I could only invite people that knew of Ed's… return. I know it's not fair to Al, but we can't afford controversy." I tapped my metallic fingers against the table. Yes everyone, blame it all on me. Ignore my presence.

"Ed's a big boy. I think he can afford some controversy." I rolled my eyes at Izumi. "Look, I don't need any more problems with the military. Sorry that I might be an inconvenience to you guys. I offered to go for a short vacation while Al had his party, but Granny told me I had to stay put."

I really wasn't happy over the whole situation. Al had made a lot of friends in the military, especially after he lost his memories. Everyone had band together to try and help him remember. But because of my presence, a lot of his friends couldn't be invited. It left me with one big ass guilt trip.

Rose stirred her drink. "Ed, we're just hassling you. Don't take things so seriously." I placed my chin in my hands as I chewed on the end of a toothpick. Of course I was going to take things seriously, Al was my little brother.

The oh-so-boring conversation continued on for awhile longer until a loud cry from upstairs grabbed everyone's attention. Finally! A reason for escape!

I motioned for everyone to sit down. "Don't worry; I'll take care of everything. You lady's enjoy yourselves." I even gave a wink for emphasis. As I walked away I heard Sheshka comment on how nice I had become. Ha ha, if she only knew the truth.

Each stair going upstairs gave a protested squeak as I placed my weight on it. Granny's house was a rather old farm house. As kids we use to always try and sneak outside late at night, but Granny always caught us by the squeaky steps. The devilish old woman.

I followed the sounds of the loud cries till I reached Al's room. I pushed the door open to find Al trying in vain to comfort Cain.

"What's going on up here?" Al looked at me while shaking his head. "Cain fell off my bed and I can't get him to stop crying." Kids cry over the dumbest things.

Cain kept wailing while he tried to curl into a ball. I picked the child up and examined him closely. He didn't seem injured at all, just crying for attention. If there was one thing I disliked about children it was the fact that they cried and whined for attention. It was so annoying.

"Hey ya buddy, where does it hurt?" Cain blinked a few times while he looked at me. I gave the child a friendly smile hoping he would shut up. But instead he just cried louder.

"Calm down little man." I sat down on Al's bed and began to rock the child back and forth in my arms while whispering soothing words into his ear. Kids were so stubborn when they wanted their share of love. After some minutes passed Cain began to calm down. Once he seemed compose enough, I tried to communicate with him again. "Do you still hurt?"

Cain shook his head as he pushed himself off my lap. He sat back down and began to play with one of Al's toy trucks. Man, Cain was one weird ass five year old.

I turned my attention to Al who was looking at me strangely. I cleared my throat, not sure what to think of the look he was shooting at me. "What are you guys up to?"

Al shrugged his shoulders as his gaze turned to the toy truck that was in his hand. "Cain just wanted to play trucks. So we're playing trucks." Don't you miss the days when the simplest products captured you? Only if a toy truck could give me that type of entertainment again, it would put some life back into me.

"I see. Is it cool if I hang out with you guys? Things are getting pretty boring downstairs." Al didn't even look up at me. His voice came out almost totally flat. "Do what you want. I don't care."

I sighed as I sat on the floor with the two boys. Al always had his mood swings so this was probably just another one. I picked up a blue truck and began to drive around the imaginary city.

* * *

Winry and I walked down the dusty path heading our way home. It was a chilly morning so both of us were dressed warmly. Today was the day of Al's party. A day I had waited a long time for. I was going to give him a present that I had been planning for a long time to give him.

"Al's going to really like your gift Ed." I sighed as I shifted the cage in my hands. "He better, he's always wanted one. Well at least when he was still, you know." No one really seemed to want to be reminded of Al's armored days. The only time I ever brought up the subject was when I told Al stories of the past. Other than that it was sorta like an unspoken rule of silence.

"Trust me, he will love it. Two years ago he tried his hardest to convince Granny to get him one, but Granny didn't think he was responsible enough to take care of it on his own mainly because he was always studying with Izumi. And also, there is the problem of Den."

"Den is getting old, so I doubt he'll bother her." Den was reaching his doggy year limits. It's sad considering the dog had grown up with us. When Den die's, it was going to be hard on everybody.

"How are you going to hide her? I mean, you can't wrap her in a box or anything." I smirked as I looked at Winry. Oh yes, I had a plan.

"I'm going to keep her in the basement till the party starts. Once Al is distracted I'm going to sneak her in his bedroom." I really wanted to surprise Al. I knew this was something he had always wanted. Heck, I've always wanted a pet myself. But our mother would have never allowed it. And during the military days there just wasn't enough time.

The kitten began to cry which caused us both to stop our walking. Winry and I looked into the small cage to see what was wrong. The kitten was just crying for attention like all babies. Winry grabbed the handle of the cage and opened it so the small creature could crawl into her arms. The kitten was black and brown with fluffy fur. The pet shop owner said it was a mancoon or something along those lines.

The cat used its tiny pawls to swat at Winry's hair as she teased the cat with her long golden locks. I looked at the kitten with awe. If Al didn't want the cat, I would be more than willing to take it.

"Don't you just love baby's Ed?" I groaned at Winry's question. What a feminine question to ask. "I suppose so. But they cry way too much." Winry smirked at me as she petted the fluffy creature causing the kitten to purr loudly. "When you were a kid you cried just as much. Actually, I think I remember some of the things you use to cry over." She wiggled an eyebrow at me which only caused me to sneer.

"Yea, so what? If I made a list of all the things you would whine and cry about I would be able to write a book. You were the biggest cry baby of them all. Heck, you still constantly cried all they way up to your late teens." Winry's mouth fell open. Heh, guess you don't make fun of a women and her tears.

"At least I cried over mature situations. You cried over being forced to drink milk! How pathetic is that? And your height… Oh, don't get me started on that one. You cried about your height all the way up till your 16th year. Probably even beyond that."

I could feel my eye twitching. You never brought up my childhood height deficiency if you valued your life.

"Winry Sara Rockbell! How dare you! I am going to tak…" I was cut off by a loud cry from the kitten. Either the cat had a mild clue that we were bickering or it just wanted more attention. I was going for the later.

I sighed as I looked at the furry creature. Winry and I always argued over the dumbest things.

I ran my metal fingers through the cats fluff. "We better hurry back. She probably wants fed." I looked up at the graying sky. "Besides, I think it's going to rain soon."

Winry gave the cat one final pat before she placed her back into her cage. I picked up the cage so we could continue on our way.

Pssh, I never criedover my height.

* * *

It was evening and the rain fell freely from the sky. There was a constant dual patter sound being created by the continual smack of the falling particles of liquid against the house. Haha, I loved being a scientist. Anyways, it was a fantastic day for a birthday party. Right.

Not too long ago I had snuck the kitten into Al's room. Soon he would find my present. Oh boy, I was getting all anxious.

I sat in the corner of the room away from all the festive. As much as I loved my brother, I preferred to stay away from the swooning females. I actually felt bad for the kid. Having five women attack you all at once was a rather frightening thing. Cain sat promptly on my lap playing with my long braid. The kid really could get off on anything.

"Ed, come over here. Al's about to blow out the candles." Izumi narrowed her eyes at me, threatening me to challenge her. Oh how scary that would be.

"I'm coming. Why would I miss the birthday boy blowing out his candles?" I pulled my precious braid out of Cain's tight grasp then threw the child over my shoulders. Cain began to bang on my head while manically laughing. The kid didn't talk much but he was rather abusive and scary... that's not always a good combination.

We all sang the oh-so-great oh-so-stupid birthday song to Al and watched him blow out his candles. We then did the retard-o clap to congratulate him for achieving the impossible. He blew out all the candles! Ok, so deep down I knew it was to congratulate him on turning 14, but the ritual was still dumb.

Al only frowned at the cake as everyone cheered him on.

Al had been really frustrating me lately. The last few days he had been in nothing but a foul mood. I had approached him once asking him if something was up, but he assured me he was fine. But even today, on his birthday, his mood hadn't changed. He was still the same depressed wilder-beast. I was getting worried.

Winry wrapped her arms around Al's shoulders. "Congratulations Al! Your fourteen, how does it feel?" Al simply shrugged while staring blankly at his iced cake.

I reached out and ruffled Al's hair hoping to perk his mood. "Yea, you're an old geezer like the rest of us. How does it feel?" Al just swat my hand away saying nothing. The room fell silent for a moment as everyone watched him. I frowned as I looked at him. It didn't make sense. Why would he be upset on his birthday?

Rose looked at all of us before she spoke. "How about we cut the cake. I'll get the plates. Granny Pinako, can you please get the knife?" The room began to buzz to life again.

I ignored everyone else and watched Al. His gaze just seemed void of emotion as he stared at his cake. I carefully pulled Cain off my shoulders, who gave a whining protest, and pulled out the empty chair that was next to Al.

"Hey bud, is there something wrong?" I tried to make my voice gentle. I wasn't really sure how to handle the situation. Al mumbled something under his breath but it was too quiet for me to understand.

"Al, can you speak up? You aren't pronouncing your words correctly."

That did it. That set him off. Al slammed his fists onto the table. The room fell silent again. I stared at his outburst in surprise.

"Wow, calm down Al. I didn't think you would get offended by that." I tried to grab Al's shoulder, but he roughly pushed me away, rougher than I had ever seen him be in my entire life. My stomach began to twist in a uncomfortable knot. "What's wrong with you?"

Al looked at me. The look was so piercing it froze me to my seat. There was no friendliness in his eyes this time. No, this time there was a look of hate. Hate so deep that it chilled me to the bone. It was a look I would have never imagined on my brothers features. That cold hearted look I never thought I would ever see.

"Al?"

"Shut up."

I swallowed hard. My brother never used negative speech. It just made the words sting more.

"Al, what the hell is wrong with you?" My brother quickly stood up, causing the chair to screech against the wooden floor. That was gonna leave some marks.

"I don't want to talk to you." My brother turned to leave but I grabbed him by the shoulder. There was no way in hell I was going to allow him to go. If he wanted to start something with me, than he had to finish it.

"What are you so moody about?" I tried to keep my voice calm. If I kept calm then most likely this could be resolved a lot quicker. Besides, I didn't want to put a show on for the lovely audience that was surrounding us.

Al grabbed my hand that was on his shoulder and threw it off. He was really starting to tick me off.

"I don't want you to touch me. Leave me alone!" His voice was harsh. This was so un-Al like it was freaking me out.

"I won't. I am your older brother. Now tell me what this is all about."

Al faced me with his eyes blaring. His eyes caused me to take a step back, and that was saying a lot.

His words came out cold. "This is your fault. Your entire fault."

I had a sinking feeling of what he was talking about. I wanted to run, hide… block out all of his words. But they were words I had to hear. I had to hear them because they were coming from Al.

"This isn't supposed to be my fourteenth birthday, I should be turning nineteen. Nineteen! Now leave me alone."

I tried to think of something to say. There were no comforting words I could think of. He was telling the truth and I knew it. "Al, please. I know it's not fair, but it's just the way things worked out."

My brother pushed me. He actually pushed me! I am sorry but you would think the kid would have a little bit more common sense. I wasn't stupid; if I wanted to I could beat the crap out of him. When he was still in armor yes, I could never beat him. But in flesh and bone I had the advantage.

My voice was deep and commanding. A tone my father used to use. "Al, stop."

"Why? It's always your way. YOU ALWAYS GET YOUR WAY!" I looked at him confused. If I had it my way the world defiantly would be a lot different.

My brother turned to leave but I grabbed him by the wrists so he couldn't walk away. He fought against my brace. I tightened my hold around him, not enough to really hurt him though. I looked him directly in the eye. "If it was my way, you wouldn't be fourteen."

"Al, Ed's only telling the truth. This was never planned." I turned my head and gave Winry a nod of thanks, but miraculously during that exchange Al was able to get his wrists out of my grasp.

"It's all your fault. You and your stupid idea to bring mother back! I should have never gone along with it. Because of you I remember nothing! Go to hell Edward. We aren't brothers anymore. The brother I had was only a year older than me and was a lot better than you will ever be." Just to add some more emphasis Al punched me across the face. For a little booger he had one hell of a punch.

I just stood there in shock as Al ran out of the room and up to his bedroom. His bedroom door gave a loud smack as he slammed it shut.

I had a couple of options. I could run after him and try to talk things out, I could go to a deep dark hole and cry, or I could stand up and pretend like nothing happened. Pretending like nothing happened sounded best. But it was absolutely impossible to do because Al had just said something I dreaded hearing since the day I returned.

I jumped in surprise as Winry grabbed my arm. I forgot other people were in the room. "Edward, are you ok?"

I blinked a few times not really sure what to say to her. I wasn't really upset. I felt just kinda blank. "Ed, Al's in his teens. You know how emotional it can be for a teenager."

I gently pulled Winry's hand off my arm and just walked away. I didn't really have any direction in mind. No one tried to stop me as I opened the front door and walked into the rain. The cold water fell down on me, reminding me of my existence. It felt kinda nice.

I just kept walking with no place to go.

* * *

The liquor bottle was held loosely in my grasp. The rain had stopped awhile ago leaving a damp residue all over the grassy lands. The smell of rain still lingered in the air.

I took another sip of the alcoholic substance that was beginning to lose its taste. I still had a long way to go before I finished the bottle completely. But that's ok because I had no place to go that night.

The sky was clear and showed the millions of bright stars that danced in the sky. The moon was in its waxing gibbous stage, tomorrow to be a full moon. The moon gave some light to the deep dark cold world that surrounded me. But just not enough to lift my dampened mood.

I swallowed more of the alcohol willing the effects of it to take over my body. When you are drunk you can't really think right. Its sorta like reality is at your finger tips but the drug causes you to not be able to reach it. When you're drunk, you don't have to care anymore.

I wanted to be drunk. Then the world would feel good, even if just for a night.

I took a cautious look around the area I was laying in. Most of the old chard wreckage had become fertilizer for the grass, but there were still a few wooden beams that remained of our old house.

Where I was laying use to be the living room. A room that me and Al use to constantly play in. I smirked at the memories that ran through my head.

A sob tore its way through my throat. I had really fucked up this time. And I didn't just screw myself; I screwed all of those who I cared most for.

I heard some footsteps coming from behind me. I ignored them as I took another sip from the bottle.

"Edward?"

I rolled my eyes up to find Izumi standing behind me.

"Yea?"

Izumi took a sniff of the air. Her eyes narrowed at me. Usually I would be scared by the look she was giving me, but at the moment I just didn't care. "Have you been drinking?" I shrugged as I sat up and lifted the bottle in the air for her to see.

"I see… Why don't you come back to the house?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to go to that hell. I didn't want to face the truth.

Izumi sighed as she took a seat next to me. "Your cloths are wet; you're going to get sick if you stay out here." I took another big gulp of the little drug in the bottle.

"I don't care."

"You should care. Your health is something important." I laughed at her comment. I don't know why I did, I just did. Maybe I was starting to get the effects of the devils drink.

Izumi just lifted an eyebrow at my hysterics. She waited patiently for my laughter to calm down before she continued on. "Winry was able to talk to Al. Ed; he really didn't mean anything he said. The reality that your different now is just beginning to wear on him. You're older. He wants to be able to communicate with you the same way he use to be able to."

I closed my eyes while taking another drink. Oh god did I just want to get drunk. "I have been trying to be the same brother I use to be. How the hell am I suppose to make the kid happy? Things have changed and I can't turn back time. And.." I took a big breath. I didn't want to say these worlds. "..it was all my fault."

I felt a single tear run down my cheek. I wiped it away before Izumi could notice. I was beginning to hate life. Everything about it. "It wasn't your entire fault. Alphonse made the choice to go along with you when you two decided to transmute your mother. He just doesn't want to admit it to himself."

Izumi grabbed the liquor bottle out of my hands. She took a big sip of the substance herself. My eyes opened wide, I never thought her to be the drinking type. Then again, most people wouldn't think I was either.

"It was my idea. I was the older brother and Al looked up to me then. I should have been more responsible."

Izumi smirked at me. "You guys were kids. Look, if you keep regretting everything you won't be able to move on with your lives. I am not happy with my actions when it comes to my own son, but I don't regret it. I was ignorant those days." Izumi talking about Wrath was something so rare. It was a painful subject to her.

….she didn't regret trying to transmute her son.

"We toyed with people's lives. We toyed with our own. How can you say you don't regret it?"

Izumi handed me the bottle back. She ran her hand through her hair before she spoke. Her voice had a ting of sadness to it. "You are correct; I did play with another's life. But, at the time, I didn't know that then. I truly never thought of the consequences. I can't blame myself forever for what I did. I can't regret the fact that I loved my son that much, that I wanted him back. The love I had for him was so real, so precious to me. When I lost him, I lost a piece of myself. How can I regret loving my son and the actions I took with that love?"

I took another swing of the alcohol. There was a warm feeling spreading throughout my body from the liquor. "I think I see what you're saying, but I'm not sure if I can agree with it. I suppose you're right though… I do have to keep moving forward. Someway, somehow."

Izumi smiled.

We sat there for a long time. Enjoying each others company while drinking the night away.

* * *

It was early in the morning as I felt myself being shaken. My eyes cautiously crept open, my head hurt like hell.

"Wha.."

My brother was standing on the side of the bed. I quickly looked at the clock behind me; it was only six in the morning.

"Yes?" My voice was groggily.

Al sat on the bed, nervously twirling his thumbs. "I came to say I'm sorry."

The world clicked into place as the past days events flowed through me. God damnit, I had only gotten three hours of sleep and I had a slight hang over. Damn the world.

I sat up slowly so my head wouldn't spin. I pulled the blankets away from my body so I could get some cold air to circulate through.

Al only sat there twirling his thumbs away. I didn't really want Al to be sorry because there wasn't anything to be sorry about. How could I be mad at a kid who was in his situation? His life didn't have much fairness to it. "It's ok."

"I shouldn't have said those things."

I ran my hand through my hair, feeling the greasy locks.. Note to self, get a shower first thing.. later in the morning. "Really, it's ok. You are entitled to speak what's on your mind. I just want to know, is what you said truly how you feel?"

Al glanced at me for a moment then his eyes went downcast. "My birthday reminded me of the age gap between us. It was then I noticed how much you have changed. You will always be my brother, but it's just different now. I'm… I'm not sure how I really feel about everything. "

I sighed as I pulled Al into the bed so he could lay next to me. I was sleep deprived and my head felt like it might crack in two. What a great time to have an important conversation. "Do you hate how different it is now?"

Al pulled the blankets up around himself so he was warmer. "No, it's just weird. One day you were 11, now you are 20. Your all mature now." …. mature..

…mature..

Al thought I was mature… Cool!

"I miss having someone to play with. And I miss us being able to go to Winrys house, and her wanting to play with us too. But most of all I miss mom. Ed, we should have never brought her back."

I knew deep down he was right. But what Izumi had said last night.. well more like earlier that morning, was slowly beginning to make more sense. When I was younger I truly was ignorant. I had missed my mother so much that I wanted her back. I would have done anything to get her back. And I did. All because I loved her that much. That didn't make what we did right, but I can't change the past. It's just how things worked out.

"Do you miss dad too?"

Al looked at me curiously. I knew it was a spontaneous question but it was still important.

"Yes, I think I do. But I'm not sure. I don't really know him." I wanted to correct him and say 'didn't', but I held back. I needed a clearer head before I got into that subject.

My eyes felt heavy as I looked at Al. I could feel my body yelling at me to return to sleep. Must.. obey.. "Tomorrow we need to talk. But right now, I need some sleep and I'm sure you need some too."

A moment of silence fell across the room, but it didn't take long for the heavenly sound to be broken by Al.

"Ed.."

"Yea."

"Thanks for the cat."

"No problem."

"Ed."

"Huh?"

"You smell bad." I took a cautious whiff of myself.. Well geez louise, he was right.

"…. yea, thanks."

* * *

The sun teased us with its brightness as Al and I sat in front of our mother's grave. We both had our dress shirts and pants on. In away, I guess you could say Al and I were having a funeral.

"Envy was our brother?"

"He was our half brother."

Al had his knees to his chest as he sat on the ground. The bright sun had dried up all the rain so the ground was safe to sit on. Al stared at our mother's grave while deep in thought. If only I knew what was going on his mind.

"I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry it's taken me so long."

Al ran his hand over the grass in front of the gravestone. He was dealing with our father's death a lot better than I did. But then again our father left when he was still just an infant.

"I'm happy you buried dad with mom. It seems right somehow."

"It's only my prosthetics. Granny and I buried them the night I first came. Dad had made them for me, it was the only physical memory I had left of him." For the first time I actually felt fine talking about my fathers passing. It was rather nice to get it all off my chest.

I had told Al everything. Well at least a summery of it all. It was going to take a life time to tell him everything. But we had a life time to talk. That's what was most important. In the end, Al and I still had each other.

Al's eyes had a shine to them from unshed tears. I wrapped my arms around him in a comforting manner. His voice was soft as he spoke. "I'm not sure how I should feel about losing dad. I never got to meet him. Well, at least from what I remember."

"If you feel no tears for dad, don't feel guilty. As long as you understand that dad loved you, I guess that's only what matters." Al nodded as he ran his hand over the engravings of our mother's grave. Trisha Elric. I never noticed how lovely our mothers name sounded.

"Ed, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I'm happy you were able to tell me all this and I'm happy you don't hate me." I laughed as I pulled Al into a standing position. It was getting late in the day and we needed to get back before dinner.

"I could never hate you, you're my little brother. Besides, Izumi and I had a talk last night. She helped make sense of some things." Al brushed off the dirt on his pants. "Izumi did?"

I nodded. "Yup, surprisingly she isn't just useful for Alchemy."

Al pushed me playfully. "Yea, same thing goes for you."

I grabbed Al and threw him over my left shoulder. "U-huh, sure. Maybe the same goes for you too."

My brother smacked me on my back. "Edward! Put me down."

"I don't think so. Come on, were going home."

* * *

"So what do you plan to name her?"

My brother entertained his new kitten with a piece of yarn while everyone else watched in awe. The kitten tried to bite the string but Al pulled it away too quickly. He looked at me with a smirk on his face. "Mr. Jenkins."

I lifted an eyebrow. Please don't tell me my brother didn't know the difference between sexes. "Al, it's a girl."

My brother shrugged as he picked the cat up and began to pet her. "I just like the name."

"Yea Ed, he likes the name. There's nothing wrong with that." I stuck my tongue out at Winry as I sat back in my seat. "So Sheshka left earlier? Sorry I couldn't wave her off."

Winry shook her head as she took a cookie from the cookie plate. "It's fine. She couldn't stay long because according to her Centrals been a mad house lately. She had to use some of her sick days just to come out and see us." I frowned at that. I had hoped to talk to Sheshka about Central, but the opportunity had never come up. All I could hope was everything was ok.

I looked at Izumi and Rose. "How about you guys, how long do you plan to stay?"

Izumi rubbed her chin while she thought. "Most likely tomorrow I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. I should return to the butcher shop. You can never trust my husband and Mason alone." Heh, she had that right. Mason and Izumi's hubby were two irresponsible adults. Man, they were always so fun to hang out with.

Rose was holding Cain on her lap. Her son was consumed in a child's book. A child's book was a lot safer than my hair, which had become Cain's main fascination. "I will be here for the rest of this week. Our train doesn't leave till Friday." Wahoo! Guests all week. I liked visitors.

"That sounds good." I stretched my arms to get some feeling back in them. I was in the mood to go for a walk later that night. I always loved taking walks late at night especially when the full moon was out, which it was tonight. To me the world had a special glow when it was a full moon.

Winry stood and began to collect the cups and plates from around the room. I picked up my own cup and plate and handed it to her, but the cup lost its balance and fell. It shattered as it hit the hard wood floor. "Crap, I'm sorry." Figures, I liked the cup too.

Winry sighed as she shook her head. "Don't worry about it, I'll clean it. Can you do me a favor and take the rest of the stuff into the kitchen?" I nodded as I collected the dishes from Winry's hands. I hated it when I got clumsy. Izumi and Granny began to help Winry pick up all the sharp glass pieces as I headed into the kitchen.

The kitchen was dark so I used my back to flip the light switch to give the kitchen more light. As I placed the dishes in the sink, I made sure to be careful. Last thing I needed was another broken dish.

I was placing the last cup into the sink when a flash of light from outside the window caught my eye. I looked out the window but I didn't see anything. Most likely it was a shooting star or something.

I turned to leave when suddenly a loud booming sound rang into my ears. The sound was almost ear deafening. By natural instinct, I turned back to look out the window. My eyes opened wide.

The Rockbells house was on top of a rather large hill. From the kitchen window, you could see the landscapes that were below. I watched as the landscapes below began to dance with orange and yellow flames. Another loud explosion occurred. It caused even more of the colorful flames to spread across the grassy lands of Rizenpool. I had to blink a few times to make sure I was seeing right. Yup, I was.

"Oh God."

I took a step back causing a plate to fall from the sink. It fell and smashed into a thousand pieces.

Winry threw open the kitchen door. Her actions caused me to jump and spin around so I was facing her. "Ed, what's going on?"

I could only stare wide eyed at her. My voice began to quiver. "Oh God."

Another loud crash shook throughout the valleys below. I knew what was causing the noises. Oh god, I wish I didn't. But I knew.

"Winry.. Run."

Winry looked at me curiously. "What do you mean?"

I grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and dragged her into the living room. Everyone in the room was looking around, not sure of what was going on. "Get into the basement, Now!"

Izumi stood up ready to say something, but whatever she was about to say was drowned out by another loud boom. The explosions were getting closer. The windows of the house began to shake.

"GET DOWNSTAIRS!"

They all gave in and followed my orders. Winry grabbed Al off the floor and directed everyone to the basement. I ended up being the tail of the line. Another loud explosion occurred, this time causing the whole house to shake.

I was about to shut the basement door when I noticed Den was still sitting across the room. I ran into the living room and grabbed him by the collar. I practically dragged the mutt into the basemen before I slammed the door and locked it.

Well this was going to ruin my plans for the night.

Granny lit one of the oil lamps to give the basement some light. In my head all I could think was: This couldn't be happening. How could this be happening.

But the reality was, it was happening. And I knew damn well that I shouldn't have been surprised.

The loud booming noises just continued. Because the basement was underground it helped dull out some of the noise, but the house above us continued to vibrate violently.

Izumi grabbed the collar of my shirt and threw me up against the cement wall. "What the hell is going on?"

I blinked a few times. That really hurt. "I don't know." I took my shirt out of her hands as I pushed past her. "I don't really know. All I know is the sounds you are hearing are being caused by explosives."

Cain began to cry. I guess everything was starting to click in for him. Everyone else in the room just looked at each other, not sure what to say. Al looked at me. "What do you mean explosives?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I sat down in one of the corners of the room. Must stay calm, if you stay calm then you have a clearer head.

It was then I began to hear the sounds of gun shots. Faintly I thought I could hear people screaming, but I didn't really want to listen. I didn't want to think of the possibilities of what was going on outside.

If could put two and two together, it wasn't hard to figure out what was happening.

"Rizenpool is under attack."

My brother's mouth fell open. I doubt that's what he expected to hear.

Winry walked over and knelt in front of me. I could see fear in her eyes. I hated seeing fear in her eyes. Her voice had a distant feel to it. "Ed, what do you mean we're under attack? Who would attack us?"

"A country named Xing has been advancing on our borders for sometime now. They had political relations with Aerugo, it's most likely them." The room fell silent minus the constant cries coming from Cain.

I should have stayed in better contact with Roy. Then, possibly then, I would have had a better clue what was going on. I hated not really knowing what was happening around me. But then again, I wasn't going to be the first one to volunteer to go upstairs and find out.

A very loud, extremely close, sounding explosion went off. It felt too close for comfort. Al ran towards me with nothing but fear written all over him. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling him shake. Even though we had been through much worse, to this Al it was a first. He didn't remember all the horrible things we had seen in our days. In away, it felt kinda nice knowing that.

Winry moved over so she could sit next to me. She leaned heavily on me; I suppose thinking I could offer some comfort. I wanted to tell them both it was going to be ok. That everything was fine. But obviously everything wasn't fine. Something was very wrong and this time I couldn't fix it.

Al's kitten began to meow. I smiled at the small cat and began to pet her. As time passed some of the noises outside became fainter. I wasn't sure how long I petted the cat, but somehow it made time seem to move faster. In some strange way, the kittens purring sounds soothed me.

After some time passed all the noises outside stopped. Everyone in the basement was silent. Somehow Rose had gotten Cain to stop crying.

Winry spoke quietly into my ear. "Do you think it's over?"

I shrugged. Did I think it was over? I would have loved to say yes, but that would just be asking for it. The eye of the storm was always the most calm.

I gently pushed my brother off of me so I could stand. Everyone looked at me as I moved up the basement stairs. Was it ok? Was it all over? Only way to know was to find out.

"Ed, where are you going?"

I looked back at Rose. She held her young child close to her, holding him like this might be the last time they were going to be together. I swallowed hard. "Don't worry I'm just goin.."

There was a loud squeaky noise coming from upstairs. Shit.

Everyone's eyes turned to the ceiling of the basement. There was another loud squeaky noise, and then another. The stairs, someone was going up the stairs to the bedrooms.

"Ed, get back down here. Someone's in the house!" Well that was stating the obvious. Izumi was walking towards me but I motioned for her to stop and stay quiet.

Right then dust began to fall from the basement ceiling beams, oh god. A creaking sound just confirmed that someone was in the room right above us. The living room.. and they were walking towards the basement door.

I did the only thing I could think to do. I clapped my hands together feeling the power of alchemy occur.

The knob of the basement door slowly began to turn from the other side.

* * *

Authors Notes:

FINALLY! TO THE REAL STORY!

I honestly want to thank all those who have been committed readers up until now. This is when my writing starts to get fun and we break off from the ordinary and get to the extraordinary. I know it took me seven chapters to get to this point, but hell! 7 is my lucky number. No more large time jumps, no more of me pulling stuff out of my butt. AHAHAH LIFE FEELS GREAT!

Next chapter I'm going to be evil.

Thanks!

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* * *

Questions you might have... **

1. Comments on the birthdays.

Some people might not like this, but I was running out of options. In the series I was left with the impression that Ed's B-day was either in autumn or spring (I would say more spring). BUT they never say when Al's birthday actually was. Half way through the series, Ep 24, Ed turned 16, but Al never seemed to turn 15. He didn't even turn 15 near the end of the series. This would give the impression that Al was actually two years younger than Ed (which everyone knows they are supposed to be one year apart). Well because the whole birthday thing is confusing throughout the series I decided to give Al a stated birthday even though really it's going to be incorrect. Ed's birthday I decided will be in the end of autumn, and Al's will be in the beginning of spring. There is a four month gap between their birthdays.

2. Al's sudden change of opinions on Ed.

When your at that age you are very emotional. Trust me, looking back I wonder how I am the same person I am today. Ed in my opinion has been trying very hard to be a kick ass brother, but of course our poor little Al is going to have some problems with it. It's what being a teenager is all about! Oh Ed, if worst comes to worst, I'll dress up as Al so I could be your little brother.. and sleep with you at night.

3. Ed getting drunk.

I suggest to no one that you turn to alcohol when you're in a bad mood. Not very healthy.I wrote this because I feltEd is at the age (we will say drinking age is 18 in Amestris)when drinking is common and considering his mood... I still say you don't want to be an emotional drunk . I horribly embarrassed myself last time I did that.

By the way, Izumi kicks major ass. Between her and Granny, I think they would make great drinking partners. (DON'T DRINK)

4. Al apologizing to Ed at 6 in the morning!

In Africa (I know for a fact it occurs in Liberia, not sure about the rest of the continent) it is customary to apologize to someone at like the break of dawn (I would say usually at like 5, but I had pity for poor Ed so I made it 6). It shows that person how sorry you truly are and also I believe they think your spirit is clean/enlightened at that time (this is all according to one of my professors). Well I thought the whole practice was pretty interesting and clever. So.. I added it.

5. Al's Cat

I have a mancoon and his name is Mr. Jenkins . (brown and black fluffy hair too). He's a major pain in the butt but I like him. I made Al's cat a girl because Den was a boy so I felt it necessary... Even though sometimes I wish men would dominate the world and leave me as the soul female survivor… Ok, maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea.

**6. Cain**

I don't know about you... but I think I made Cain pretty freaky. Opps.

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* * *

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**SoulOmenspride- **Like I said, you can pretend Ed is named after Edgardo. After I decided on Edgardo being the name I was like 'Oh hey, sounds like Ed.' I don't ever plan to really get into who Ed is named after, so set your imagination free!

**SamuraiSirius-** Lol I had a blast writing the gold fish game. I love card games too, I just become very abusive during them. Happy you enjoyed it.

**Sorceress-fox-** I can see where your coming from thinking I've been slacking off. But truth be told the very first few chapters were written way before I decided to post them on fanfic. When I first started the fic I sat down one day trying to see if I could get the fic to work. After writing like the third chapter I realized I could actually do this. So that's why those were like a day apart. Now, why its taking me so long to write my other chapters.. It's because, you must consider, I am writing up to ten-fifteen pages. Now also considering I am a college student and nearing finals, I don't have a lot of free time to write all day (as much as I wish I did). And then there is the fact that some days I do get writer blocks. Once May comes around (If I'm not done with the story by then) I am positive the chapters will be coming out a lot quicker! Sorry about the shortness of the last chapter. I put that together in one day, feeling the need to give some story line to the four passing months. I hope this chapter made up for it.. If not I am pretty positive the next one will (I have been waiting a very long time to write chapter 8. Ohh so long). I hope this cleared some things up.

**Lara Inside-** Yea, Ed is Ed but not Ed at the same time. A lot deals with growing up in my opinion. I mean, in away I think I might have made Ed a little bit more humorous than he should be, but I don't know.. Makes him more fun to write. Lol yea, you gotta love the card games. Stubborn little punk. Thanks for the review!


	8. Rain of Blood

FMA SUCKS! Hahahaha.. Ha. Ok so it's totally awesome. But, I still don't own it.

Be prepared for some yucky parts ahead and some swearing.

* * *

Held

By The Gomp

I clapped my hands together feeling the power of alchemy take place. It was like static electricity running between my fingers tips. The feeling was so familiar to me, even though it had been almost four years since I last experienced it. My mind began to go into scientific mode. Masses, molecules, particles, atoms, composition, decompositions… the list could go on.

I watched as the knob of the door started to turn. I could feel a bead of sweat drip down the side of my face. It didn't take long for the occupant on the other side to realize the door was locked. They started to jiggle the handle and I could hear them mumbling. They defiantly weren't speaking English and it wasn't the German language of the Aerugon people like I had expected.

Deep down I had hoped it was someone on our side, an Amestris here to help us. Figures, my luck wasn't that good. Whoever it was, was defiantly an enemy. And most likely they were there to kill us.

Now, if there was one thing I had learned throughout my experience in the military, it was this. The best method of attack was by a surprise assault. Catch your opponent off guard; it will give you the upper hand.

Why was I always left to do the dirty jobs.

I swallowed hard as I reached for the door handle. I shut my eyes praying what I was doing was right and not just totally stupid.

My hand stopped its movements when I heard a loud 'clank' sound against the door. It sounded like metal to metal. Most likely the man was trying to break the door handle with the butt of a gun. I wouldn't let him.

My mind suddenly went clear as I flung the door open. I was already prepared for the gun to be aimed at me. I grabbed the barrel of the gun with my right hand and decomposed the composition of the metal with my alchemy, turning it into a piece of scrap. The mans eyes went wide as I threw the remains of his gun to the side. Oh yes, I was the Fullmetal Alchemist. Don't ever underestimate me.

My movements were quick as I grabbed the man by the throat and lifted him into the air. The man desperately clawed at my metal fingers to try and loosen my grip, but his attempts were in vain.

I examined the man closely. I had never seen anyone like him before except for in books. His black beady eyes were slanted and his hair was as black as night. Between choked gasps the man spoke in a tongue I was not familiar with. He was a Xingen; there was no doubt about it.

I pulled my arm back and threw him as hard as I could. The man literally flew across the room. Pretty impressive considering it had been a long time since I last worked out.

"Izumi, I know you can hear me. Seal the door with your alchemy and don't let anyone out." My words were cold and demanding. They weren't the words of Edward Elric. They were the words of Fullmetal. A man that had once fought, killed, and conquered.

My feet padded loudly against the wooden floor. The Xing man only stared at me with horror. I felt no pity for him since I knew only a few moments prior he had been prepared to kill my friends and family.

I grabbed him roughly by the collar. "Who are you?"

The Xingen shook his head in sharp jerkish movements. I knew he had no clue what I was saying, but that didn't mean I was going to forgive him. I punched him across the face.

"Why are you here!" I almost screamed it in his face. He just kept shaking his head.

I picked the man up again and threw him to the couch. As much as I would love to beat thecrap out of him, I had more important things to do. I clapped my hands together feeling the power of alchemy consume me again. I placed my hands on the couch changing the particle format.

The couch consumed the mans body, only leaving out his head. It almost reminded me of a butterfly's cocoon. Pretty neat if you asked me.

He began to scream.

I rolled my eyes at the man. Come on, he should ofappreciated the fact I didn't kill him. I grabbed a pillow from another one of the chairs and used alchemy to create a guard that covered his mouth. His screams were drowned out by the cloth.

The man stared at me with something that seemed close to hatred. Ok, I suppose I would be pissed off too if I was in his position. I placed my hands on my hips as I looked down at him. "I'm not going to kill you. Just calm down and relax. Now, I am going to check outside to make sure there isn't anyone else in the neighborhood. I will say this to you though." My face moved closer to his. "If you try to do anything funny… Well, we will leave that to the imagination."

I knew me speaking to him was pointless. But I felt compelled to give him a warning. That way if he did try something funny I wouldn't feel totally guilty of my actions.

I walked across the living room and opened the front door. I was wrong when I said the firing and explosions had stopped. They had just moved farther up north.

Loud squeaky footsteps quickly stomped down the stairway which was directly behind me. The moment I turned I was greeted by full body weight being thrust at me. I automatically lost my balance and flew across the porch and rolled down the porch stairs. Well, that hurt like one mother fudger.

This Xingen was much bigger than the other. Shit. I had forgotten that there were two.

The man stood up. He was dressed all in black, even his face was covered. The only thing that confirmed he was human and not a dark shadow was the small space that revealed two dark beady eyes. They were slanted like the other mans were.

With a flick of his wrists two blades appeared from behind his back. Even though I was in a moment of crisis, there was one thing I had to say… That looked damn cool.

"Who are you?"

I looked at the man stupidly. I had no bloody clue what he just said. He narrowed his eyes at me and repeated himself. I could only look at him even more dumbfounded.

Obviously the man didn't like my silence as he took a swing at me with one of his blades, very sharp looking blades I must add. I barely dodged it.

He was fast. He was fast and I was years out of practice. This was not good.

The man took a quick swing at me again as I flung myself away. His swing was so powerful I could feel a small gust of wind coming from his blades path. This was not good at all.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I will not lose to someone like you." I clapped my hands together and then thrust them towards the ground. My mind reeled calculations, changing the lands mass composition.

The man lost his footing as the ground beneath him collapsed in. He fell right into the hole I had created.

Well, that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

I honestly just blinked. I blinked my eyes only once. The moment my eyes opened, the man was right in front of me. One of his blades smacked against my auto-mail arm. The pressure from the hit caused a searing pain to shoot down my right side. God damn it, he was strong. His eyes opened wide when he realized my arm wasn't flesh and bone. He couldn't cut through it.

I side kicked him with my left leg. He obviously wasn't expecting it as he fell heavily towards the ground. His fall gave me enough time to clap my hands and change my right arm into a long blade. I wasn't going to lose. I couldn't lose. No way I would lose.

The man was back on his feet in an instant.

"I will kill you."

Great, more jibber jabber I couldn't understand. He lifted his blades in the air and smacked them together. It looked almost like a ritual thing. Most likely it was a ritual the man did before he killed his prey. Just great.

I lifted my right arm towards him, beckoning for him to make his move. He ran towards me at full speed. Just don't blink. Keep eyes focus. Concentrate on his movements.

Both blades came at me together, but I stopped them with my right arm. My auto-mail was too strong to break. My new auto-mail was much stronger than the ones I had prior owned. The steal was lighter, more durable, and unbelievably tough as hell.

I turned my wrist to the right and pulled up. It gave me the effect I wanted. The long blade that was in the mans left hand flew behind him. The mans eyes followed it for a second. I used that second against him. With my left hand I punched him hard in the stomach.

The man took a few steps back. He grabbed his stomach rasping for breath.

Yay! I wasn't as rusty as I thought I was. I still got it. Wahoo!

The man recovered pretty quickly. He raised his blade high in the air.

The loud sound of gun shots grabbed both our attention. We looked down at the valley that was right below us. Bright flash's of yellow light specked the valley side almost everywhere as the gun shots resonated between the mountains. And guess who was fighting off the invaders? The Amestris military! It was about time.

The man turned back to face me. I was ready for him. I went into a fighting position

With one quick motion his blade was placed back into its sheath. He turned and began to run in the opposite direction of me.

Well, that wasn't what I was expecting. But I wasn't going to allow him to escape. I changed my auto-mail back to normal and I ran after him. Yup, run towards danger. Run boy, run!

He ran down the hillside, heading towards a small fixture of trees. I wasn't going to give him the ability to hide. I clapped my hands together and thrust them towards the ground.

The trees curled in together. The roots and branches wound tightly as if knitting a blanket. You could hear the haunting creeks and snaps of the wood as it turned into an unnatural position. I made the forest into a solid wall.

The man stopped right in front of the wall. I was only a few steps behind him so I jumped and flew right into him. His body made a loud smacking sound as it made contact with my creation.

I turned him around and just began to punch him. Trust me; I had almost a year of frustration to get out. It felt good. It felt so good I couldn't even stop myself. I just kept hitting and swinging with all my might.

With my final punch, I pulled my right arm as far back as it could go. I thrust ittowards his face. A sickening crack rang out and his mask was torn off as it got caught on my auto-mail. Shit.

The man was a bloody mess. I had to blink a few times to allow the realization that I had done this to him tosink in. He defiantly wasn't pretty to look at.

Amazingly enough the man was still conscious. He seemed in total shock as he tried to move his jaw. His jaw wouldn't work; it was stuck in an odd angle. That crack I had heard was the breaking of his jaw. Oh man did that have to hurt.

I got up off him and took a step back. I had never beaten anyone up with pleasure like that before..I didn't even think I could beat someone up like that. I took another step back. Blood was coming from his mouth, nose, forehead, cheeks.. everywhere.

The man cautiously pulled himself up into a standing position. He had to use the wall behind him for support. That man had guts. More guts than I could ever have.

His right hand went behind him and in an instant his blade was back. This guy could not be serious.

He took a step towards me, I took a step back. Blood dripped from his face. It was making me feel sick.

With his blade in the air, the Xing man ran towards me at full speed. Time slowed down from there. I stared wide eyed at the guy but at the same time I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Whatever this other thing was, it was coming at me fast. By instinct, I simply ducked.

Thank you God that I ducked.

Oh thank you.

A gust of strong wind quickly swept past me. I waited a few moments for the Xing mans blade to slice into me but nothing happened. Cautiously I took a look up. The Xing man wasn't there anymore.

I pulled myself back into a standing position. Wha.. He was there, now he'sgone.. Where did he go?

A sound like I had never heard before suddenly bellowed out into the night. A sound that wasn't human, wasn't natural, and didn't even seem possible, came from above me. I looked up to see where the sound was coming from.

I fell to the ground in utter shock.

Holymotherofpearlsnothumanlypossiblehowthehellpleasetellmethiswasnthappening

Directly above me a creature hovered in the air. But this wasn't a creature, more like a monster. I knew exactly what it was. But the question was… What was it made of?

Its wing's were stretched out wide as if on display and had a soft glow to them from the moon light. It's wings reminded me of bat wings, but big bat wings. Holypearls were they big. The body reminded me of a wolf with black and silver fur. One big ass wolf at that. Its mouth was huge and I was pretty sure it contained very sharp pointy teeth.

Just to add some effect to the whole scene above me, the animal roared again. The sound sent a shiver down my spine. The full moon glowed right behind the animal which gave it a surreal effect.

My mouth fell open.

"Chi.. mera" The haunting images of Nina danced in my mind.

This couldn't be happening... Right? It just couldn't be...

Well… I found the Xing man. He was right in the claws of the monster above me. The man began to make raspy sounds which I was pretty sure were suppose to be screams. His blade gleamed in the moonlight as he began to slice atthe chimera. The chimera screamed in protest and stopped the Xing mans actions completely.

In one swift motion the mans head was torn off and thrown carelessly to the ground. It landed a few feet away from me. I swallowed hard.

The chimera began to tear at the mans body. It tore off one of his arms and then ripped open the cavity of his chest.

I only sat there as the blood began to rain down on me. I closed my eyes for a moment pretending that what I was seeing was just a nightmare. A very gruesome one at that. But no, it wasn't. I opened my eyes and watched the chimera chew and tear at the mans insides.

My breath got caught in my throat as a big chunk of…something, fell right between my legs. It was most likely a piece of organ or bloody flesh.

Ohshit was this disgusting.

With my arms I pushed myself away from the chunk of man. I had to get away. But the moment I moved, another piece of something fell to my left. I swallowed back the puke threatening to spill.

More and more pieces began to fall from the sky. They fell all around me. Then, what I feared most happened. A nice little chunk of flesh landed right in my lap

If you want to talk about irony, I looked at what had landed on me. Ikid you not.. It was one of the man's fingers. And I was pretty positive it was the middle one. I wondered if the Xing man wanted to send me one last message.

This was going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

I began to gag. Eww, this is so sick!

Once I finally was able to compose myself, I grabbed the end of my pants and pulled them hard so the chunk of meat flew right off me. I closed my eyes again willing this to be one big joke. But it wasn't.They never were.

It took me a moment to realize all the nice little tearing and chewing sounds the chimera was making had stopped. Minus the sounds of gun fire in the distance, silence surrounded me.

I didn't want to look up. Holy mother of balloons, I did not want to look up.

But, of course, I did anyways.

The chimera's eyes shined asitlooked at me. More like stared at me. Blood dripped from its jaws. In it's claws was.. I couldn't even call the man human anymore. The Xing man was nothing more than a few scraps of meat. There was very little left of him and I had a feeling the chimera hadn't satisfied its hunger yet.

We stared at each other. I couldn't move. Its eyes were too piercing. My breathing was coming in quick gasps. Could this really be it? I had never faced anything like this one before.

But then again. Dante.. Pride, Gluttony, Lust, Wrath, Greed, Sloth… and Envy. I had faced them all some way, some how. And I fought them all for one purpose. So me and my brother could live.

Myloud clap rang throughout the valley. I could hear its echo resonate off the mountains that surrounded us.

I wasn't going to die. I refused to die. I stood up and changed my arm into a weapon of mass destruction. It was just pointless to make a simple blade.

My arm became aheavy duty gun with a caliber larger than I thought even possible.

Oh boy was Winry going to hate me for this one.

The chimera tossed the rest of its meal to the side. It landed with a loud thump right in front of me. I swallowed hard at the mess that was once a man.

I didn't want to become something like that. No way, no how.

I aimed my arm at the creature. I would not die here.

It was low, I barely even heard it. The sound was so subtle and quiet that I almost questioned if I was just hearing things in my head. But obviously, whatever the sound was, the chimera was tuned in for it. The chimera turned at the direction of the sound, it's ears lifting slightly. The sound reminded me of a whistle.

The chimera turned its head back at me, looking at me with its cold deadly eyes… And lifted its wings and flew away.

It just.. flew away.

Ha, it just.. flew away.

I returned my auto-mail back to normal.

My knees gave out as a sigh of pure relief escaped from between my lips.

…it just flew away.

* * *

The rest of the night was like one big blur. Somehow I made it back to the Rockbell's property barely holding onto my sanity. I surveyed the area to make sure there were no more surprises. All the gun fire had ceased and upon closer observation it seemed the Amestris Army had everything under control. It was only a matter of time before they would come to check up on the Rockbell house. And I was simply too tired and mentally exhausted to even care. 

I went back into the house and yelled to Izumi to let everyone out. I eyed the Xingen still trapped in the couch before I turned around and went to my bedroom. I was positive everyone was going to be surprised when they saw the Xing man. But there was nothing I could do about it. They were all simply going to have to wait until the military came and took him away.

I hurried up the stairs. I didn't want anyone to see me. I was covered in someone else's insides. Blood stained my shirt while I kept finding pieces of flesh stuck in my hair. When I reached my room I quickly undressed and threw my clothing out the window. I couldn't stand the stench of it anymore.

A few times people knocked at my door but I screamed at them to go away. Questions.. I didn't want to answer any questions.

I sat there in my boxers for awhile not sure what to do next. My mind was still trying to piece everything together. Why was a Chimera there? Was it just going for a midnight stroll or was it part of the Xing's Army? Originally the creature seemed to have been coming after me. Was it just an accident that the Xingen was picked up…

I looked at my hands that were still splattered with drying blood and other bodily fluids. I smelled so bad. I needed a shower and I needed it desperately.

There was no way anyone was going to be able to sleep that night. I wasn't going to be able to sneak past them to get outside to the shower. So, I took my only option. I opened the window and used my bed spread as a rope.

The water felt good against my skin. I don't know how long I sat there, but I desperately scrubbed myself clean. I was lucky that no one came out to check on me. I suppose they got the point that I just wanted to be alone. I needed to be alone because a million things were running through my head a mile a minute. My head was beginning to hurt.

It was a chimera. A bloody chimera.

Who had the power to create a chimera?

Tucker..

Oh shit.. The Xing had Tucker.

Tucker Tucker Tucker

When I was done I threw my clothing down the hill side and used my make shift rope to climb back into my room. I didn't get to sleep that night. The only thought that was on my mind was…

Shou Tucker.

* * *

Anytime someone asked me about what had happened, I just kept my mouth shut. I wasn't sure what to tell them. I was still confused over the whole thing myself. Was Shou Tucker really involved? 

Besides, I had more important things on my mind.

For one thing, the military was stationed all around Rizenpool. I had hoped Roy or Armstrong would have given me some inside scope on what was going on. But it was the third day and still no sign of either of them. I couldn't really go out searching for them considering I was considered dead. Last thing I needed was someone to recognize me. So all I could do was keep a low profile and hope one of them would surface.

And even worse than that.. the aftermath. Some were dead, many more injured… and the houses. Almost half of the residence of the Rizenpool community had their houses burned to the ground. You want to talk about heart wrenching. All these people were our neighbors and friends. To see them suffer so badly was simply too shocking for words.

All in all, the Rizenpool community was in mourning.

The Rockbell house became a shelter. Me and my brother shared a room with five other men. I didn't mind it though. I was happy the Rockbell's were helping out with the community.

Izumi, Rose, and Cain were sent home by the military the very next morning. It was better that way.

The Xingen that had become our couch had been quickly taken away by the military. I must say, the soldiers that took him were very surprised by the cocoon I made. It took me awhile to explain that one.

On the third day after the attack a knock came from the front door. I was upstairs in one of the rooms cleaning when Winry yelled at me to come down. A ray of hope beamed through me. Maybe Roy had come…

Oh it could be my lucky day.

Two Amestris soldiers greeted me. Both were in the bright blue suits I was so a keen to. Damn it! Not Roy.

The taller of the two spoke. "Sir, I have some questions for you."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Ok, shoot."

The soldier looked around the living room behind me. It looked like a community center. The room was jammed pack with people socializing.

"Can we take this outside?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I followed them. We walked down the porch steps and into the front yard. Both men suddenly stopped and turned. I wasn't prepared for their sudden movements and almost bumped right into them. But luckily I caught myself in time.

The taller man looked me up and down. "Sir, there have been rumors that alchemy was used on Sunday night by a resident of the Rockbell house. Do you know anything about this?"

I raised an eyebrow at his question. "Yes, I was the one who did."

"Are you aware that alchemy is illegal?"

I shrugged my shoulders not really getting where this was going. You would think with the current situation Rizenpool was in more important things would be on their minds. "Well yes, I am aware. But I used it purely out of self-defense. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Sir, you are under arrest for the illegal use of alchemy."

I blinked a few times. Who in their right mind…

"We have to ask you to come with us."

"You guys aren't serious, are you?" The Parliament really couldn't be that strict. I mean, self-defense. It wasn't like I used it for pleasure or anything.

The shorter of the two men spoke. "Sir, we are very serious. You have committed a serious crime. You will be prosecuted to the full extent." Ha, the full extent. What did that mean? Slapping a fine on my behind.

The front door creaked open. I looked back to find Winry standing there with her hand over her mouth. Great, I didn't need someone getting all upset. "Winry, get back in the house."

She took another step forward. "They can't do this."

I shook my head at her. Sure they could and they defiantly were planning to. "I told you to get back in the house. If I go with these guys without resistance then the quicker I can probably clear this misunderstanding up. Don't worry about it, just watch after Al for me."

I turned back to the two men who were looking at each others with smirks. I groaned at their smugness. I guess I was going on a road trip. "Where do you plan to take me?"

"To the Northern Headquarters. From there you will be questioned then sent to Central for your trial. A train will be departing soon." I smirked. Well maybe they were doing me a favor. I would be taken directly to Roy Mustang.

I held my hands out in front of me. The cold metal of the handcuffs slipped around my wrists. They clanked loudly against my auto-mail.

* * *

The train ride was a bore. Neither man spoke to me. The only thing I had going for me was the window. 

We arrived at Northern Headquarters three hours later. I was lead through the grand entrance of the military center. It was my first time being there. The building was rather extravagant but it was still nothing when compared to Central's.

As we walked around in the building, I felt like I was going through a maze as I followed the soldiers. There were just too many halls and too many turns.

People constantly turned to look at me as I walked by them. I highly doubt any of them recognized me.. Maybe they all thought I was just so cute to look at. Right.

Finally after a long trot I was lead to a dark hallway with a single door at the end. I swallowed hard as I began to walk down it.

The walls in the hallway were old with some water-stain. The hallway seemed out of place when compared to the white pristine walls I saw when I first walked in. When I approached the door one of the soldiers opened it for me and motioned for me to sit down on the lone chair that was in the room.

The room was fairly dark. The only source of light came from a dull light bulb that hung from the ceiling. There was nothing pretty or comforting about the room. It was rather small with cracked cement walls. The only items in the room were the small table in front of me and the chair I sat on. I bet you if I screamed no one would be able to hear me.

That wasn't a comforting thought.

The two solders looked very serious as they stood in opposite corners. I felt like I was in some interrogation room from hell or something. I placed my elbows on the old table and placed my chin in my hands. I was so freakin bored.

"Edward Rockbell, the First Lieutenant will be with you shortly." I looked at the shorter man. It was the first time either of them had spoken to me during our whole little trip together.

I snickered when he called me by my fake name. It sounded funny to the ear.

"Yea yea, great." All I wanted to do was just get this stupid thing over with as quickly as possible. I still had high hopes that I would be able to meet up with Roy. I had so many questions for him.

The door to the room opened with a loud squeaky noise. My fingers itched to oil the door hinges. Wouldn't it be great if they actually would have let me do it.

A voice came from the open door way.

"Sergeant?"

..her voice. The women walked in.

My eyes snapped to the woman who was now standing a few feet away from me. Her hair was longer and she also had lost some weight. She looked a little different, but there was no doubt about who she was. What a lucky man I truly was.

"Lieutenant Ross?"

Maria Ross turned to look at me. Her eyes narrowed. "That's First Lieutenant Ross." Great, she didn't recognize me. I sighed.

My curiosity perked at her statement. "When did your rank change?" It was an innocent question, but she didn't seem to like it. She walked towards the table slamming her papers down. My eyes opened wide from shock. Wow, either she was having a bad day or maybe her rank was going to her head.

"How dare you question me. You are in no position to question a military official." Oh boy was this great. I began to laugh at her outburst. In the old military days she would have never used that tone with me. I use to be a Major; I could have had her fired. The only time Ross every threatened me was when she used it in a motherly fashion.

Everyone in the room stared at me perplexed by my laughter. What? Come on, it was funny.

"Sir, please calm yourself. You are here with serious charges against you." I wiped the tears away from my eyes and just smirked at Ross. Did I really look that different? I suppose 4 years could really physically change someone.

"First Lieutenant Ross, how is Sergeant Bloch doing?" The women looked at me carefully. Her tone was uneasy. "He's doing fine. How do you know Lieutenant Bloch?" Man, everyone was climbing the ranks.

"Well, you guys did take care of me and my little brother for about a month's time years ago. Or have you forgotten?" The women seemed calm as she walked around the table and stood behind me. She touched my head and ran her hand along the back of my braid. Yes people, I know my braid is fascinating.

"Edward? No, impossible…"

I turned so I could look at her. She kept blinking at me; I guess she was thinking I wasn't real. She was rather amusing to watch.

"What do you mean impossible?"

Ross shook her head as she pulled her hand away from my hair. Her eyes became daring. "Edward Elric died almost four years ago. I knew him personally. There is no way you two are the same." Well obviously she didn't know me well enough. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Would you like me to remind you of the fifth laboratory? Oh, and what about Scar! Or how about the time you slapped me in the hospital… or what about my father being flirtatious with you when you went to the Rockbell house. I hope you know Sergeant Bloch was rather jealous that day."

Ross backed into the wall. One of the soldiers in the room began to walk towards her. "First Lieutenant…"

Her voice was cold and demanding. "Both of you, get out."

"But First Lieutenant."

"I said Get Out!"

Both men obeyed their superior officer. The door gave a loud 'click' as it was shut.

"You're dead."

I snickered at her statement.

"Well First Lieutenant, does it look like I'm dead? And how the hell did you get moved to Northern Headquarters? This place isn't very flattering."

First Lieutenant Ross walked back around the desk. She stared at me for a few moments before she leaned over and used one of her fingers to gently move some of my bangs away from my face. Ross always reminded me of a mother. Her fingers began to shake.

"Edward.. How? When?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "It doesn't matter. Now get me out of these cuffs and out of here." Ross's eyes went distant for a moment. She sighed heavily as she stood up straight. She then picked up the papers that were scattered on the desk and began to flip through them. After a few moments of searching she finally stopped at a piece of paper and pulled it out of the pile. She placed the paper in front of me.

"Your case has already been presented to the Parliament. Ed, why did you use alchemy?"

I picked the paper up and squinted so I could read the detailed writing. Damn I needed my glasses. The paper was the warrant for my arrest. That's just peachy. "I have already stated that I used alchemy in self-defense. How can they prosecute me in such terms?"

Ross plucked the paper out of my hands. "Edward, you have no choice but to go to trial in front of the Parliament. While you were waiting I was on the phone confirming your custody to Central. I'm sorry.. I didn't know. It never clicked that Edward Rockbell could be you. I'm so sorry." Wow, my trail was actually going on in front of the Parliament. What a honor. Gag me.

I groaned as I placed my head on the table. Well this was crap.

"Unless… what if I said it was a mistake. Or.. What if.."

I shook my head. "You will lose your job. I did use alchemy and I have already admitted to it. I'm sure my admittance has already been sent to the higher ups. This wasn't your fault. I should have been smarter. Besides, it's not that big of a deal. So what? I get a hefty fine. It might all be worth it if I can see Roy while I'm out there." It all sounded good to me.

"Edward, you're talking about years in jail. Alchemy is a serious crime no matter what the terms. And since you admitted to using it.. Well, that means its almost going to be almost impossible to defend your case." My eyes opened wide. Shit, these people were really serious. Was alchemy truly that bad? Crap, Crap, Crap

Ross slammed her hands on the desk which made me jump in shock. "Edward, why did you never tell us that you were alive! Many people have been mourning for you for years now. How could you not tell us?"

Ross's statement surprised me. Tears began to slip from her eyes. My mouth fall open as I watched her cry before me. I never knew she cared that much. "I'm sorry… I never meant to hurt anyone."

"I'm sure you didn't. You have no idea how relieved I am to see you alive. Where have you been all these years?" She used the back of her gloved hand to try and wipe some tears away. I could only stare at her.. She seriously was crying because of me. Ahh, females! You can't live with them and you can't live without them.

"I couldn't get back involved with the military. I went into hiding. I'm sorry Lieutenant Ross."

Her words came out slightly choked. "It's First Lieutenant." We both laughed at her correction. After wiping more tears away she walked back around the table and gave me a hug. I could only sit there helpless since I was still handcuffed.

Ross spoke quietly. "Edward, how can I help you?"

I sighed as I looked at the ground. "Inform General Mustang of what's going on."

* * *

Authors notes:

I apologize for all the cliffy's. I'll try to keep them down (would you consider this one a cliffy?). Just so everyone knows my updates **might **be a little slowed down for the coming weeks. I have a lot of papers to write and tests and presentations to prepare for. I am going to try my best though to keep my chapters coming out at a steady pace, but I can't guarantee anything (I am sorry but college is a little bit more important to me). BUT on the bright side I am heading towards summer break. And you know what that means.. Tee heh. We like updates! Yes we do!

**Special note:** SoulOmenspride was a great sport and helped me out with the whole fighting and chimera scene. I thank her very much for her comments and notes.

**

* * *

1. Xingen Chinese language. **

I can't speak Chinese. sigh I would have loved to do some Chinese speaking parts but I couldn't find a translator that would write Chinese in English words. They only wrote in Kanji. Now, if Ling was from Japan I would be set (I would make my Japanese Sensei so proud). But too bad he's not.

2. Aerugon people speak German?

I have always found it weird that Ed and his father would go to a country that spoke a language they couldn't understand (end of series). Sooo, since I decided to place Rizenpool along the borders of Aerugon (I have no clue where Rizenpool really is, I can't find any information anywhere), I figured it would make sense if the Aerugon people spoke German. That way Ed and his father had already been pre-exposed to German so when they came to our world they felt comfortable enough to live in Germany.

3. Inspiration for the chimera!

I came up with the whole Chimera scene while listening to E Nomine-Mitternacht. That's a great song so if you get the chance, please listen.

4. What's with the swearing and the 'Oh Gods'?

You know, I am surprise no one has brought this up. I actually hate cuss words (believe it or not). But for some strange reason I think they add some harsh character to the story. And also, Ed does some swearing in the series himself. Tee heh

Now onto the 'oh Gods' for a man that doesn't believe in a God. I actually do believe Ed does believe in God cause he does comment that 'God will not forgive him for his taboo'. I just think it's more like a universal God and not a specific religion.

* * *

**Sorceress-fox-** Lol, you always seem to be my most honest reviewer. I think that shows great character. I will try and not have so many cliffy's. I hope this was to your satisfaction.Liei-Thanks so much! Trust me; I have a lot more to write about. 

**Priestess kurumi inu's sister-** That's one heck of a penname you have. I like it. Anyways, Awesome! I love reviews and I am over joyed you like the serious. We will have to see though if Ed joins the Military. Thanks!

**Small Chemist-** I am happy you enjoy Ed's snide remarks. A lot of people feel it takes him out of character, which it sorta does. But heck, snide marks are so fun to have. Thanks for the review.SoulOmenspride- The main plot of the story defiantly is not about Ed getting back with his family (sorry if I'm disappointing anyone). Lol there is a lot more to the plot line then just that. Thanks again for your help!

**Mistress of Shadows-** I am noticing a lot of people don't like cliffys. Cliffy's actually usually make me like the story more, but because I can't update everyday I can see why. Well, I know the characters aren't exactly the same but it has been 3 years. And besides, if I wrote Ed the same exact way like everyone else did.. Where would the fun be? I will try my best not to stray to far from the characters though. Thanks for the review.

**Alere Venus- **Yea Cain is freaky. Reminds me of a future cereal killer. Thanks for the compliment on the card game. Yea, I lovecard gamesXD

**SiR MaGuS**- I almost missed this review XD Wahhahahha. I, of course, will follow your request.

**Faye Nee-chan-** Update like you wished.


	9. Epic

I plan to marry FMA. That way.. IT WILL BE MINE! But for the time being.. I don't own it.

* * *

**Held**

By The Gomp

My eyes turned to the palace before me. The trickery of heaven dancing before my eyes. The world was white with a light mist to it. The air had a faint scent of… blissfulness.

So beautiful, so peaceful.

The soft click of heals came from behind me. I didn't bother to turn.

"This is what you have been searching for, is it not?" Her voice.. It felt so soothing to the ear. My throat felt dry as I spoke.

"I… I don't know."

"Then is it me who you have come for?" A hand was placed on my shoulder. Its warmth radiated through my thin shirt.. I closed my eyes so I could savior the feel.

"I'm always watching." I felt her warm breath puff against my ear. It felt so real, so close.

"Are you really?"

Her fingers ran across my cheek. They were so soft and fragile. She turned my face towards her. My breath got caught as I saw her beauty. Saw her loveliness.

She began to play with a lock of my golden hair as she smiled softly at me.

I really was in heaven.

"Edward. Why did you create me?"

I blinked a few times. When did I…..

"You made me this..." Her fingers turned to an icy cold liquid. The liquid wrapped around my throat, choking me. "...way."

"Mo..th..er"

My eyes snapped opened from a loud clacking sound. I lifted my head slightly so I could stare at my offender. The security guard only smirked at my displeasure. The jerk had been smacking the metal bars with his Billy club.

"Get your ass up. Your hearing is in twenty minutes."

I sat up, feeling a nice cramp in my neck. I must of fallen asleep while I was waiting.

I glared at the security guard who had awakened me. The man didn't even flinch, just kept his smug smirk firmly in place. I suppose working in a jail would make you immune to most glares. After a few more moments of us staring at each other, he turned swiftly on his heals and left. Weird.

I began to rub at the sore muscles in my neck. Jail beds just weren't comfortable. What a bummer.

I was in Central now. Ross's and my meeting was only brief the previous day. I had so many questions to ask her, there was so much to catch up on. But she was a First Lieutenant now and had many other obligations to attend to. Before she left though, she promised she would get a hold of Roy for me.

She better keep that promise. Especially considering I was about to get my hearing in… oh I would say about fifteen minutes.

Also before she left she said that we would meet again. I was really hoping that to be true. Ross was always a pretty cool person.

After me and Ross's reunion I was placed on a train to Central. There wasn't really anything interesting that happened on the ride. I got stuck with a very stern officer whose only enjoyment was to try and stare me down. The train ride went through the night so I didn't get to Central till about tenthe next morning. After that I was instantly taken to Centrals main jail hall and I've been here ever since.

How fun.

The security guard that I was becoming oh-so-fond-of returned again. His smirk was still plastered firmly on his face. I always hated it when people acted that way. You know, like they are smarter than you. Even though I bet you dim-to-a-dollar that my IQ would crush his.

A loud click came from the doors lock. The man pushed the jail door open and motioned for me to follow. I did as ordered. See, I was a good boy.

I was lead through the many corridors of the facility. The place seemed likea heaven of steal. Some of the prisoners banged on the bars of their cells while screaming foul and explicit words at me. Man, some prisoners obviously have too much time on their hands. I just ignored them as I followed the guard.

Finally we made it to the front doors where I was thoroughly checked. And I mean very thoroughly. I suppose I should appreciate the fact that they didn't underestimate their prisoners. But at the same time I wasn't very appreciative that they considered me as one.

Once I had their approval, the officer led me to the outside world. We were in Centrals Grand Military Station. Military and government buildings lined up next to each other on a long cement strip. As a kid I use to marvel at all the ancient looking buildings. Now they just left a foul taste in my mouth.

I looked to the left at the familiar Military Headquarters that I had grown to hate early in my youth. It still looked the same and seemed as busy as ever.

The guard poked his Billy stick into my chest which automatically grabbed my attention.

"Stop lagging, we're on a schedule."

You know, even though the Parliament had ultimately pissed me off, there's one thing I must admit. The Parliament was being extremely efficient. A hearing in four days after a committed crime was unheard of in the old government. It was just impressive.

Instead of walking to the court house like I had expected, we headed over to where Bradley's Political Meeting Hall use to be. Pillars lined along the entrance of the white pristine building. Two statues of silver lions stood proudly on either side of the stairs.

As we walked up the stairs I realized something, this was going to be my first time entering this particular building.

The inside of the building was a sight to see. The floor was white marble and the walls a pasty brown. The ceiling was a round top with paintings of patriotism done in great detail. Images of soldiers standing proudly with the Amestris flag in their hand's while others showed soldiers fighting for their country. For a moment, it made me proud to be an Amestris.

I was lead to two rather large oak wooden doors. Both doors had engravings of two lions encircled around each other. Beyond those doors sat the political power of the Amestris nation. In their hands they held the destiny of the next few years of my life. I swallowed hard as the security guard pushed both the doors open.

"Wait!"

My eyes shot open. HALLELLUJAH! The heavens have opened and God has heard my call.

I turned to watch Roy running towards us. Well, more like limping quickly.

The security guard allowed the doors to close back shut. He looked at Roy with annoyance.

"ROY! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" If I didn't have handcuffs firmly constricting my wrists I most likely would have jumped on him with kisses and hugs. And I'm not joking.

Roy finally caught up to us. He took in a few big breaths to try and calm his breathing. I could only smile while praying that Roy had somehow gotten me out of this mess. Once Roy had fully composed himself, he stood up and began to straighten my clothing out for me. I eyed him curiously.

"Well.."

"Well Edward.. I just wanted to wish you luck before your hearing. So good luck and see you later."

My mouth fell open. This wasn't what I was expecting. He had to be joking.

"Huh..?"

Roy tapped me on the forehead and thenwalked right past us and into the room that my hearing was being held in.

I blinked a few times.

He did not..

Oh he just did not..

The guard grabbed me roughly by my shoulders and pushed me through the doors. Stupid jerk.

I walked into the room that was simply enormous in size. Holy mother of pigs was it huge. Blue and white ribbons were firmly wrapped around a large table that stretched across the room. The members of the Parliament all sat behind the desk, each watching me closely.

We walked past Roy who occupied one of the many chairs that lined up against the back wall. I glared at him with the devil in my eyes. I was pissed beyond words. He only looked at me with a gleam in his own. A gleam of hope possibly.. Better be…

There were twelve in the Parliament. Twelve men who were well aged and seemed to hold much wisdom. Notice I used the word 'seemed'. Each representing a different section of Amestris. All twelve set's of eyes were following my every movement. I was tempted to squirm.

We finally stopped a few feet away from the mammoth sized table. The security guard left my side, left me to the vultures.

"Edward Rockbell?"

The first one to speak was a man who was rather tubby, very bald, and had a thin gray mustache that graced itself above his lips. His cheeks jiggled slightly as he spoke. "Are you Edward Rockbell?"

I looked back at Roy. Deep down I knew Roy had a plan. He wouldn't fail me like that.

Roy shook his head. I lifted an eyebrow at him. He motioned for me to continue with a hand gesture but still shook his head.

I turned back to the Parliament, not sure what the heck Roy had up his sleeve. I took a deep breath before I spoke. "No, my name is Edward Elric." My name felt like it was being ripped off my tongue. My cover was blown. It was over. It was all over.

The Parliament broke into loud chatter. Each of them turning to the other, conversing on what I just said. I closed my eyes. I planned to beat Roy senseless when this was all over.

"Are you the same Edward Elric that had the alias FullMetal?"

I looked at the man who just spoke. I knew his voice… It took a few minutes for it all to click in. It was General Hakuro. Well I suppose Chairman Hakuro now. Years ago I had rescued him and his family from a train that had been taken over by rebels. He was the one that gave me clarification to take the State Alchemy test at such a young age.

"Yes."

All of them broke out into chatter again. All of their conversations seemed to hold a tone of excitement.

Hakuro cleared his throat before he spoke. "Edward Elric, the Parliament would like to know where you have been for the past four years. Would you please explain yourself?"

I turned to Roy again. He just motioned for me to continue. I didn't like where this was going.

"In the summer of 1916 I quit the military and went off to live my own life. At that time I informed Roy of my resignation. My actions were legal considering I had completed my four years of required service."

Hakuro folded his hands in front of himself. He lifted an eloquent eyebrow. "Oh? If I remember correctly you had signed a legal contract binding you for another two years in the military. It was under the impression that you were doing research to benefit the government. During that time the government provided you with funding."

Well shit. He was right. Figures they wouldn't over look something so minor. Heh heh, right.

"But, that contract wasn't totally binding. I was allowed to break the contract if I found a sufficient enough reason to. And I did find a sufficient reason to break it. May I remind you of King Bradley.." Score for me. Wahoo.

Again the room broke out into chatter. Some nodding their heads while others were shaking their own. I wasn't sure if it was good or bad.

Chairman Hakuro picked up a few sheets of papers and flipped through them. He stopped at one, his eyes skimming over it. "Just informing your superior officer of your resignation isn't a proper way to break a military contract. You were suppose to prove your case and give proof of your 'sufficient reasoning'." This guy had to be joking.

"The person I was supposed to present this to was King Bradley himself. Do you honestly believe that King Bradley would have listened with any form of reasoning? Yes, I did break a legal contract in an illegal manner. But I think if you consider the terms I was under you would find some understanding in the way I did things."

Chairman Hakuro began to rub his chin. He smirked as he looked at me. "I can't prosecute you under laws you broke from the old government. But, we do have a present issue on our hands. The Parliament has been giving your brother compensation for your 'death'. Would you like to explain that one?"

Eww, ouch. Wasn't the trial supposed to be about illegal alchemy?

"No sir, I cannot."

Hakuro's smirk turned into a smile. A very uncomforting smile.

"We are getting off subject here, are we not? How about we turn our focus to the main issue here. Edward Elric, are you aware that alchemy is illegal?"

I groaned while nodding my head. Illegal alchemy, how stupid.

"Do you understand why alchemy is illegal?"

I nodded my head again. Of course, they considered it a tool of mass destruction. I will admit I can see some of their reasoning. But there was still so much good that could come out of alchemy. It was a shame they were too blind to see that.

Chairman Hakuro ran a hand through his graying hair. "Your case has been reviewed and discussed thoroughly. Through reports we havelearned your story and your reasons for using alchemy. All of us have decided that since this is your first offense and alchemy was used under terms of self defense, we will allow you to go free. But be warned that if this same mistake happens again, you will be prosecuted to the full extent."

My heart jumped for joy. Well, that was easy. Way too easy. Wahoo!

"By the way Mr. Elric, I would like to see you in my office."

And of course Hakuro had to ruin the moment.

* * *

"You should be grateful that you once saved my life. And you better thank your friend General Mustang; he put his job on the line for you. I have every right to court-marshal him for withholding information from the military. But I owe him a favor and this will be my way of paying him back. You see, if General Mustang hadn't informed me of your situation then very likely your hearing would have taken months to process and you would have been found guilty almost immediately." 

Chairman Hakuro took a sip of his whisky. I sat across from him on a silk blue couch that was placed in the center of the room. Hakuro's office was actually King Bradley's old one. It had been refurnished. The room gave the impression of a parlor rather than an office now. I was curious of how he got Bradley's old office considering it was the nicest one in all the buildings, but kept my mouth shut.

"I am grateful for all that you have done. All I want to do now is to talk to General Mustang and head home." I took a sip of the water I had been drinking. Whisky yucky.

Hakuro only smirked. It wasn't one of those friendly smirks, more like the evil smirk from hell. He had been doing it a lot throughout the conversation and it was making me totally uncomfortable.

"We still need to discuss this compensation your brother has been receiving."

I sighed as I leaned into the couch. I knew there was a catch. "Look, the compensation was a mistake. It's the military's fault for declaring me dead. Besides, why was I even receiving compensation if I had resigned? Before this past year I was unaware of my brother receiving the money. I have no problem returning the money and if you want interest I won't complain." See, simple and easy.

Chairman Hakuro took another sip of his alcohol. "You received compensation because Roy couldn't process your resignation in time. I am confused on how you never knew about the compensation. And, if you were aware for this past year why did you not report it?"

I bit on my lip. Why did he have to make things so difficult. "For three years I didn't live with my brother. I moved out on my own. I needed to get my head clear, you know. And I didn't report the compensation because I've been recovering from surgery for the past seven months. I wasn't exactly in proper health to be worrying about a military flaw." Ok, so I mixed some truth with lies. It was a good combination.

Chairman Hakuro stood up with his glass. He walked over to his desk and leaned against it. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. "I don not believe your story. But, I will not question you any further."

I nodded and began to stand, I just wanted out of there. Hakuro stopped my movements by slamming his glass cup on his desk. "SIT. I did not excuse you." I looked at the man wearily as I did what I was told. Wow, was that uncalled for.

"General Mustang and I had a nice little conversation before your hearing. The Parliament will not over look this whole situation. In the Parliament's eyes you have stolen thousands of dollars through your own false death. The Parliament is already talking about a trial date for you. I got you off from illegal alchemy, but this one won't be so easy. But…"

I always hated 'buts'.

"Mustang and I have come up with a plan…"

I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't like this one bit.

* * *

"WAS THIS YOUR PLAN THE WHOLE TIME!" 

Roy sat back in his chair while taking a sip of his coffee. I slammed my hands against his desk. "How could you do this to me? I mean, I finally found peace… God damn it Mustang… ANSWER ME!"

Roy sighed as he placed his coffee cup on the desk. He folded his hands in front of him. "I will answer your questions once you compose yourself."

I growled at him. I wanted to tear him limb from limb. "I hate you."

"Edward, please take a seat and have a civilized conversation with me. I will not answer you unless you follow my request."

I took a deep breath in, hoping to relax my pulsing heart. I was torn with emotions. On one side I wanted to scream and yell, throwing stuff sounded appealing too. But on the other side I wanted to wallow in self misery. Life never was fair to me. Never ever ever.

I took a seat in the wooden chair that was in front of his desk. Suddenly all of my energy drained away. I felt so tired and warn out. I was so sick of these games.

"Why.. How could you do this?"

Roy rubbedhis nose bridge between his eyes. "Edward, I didn't have much of a choice. If I wanted to get you off charges of alchemy, they needed to know your real identity. If you compare one year of military service to years in jail, which one is better?"

"JAIL!" I folded my arms across my chest. Yes, I planned to be a baby about this. Bite me.

"Edward, me and you both know that's not true. Look, I promised I would look after you. You have been assigned as one of my direct subordinates. I guarantee you I will keep you safe and out of danger. And retaining your rank as Major isn't too shabby either."

I groaned as I placed my hands over my face. This just totally sucked. I finally was able to live a happy normal life with my brother and then my life takes a turn like this. It was all shit. Sucky poopy shit.

"There is already a dorm being set up for you. I doubt I need to show you around the building… There haven't been too many changes."

"Roy, how could you do this to me?"

Roy stood up and walked around his desk. He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Edward, I told you alchemy was illegal. Don't blame me for your mistakes. But, I am interested in hearing what really happened in Rizenpool that night."

I grabbed Roy's hand and pushed it off my shoulder. "Yea, I was interested in the same thing. What the hell did happen?"

Roy's lips curled in a smirk. He grabbed some papers off his desk and handed them to me. I tried to read them but my eyes didn't want to corporate.

"Those are all the reports I have received. Colonel Sanders is in charge of operations over there. This is his first assignment as Colonel so don't be surprised if some of the reports are.. unclear. You can take them if you like; I am done looking through them."

I placed the papers on my lap. I would read them later when I got myself a new pair of glasses.

"What am I suppose to tell Al? Am I even allowed to go home to say goodbye?"

Roy sighed while shaking his head. "You are under a one month probation and must remain in Central for that time. A phone call will have to suffice. Just be honest with him. Once your probation is over I'll permit you to visit him as occasionally as possible. I am sorry things turned out this way."

"Yea, I'm sorry too." I ran a hand through my bangs. I knew Roy had saved my ass. Pretty much my 'sentence' is as follows.. I must return the money my brother had received from the government and instead of jail time Hakuro bargained one year of volunteer military service. That way there would be no trail and no jail. Hippy dippy mother fudging yay.

Roy smiled at me. "Now let's talk about Rizenpool."

I groaned as I looked at him. For a man that usually was lazy with his work, he seemed very adamant on finding out about Rizenpool.

"The Xing came in.. They killed some civilians and burned down many houses. I'm sure that's allin the reports."

Roy nodded. "Yea, that isn't any news to me. Is there anything else?"

"Yea there is." Before the whole trial mess there was something I desperately wanted to talk to Roy about. He knew about Tucker. He knew the horrors of what Tucker had created. I swallowed hard.

"Chimera."

"What?" Roy tried to cover his shock but was doing a petty job.

"So I suppose that wasn't in your reports. Figures. There was only one that I saw and it wasn't a normal chimera. It didn't follow the laws of equivalent trade. The size of the animal was much too big to be done under terms ofequal mass. The chimera itself was too perfect to be done by any normal alchemist. It has to be one of Tuckers. Tucker was always a specialist when it came to chimera. And if anyone could beat equivalent trade when it came to Chimera…"

"Edward, what your saying makes no sense. First, even Tucker couldn't beat equivalent trade. And second, it can't be Tuckers."

I looked at him. "What do you mean it can't be Tuckers?"

"Two years ago we found Tuckers corpse. It was in a sewer system, clogging the drains. It seemed he died from various organ failures. His body was going against the laws of nature; he couldn't survive long in a body like that."

Tucker wasdead? There was no one else in the world that could create a successful chimera like he did. What about..

"Was there a young girl with his body?"

Roy lifted an eyebrow. "No.. It was just Shou Tucker."

I shook my head. That was something I would have to figure out later.

"Do you think it's possible that the Xing Alchemist's are that advanced with alchemy? I mean, Tucker's personal library contained books that were written over a few hundred year's time span. The knowledge he had on chimera's was not something that someone could just figure out with no direction…"

Roy walked back around his desk and sat down. He seemed deep in thought. This whole thing didn't make sense. Chimera.. How could someone have that type of talent with chimera's and avoid the laws of equivalent exchange...

My whole world darkened.

There was no way. How could they.. Why would they.. But it was the only explanation.

"..philosopher Stone.."

Roy looked at me curiously. "The philosopher stone? What would that have to do with anything?"

"It has to do with everything! Shit Roy, they have the philosopher stone. Ignoring the laws of equivalent trade.. producing perfect chimera... There is no other explanation."

Roy blinked a few times as if he was trying to allow everything to sink in. He shook his head. "How would that be even possible? I mean, all the research in our country on the philosopher stone has been destroyed. Xing, up until recently, has done research only on medical alchemy. It's just not logical."

"It's totally logical. Our alchemy research in this country has never been focused on the philosopher stone but our military still tried to create it in secrete."

Roy sighed while he used his hands as a chin rest. "There's so much that doesn't make sense. Let's say they do have a philosopher stone.. I am only speaking theoretically. Well if they are using it to create chimera than obviously its being used for military purposes. Then that means they have mass amounts of military power. With that much power wouldn't they have advanced in on our borders already?"

I looked at Roy curiously. "What do you mean? What about Rizenpool? Call me stupid, but that seemed like one hell of an advancement."

Roy shook his head. He swirled in his chair so he was looking at the map behind him. It was a world map.

"Do you remember the surveillance photos you saw seven months ago?"

I nodded. The surveillance photos I saw showed camps and trenches all throughout the Great Desert. It was kinda freaky.

"For almost a year now Xing has done nothing but grow in numbers in the Great Desert. It's like they are waiting for something but aren't making a move till that something happens. There have been a few conflicts and battles but it's only been when our side provokes them. Rizenpool has been there first true advancement. If they are so powerful then why have they been holding off for a year? And out of all places why would they make Rizenpool their first target? Rizenpool is a agricultural community with a low population. It makes no sense."

He was right, it didn't make sense. "Does anyone know of my return? Could it be because of me? I'm not trying to flatter myself here but during my military days I did make some enemies."

Roy shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "The only ones whowere aware of your originalreturnwere a few trusted military personnel. Riza, myself, and Armstrong. A couple rumors went around when you first surfaced, but I had silenced all of them. I'm not sure how word could have gotten to Xing."

I sighed. It all seemed too confusing and too coincidental.

* * *

"So you're stuck there for an entire year." 

"Look, this is the best I can do."

Winry wasn't taking the news very well. I had been on the phone for about an hour already trying to explain everything to her. Talking to her was like talking to ablock of wood at times.

"So, are you going to take care of Al for me or what?"

"Ed, he's going to want to be with you. How could you do this to him?"

I growled into the phone. We had gone over this already. "It's too dangerous for him to be here. I can't afford for Al to get hurt. And this isn't my fault so don't start blaming me."

"What do you mean it'snot your fault! Look, I'm not trying to fight with you Ed. But Al just got you back. He's going to be upset about this. He should be with you."

I sighed as I leaned against the wall. I really, really, REALLY wasn't thrilled with the whole situation. "Rizenpool is a lot safer than here. I know Al will be upset.. _I'm_ upset about this. But it's either this or jail. Look, I'll call as often as possible and once my probation is over I'll be on a train to Rizenpool."

Winry took in a shuddering breath. For the first time in my life I truly wish I could be there to comfort her. She had lost Al and I more times than I could count. Everyone was just being torn apart all over again.

"Winry, I'm sorry. Really I am. But it just worked out this way. It's not like I planned for any of this."

"I know you didn't… It's just easier to blame you for everything. I'll take care of Al; you don't need to worry about that. Ed, just be careful. Make sure you keep in touch."

"I promise I will."

"Ed, there's one more thing."

I frowned at the phone. "What?"

"I swear to god if you damage your auto-mail I will KILL YOU."

I smiled.

"Bye Winry, take care."

I hung up the phone before she could say anything else. She could be one scary girl when it came to her auto-mail.

"Edward Elric?"

I turned at the sound of my name. Behind me was Roy's secretary. She was a very pretty woman, probably no older than myself. Her hair was black, done up nicely. Her blue military uniform fit her petite figure very well and caused her blue eyes to stand out. She smiled at me.

"Your dorm is ready for you. General Mustang told me to inform you."

I smiled sheepishly at Roy's secretary. "Heh, yea thanks.. I've never stayed in the dorms before. Can you please point me in the right direction?"

Her smile broadened. "Of course sir. Just follow me."

I nodded my thanks as I followed her.

We passed by many military personnel. Not one of the faces looked familiar. There were so many new people.Everyone was busy at work. It was so unlike the old days when the military offices were very relaxed. The military headquarters use to feel like such a friendly social place. Now it felt like a giant office filled with businessmen.

After awhile of walking wecameto a long hall way filled with closed doors. It was a quieter atmosphere when compared to the office rooms. The young woman stopped at one of the doors and pulled out a key to unlock it. She handed me the key and opened the door.

"Thank you so much."

The woman only smiled while shaking her head. "It's fine; this is part of my job. Your uniform is on your bed. General Mustang also suggested that I give you the schedule's to the cafeteria and for the gym. They are on the desk. Also, General Mustang told me that he expects you up and in his office by 8 am tomorrow morning. If you have anymore questions you are more thanwelcome to ask me."

I stepped into the room to take a look around. The walls, coverts, and the desk were all bare. The room was painted a light blue with a window next to the bed. I suppose it was better than nothing.

"Thank you Miss."

The woman nodded and smiled before leaving and closing the door behind her.

I sighed as I threw the reports Roy had given me on the bed. Today had been one of the longest days of my life.

There was a door on the left side of the room. I looked at it curiously before I opened it. It was a tiny bathroom. Tiny was a understatement. There was blue tile that made up the floor and walls. A small bathtub was squeezed into the coroner while the sink and toilet stood practically on top of each other. I stared at myself in the mirror that hung above the sink. I looked tired and worn. I had dark circles forming under my eyes. Oh hell I was too young to like this.

"I need a shower." My voice fell flat to the empty room.

I walked over to the desk and looked at the schedule. Well at least I was getting free food out of the whole ordeal. And I was back to the possibility of research funds. I like research funds.. Even though I didn't have anything to research these days.

My eyes took in the small cubby hole of a room. It was so small and tiny. It was beyond me how people could live in the dorms for their whole military careers. My eyes suddenly stopped at the blue uniform that laid on my bed.

I groaned as I looked at the ugly clothing the military forced everyone to wear. When I was a kid they once tried to get me to wear the vile attire, but I refused.

And my opinion still hasn't changed.

I looked out the window making sure there was no one out there. I was on the third floor and I had a nice view of the small park that was on the military's property. I went to the front door and opened it. No one was out in the hallway. Bwahahahah!

I locked the door and walked right back to the hideous blue uniform.

I clapped my hands and used alchemy to transform the monstrosity of clothing into beautiful black pants, black tank top, and black jacket with white lining. I clapped my hands again changing the nice policed shoes into lovely black and red boots.

Now, for the final victor. I took off the clothing I was wearing; I needed lots of fabric for my last creation.

I clapped my hands one more time and created my signature red jacket with theblack Flamel printed on the back.

Even though my mood was still blue, I couldn't help but smirk.

The Fullmetal was back.

* * *

**Authors Notes:**

Waaaaaaa.. This took me awhile to write (Sorry guys!) I had a mild family emergency (I think everything is ok now) so I lost one day of possibly writing and also I had MAJOR writers block. AND to top it all off I had evil school work. I think this chapter came out alright, I just hope its not too confusing. I hope you all enjoy!

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**Questions you might have…**

1. Terminology for court proceedings.

I'm not a crime major or anything of the sort. I know nothing at all that really deals with the law. I tried to do some research on it but I really I came out empty handed. I can say for a fact that the Parliament is nothing like our government. So in away I suppose terminology doesn't matter for the court proceedings but if you do see anything that's like eye poppingly wrong I would really appreciate it if someone pointed it out to me. Thanks!

2. Does everyone get a trial with the Parliament?

I didn't really explain this part. No! There is no way the parliament would be able to see all the court cases in Amestris. That would be horrible for those poor old men to run a country and do all hearings. But then again I can be a horrible person.. heh heh. Anyways, the reason Ed's was done in front of Parliament is because alchemy is that serious. Your probably going 'wtf.. alchemy cant be that bad' but it is. In chapter 3 **Death of FullMetal **Roy tells Ed that Parliament got a nice whiff of all the stuff that happened almost four years ago. Don't forget the Parliament is made up of a bunch of old fogies. The events freaked them out. And there is a little more to it. Ok A LOT more to it but I'll explain myself as the story goes along.

3. Huh, Roy knew about Ed but didn't get into trouble?

Ok, I think this came out unclear. Roy didn't tell Chairman Hakuro everything. He told him that Edward Elric was being charged of illegal use of alchemy and needed helped out. He knew if he would have given Hakuro Ed's identity then Hakuro could help Ed. The reason Roy didn't get into major trouble for with holding information concerning Ed (like knowing Ed existed) was because Hakuro owed Roy a favor. There is no significance to whatever deal Hakuro and Roy made.. I'm just trying to prove a point. Amestris is like our society. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Its all about what you do and who you know.

4. Colonel Sanders!

Bwahahah! Well, I needed a made up random character. The KFC Colonel seemed perfect.

5. Concerning new characters in the future.

I am honestly trying my best not to add too many made up characters, even though there will be some.But I guarantee you Ed's going to have a lot of reunions with old 'friends'. I will add only a few manga characters (ex. Ling), but not too many.

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**SoulOmenspride-** Yea, Ross is totally cool. I left a nice little hint for what may come in the future with her. And yea, the Parliament totally sucks. But the whole point is alchemy is destructive in their eyes. They are just trying to protect their country. Thanks for the review! 

**Sorceress-fox-** Haha, you're a great guesser! When I read your review I was like 'damn, their onto me!'. Yup, Ed's in the military to clear his recorder. There was no way I could throw poor Ed in jail. But I do think Ed might look cute in strips. Hmm.. Well thanks for your review!

**SiR MaGuS-** That interesting turn is all part of my evil plotline. I think you will find a lot of twists and turns in the future. Wahahahaha.. Or, maybe not. Must read to find out. Thanks for the review!

**Priestess kurumi inu's sister-** Well I only say things I truly mean (trust me that actually gets me in to a lot of trouble). Thanks for the review!

**Aharah Musici- **THANK YOU! I fixed the errors. Heh, I don't have a proof reader so sometimes I miss a lot of mistakes. Any mistake your willing to point out I'm more than willing to fix. This goes for everyone! I'm defiantly not the best with English and spelling so all corrections are more than welcome. Thank you!

**Mena-** Between my poor attempts at speaking English and Japanese, I do know some German. Held means Hero in the German language. This is the explanation I gave in chapter one:

Held (the title of the fic) is actually hero in German. Because in English it means to hold I figured Held would make a good title. As I look at it, I am twisting the German meaning with the English. It's to represent the physical/mental holding on the hero Ed use to be. He's desperately holding onto his past while trying to move forward in life.

So yea, that's pretty much where I got Held from. I hope it makes more sense now. Thanks for the compliment and review!

**Katratzi-** Are we going to see more chimeras? Hmm, I'm not huge on giving away spoilers but I will say this.. I think chimera's are totally neat in their whole concept (well actually Dr. Stuart Newman (professor at New York Medical College in Valhalla, New York) has been trying for years to get a patent to do some 'chimera' (or embryonic stem cells swapping) experimentation. So its not really a concept anymore, more like a future possibility). Creepy creatures that go bump in the night. Oh it brings back the whole child fantasy world I miss having. Thanks for the review!

**Kasha of the Wicked Darkness-** Is Ed going to get kidnapped by Tuckers creations.. Hmm.. I'm a horrible person and I'm going to say.. no spoilers! XD! Lol curiosity did kill the cat but at least he died a bit smarter. Thanks for the review!


	10. New Meetings

Don't own Fma. I'll buy you a kitten if you could get it for me.

Also a major thanks to Han-chan who is now my beta reader. She is doing a incredible job and has been very patient with me! I thank her for all of her hard work.

**

* * *

**

Held

By Gomp

Mustang looked at my clothing with displeasure, my smile only broadened.

"Edward."

"Yes sir?"

He narrowed his eye at me. "You're too complicated."

I shrugged helplessly as I walked into his office. When it came to my fashion sense I always seemed to get my way. Wahahha.

There was another man sitting in Roy's office. I eyed him wearily as sat down on the couch across from him. I had never seen him before. He was actually fairly attractive for a man, appearing to be of a Latino ethnicity. His hair was dark brown and shagged in his eyes, he seemed a few years older than me, but not by much. His eyes carried a sharpness to them, sharpness that gave the impression of wisdom beyond years.

The man held out his hand. I looked at Roy for guidance not sure what to do . Roy nodded, silently telling me to take it.

The man's handshake was firm, it seemed very professional. After a few seconds of shaking I went to pull my hand away, but the man held onto me firmly.

He pulled down my white glove which revealed my metallic hand. His eyes seemed to go distant for a second, but then a smirk formed on his lips. I yanked my hand away from him. I didn't like the look he was giving me.

"So you still have auto-mail." What type of statement was that! Talk about a first impression.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Who the hell are you?"

"Boys, boys, lets not get off on a bad start." I fixed Roy with a perplexed gaze. This other man was giving me bad vibes.

"Edward, I have assigned Lieutenant Soto," Roy gestured to the man across from me. "as your direct subordinate."

"Huh?" My eyebrows shot up. My direct subordinate?

"Lieutenant Soto heard that you have rejoined the military and has been begging all morning to be assigned to you. So how about it?" Roy's eyes were pleading, and I mean like Puppy-Style pleading.

I looked over at Lieutenant Soto, his face was stern with his posture perfect in his chair. Oh man… how the hell did I get stuck with the weirdo's? But then again, having a slave didn't sound too bad.

"As long as he doesn't get in my way I suppose I don't mind. Just be warned, I'm not a babysitter."

Lieutenant Soto suddenly broke out into a large toothy smile, his whole body relaxed and he began to slouch slightly in the chair. "Thank you Major Elric, I have been a huge fan of yours since my teens."

Great, I had a fan. I looked at the man across from me not really sure what to think. First he was Mr. Stark, now he seemed to be all lazed. Men, they were just too confusing.

"You can call me Enzo. Sorry about the auto-mail comment, I just wasn't expecting to see it."

"Oh?"

The man smiled sheepishly while scratching his head. "When I was a kid I always heard rumors about you being part machine, I just never fully believed it. I was more captured by your age."

I sighed still not totally comfortable with 'Enzo', but there would be more time to contemplate about him later.

I turned to Roy. "Roy, what do you want me to do?"

Roy leaned back into his chair while using his hands as a head rest. "There really isn't much to do. My main job is to review all the reports about Xing and do paper work which you can't help me with. It seems the Parliament thinks I am... incapable of doing any real work."

I flinched slightly at Roy's comment. I knew Roy wasn't fully handicapped, but he was disabled. And I knew exactly how it felt. "So you're telling me there is nothing for me to do? Oh come on, there has to be something." Hell, if I was stuck in the military for a year I would at least like to be productive.

Roy shrugged his shoulders while a loud yawn escaped his lips.

I stared at him in disbelief. "What the hell am I suppose to do for a year?"

Roy looked at me lazily and shot me a playful smirk. "Relax, work will come. Get yourself familiar with the facility again. Make friends with your co-workers."

I rolled my eyes at Roy as I stood up. Great, just great, I woke up early in the morning for nothing. "You're the same crappy Colonel that you've always been."

Roy gave a bark of a laugh as he sat straight in his chair. "It's General now, and you're the same annoying brat that I've been forced to deal with for years."

I ran my fingers through my bangs and smiled from his teasing. "I know."

"Riza has asked me to invite you for dinner tonight, interested?"

"Yea sure." I loved food.

Enzo suddenly stood up causing me to look at him. Ahh! His posture was too perfect. "Major Elric, why don't I familiarize you with the facility again? I wouldn't mind learning more about you."

I lifted an eyebrow at the man, but took him up on his offer.

* * *

Enzo turned out to be quite the character. He was intellectual, very good with war history, and had a very dynamic personality. He had been in the military for almost two years and joined for finical stability. Because he was so well with war history, the military was using him for old war tactics. He also seemed to be a genius when it came to mathematics. I tried to talk to him a little about alchemy, but his knowledge seemed very limited in that area. Oh well. 

Enzo showed me around military and government buildings. The tour itself was a bore since I already knew almost everything, but the conversations with Enzo were very enlightening. We were walking past one of the military offices when someone caught my eye. It was finally someone of familiarity!

I smirked as I pushed open their office door and walked right up to the desk. She didn't even look up as she spoke. "Look, I'm busy writing a report. Leave me alone."

I tapped the young girl on the head to get her attention.

"I said leave me alo-" She finally looked at me. "EDWARD!"

"Is that how you greet everyone?"

Sheshka blushed slightly as she shuffled her papers. "Everyone has been bugging me today. Sorry, I wasn't expecting to see you. Winry called me this morning and told me the news. How are you taking things?"

I shrugged. How was I taking things? I wasn't even sure myself. "It's just the way things worked out. Once I get this year over with, I can kiss the military goodbye forever."

Sheshka nodded as her eyes glanced to the side of me and stayed frozen there. I was confused at first to what she was looking at, but then realized it was Enzo. "Sheshka, this is Lieutenant Soto."

Enzo held out his hand for her to shake. "You can call me Enzo." Sheshka's cheeks began to turn a cherry red and she grabbed his hand shyly.

…wait a minute.

"My name is Sheshka."

Both of them stared at each other with an intensity that could only be…

No, no, no... impossible. NO WAY!

"Hey Enzo, we better head out." Enzo waved bye to Sheshka as I practically dragged him out of the room.

Yuck, eek, wrong.

There was just no way.

When I finally was far enough away that Sheshka couldn't hear, I fixed Enzo with a threatening stare. "What do you think you're doing?"

Enzo grabbed me by the shoulders and laughed. "I'm not doing anything."

"I saw the look you both were giving each other. I'm not that ignorant."

"Edward, are you jealous? I think your over reacting over nothing."

I wanted to defend myself, but he was right. I really was over reacting over nothing. "I suppose I'm over reacting cause she's my best friend's friend."

Enzo flashed me a toothy smile, his teeth were practically perfect. "You don't need to worry about it, she's not really my type. "

"Oh?" I was tempted to ask him if Sheshka wasn't good enough for him, but held back.

"Yea… not my type."

He looked at me as if he was going to say something else, but then turned away. His actions confused me.

"Enzo, is something wrong?"

Enzo shook his head. "No, it's nothing. Come on, lets finish the tour."

* * *

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the Mustang family: Maes Roy Mustang. He was one hell of a cute 'lil sucker. 

"Ed, I'm so happy you could come to dinner."

I shoved some of the potato salad in my mouth as I nodded my head at Riza.

Roy took a sip of his drink. "So Edward, how do you like your dorm?"

I used my napkin to wipe my face. "It will do. Riza, this food is amazing."

Riza smiled as she rocked her baby in her arms. I looked in wonder at her motherly actions. She reminded me of my own mother.

"What do you think of Lieutenant Soto? He is leaving quit the impression around the military." Roy fixed me with a questioning gaze.

I took another bite out of the salad before I spoke. "After getting to know him, he seems like a pretty cool guy. For how smart he is, I'm surprised he cared so much to meet me."

Roy smirked, then looked between me and his wife. When he saw that Riza was consumed with the baby, his smirk turned into a smile. He then proceeded to take a scrap of meat from his dish and fed Black Hayate, who was under the table. I shot him a dirty look, he only looked back at me innocently.

Roy composed himself before he spoke again. "Didn't Armstrong once tell you that you were a hero? Once word gets out that your back, you will find more people wanting to meet you."

I groaned at his comment. I wasn't a hero, just Edward Elric.

I finished the rest of my food that was on my plate. Riza defiantly had a gift in the kitchen when compared to Winry. Ok... I didn't say that.

Riza handed the baby to Roy so she could clean up the dishes. I sat there entranced by Roy's fatherly goodness. Roy cooed and rocked the baby back and forth almost better than anyone I had seen do it before. Roy the father figure, who would have known.

When Roy noticed I was looking at him and smirked at me. "Would you like to hold him?"

I bit back a laugh as I shook my head. "I've never held a baby before."

Roy's smirk only broadened as he stood up and walked over to me. He placed his baby gently in my arms.

Holding a child was a totally different experience for me. The baby was so light and soft, so fragile. I smiled as I looked at the bundle of sunshine in my arms; the baby had Roy's dark eyes with Riza's blonde hair. Its nose also seemed to belong to Riza too. Maes grabbed one of my human fingers while giggling at me. Ahh, so freakin' cute.

"He likes you Edward."

I chuckled at Roy's statement, it sounded funny. "Well I suppose that's good, better than him disliking me. You're a lucky man."

Roy reached for his child and I unhappily returned him. A question had been nagging at me. "When does Riza plan to return to the force?"

Roy placed the child on his shoulder while he began to rub comforting cycles around Maes' back. "It is up to her, but I don't believe she plans to return."

I looked at Roy in shock. Riza not return? Maybe it was better that way.

Roy sat back down. Maes eyes were beginning to fall as Roy kept rocking the child. I stared entranced by the whole display. My mind began to wonder towards my little brother. Al... I could remember how our mother used to carry Al, always rocking him. She would sing us sweet songs before she would put us to bed.

"Edward the military ball is in a few days, why don't you go?"

I blinked a few times as I looked up at Roy. He placed a light kiss over his baby's head before he gave me his full attention.

He was right; it was that time of year. I totally forgot about the stupid dance. "I don't think so. You know me, I'm not into that type of stuff."

"Oh? I think it will be fun. You will be able to meet plenty of new people." Roy wiggled his eyebrows. "And there are many pretty girls."

I sneered at him as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Great, sounds like I'll have a grand-ol time."

Roy seemed to get amusement from my comment as he snickered. "I think you will have a good time. Just go for awhile; if things get to bad then you can just leave early. You are in the dorms so it will be easy to escape."

I sighed as I used my metal hand as a chin rest. "Maybe, I don't know, I'm not much of a dancer."

Riza came into the room, her eyes fixed on her child. Roy eyed his wife before he gave the child up. Riza placed a kiss on her husband's head. Eww, gross.

"I'm going to put Maes to sleep, I think its past his bed time."

I pulled out my pocket watch and checked the time. It was pretty late. "I think I should head back. Roy, can you drive me?"

I looked up only to find Roy staring by my pocket watch. I looked at the watch confused. Nope, nuttin' very enticing about it. "What are you gawking at? "

Roy shook his head as he reached for the time piece. I handed it to him, unhooking it from my belt loop. He ran his fingers over the alchemy engraving.

"This is a very old watch."

I shrugged at him not sure what he was getting at. "It was my father's." After Granny had given it to me I began to wear it everywhere. I figured it would be safer to have it on me and know where it was at all times then to have Winry find it on accident.

Roy lifted an eyebrow. "Really?" I nodded. He flipped open the watch and looked at the insides. He finally closed it and handed it back to me.

"I never knew your father was a State Alchemist."

He was what? I blinked at him stupidly. "Can you repeat that?"

"That was the traditional State Alchemist watch before King Bradley came into rule. That's odd though, your father didn't seem that old when I met him. King Bradley had come into rule over thirty years ago; your father looked no older than forty."

My father never once mentioned anything to me about being a State Alchemist.

"Where are the records on past State Alchemists?"

Roy shot me unsure gaze. "Most were burned with 1st branches library, but there are still some records in 2nd branch."

I would have to ask Sheshka about first branch. "Roy, how long have there been State Alchemists?"

Roy's curiosity was defiantly perked. "Why?"

"Just answer the question."

Roy rubbed his chin while he went into thought. "Alchemists themselves have been around for over a thousand years, the first State Alchemist emerged around the 1100."

"Ok, so when did State Alchemist start receiving this type of watch?"

"1500's, Why?"

I stared at the time piece not too sure myself. I had 400 years of history to dig through.

"Edward, is something going on?"

I gave him a reassuring smile. "Naa, my father inherited this watch from my grandfather." Lie, lie, LIE!

Holy smokes my grandfather was alive… over 400 years ago. Heh, kinda weird when you think about it.

"I see."

Roy stood. He still looked at me with uncertainty, he knew I was hiding something and I knew he was a smart man.

"Let's take you home."

* * *

I laid on my bed still in a tired daze. The gold watch dangled loosely from my finger tips as I watched it spin in the air. The morning sun kept reflecting off the piece causing strange shapes of light to dance around the room. 

My father a State Alchemist, well, I still wasn't totally sure that he was. It was possible he had gotten the watch from a friend or something. But then again, my father was an alchemist.

"I don't get it."

I sighed as I forced myself to get out of the sweet heaven of the bed. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My hair stuck out in strange angles so I unbound the messy braid and tried to run my fingers through it only to get my fingers stuck in the knots. Ahhh, evil hair!

I picked up my brush to try and get some of the knots out of my rats nest. During the process a loud knock from my dorm's door grabbed my attention.

"Coming!"

I threw the brush down in the sink while I pulled my hair into a untrained ponytail. I unlocked the door and opened it for the visitor.

"Enzo?"

Enzo stood in the doorway with a black tee-shirt on and a pair of blue shorts. Enzo's eyes scanned my body before he smirked. "Did I wake you?"

I looked down at my sleep wear. I was only wearing boxers and a tang-top. "I was already awake, just about to get dressed. What's up?"

"I wanted to see if you wanted to go to the gym with me."

I sighed as I thought of his offer. I really wanted to do research on the watch, but I was in desperate need of a work out. "I guess so. Let me get dressed."

Enzo nodded as I closed the door. It took me about 10 minutes to get the bigger knots out of my hair and to secretly change my black jeans into sweats. Tee hee, not illegal unless caught.

Enzo was still waiting for me when I reemerged from my dorm room. The dorm hall was silent,it was still very early in the morning so almost no one was up and at work yet. When we made it to the gym area there were two people running around the track room, but that was it. Enzo unlocked one of the various gym doors and we both walked in.

The room would have been a heaven to a gymnast; it was packed with beams, horses, trampolines… you name it, the room had it.

"I've never been in here before." I walked onto the padded floor. Wow cool, bouncy.

"I'm not surprised, this used to be the basketball court. The room was neglected so the government funded for the room to be transformed into a gymnast room." That explained it. When I used to stay on the military base for more than a few days my brother and I would just use the track room. Basketball... the sport was totally foreign to me.

"I'm impressed."

I walked onto the main floor of the room. Enzo headed towards the bars. I watched as he powdered his hands with chalk and began to play. He did flips and turns between the two bars. His upper arm strength was defiantly impressive considering some of the maneuvers he was doing.

I turned my attention back to myself. I stretched out my arms and legs giving my body more flexibility, and once I felt I was ready I ran and did a flip.

Wahahahaha, I still had it. I landed right on my feet. I then did a back hand spring. Wahoo! Doing gymnastics was fun.

I got lost in myself as I went over the various moves Izumi had taught me as a child. 'You must exercise your body as well as the mind.' She would always say.

My body bent the same way it used to. After almost four years of no work out, it was amazing I could still do half the things I was doing. I suppose my movements were embedded in the mind.

The room was silent when I stopped for some air; sweat covered my body and my BO wasn't very flattering. I looked up to find Enzo sitting on a horse while watching me intently, his stare was almost haunting.

"Is something wrong?"

Enzo shook his head causing his hair to fly around. "No, it's just amazing. You truly are as impressive as I always heard you to be."

"Ha, I highly doubt that."

Enzo jumped from the horse and walked over to me with a bottle of water. I took the water gratefully and gulped down its contents.

"Edward, why do you doubt? I only wish I could see your alchemy."

I laughed at him. "You won't be seeing that anytime soon."

Enzo smirked. "Well, I suppose you're right."

I nodded as I took another sip of water.

* * *

My feet pounded loudly as I stomped my way to Roy's office. I grabbed the door knob and tried to open it but the door was locked. Great, just great. 

"Roy open up!" I used my metal hand to pound against the door.

"Major Elric, General Mustang isn't in."

I looked back at Roy's secretary. She was sitting at her desk with a humored smile playing across her lips. "He's at a meeting."

I growled as I kicked Roy's door. I had an issue to settle with him. "When is he going to be back?"

The woman opened up Roy's daily planner and skimmed through his schedule. "He's not due back for another hour."

I always had bad timing. "Thanks, I guess."

I headed towards the door to leave, but Roy's secretary's hand shot out and grabbed my arm before I could get away. Her voice was soothing and professional. "What's the problem? Maybe I can help."

I groaned as I turned towards her. "The 2nd branch library claims I have no clearance so I can't enter. I want to know what's going on."

Roy's secretary laughed at me as she shook her head. "Your papers still haven't been fully processed yet. Until it's finalized of your return you wont be able to enter any of the off-limit facility's. Once you're cleared you will receive a photo ID." His secretary pulled out her own ID and handed it to me.

I pulled out my new reading glasses so I could read it. This time the glasses were golden rimmed... oh yea, I'm hot.

The card had her picture on it with her personal information, her name stood out to me.

"Klose Kurt..." I rolled the name around in my mouth. Klose, there was some familiarity to it, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"You don't remember me, do you?"

I lifted an eyebrow. "Huh? I actually know you?"

The girl giggled as she took her ID back. "I'm not surprised, it's been years. I wonder if I dressed up like a boy if it would jog your memory."

A boy. Hmm...

My eyes shot open as realization sunk in. Before I became a State Alchemist I had met Klose Kurt on a fluke. A man named Majihal was rumored to be a famous Alchemist. When I went to meet him I ran into Klose. To make a long story short Majihal was killing innocent people to try and bring back a lost love. I ended up killing Majihal instead. In my eyes that was my very first murder. I was surprised I didn't recognize Klose sooner. "Kurt! Holy crap, have you changed."

Kurt laughed at my reaction. "Is that a bad thing?"

I shook my head. She defiantly looked a lot better as a girl. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I was curious if you were going to be able to figure it out on your own. But then again we were just children when we met. I heard a lot about you after you left, you became quite the hero."

I rolled my eyes. I was getting sick of all the hero talk. "Yea, yea, how did you get involved with the military?"

"My father injured himself three years ago and hasn't been able to work. There wasn't much going for me in the country so I decided to move to Central. This was the best paying job I looked at; I am able to support myself while still send money home to my father."

"I'm sorry to hear about your father, but it's good that things are working out."

Kurt smiled at me. "I still can't believe you're back, everyone said that you were dead. Then one day you popped up, what happened?"

I shook my head at her, I knew it wouldn't be appropriate to tell her my life story. Heck, the only people who had a mild clue of what's happened in my life were my brother and the Rockbells. "It's a long story and I would prefer not to get into it."

Kurt chewed on the eraser of her pencil while giving a look of disappointed. Even though I felt slightly guilty that she was upset, there was nothing I could do about it. No offense to her, but she wasn't close enough to me to know the truth.

"Well I got to make a phone call, I suppose I'll be back in an hour."

Kurt's mood perked slightly. "Hey, I was wondering... would you like to get coffee later? My shift is over at five."

I lifted an eyebrow at her. No one had ever asked me out to coffee before, but boy did I love my coffee. "I suppose so."

A small smile crept onto her lips. "How about you invite Lieutenant Soto too? It seems we will be around each other a lot, might as well get to know one another."

"Sure. Well, I'll see you later Miss. Kurt."

Kurt growled at me. "It's fine if you call me by my first name."

I smirked at her. "Naa, I like Kurt more. Maybe I could call you Kurty instead. Besides, isn't it proper to address adults by their last name's?"

Kurty narrowed her eyes at me. "I would prefer if you were formal with me. Don't you dare call me Kurty either."

I laughed. "Alright, see you later Miss. Kurty."

* * *

"How is school going?" 

My brother grumbled into the phone. Yup, school was the devil. "Its going well I suppose."

"That's good."

I twirled my fingers around the phone cord. It was strange not being able to see my brothers face. I disliked the idea that we weren't going to see each other for a month.

He spoke in a sad tone. "Winry told me what happened."

I sighed into the phone. "She did, did she?"

"Is this my fault?"

I laughed as I leaned against the phone booth's wall. "Naa, none of this is your fault."

My brother spoke with uncertainty. "Are you sure?"

"Al, none of this is your fault, I promise you. If anything, this is my fault. I should have never gotten involved with the military in the first place."

"I see... Ed, can I tell you a secret?"

Ohh I liked secrets. "Sure."

Al's voice went into a whisper. "Winry is talking about us coming to visit you."

A genuine smile spread across my face. There were times when Winry really knew how to make me happy. "Really? Do you know when?"

"I don't know, she mentioned it earlier today. I'm hoping it's soon."

My world seemed so much brighter and better. "See if you can find out by the next time I call."

Al chuckled into the phone. "Winry is going to be so mad if she finds out I told you. Please don't tell her."

"Ha, why would I? Trust me, I'm not that cruel. I have a mild idea what she would do to you" I rubbed my head in memory.

"Thanks, well I got to go do some chores. Do you want to talk to anyone else?"

I considered talking to either Winry or Granny but I didn't have any real reason to talk to them, might as well save some of my change.

"No thanks. Just tell everyone I'm alive and doing well."

"Ok"

"Bye Al"

"Bye."

I hung up the phone. Oh man, did that conversation just make my day.

* * *

I picked at the muffin I had bought, it was a chocolate chip one. Yummy. 

"Obviously a war will happen, they have already advanced on our borders. Its only a matter of time when our military makes a advancement on their regiments in the Great Desert." Enzo took a sip of his juice.

This conversation was boring.

Kurty thought before she spoke. "It's strange how they are just waiting out there in the desert. I mean, you would think they would just strike already."

Both Kurty and Enzo looked at me. Kurty spoke first. "Major Elric, what do you think?"

I groaned at the Major act. I suppose Kurty was trying to get back at me for her new nickname.

I shrugged my shoulders as I took a bite out of my tasty muffin. Ohhh, the chocolate morsels melting in my mouth.. how orgasmic!

Once I swallowed my food I replied. "I have no opinion."

Enzo poked me in the shoulder. "I highly doubt that. General Mustang told me you were living in Rizenpool when it got attacked. You have to have some sort of opinion."

I poked him back. "Well, I don't. I am an Alchemist. I'm not really into our country's hostilities."

Kurty stirred her coffee as she looked at me wistfully. "Hmm, well the war will affect you, especially now since your part of the military. You should care more Major Elric." Honestly I did care. Deep down I was terrified of what might happen, but, if I allowed myself to always be scared shitless than I was only going to give myself paranoia.

"If a war breaks out ask me then… I am sure I will give you a better answer."

Kurty sighed as she leaned back in her chair. "Who knows, maybe I will ask you."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'll be counting on it."

"So Edward, how does it feel to be back in the military? I mean, you did have a few years of absence. Does it seem any different?"

I twirled around the end of my braid between my fingers as I thought of Enzo's question. Did it feel any different? "I haven't really seen any familiar faces. The staff seems almost totally new. Is it different, yes. But, I suppose that's to be expected, we're under a new government rule now."

Kurty smirked at me. "Well, meeting new people isn't such a bad thing. It gives you an opportunity to make new relationships."

"Yea, I guess so. But I'm only here for a year. I don't really plan to make any lasting friendships."

Enzo laughed at my reply. I looked at him questioningly. "What's so funny about that?"

Enzo shook his head. "You need to lighten up Edward. It's not a horrible thing to make friends. Yea, you are here for a year, a year is a long time."

I stared into my coffee drink. Was I being uptight? The only people I really ever needed in my life were my brother and the Rockbell's.

"Yea, maybe a year is a long time. But I don't need any more ties or obligations to live up to."

Kurty took another sip of her drink before she spoke. "Major Elric, I think you're thinking to hard into the subject. Just relax and enjoy yourself while you're here."

My father used to say something like that to me when I lived in Germany. He used to complain that I was missing out on life. Maybe I was forgetting to live a little. For years my life was totally devoted to getting Al's and my body's back. After that, it was dedicated to getting home. Now that I had both, maybe I should relax a little more. Enjoy life while I had it. Maybe...

I sighed as I sat up in the chair. I ended up enjoying the rest of the conversation that night.

* * *

**Authors notes:**

Thanks everyone for your patients! Everything is fixed now and working again. Hopefully the next chapter should be done soon. This coming week is going to be my busiest week yet. But! After that it's easy sailing (because I'll be on summer vacation). Ok about future chapters length, this is what I have decided. At the moment I am going to keep the chapters long. Most people seem to like the long chapters but want quicker updates. Here is the deal. If I cant get my chapters out in a reasonable time period during summer then I will shorten my chapters. But I am going to wait till summer before I decide this. Thank you all for your inputs.

Han-Chan is now my beta reader. She seems to be very intellectual with good ideas. I want to thank her for her hard work. Thank you Han-Chan!

* * *

**Questions you may have...**

1. Umm… Rizenpool? Hello!

So your probably wondering why Amestris is not at war with Xing yet. They did advance on Amestris borders after all. Well, the answer is simple. Amestris doesn't want war! They are trying to avoid it cause they know they will lose. I will get more into this later.

2. Clause?

Does anyone know the proper way to spell this name? Every time I go to a different site I see a new way to spell it. I chose this way because fullmetal-alchemist website has it written like this (and the katakana seemed closest to this way). Anyways, if you have a better idea of how to spell her name I will be grateful if you told me.has been changed to Klose!

3. Kurt… Kurtis... Kurty?

Han-chan had placed the names in Japanese proper name word order (making Kurt being commonly used name). Well… seeing Kurt all the time kinda disturbed me. I went to a Shamisen concert that night and came up the thought of changing Kurt to Kurtis. Clause Kurtis sounded better to me. Then I was joking in my head and said Kurtis, I came up with.. KURTY! The name humored me so much I had to put it in.

4. Enzo

If you did not get the impression at all, Enzo is Spanish. Sexy Spanish at that.

5. Where is Havoc and all those guys?

They are all still around, everyone is just busy doing their own thing. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about them.

* * *

**Aharah Musici-** I of course corrected that immediately and emailed you about it. Thanks again! And thanks for the kind remarks at the end. 

**Katratzi-** Thanks for the review! Yea, I think the chimera idea is kinda cool too. Its interesting what some people come up with these days.

**Sorceress-fox-** Ahh! I need to talk to you sometime. I wish I would have thought about the jacket. A brilliant idea, but I couldn't steal your thoughts. And I am also doing my best not to leave the story at anymore cliffies (might be one or two in the future.. But I'll try to avoid them) Thanks for the review (like always!)

**Alpha no Kaze-** I was curious if you were still reading. Trust me, I don't mind redundant reviews.. But I am sure they get kinda annoying to write all the time. Thanks for the encouraging words!

**zip trip-** Your words are what inspired me to keep with the long chapters. Thanks for your insights! It means a lot.

**Mena-** Because of problems with my ff account I was having problems getting my next chapter out. Sorry it took so long!

**Priestess Kurumi inu's sister- **Like I said problem is fixed so I wont be needing to move the story. But thanks for responding!


	11. Again and Again

Don't Own Fma… But when I rule the world I will! 

The spelling of Clause (aka now Klose)! Ok, so I decided to get off my lazy butt and watch the anime to try and really spell this sucker. Well, I personally hear Koroze when I hear the Japanese saying of it. Japan spells the name in Kanji which I cant read so I had to turn to another translation that has the named spelled in hiragana (since it's spelled in hiragana we can already presume the name is foreign so I am a little curious of where its from). Anyways the hiragana spelling spells it Keroze. OK! Taking the Keroze spelling lets break this down. R in Japanese is slightly rolled so it sounds like L to Americans. In the series they also say the Ke extremely fast so it sounds like Kl... Ok, so when you get to ze it's said more like 'zay' in American standards. Now in American terms you would sorta be saying Klozay. But to me that looks super duper funny and sounds kinda funny the way an American would say it. So! I have decided for the final spelling to be Klose.

If I am incorrect in my theory then someone go ahead and correct me. Hey, I tried.

**

* * *

**

Held

By Gomp

I skimmed through another page of the record book. Nothing… absolutely nothing.

"Ahh this is frustrating!"

I was sandwiched between two back shelves of the 2nd Branch's library. The dusty old books carried a stale tasting air to them. I pushed my glasses up my nose bridge as I carefully turned a page of the tarnished book; its pages were old, stained, and brittle to the touch.

My eyes skimmed over the names, none of them matched my fathers. I was beginning to get the feeling I wasn't going to find anything about him. Most likely he went under a different name during his military days. It would actually be rather logical on his part if he constantly changed his name over the years. If that was the case than really I was just wasting my time. Grr.

I sighed as I placed the book down. I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes, I was getting a headache.

I pulled out the golden watch that had started this whole search. How old could this watch possibly be? It couldn't possibly be that old, considering the condition of the time piece, but then again my father was a perfectionist. Even if the watch was a thousand years old most likely it would look like it was brand new, stupid old perfectionist bastard.

I had talked to Sheshka earlier that day. Her mind of wonders went to work to see if she could recall my father's name in any of the records of 1st branch, no luck. She assured me that she had never crossed anyone with my father's name.

"God damn it!" I kicked one of the shelves. Dust flew up in the air causing me to sneeze. Ahhhh! At this rate I was going to end up in a big white padded room before I reached my 21st birthday.

I picked up the book I had been looking through and placed it back on the shelf, pushed myself into a standing position, and brushed some dust off some clothing. I desperately needed a break.

I walked out of the aisle and then past the various shelves that were lined up next to each other. Once I made it to the front entrance, I opened the front doors only to be greeted by a dark gloomy sky. Great, rain was coming. It was still early in the morning and I still had a full day of research ahead of me, I suppose really the rain didn't matter.

I began to walk down the front stairs when two certain people caught my attention. One of the men I hadn't seen in years so I walked towards them.

Enzo spotted me first. "Edward! I was wondering where you ran off to."

I stopped in front of the two men, ignoring Enzo's statement. Havoc turned around with a smirk gracing his lips, smoke puffed from his nostrils. "By God, you truly are alive."

I placed my hands on my hips. "Is that how you greet old associates? Besides, what do you mean? Is that a good or bad thing?"

Havoc pulled out his cigarette from his mouth. "Depends if you're still a snooty brat or not." I looked at him, not sure if he was joking or not.

Havoc grabbed me by the shoulders and rubbed my head with his knuckles in a playful manor. Ok, so I guess he was joking. "Wow Edward, you're almost as tall as me. You have grown so tall."

I pushed myself away from the man. Was my height always the first thing on everyone's mind? "What are you guys doing here?"

Enzo ran a hand through his shaggy locks. "We just had breakfast. I went by your room earlier to see if you were interested in coming, but you weren't there."

I shrugged. "I'm doing some personal research."

Havoc eyed me for a moment. "What type of research?"

I instantly knew what he was hinting at. I held my hands up in a surrendering gesture. "I am through with the Philosopher stone. My brother got his body back so I have no more use of it."

Enzo's head turned sharply at me. "Philosopher stone?" Heh, oops.

I smiled at him sheepishly. "It's nothing, just an old myth I used to research." I was hoping he would drop the subject with that, but Enzo had to be Mr. Persistent.

"What do you mean you got your brothers body back? Were the rumors actually true about your brother being a mere suit of armor?"

Havoc and I both glanced at each other. Enzo caught a whiff of something that was past history and none of his business. I sighed as I looked back at him. "Look, just drop the subject. My brother was never actually a suit of armor, it was just a rumor." Better to lie about it then to have to spill. Just to explain everything to him would take a lot more time then I was willing to waste.

Enzo shook his head. "Edward, your hiding something."

I growled at him. He was standing on personal ground that I didn't want anyone to cross. Havoc placed a hand on my shoulder to try and calm me. "Lieutenant Soto you shouldn't accuse Edward of lying. You are his subordinate; you're over stepping your rank."

I glanced at Havoc, shooting him a thankful nod. Enzo looked between the both of us, curling up his lip. I saw anger in his eyes I didn't think that Enzo held. "Yes sir, sorry Major Elric sir." His words were forced between clenched teeth.

I couldn't really blame the guy for being angry, if I could remember how many times I got pissed at having information blocked from me because of my rank. Ohh, his anger was practically nothing.

I looked back at the library that was behind me. "I think I'm going to head out, I have a lot more research to do. I'll catch you guys later."

* * *

I threw my red jacket over the back of the chair. It was only six in the evening, but my day had been exhausting. I went through most of the books in the library only to find nothing on my father. Honestly, I wasn't sure why I cared so much about the whole thing. So what if my father was a State Alchemist? It didn't really mean much of anything. 

I sighed as I threw my black jacket on my bed. It was strange, my father and I were more alike then I ever dreamed. Maybe that was why I cared so much, I had no reason to care really. My father was dea…

I opened the bathroom door and flicked on the light switch. I closed my eyes so I couldn't look at the mirror. I knew if I looked I would see my father's face looking back; it was times like these that I always saw his face looking back. I turned the sink on and cupped my hands under the faucet, the cold water felt good as I splashed it across my face.

Images of Envy flashed behind my closed eye lids.

"It's been almost a year… When am I going to forget..."

I allowed the cold water to drip from my face as I gripped the sink, my metallic fingers scratched loudly against the porcelain fixture. I always had time like these; times when I just wanted to have a mental shut down. There was never a real reason to why I had them… maybe because I was just human… I don't know.

I grabbed one of the towels hanging off the rack beside me and dried the water away from my face. I reached to flick off the light switch, but turned my head instead. This time I did dare to look in the mirror, I could see my father smiling back at me. I laughed at myself not sure if I was losing my own sanity or what, this was almost ridicules. I threw the towel into the sink and shut off the bathroom light.

I plopped down on my bed, not even bothering to take of my shoes. I folded my arms behind my head as I looked at the ceiling. The ceiling was white, nothing of interest.

All I needed was a distraction, something to take my mind off things. "I need a book." Yes I did like to talk to myself a lot; I use to always have my brother to talk to… I always needed something to fill the silence.

Al… I wondered what he was up to. Winry... Granny... I hated being alone, I just wanted to go home. I simply wanted to say "Screw all of this military crap" and leave for my home. Life never cut me any slack.

I sighed as I curled up on the bed. Yes, I was allowing myself to wallow in my own self pity. Pathetic… but I needed it. I needed my own personal time just to think over everything, to morn my losses. It's what allowed me to keep my head on straight for most of the day. I would think everyone needed something like that; no one was perfect in the world.

A soft knock on the door grabbed my attention. At first I thought I was just hearing things, but the knock came again.

"Hold on."

I stood up, stretching my limbs. I walked over to the door and opened it.

"Kurty?"

Kurty wasn't wearing her military uniform. She had on a tan skirt with a dark brown long sleeved shirt. Her hair lay loose around her shoulders. She actually looked rather nice if I do say so myself.

Kurty groaned at me and then spoke with annoyance. "Major Elric, please just call me Klose."

Oops, I suppose the nickname finally got to her. "Sorry... Klose."

Klose's face turned towards the floor as she shuffled her shoes. "Sorry I came unannounced."

I shook my head as I leaned in the doorway. "No, its fine, what are you doing here?"

She smiled shyly at me with her hands clasped in front of her, she reminded me of a school girl. "I was curious if you ate dinner yet, if not… Well, would you want to go to the café with me?"

I ran my metallic fingers through my hair trying to figure out if I had anything to do that night. Klose's eyes followed my hand movements very intently. Her eyes carried fascination as she watched my auto-mail. It was then I realized she never had seen my arm before. I held it out for her to see. "Interesting, eh?"

Klose reached a hand out and touched my auto-mail along the lower arm. "I always heard rumors about your arm… and your leg if I'm correct?" I nodded to confirm. "I just never actually believed them. When I first met you I remember your brother walked around with a suit of armor on, but I never knew you had auto-mail."

Everyone found it so hard to believe I had auto-mail, I never really understood why. Her fingers lingered over the cold metal of my arm.

"How?"

I groaned as I pulled my arm away, it was none of her business how. I turned swiftly and headed back into my room. I mumbled a: "Don't worry about it." before I grabbed my black jacket off my bed and walked back to the front door. "Let's just go eat."

Klose and I walked in companionable silence. The café wasn't far from the dorms; the walk only took about five minutes.

When we reached the café I held the door open for her. The café seemed packed and lively that night but the moment I walked in, the room fell relatively silent. The only sounds that were made were by some whispering here and there. I looked over at Klose not sure what was going on, she shrugged her shoulders helplessly. What the hell?

I glared around the room; everyone's eyes were glued onto me. Small little Goosebumps spread up my left arm. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable, too uncomfortable.

I quickly turned and grabbed Klose by the arm; I lead her through the doors again and to the outside world.

"What the hell was that?"

Klose blinked a few times, she didn't seem too sure herself. "There have been a lot of people asking about you around the office. Maybe words getting around that your back."

Great, just great, was that how people were going to react to me? I never liked having to much attention on myself. "If you want me to be honest it seems a little freaky in there. Can we go somewhere else? I'll buy."

Klose smirked. "Sure."

* * *

I leaned against the window sill. Rain was dripping freely down in the outside world, it was late and I had caught Roy by chance. He had come back to the office, forgetting some papers. I bumped into him on a late night stroll while I was still trying to figure out the whole café episode. 

My voice was quiet as I spoke. "They were looking at me."

I looked back at Roy to find him sitting at his desk with his hands clasped in front of him. "Edward, I already warned you of this."

"I don't want this!"

Roy sighed; his dark eyes gleamed slightly from the small desk lamp that provided the light in the room. "Rebellions are still happening all around Amestris, we could use you Edward. Do you understand that you could give this country hope?"

I stepped away from the window and walked right up to Roy's desk, I slammed my right fist hard against the oak furniture. My voice was low and threatening. "This is just perfect for you, isn't it? Tell me Roy, how long have you been waiting for me to get thrown back into the military so you could use me. I am NOT a HERO."

For the first time in my life I saw threat of death in Roy's gaze. He stood up from his desk, fixing me with a glare that made me want to shrivel in fear. Heck, for a man with one eye he could make milk curdle. "Edward, don't you dare accuse me of such things! All I have done is tried to help you."

I turned my head and stared at the ground beside me, he was right. Oh God did I need to just shut up and learn to think more clearly. My anger was something hard to control, and it always seemed to backfire on me. I backed away from Roy's desk and sat in the chair that was behind me. I covered my face with my hands. "I'm sorry. Really Roy, I am. I'm just…"

"Stressed out?" I pulled my hands away and nodded at him. "Everyone has been calling me a hero; people are trying to dig into my personal life. I just want this all to stop, I want to go home."

Roy gave me a gentle smile. Out of everyone on the base he knew the most about my past. It was odd because without me knowing it, Roy and I had grown a personal friendship. I could now talk to him about this type of stuff without feeling uncomfortable. Has time really changed us that drastically? Roy sat back down in his chair.

"Edward, I wish I could fix things for you, but I don't have that type of power. You are going to be called a hero and you will have people try and dig into your personal life. The best you can do is just try and ignore it."

I shook my head. "Is a hero someone who only thinks of himself? I never cared about the outside world; I only ever cared about myself and my brother. I can't take this hero crap anymore."

Roy ran his hand through his hair. His posture was slouched slightly, his eyes blinked a few times, it was obvious that he was tired and just wanted to go home. I growled at myself for taking up his time. "Roy, you should go home. You need to rest."

I was about to stand when Roy held his hand in the air, silently telling me to wait. He shook his head a few times before he spoke, his tone holding a bit of knowledge and devastation to it. "Would you call a killer a hero? Someone who killed innocent people merely on orders? The people of Amestris will because in their eyes I helped liberate Ishbar, I helped bring peace among the Ishbar people. But they are only seeing a false interpretation of the actual facts. Edward, you know personally what you and your brother have done, but not everyone is you. To the people you are a hero, but to yourself you know better. It's just how things will be, you can't fix it."

I knew I should have felt privileged to have Roy speak of Ishbar with me; it was a personal subject to him. But his words left me with no comfort and no honor; they only left a dull numbing-ness to my heart. I felt like I was fooling the world.

Roy noticed my look; he gave me a gentle smile. "Edward, you did help people, believe it or not you have done a lot of good for people in need. People that have known you personally have always spoken highly of you. Stop having such low self-esteem about yourself, you did do some good."

Low self-esteem… it didn't seem like proper terminology for how I was feeling. It was more like I had pity for the outside world. I didn't like knowing people had false thoughts and hopes on the actual truth. But then again, maybe I was the one not willing to see the truth. Ahh this was going to give me another headache.

"I'll think about everything you have said, and I appreciate you talking to me… give me time, maybe I can figure all of this out."

I pushed myself out of the chair. "I think you should go home, you look like your ready to pass out."

Roy stood himself, grabbing his cane which was next to his desk. "Edward, what really is a hero? Are we ones to really decide what others perceive a hero as being? Look, I know you are a stubborn Ox and will never accept yourself as being called a hero, but try and understand you just cant change other's opinions. For years I have struggled with being called a 'Hero of Ishbar'. With time I finally realized that even though I didn't consider myself as a hero… others did. So instead of wallowing in my own self guilt, I decided to try and better myself. I decided to try and give people a real reason to consider me a hero. I suppose that's the best you can do. You still have time to redeem yourself."

I smirked as I tuned and began to walk out the room. The moment I reached the door I stopped and looked over my shoulder. "Roy, thank you."

Roy shrugged his shoulders. "Anytime Ed."

He flicked off the light switch causing darkness to consume us. The only sound that was heard was the sound of rain pattering against the window sill.

* * *

I grumbled into the phone as I sat on the floor in the phone booth. Winry had called me early in the morning for no apparent reason at all; she just wanted to see how I was doing. Sure I appreciated the thought, but I defiantly didn't appreciate the time. And the officer who had to wake me up didn't seem to appreciate it either; I was going to have to apologize to him for my morning bitchiness. 

I fiddled with my braid as I spoke. Wow, did I have major split ends. "So did Den hurt her?"

"Nope, he just nipped at her tail. They were just playing."

"I see." A yawn escaped from between my lips as I rubbed my eyes, I pulled out my watch and looked at the time… it was 7:12 am, oh man. Winry usually slept in, I was baffled that she was even up this early.

"So how is the military going, are you enjoying yourself?" Her tone was even perky too!

"I don't know, I suppose its fine. I've made some friends."

Curiosity practically dripped from her tone. "Oh, who are these 'friends' of yours?"

I lifted an eyebrow even though I knew she wouldn't be able to see it. "I don't think that's any of your business."

"HA! I knew there was a girl involved."

My mouth went into a big O. What the heck was she accusing me of? "If you must know there is a girl involved, but it's not what you're thinking."

I could hear Winry snickering at me; she was making me feel sick to my stomach. When were people going to get it that my love life wasn't really of any importance to me. Sure I was a man and I did have hormones, but that didn't mean that I couldn't control myself. "Get your head out of the damn gutter, grow up."

"I am grown up; I think you're just the one acting immature. Come on Ed, tell me about this girl."

Winry sometimes really knew how to push my buttons. "Winry, this girl and I are not like that. We are just friends. I know in that fantasy land of yours you want to see everyone happy and in some deep dramatic love affair, but, uhh, not me. Besides, right now the only thing I am concentrating on is getting back to Al."

I could hear Winry sigh into the phone. In the past year Winry had grown a habit of picking at my love life, even though she lacked one of her own. I was pretty sure she knew that the only thing I really cared about was my brother. Did lustful thoughts of the female race haunt me now and then? Of course, but, um, my brother was always more important. It was just how things were.

"Al misses you a lot, and it's only been a week since you left. Granny and I miss you too Ed."

I smirked at the comment; I began to twirl the phone cord around my metallic fingers. An idea popped into my head. "Soo, why don't you guys come up and visit me?"

Winry went silent for a moment. Wahahahaha, I was going to make her spill. "Maybe, I don't know. We will have to see."

I groaned. Damn it, she didn't fall for my trap. "Winry, its boring here! Come on."

"It's not my fault that it's boring, you're a big boy; go find something productive to do."

I unwound the cord that was wrapped around my finger and tapped it against the marble floor. "I am being productive, that doesn't mean I still can't be bored."

"Edward, stop whining. Before you know it you will be off probation, you can visit us all you want then."

I pouted at the phone; the phone itself didn't seem to have much sympathy for me. Damn inanimate objects. "Fine."

"So, has Roy given you any assignments yet? What have you been doing to keep yourself busy?"

I frowned at her question. I was never one who spoke freely of my business life, especially after what happened to Hughes. The thought of Hughes caused my gut to twist in a way I didn't like.

"Don't worry about it."

Winry groaned rather loudly into the phone. I knew that the stuff I was doing these days was safe when compared to my research on the philosopher stone, but damn it, I just didn't like talking about it.

"Look Winry, I'm sorry. It's just nothing that is really of any importance."

"It's fine; there are just some things about you that haven't changed."

I wrapped my arms around my knees. "Yea, sorry."

* * *

After I got off the phone with Winry I had headed to the 2nd Branch's library. I had thoroughly gone through two rather large record books, but neither held anything important in them. So I decided to give up early and headed back to my dorm room. 

I now sat at my rather well aged desk finishing the last word on the report I was reading, I had finally gotten around to review all the papers Roy had given me about the attack on Rizenpool. Beforehand, I had practically forgotten about the reports since I shoved them in the bottom drawer of the desk, oops. But I suppose it didn't matter, the reports held no significance to me. They spoke nothing of chimera and spoke of nothing that would be news to me.

Chimera… I couldn't figure out how the hell that chimera had been created. It was so perfect, and didn't follow the laws of equivalent trade. If it wasn't Tucker who created it then who else could have done it? Well obviously there was someone else, since Tucker was now deceased.

And then there was the subject of Nina. I didn't really want to have to think about her, but it was a subject I couldn't avoid forever. Nina had been given a lifeless soul when her father tried to bring her back with the Philosopher stone. Her tale was a sad one, and it was one I held very close to my heart. I would never be able to forget the Nina I first met when I was child and the horrors Shou Tucker had done to her. It was something that haunted me in my dreams.

Even with a lifeless soul, Nina had been given a form of life again. But where was she? Did she survive these past four years or was she dead herself?

A knock at the door dragged me out of my thoughts. Bah, someone was always knocking at my door!

I pushed the chair away from the desk, stood up, walked across the room, and opened the door.

Enzo smirked at me while holding a rather large black bag, without invitation he walked into the room.

"Yes?"

Enzo laughed with glee as he placed the black bag onto the bed. "General Mustang ordered me to give this to you."

I walked over to the bed and stared at the bag. What the heck…

"And what's inside?"

Enzo shook his head at me, stubborn little prick. "Nope, you are going to have to find out for yourself."

I smirked as I looked at him. "Lieutenant Soto, I order you to tell me what's in the bag. I am your superior and you will follow my orders." Bwahahah, I loved power.

Enzo seemed displeased by my command. His eyebrows connected as he stood straight. "Sir, it's a suit for the Military Ball tonight."

I blinked a few times, I had totally forgotten about that stupid dance. "At ease, how the heck does Roy know my size?"

Enzo pulled at the zipper on the bag. Instead of the military dress uniform I had been expecting to see, I was greeted by a rather slick looking black suit. The undershirt was red and the bowtie was black. Roy knew me to well. "He mentioned something about Riza tailoring you a year ago. He wants me to make sure the suit fits you properly."

I sighed as I looked at the outfit. I hated dances with a passion. Especially since the last time I danced was in a rather odd circumstance. Cough, cough, Rose, cough.

Even though Rose wasn't exactly with-it during our little waltz, she ended up having to be the lead. Yup, I was that bad.

"If I am going to be forced to go to this stupid thing, then I plan to hang out on the balcony, would you care to join me?"

Enzo laughed at my remark and nodded at my question. "Of course I will, I would prefer to talk to you then some old military man who thinks to highly of himself."

"Cool I guess, in some strange weird funky twisted way, you could say we have a date together."

Enzo laughed again.

* * *

Going to the dance was practically one of the biggest mistake's of my life. The moment I had entered the ball room photographers and various other people had surrounded me with questions and comments. Before I had even truly realized it, I was the talk of Central. 

Oh God did I hate attention.

Oh man why did anyone even care!

Roy had saved my life, grabbing me and yanking me away from the offenders. I couldn't believe what had happened, how the hell did everyone even know?

Roy apologized to me profoundly; he never anticipated that type of reaction, heck, neither did I. Females then proceeded to try and swarm around me like a flock of seagulls, but Havoc, Fuery, and Armstrong had somehow frightened them away.

It was just a nightmare.

I had considered escaping back to the dorms but Enzo got a hold of me and snuck me into a dark corner while we waited for the commotion to die down. We then somehow, by God's blessed kindness, made it to the balcony without being noticed.

The night was chilly so almost no one ventured to the outside world. The only time we saw someone was when smokers came out for a smoke. But none of the smokers paid any heed to us.

"That was crazy."

I groaned as I held my head with my hands. "This is a joke right?" I kicked the balcony with my steal foot.

"Edward, don't you pay attention? Everyone has been talking about you."

For a moment I considered jumping off the balcony, that way I could end my suffering. But then again death didn't sound that appealing at such a young age. I wanted to live! "I have noticed, but being swarmed like I am some idol is not very comforting to me." The talk Roy and I had had the previous night felt like it was slipping away between my fingers.

"Give it sometime, this will all die down." I prayed that Enzo was right.

I looked out at the dark starry sky that covered the world. It was a beautiful night even though it was a cold one.

A tap on the shoulder grabbed my attention. I turned around to find Klose standing behind me. My mouth fell open.

Her dress was a dark sea of blue, fitting her body perfectly. It dropped in waves at the bottom and had a big bow in the back. Her hair was done up in perfect tight curls, her makeup looking very natural. I always thought Klose was attractive but this made her look almost… beautiful.

I shook my head. "Wow, you look very nice tonight."

Klose practically beamed at me. I looked over to see what Enzo's reaction was, but his eyes were fixated on me. His stare was eerie, it made me want to curl my toes, so I smiled at him not sure what else to do. He only looked at me with that same haunting gaze.

Klose seemed to get the tension which was between us; she grabbed me by the shoulder in a friendly manner as she addressed us both. "Are you guys having fun?"

I looked at Klose and gave her a reassuring smile. "Yea, even though I got bombarded by press earlier, the night seems to be looking up."

I looked back at Enzo but he now was looking over the balcony's railing. That look he had given me… what the hell? Enzo was one tough cookie to figure out.

Klose grabbed my attention when she began to walk toward to the ballroom doors. She clasped her hands together and smiled as she looked into the ballroom; the doors were French doors so it was easy to look inside. I walked up beside her so I could see what she was looking at.

The ballroom itself was a clash of gold and dark blue. There were long blue velvet curtains covering part of the doors so I could easily hide behind them without having anyone see me, yay.

The room was silent as everyone surrounded the stair case. I lifted an eyebrow at Klose, not sure what was going on. She pointed to the top of the stair case, silently telling me to look. I turned my head and watched.

Chairman Hakuro walked slowly down the stairs with his wife beside him. Some photographers flashed their cameras while everyone in the room began to clap. I looked at the whole scene confused.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean? It's Chairman Hakuro and his wife"

"Yea exactly, what's going on?"

Klose looked at me with surprise. "Edward, you're in the military. Chairman Hakuro is a very well respected man, you should know that."

I shrugged my shoulders at her. I didn't get it; no one acted that way when the other Chairmen had entered the room. Chairman Hakuro didn't seem that special to me.

But his office, he did have the nicest one. And the way he could per-sway the other Chairmen, maybe it did make a little bit of sense. "Why is Chairman Hakuro so well respected?"

Klose tapped a finger on her chin while she thought. "Well, he was a high ranking officer in the old government; I would think that's part of it. He's also very caring about the people and seems to have very good ideals. I suppose that's why."

Once Chairman Hakuro reached the floor, the music began to play again in a waltz. Everyone in the room went back to socializing and dancing.

I sighed as I leaned against the door frame. I looked behind me to see what Enzo was doing; he just watched me and Klose. Man could Enzo be weird.

Klose grabbed me by the upper arm; she looked at me with a smirk. "Come on Edward, let's dance."

"Waa! I don't think so. Besides I can't go into there." I pointed towards the ballroom.

Klose pouted at me. "We can do it right here. You're my friend right? I am a lady; I deserve to have a good night."

I rolled my eyes at her. What a female line to say. Ahh! I hated dancing. But Klose and I were friends; even if I did embarrass myself it wouldn't be that bad. "Fine, I'll dance with you once, but intern you have to give Enzo a dance. He's probably much better than me and he deserves to have fun too."

Klose laughed as she grabbed me by the arms. I looked over at Enzo; his eyes gleamed from the moonlight. That look, he gave me that look again.

* * *

I laid in my bed not really wanting to get up. My mind was still groggily and I wasn't too sure where my clothing was. "Go away! I'm sleeping." 

"Edward, General Mustang has some reports he wants you to look at. Besides, I have something I want to show you."

I groaned at Klose even though she probably couldn't hear it from the other side of the door. Somehow last night Enzo had gotten a hold of some bottles of wine and champagne. Enzo wasn't much of a drinker, but I found out that Klose was willing to share a few lovely drinks with me. The three of us had stayed on the balcony all night while just enjoying each others company. We spoke of tales of our past lives, I made sure to not include any of the years I was a State Alchemist and when my brother was a suit of armor, and talked of our hopes for the future. Both Enzo and Klose were very interesting people; they seemed very real and lively in their own way.

I forced myself out of the heaven of my warm sheets, stumbled for a second when I tried to stand, but with some concentration and determination, I got myself to stand up right. Klose knocked on the door again. "Edward, are you awake?"

"Will you hold on!" I searched for my clothing but I couldn't find it anywhere. What the crap, where did it go?

I looked down at myself. Oh, heck I didn't even have my boxers on. A deep red blush stretched its way across my face. I grabbed some of the sheets from the bed and wrapped it around my body; I couldn't believe I was about to do this.

I opened the door a crack, just so my head could peek out. Klose was in her military uniform, her eyes narrowed at me. "It's about time you woke up."

She held a newspaper to my face. I blinked a few times not really being able to read it because of my eyes. Luck may have it that my glasses were on the dresser beside me. I put them on and looked at the paper she was showing me.

My eyes shot open when I saw my face gracing the front page of the paper. In the picture I was being pulled away by Roy and was taking a glance over my shoulder. The picture wasn't very flattering.

Thank you heaven Klose couldn't see my body because my fingers went limp from shock and I dropped the sheets. I blushed again as I knelt down and picked the sheets back up.

In big bold letters the headline of this morning's paper was 'Fullmetal is Back in Action'. Shifting my hold on the bed sheets, I used one hand to grab the paper from Klose's fingers. This couldn't be good.

"Where did you get this?"

Klose laughed at me. "Edward, at a newspaper stand. You're the headline on all the papers, isn't it great?" I wanted to scream 'No it's not!' but I forced myself to stay calm.

"Hold on a second, let me change." I closed the door, not even waiting for her to respond. I held the newspaper in a tight grip. Oh shit, this couldn't be happening.

My back hit the door and I slide to the ground. I hated attention! I wanted to kill whoever was the photographer. I dropped the paper to the floor, I wanted it to burn.

Klose knocked on the door again. "Edward, hurry up and get dressed. We got to wake up Enzo; he's on duty in an hour."

I sighed as I pushed myself in a standing position. I grabbed the sheets and threw them back on the bed. Where in the world was the clothing I wore last night…

See folks, that's why you don't allow yourself to drink; you seem to loose valuable items.

I opened the bathroom door, 'lo and behold I found my suit. The clothing had been carelessly thrown into the bathtub. I smacked myself; I highly doubted that was a cheap outfit.

I pulled out the suit, dug out my boxers, and with a clap of my hands my boxers were magically clean. Yup, I was lazy and hated doing laundry with a passion. Alchemy, it's a gift from heaven.

I pulled on the cotton fabric and looked at myself in the mirror. Oh man, did I badly need a shower, but there was no time. I walked back into the bedroom and dug through my drawers to get my regular clothing. I threw them on in a haste, grabbed my photo ID, and glasses before I opened the bedroom door.

Klose was waiting for me outside. Her hands were on her hips as she looked me up and down. "Well aren't we Mr. Sunshine today? You look pretty bad."

"Thanks."

Klose pushed past me and grabbed the newspaper off my bedroom floor. "I think this picture is a nice one of you."

I shrugged my shoulders as I gestured for her to leave my room; I looked back into my room before I closed the door. Heh, my room was a pigsty.

We both walked towards Enzo's room, a short walk since our dorms were on the same floor. Klose smiled at me as she walked up to Enzo's door. "You know, he's going to love this picture of you."

I groaned. Great, just great.

Klose knocked on the door. "Enzo wake up, you need to get ready for work."

We waited a few moments for a reply, but there was none. Klose looked back at me while lifting an eyebrow. "Maybe he's just a heavy sleeper."

I shrugged my shoulders as I used my metal fist to knock on the door, my knock was much louder then Klose's. "Enzo wake up!"

Still there was nothing, I looked back at Klose. "Are you sure he's in? Maybe he went to breakfast."

Klose shook her head. "No I just got back from the café, he wasn't there. I can't think of anywhere else he could be."

I knocked again, this time even louder. "Enzo, get up!"

Silence still greeted us. I grabbed the door knob and turned it, the door was unlock. Klose grabbed me by the shoulder before I could open the door. "Is this alright? We probably shouldn't enter his room without his permission." I knew Enzo was an easy going guy so I didn't see any problems with it.

"Don't worry, it will be fine."

I pushed open the door, ready to yell at Enzo again, but no words would form when I saw what was inside.

Klose screamed as she backed against the hallway wall. I just stood there, in to much shock to move.

Blood...

So much blood... It was on the floor, on the ceiling, on the walls, especially on the bed. I swallowed hard as my heart began to pump loudly in my ears. Heh, another friendly joke, right?

I took a cautious step into the dorm room, my boot made a small splash sound as it stepped into a puddle of the red liquid.

On the bed laid something that was once human, now it was nothing more then a shredded piece of meat. Oh God, please, this couldn't be right. Why was there so much blood…?

I took another step into the room. My voice came out shaky. "Enzo?" A haunting silence greeted me.

I could hear Klose beginning to cry behind me, her cries were laced with "Oh my God's".

This couldn't be Enzo… Enzo was fine. He had to be, I was talking to him just last night. Enzo was too young to die, too nice of a person. He still had a bright future ahead of him. Maybe it wasn't him, or I was just seeing things…

By my feet laid a chunk of hair. The same colored hair that belonged to Enzo. There was just no question to who was lying on that bed.

Why did everyone die? I was still young yet everyone constantly died around me.

I fell to the ground, the blood soaking into my black pants. I used my hands to cover my face. Enzo couldn't be dead; he just couldn't be… What the hell was wrong with me!

I gave an agonizing scream.

* * *

Author's Note:

Would you call this a cliff hanger? I hope not… I do value my life somewhat. Ok! Some good news… I am half way through my next chapter! Bad news... I have a lot of finals this week. But I hopefully should get the next chappy out in a responsible time frame. Sorry that we had to wave Enzo off at such an early time… But things happen life goes on. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter though; I actually had a blast writing it.

Thank you Han-chan for being my Beta reader!

* * *

**Questions you might have...**

1. Do I have an obsession with death?

Well… maybe… But I assure you all these deaths do have some symbolic meanings to them. And I figure if people are to die... might as well make them interesting. Heh

2. Ed's love life?

Some people are probably rolling their eyes saying 'Men are horny! No way Ed doesn't want some love-love!'. I actually must say this belief is incorrect. Once upon a time I had a really good friend who just didn't care bout the love-love. Heck, I don't care about the love-love. To some people a love life just is not important. But! That doesn't mean I'm going to leave Ed alone. WAHAHHAHAHAH… excuse me as I dunk my head in the toilet.

3. Klose never seeing Ed's auto-mail..

In episode four when we are introduced to our friend Klose, she never does see Ed's auto-mail. Only reason I am saying this is because when I first wrote that I actually doubted myself and had to recheck the ep. So! Just to clarify.

**4. Roy and Ed's friendship.**

A year ago (ok more like 8 months now)when Roy first got a hold of Ed, Ed claimed that him and Roy were not friends. Well time changes budy! Roy is one cool cucumber so you will find that those two have formed a nice friendship especially since Ed is older and more mature.

**5. Nakey Ed.**

Did I enjoywriting that scene more than ever! How much would I love to be Klosein that scene. I can tell you one thing... I woulda thrown open that door and been on top of Ed in less than five seconds flat...

Oh dear, did I just say that.

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**The Monkey King-** Lol, yes I do agree there are a lot of yaoi fics out there. I am not against yaoi at all, heck I was really into it with Gundam Wing fics, but this story is being based off possible facts from the series and manga. Ed will be straight but I am not saying much about who he will be with. My reason for this is Ed's love life gets a little twisted. Bwahahhahah! Thanks for the compliments and the review. I like reviews >3

**Hidari-** Thank you for the compliments! I have recently gotten a proof reader so hopefully those typos will disappear. The past chapters I have been really trying to edit them but considering that I myself am the one who wrote them, it's kind of hard for me to see some of the typos. I am very happy you feel Ed and Al are in character. From other fic's I have read I think I have given Ed a little jump out of character, but I did it because of age. This fic, of course, is all about Ed but we will see Al come and go. Since Ed is at the military base at the moment Al's character is sorta in the dark, but he will be back! And for Edward and Winry, I have much enjoyment writing those two together. You will be seeing more of Winry but if your asking me to add some love between the two… Again I am not making any comments on Ed's love life. Must wait and see! Thanks for the review.

**Katratzi-** I am very happy everything is fixed! Thank you for mentioning that. Heh, I am glad you thought Enzo's character was interesting… but yup… I uhh… sorta killed him off, heh, heh. But I suppose you can say his death won't be hard forgotten. Thanks for the review!

**Harrah Musici-** Fixed everything you pointed out! Check back to chapter 10... I think I got the name thing right this time.. well hopefully. Thanks for the wonderful help!

**Sorceress-fox-** I tried emailing you but it says I can't! Can you please email me? You can get my email address in my profile. Thanks! And about Ed helping Klose after he becomes a state alchemist. Naa, he helped her before. Its ep.4 and Al and Ed were on the train to go meet Mustang about them becoming Alchemists. Ed doesn't get his license until episode 7 (discluding the first two eps)I believe. Thanks for the review!

**Kwela- **I am happy you live the point of view. I hope this update was quick enough. I actually surprised myself in how fast I wrote it. Thanks for the review.

**Lazerducky27-** I have read it spelled Klause many times too. When I read this review that's when I actually had a mental breakdown and was like 'I must find the truth!'. Yup, my Japanese teacher would be so proud of me if she knew how much effort I used to try and find the proper Japanese spelling. I really don't think any of us will know the truth to her name, but I very much appreciate the fact they you responded to my question on chap 10. Thanks for the review!

**AlereVenus-** I actually sent you an email about the cup question, I'm curious if you got it. I am a little confused of where you're talking about. Could you give me a tad bit more detail of the scene you're referring to? And about Ed and him transmuting clothing… I do know that Ed and his brother use to carry a suit case with them in the series, but I thought it would be funny if Ed all of the sudden got lazy since he didn't have his brother around anymore. I live at college now and you won't believe half the crap we do when it comes to avoiding to do laundry. I figured since Ed can transmute stuff, why not he just do it with his clothing. He can clean his cloths and make new clothing with the stuff he already has. Tee heh. Thanks for the review! I hope to answer the cup question for you soon.


	12. Silent Breath

I own the Fma world, believe it or not… 

Ok, so really I don't. Bite me.

* * *

Held

By Gomp

Roy placed a hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner; I promptly shrugged it off as I stared blankly at the bed. Military officials, various investigators, and the like were all crowded into the small dorm room, trying to piece everything together. I stood in the center of the commotion, feeling lifeless and helpless.

"Edward, you should probably leave."

"He was my subordinate; I have the authority to stay."

Roy ran a hand through his hair as he leaned close to me, he whispered into my ear so no one else could hear. "Edward, I am General, so, I have higher authority over you, don't force me to make a scene. Get out of the room; you don't seem in proper mental health to take on this case at the moment."

I wanted to yell at him for saying such a thing, but he was right. I dropped my head, ashamed of my own weakness. "Roy, what happened to him?"

"I don't know, we will have to wait for the biopsy reports."

I looked back towards the bed; people were poking and probing at the piece of flesh that was once Enzo. It was making me sick to my stomach just watching it; I was never one who was into gruesome scenes.

"I want the biopsy reports sent directly to me."

Roy raised an eyebrow at me, but I nodded my head assuring myself that I was right. "I will leave right now if you promise me I will get the reports."

Roy gave me a small smile. "They will be sent to you."

Roy turned to leave but I grabbed him by the upper arm to stop him, he looked at me curiously. "Yes?"

My eyes were still focused on the bed; I licked my lips before I spoke. "Roy… is it possible a chimera could have done this?"

"What do you mean?"

I closed my eyes remembering the night of the Rizenpool attack: the chimera grabbing the man in its claws, tearing him apart. "There's evidence of a major struggle and just looking at the condition of the body... that night… in Rizenpool."

Roy turned his gaze towards the body on the bed. "What are you trying to tell me Edward?"

"I don't know. That night… I saw a man in the same condition like this. The chimera…" I swallowed loudly. "I think it's possible a chimera might have done this."

Roy's mouth fell open slightly. We both stared at the bed as the morgue workers tried to lift the 'body' to place it in a body bag. But the moment they lifted it, chucks that I don't even want to know what, fell out of the body. That was it. I didn't even wait for Roy's response. I turned quickly on my heel and exited the room.

When I left the room I could feel a wave of nausea hit me, which in turn made me feel very queasy. I suppose the scent of blood and the horrific scene I had just witnessed was starting to get to me. I quickly headed towards my dorm room, but stopped for a moment when I saw Klose talking to a military officer in the hallway. She turned to look at me, her face seemed at peace. "Edward, are you alright?" Her calm tone seemed so out of place. How could she be so well composed after seeing something like that?

I didn't even bother to say anything to her. I just walked by her and went right to my room.

I quickly unlocked the door and walked right in, after shutting the door I made a beeline for the bathroom. I flicked on the light switch and then stared at the toilet. My stomach seemed calm enough that I didn't think I needed to stick my head in it. I stood there for a moment not really doing anything, just staring blankly at the white porcelain seat. My body felt numb all over, I felt fragile. Heh, maybe everything was going to be ok. Maybe… I mean, Enzo and I weren't really close. We just met each other about a week ago. Ha.

They always die; everyone seemed to die around me. Death, I hated death with a passion. Death… death… death…

I turned on the sink and cupped my hands under the cold water and then splashed it on my face. I wanted my brain to work right. I didn't want to think the things I was thinking. All my brain was doing was going into a little happy circle of all the death and atrocious stuff I had seen in my lifetime. All the little details I truly wanted to forget. My father, mother, Hughes, Greed, Envy, Enzo, so many more… oh God, was I getting so tired of all of this.

I looked into the mirror seeing my pale face and the hallow empty gaze my eyes carried. I could feel tears threatening to come but…

"Stop this." My voice was filled with so many emotions, emotions I couldn't even place. I wanted to scream but all I could do was produce a choked moan from sorrow. I was only 20 years old yet, I felt like I was more than hundred.

I smashed my right fist into one of the blue tiles on the wall, I heard a satisfying crack. I pulled my metal hand away and looked at the damaged tile, pieces of it falling to the floor. It was funny, that stupid tile actually reminded me of myself. I began to chuckle at the thought, I was truly cracking, wasn't I?

"SHUT UP"

I grabbed my head with my hands, trying to stop the throbbing. Death… it never stopped. It followed me constantly and most of the time it was my fault. I hated death. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. HATED IT!

I fell to the ground due to my weakened knees. This time tears were coming and there was no way to stop them. I didn't have Al to lean on anymore; I was by myself and had to deal with everything alone. I hated being alone.

"I need to stop this. Edward, get yourself together." My voice was a hoarse whisper. I had to calm down or I honestly was probably going to do something stupid. I was rocking myself at this point, trying desperately to comfort myself as the tears fell to the cold floor.

Years ago I was so strong. I was Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, egotistical little numb-nut who could take on the world. Back then I had a purpose in life. What happened to me? Now I was nothing more then a pathetic man begging for the world to stop turning. I thought you were supposed to get wiser and stronger with age. Not weaker and sadder.

My lower legs were beginning to feel stiff from the drying blood. It was Enzo's drying blood.

I made the short crawl to the shower stall and flicked the water on. I began to fiddle with my black jackets top button… if I got a shower I could wash the blood away and hopefully put some life back into me. I threw off my black jacket but just gave up from there. I crawled into the tub still fully clothed. Little streams of blood ran down to the drain as the water spray hit my black pants.

The warm water felt nice. My breathing was becoming calmer and my heart was returning to normal even though the tears didn't want to stop. I just sat in the bottom of the bathtub while trying to allow reality to sink in.

* * *

I laid in my bed while I stared at the blue wall. I had curled myself into a pillow while trying to make myself more comfortable. I had thrown off my wet clothing long ago when I had finished my shower. Now I just laid in my boxers while holding my fathers gold watch loosely in my grasp. My hair was undone, out of its braid; the dampness of it caused it to stick to my bare back. 

I wasn't sure how I was feeling, I wasn't really upset and I sure as hell wasn't very happy either. I suppose I felt like I just existed. I had no motivation to do anything but to lay there.

I wasn't sure why Enzo's death set me off the way it did. It was like everything I had seen in my life time hit me all at once. I gave a chuckle. I truly was pathetic these days; I really needed to grow up. Living on my past was never going to allow me to move forward.

Enzo's death was so sad in its own way, maybe because he was so young. He had so many ambitions in life and was still innocent from what I knew. His death was obviously violent and whoever had done it had obviously shown no mercy. I curled more into my pillow. Was that how I was when I killed? But then again, the people I killed were always the bad guys, not some innocent man who was peacefully sleeping.

Who could have done such a thing to him? If it was the same chimera I saw then there was no way it could have gotten into Enzo's room without someone noticing. But the condition of his body… could another human really do that to someone? It was so inhumane.

There was a knock on my door. I turned and looked at the wooden fixture, but stayed silent; hoping whoever it was would just go away. I wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone.

"Edward, I know you're in there."

I sat up surprised, the person who called out to me was Roy Mustang, he always sent Klose when he needed me. But then again, it was very possible that he let her off early because of the morning's events.

"Edward, if you do not open this door I'm coming in, the door seems to be unlocked."

I groaned for forgetting to lock it. I didn't really want Roy barging in, so I did as I was told, I stood up and walked to the door. I opened the door slightly, not enough for Roy to get a good look at me. Roy stood outside my door with his cane holding him up right. His eye narrowed at me.

"Edward, you have been in here for almost the whole day."

I looked at him not sure what to say. I couldn't really defend myself since he spoke the truth. "Just leave me alone."

Roy shook his head. "Edward, I can't do that. Are you fully dressed?"

I placed my head on the door frame, my eyes were downcast. Roy was never one who could take a hint. "Roy, leave me alone."

Roy placed his hand on the door, but he didn't push it open. He peered throw my bangs to look at my face. His tone held a softness to it that you would use with a child. "Edward, I know you and Enzo were rather fond of each other, and I do sympathize for you. But, I do need you to get dressed; I have something I must show you."

I took a deep breath as I looked up to face Roy; he looked at me gently like a father would to his son. Great, last thing I needed was Roy to play dad. "What do you need to show me?"

Roy lifted both of his eyebrows in an innocent manner. "Well, you won't find out unless you come with me."

Mustang could be really evil at times. "That's not really fair."

Roy shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what to tell you, life isn't always fair." I gave a snort at that, because that was the understatement of the century.

"Roy is this really important? I am honestly not in the mood to screw around."

Roy gave me one of his famous smirks, the one he used to make girls drool all over him. I stared at him not sure why he would smirk at me like that, 'cause trust me, I had no plans of becoming one of his fan girls. He was just being mischievous. He pushed the door open slightly so he could get a better look at me.

"Edward, dress yourself." He looked me up and down. "You look like hell."

I groaned at him as I ran a hand through my bangs. "Thanks, you really know how to brighten my day." It was funny; most military personnel wouldn't dare to wear only their underwear in front of their superior officers. But guess what, I didn't give a hoot. Please Roy! Kick me out of the military for being disrespectful! It would make my life a hell of a lot better.

Roy pushed the door open the rest of the way, I moved out of the way so he could come in. He looked around my room; I still hadn't cleaned it so it was still a pigsty. "You live like this?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I headed towards the bathroom. "Yes, I do."

Roy picked up a pile of papers that was on my desk chair and plopped them onto the desk. He then proceeded to take a seat. "I see."

I shut the bathroom door before Roy could say anything else. So what if my room was a mess? I was the one living there and it never really bothered me.

The clothing I was wearing earlier was strewn all around the tiny bathroom. I picked up the still wet articles and placed them in a nice pile, with a clap of the hands I used alchemy to evaporate all the water particles. Seriously, alchemy was a revolutionary method of clothing care, I swear.

I struggled getting some of my clothing on since the bathroom was so small. After accidentally banging into the wall for about the twentieth time, I was finally fully clothed. I simply threw my hair into a loose ponytail and exited the room.

Roy stood the moment I left the bathroom. I gave him a glare. "You better have a good reason for dragging me out of my room. Seriously Roy, I don't care if you're General, if you're just messing around with me I won't try to restrain myself from hurting you."

Roy held his hands in a surrendering motion. "Edward, I guarantee you that I have a good reason. I actually won't be surprised if you thank me later."

"Ha! I highly doubt that."

I followed Roy out of my dorm room and allowed him to direct me towards his office. When I passed Klose's desk I noticed she wasn't there. I really hoped she was ok. I knew she seemed fine when I last saw her, but most likely during that time she was still in shock. I mean, her and I were both Enzo's friend. And seeing what we saw…

I shook my head as I turned back to Roy who was opening his office door. He turned to me before he opened it all the way.

"Edward, come on."

I began to walk towards the door but stopped dead in my tracks as Roy opened the door the rest of the way. Even though my mood was still dampened, I couldn't help but smile. That's what my brother could do to me; he always had the ability to make the world look good even though hell was freezing over.

Was I seeing right?

Alphonse and Winry were sitting on the couch; both turned their heads at the same time to look at me. Al jumped from the couch when he realized it was me. "Brother!" He ran towards me with his arms open. I leaned down so we could grab each other into a massive hug. Oh God, was I in desperate need of that hug.

"Al, you're… you're here?"

I could feel Al's head nod against me. He whispered into my ear. "Didn't I tell you we were going to come?" I couldn't help but smile. Oh man, did I need my brother more than ever.

I looked up at Winry who was now standing beside us, she gently smiled at me. I mouthed a 'thank you' before I buried my head into my brother's shoulder.

Well, I wasn't alone anymore. Even if it was most likely just for a short period of time.

Roy was right; I was going to have to thank him later.

* * *

"You called me at 7 in the morning because you were bored?" 

Winry smirked at me. "Well, I was antsy about the train ride and couldn't sleep. I figured waking you up wouldn't be that big of a deal."

I rolled my eyes at her. "You could have told me you guys were coming."

Winry folded her arms across her chest. "What are you talking about, you were already informed." She pointed towards my brother. "It seems Al had no problem telling you, it was _supposed _to be a surprise. Roy and I both agreed that it would lighten your mood more if we surprised you."

I sighed as I looked at Al who was across the café; he was being entertained by Armstrong and Havoc. I snickered as Armstrong tried to pick Al up, but Al screeched in protest.

I looked back at Winry. "So you're staying with Ms. Hughes?"

Winry nodded. "Gracia is giving us her two guestrooms. Ed, you're also invited to stay with her."

I looked down at my drink. Oh yea baby, coffee all the way. "I don't know, a lot has been going on here, and after Mr. Hughes…" Wriny reached over the table and placed a friendly hand over my left one. I looked at her hand unsure, Winry and I rarely touched each unless we sought it necessary. This meant whatever she was about to say, she wanted me to really listen.

"Ed, that was years ago. I think its time you put things to rest." I looked back at my coffee, an old ache returned to my heart. The guilt of Hughes still lingered inside me. Ms. Hughes still had no clue why her husband truly died. I shook my head.

"I still don't know if I can leave base…"

Winry's hand squeezed mine which caused me to look back at her. Her smile was soft and understanding. "Roy told me about what happened to your friend, its ok." When was Roy ever going to learn to keep his bloody mouth shut?

My throat felt dry all of the sudden, I had to swallow to try and give it some moisture. "I see." I sighed not sure what else to say.

Winry pulled her hand away and picked up her fork, she used her fork to poke at the meat on her plate. "If you don't want to leave base its fine. Al and I can just come back in the morning if you want."

I shook my head; that would be pointless. I really would have loved to investigate Enzo's case more but, until I got the biopsy and lab reports, I was going to be in the dark. I had no clues or hints to what could have happened to him. There was no one to point a finger at, yet. And Ms. Hughes… sooner or later I was going to have to face her.

"As long as it's ok with Ms. Hughes that I come, I suppose its fine by me."

Winry smiled.

* * *

Ms. Hughes looked at me with bounds of curiosity. Hey, I couldn't blame her. It had been years since we last met and at one point she most likely thought I was dead. But there I was, in the flesh, years older and taller. Oh yes… taller. 

"Winry has told me so much about you in the past year. My, what a young man you have become." Only if she knew I had been crying like a baby earlier that day, she defiantly wouldn't be calling me a man. I smiled at her as I took a sip of my tea. "Thank you."

All of us were gathered in Ms. Hughes's living room. Al and I sat on the couch while Winry and Ms. Hughes sat on the sofa across from us. Elysia was held firmly on Ms. Hughes lap.

Elysia was so big now, not the small child I remembered. She was becoming a beautiful young lady. I was positive that Maes would have been very proud of her.

"I'm glad you decided to come Edward, my house is always open to you anytime you want to visit." I scratched my head sheepishly. "That's a very kind offer Ms. Hughes."

Winry clasped her hands together as she leaned forward. "Gracia has shown me lot's of new recipes. Maybe tomorrow she and I can make you boys a nice meal." I internally rolled my eyes. Winry was one hell of a scary cook. She became psycho in the kitchen and her food never turned out right, I felt bad for Ms. Hughes for having to deal with her.

Al gave a toothy smile as he nodded his head. "That sounds like a good idea Winry." He then proceeded to elbow me hard in the stomach, already knowing my reaction and silently telling me to be nice. I forced a smile on my face. "Yea Winry, sounds good." I glared at Al because that really hurt. Al only looked at me innocently… that jerk.

Elysia gave a very loud yawn; Ms. Hughes looked at her daughter carefully. "Elysia, are you ready for bed?" Elysia nodded, her long hair swaying a bit. "Mom, I'm tired." She began to rub her eyes as she jumped off her mothers lap.

Ms. Hughes stood and straightened her skirt. She gave us a soft smile. "I will be back; I need to put my daughter to bed."

I nodded my head and waved my metallic hand. "Goodnight Elysia." Elysia looked at me unsure. She didn't have many memory's of me which wasn't surprising, so to her I was a stranger. Her voice was soft and shy. "Goodnight."

Ms. Hughes and Elysia walked up the stairs and out of our sight. I took another sip of my tea as I looked at my brother and Winry. "What else do you guys want to do tomorrow? I have leave for the day so I'm all open." Boy did I love being Mustang's friend at times. He always gave me days off whenever I wanted. Wahaha!

Winry tapped her chin with her finger. "Hmm… I'm not sure. Ohh! We could look at some auto-mail stores."

I groaned at her obsession, auto-mail was always the first thing on her mind. "Winry, please don't drag Al and I along on your shopping adventures. Besides, why not go to a real store like normal girls? Like go buy clothing or jewelry." Honestly, if Winry ever did become one of those types of girls, I would probably strangle myself. Wasteful materialistic girls always annoyed me to some degree. But boy, did I love harassing Winry.

Winry folded her arms as she sat back in her chair; she turned her head to the side while scrunching her nose. "Edward, what type of woman do you take me for? Next time you need your arm or leg fixed, don't come rushing to me."

"Winry, who's the one who mostly finically support's the auto-mail business of Granny and yourself? You need to learn to appreciate your best customer more."

She pointed at my outfit. "This is coming from a man who can't even buy new clothes? How many years have you been wearing that getup?" Oh she did not just talk about my outfit that way! "And anyways, what do you mean me and Granny cant support ourselves? You were missing for how long? I think Granny and I made out just fine in your absence. We don't need your money to support our business, so naa."

"Ha, what a joke! My clothing has nothing to do with this! Let's look at your outfit's. I still see you wearing that ugly green tang top and black skirt. Heck, let's look at you now! Who wears an oran-" My sentence was swiftly stopped by Al's hand cupped over my mouth. I looked at him, surprised by his action. His voice came out threatening.

"Will you two keep your mouth's shut! I swear, every time I put you two together your like little children. This is ridiculous!"

Al stood up. "When you two grow up, come and get me. I'm going to my room."

I watched Al walk out of the room, me and Winry then turned to look at each other.

"Are we really that bad?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess so."

* * *

"Ha, yea, I suppose so. Roy can be one heck of a tart when he's doing work around the office." I was laying on my makeshift bed on the floor while staring at the white ceiling. The oil lamp on the bed stand was the only light which was being provided in the small room. 

Al's head peered from the side of the bed; he swung his arm playfully at me which I easily caught. I laughed at his childish display. He smiled at me. "You should make Roy get off his butt. The military sounds so boring."

"Trust me, it is. I would much rather be home with you guys then be here." I allowed Al's arm to go free. He used it to push himself back in to the bed and flipped around so he was looking at the ceiling also. "Ed, are you going to be safe in the military? I mean, the story's you told me…"

I sighed not really sure if I was safe. And I meant that physically and mentally, but there was no point in worrying my brother. "Don't worry about me Al, I'm a big boy. I'm mature enough to take care of myself."

My brother's laughter rang out in the small room. He quickly turned his head and looked down at me again. "I don't think so Ed. Sure, sometimes your mature, but other times… I don't know. You worry me."

I poked him in the nose. "If I was always mature then what fun would there be in life?" I knew personally that I missed out on a lot of my childhood. I mean, I am not really upset about it since it was mostly my choice, but it was a fact. When I went to the other side of the gate I began to realize that I was too serious in life. When I went in search of the Philosopher's stone I knew I had to be serious, but once I obtained it… what point was there to my seriousness?

Al folded his arms in front of him. "Well, just be safe."

I gave a shrug. "Aren't I always?"

Al shook his head while taking on a humorous tone. "I don't think so."

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to try."

Al nodded as he scratched the side of his head; he then started to tap his two pointer fingers together. "So, I saw your picture in the newspaper today. I never knew you were that famous." I groaned as I hid my face in my hands. "Ahh, don't look at that crap. It's all nonsense."

"I don't think so, I think it's cool."

I peeked at Al through the cracks of my fingers. "Really?"

Al nodded. "Winry told me not to mention it; she said that you most likely weren't pleased about it. I guess she was right." I was surprised Winry knew me that well. I sat up, causing the bed sheets to bunch up in my lap.

"When you and I were younger, we did a lot of traveling and ended up helping some people. Most the time we helped people just because we needed to, not because we wanted to. People are making a big fuss thinking I'm some type of 'Hero of the People'. It's just gibberish."

Al lifted an eyebrow at me. "How is it gibberish? Didn't we still help them?"

"That's not the point. We did it for our own gain. Most of the time we did it to just get closer to the Philosopher's Stone. Roy says if I just start helping people now then I can live up to this hero crap. I see what he's saying, but I'm still having a hard time agreeing with him."

Al sighed as he pushed himself up; he swung his legs around so he was now sitting on the edge of the bed. He leaned forward while using his hands as a chin rest. "Ed, I think that you think too much into things, stop being a scientist who analyzes every detail. I think Roy is right, if you're having such a hard time accepting the fact people think you're a hero, then why not become one."

I looked down and stared at my toes that peeped out from the blankets. Al wasn't supposed to agree with Mustang, he was supposed to see my side! "Al, you suck."

Al poked me in the face with one of his toes. Eww, I don't like toes in the face. "'Suck' isn't a very nice word to use."

"I can use whatever terminology I want."

Al smirked. "And this is probably why you will end up being a bad influence on me."

I laughed at him as I grabbed him by the leg and yanked him off the bed. He wasn't too pleased with my knuckle sandwich.

* * *

It was early in the morning, and only Ms. Hughes and myself were up. I was awoken by a loud creaking sound, Ms. Hughes had planned to wake up early and make some breakfast. I had crawled out of bed and followed the woman down to the kitchen; I needed to speak to her alone. 

I owed her an explanation about her husband. I wasn't sure if it was right to remind her of such a painful incident that happened years ago, but, was it right just to pretend like I had no involvement? Hughes had died for my sake. All I knew was I had to tell her, and so I did.

"If only I would have known, I could have possibly saved him."

Ms. Hughes gripped her coffee mug; her hair fell over her eyes. My heart was pounding loudly in my own ears, but I wouldn't look away. I had to watch her because… I just had to.

"I'm sorry."

Ms. Hughes shook her head. "Edward, please…" Her voice was laced with pain that came straight from the heart. It made my own heart constrict.

Ms. Hughes hadn't changed much since I last saw her. Her hair was still short; she still bore her wedding ring on her ring finger. She was still the beautiful wife of Maes Hughes, the man I was once was so close to.

"If I would have known…" I took a deep breath; my voice was starting to weaver. Great, the last thing I needed was for it to crack. "…I could have saved him."

A stray tear fell to the table from Ms. Hughes hidden eyes. Oh God, did I want to comfort her in some way, but I couldn't think of anyway to do that. I was the one causing the pain… how could I make her world feel better at the same time?

Her voice was quiet. "Edward, how do you feel about this?"

It was an odd question for her to ask, in my opinion. I thought I had expressed myself rather well, but I answered her anyways. "Angry, upset, guilty-"

Her voice cut into my words. "Why do you feel guilty?"

Why did I feel guilty? Such a simple question, but it was so hard to answer. I ran a nervous hand through my bangs and down the back of my ponytail, same way my father did. "I feel guilty because it was my fault."

Ms. Hughes lifted her head and I could see a few tears sneaking away from her eyes. They left a salty trail down her face. "How was it your fault?"

Her gaze was steady with mine as she waited for an answer. It sent tiny goose bumps up my real arm. "Your husband did research for my sake, he found something that wasn't suppose to be found, so in turn he lost his life for something so… insignificant."

Ms. Hughes reached over the table and grabbed both my hands which were folded in front of me; I looked at her hand curiously. "I don't understand how that is your fault."

My eyes shot up. What did she mean? "Ms. Hughes, if your husband hadn't been involved with me, he would still be alive."

Ms. Hughes shook her head. Her short hair swayed. "My husband made a choice. He died trying to help you boys, it makes me proud."

"No." My voice fell short to my own ears. She couldn't say that. How could she? "Ms. Hughes, your husband…"

She held a finger to my lips, silencing me. "Edward, don't feel guilty over my husbands death, I beg you. Maes would have never wanted that and neither do I. You didn't know."

I shook my head. She wasn't allowed to say that. She couldn't forgive me so easily! My voice sounded desperate to my own ears. "You can't say that."

"Edward…"

I closed my eyes tight. No! She couldn't! It wasn't right! I killed Hughes! "Ms. Hughes YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I regretted my words immediately since I said them loudly and harshly. Out of everyone, she would be the one who understood the most.

Arms were around me instantly, I didn't even hear her get up and walk around the table. My voice came out choked. "I killed him."

She held me close, whispering in my ear. "No you didn't, its ok Ed."

My hands fell limply to my side. I wasn't the one who was suppose to be upset, it wasn't suppose to go this way. I felt a tear run down my nose as I buried my face into Ms. Hughes stomach. I thought after yesterday the tears would stop. I was beginning to feel so beaten and worn.

My voice was muffled by the fabric of her night gown. "You can't forgive me like that."

"But I can, and I did."

* * *

"I think it's good to be away from base for a day or two." 

Winry and I walked side-by-side along a dirt path. My brother and Elysia were swinging on the swing sets with Ms. Hughes watching them. Ms. Hughes turned to me and shot me a small smile. I gave her a tiny smile back, both of us sharing a now silent understanding.

It was a nice day to be hanging out in the park.

"A lot has been happening, it sounds like."

I eyed Winry. "Yea, I guess you can say that."

I stopped at a bench and sat down, Winry sat right next to me. Al and Elysia were playing right in front of us. I smirked as my brother tried to jump in a mid-swing, but Ms. Hughes yelled at him to stop.

"What about that friend of yours, how are you taking his death?" For a moment the image Enzo's dead corpse danced behind my eyes. But as quickly as it was there, it was gone. Too much death was toying with my mind.

I sighed as I turned my head to look at Winry. She looked back at me with concern written all over her face, I wish she wouldn't look at me like that. I didn't really want to talk to anyone about Enzo especially since my thoughts were still consumed with Mr. Hughes and the morning's events. "I'm fine."

"Edward… do you really mean that?"

I pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear while trying to divert my eyes away from her. I knew I was still upset about Enzo, but I was beginning to become totally emotionally drained, I honestly just didn't want to think about that type of stuff anymore. I was with my family; I wanted to feel happy and good for once. The pain was meant only for me when I was alone to think about it. "Winry please, just drop the subject."

Winry grabbed me by the chin, holding my face tightly. She forced me to look at her. "Edward, why are you so difficult?"

I frowned at her words. "Winry…"

I was about to say more, but was stopped by a tug on my pants. I looked to the side of me to find a kid no older than 10 looking up at me. I looked at him curiously; he only gave me a toothy grin.

"Sir, are you the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

I blinked a few times. Great, someone recognized me. I was about to say no when Winry spoke first. "Yes, this is Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist." I glared at her, she wasn't helping me any. She gave me a devilish smirk.

The little boy's eyes went wide. "Wow, really?"

I looked back at the kid and gave a nervous laugh. "Uhh, yea. Now that you know you can move it along." I was going to kill Winry. Oh yes, she was going to die, a very horrible and tragic death at that.

"Hey mom! It's him!"

I narrowed my eyes at the child. "Hey kid, didn't I tell you to move it along?"

The little boy shook his head at me innocently as he swayed back and forth on his feet. "My mom was the one who wanted me to ask." Oh what a prune! Who would get their child to do all the dirty work?

A woman who seemed a few good years older than me walked up to us. She grabbed her son by the shoulders and smiled. "You're really the boy from the papers?"

I groaned as I nodded my head. Man did I plan to beat Winry up, I didn't care that she was a girl.

The woman's smile broadened. "I remember when I first heard about you, it was around the time I had my son Johnny here. Johnny, this man has done a lot of good for this country." Oh my God! Don't say that.

"I think your giving me too much credit."

The women shook her head, causing her curly hair to bounce. "No, no, you were the youngest State Alchemist ever. During your years in the military you helped a lot of citizens. You're an amazing young man. I can't believe that your back, rumors went around that you were dead. Oh, and is this your girlfriend?" I was sure my face paled, and then I could feel my cheeks begin to warm. I hated it when people asked if Winry and I were a couple. I was about to snap something at the women but Winry firmly placed her hand over my mouth.

"We're friends m'am. Edward, maybe we should go now."

I grabbed her hand from around my mouth and pulled it away. I nodded, agreeing with our leaving, and we both stood to leave. But there was another random group of children walking towards us. They all started to scream and cheer my name. How in the world was everyone recognizing me?

Well, maybe the park wasn't such a great idea after all.

"Fullmetal Alchemist! It's really the Fullmetal!"

People were beginning to hear the group of children and were starting to crowded around me. Were these people crazy!

Someone grabbed me from behind, wrapping their arms around my shoulders. In a high pitch squeal the female said, "Is it really Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

I began to turn and was about to ask the woman to let me go, but holy balloons it was a man! A very scary looking man. He shoved my face into his chest as he gave me a crushing hug. "It really is you."

I pushed myself out of the hug. What the hell was wrong with these people!

I always hated attention.

"Will you people just leave me alone!"

My voice was drowned out from all the cheering. I wasn't even sure where all these people were coming from. What the heck was I supposed to do? Winry grabbed me by the upper arm. She leaned and whispered into my ear. "Ed, I'm sorry. I never thought…"

I glared at her. "Teaches you for not thinking."

I could only groan as the group around us persisted.

* * *

"You should be happy that there was a police officer near by. Without him we probably would have never escaped that crowd." 

Al kicked me from under the table. I looked at him not sure why he just abused me.

"Ed, stopping trying to make Winry feel guilty, she didn't know."

I knew Al was right. I was more pissed off at the crowed than Winry herself. "I just don't get why they did that."

"Brother, are you really that dense? You should be grateful that people care about you that much. I thought it was neat."

"Next time it happens I'll make sure your right next to me. Then you can find out how neat it truly is."

My brother stuck his tongue out at me before he took a bite of his food. I turned to my plate and stared at the piece of dough that was supposed to be my dinner. I wasn't really sure what it was, all I knew was Winry made it. I cautiously poked my fork into it. Luckily, it didn't spontaneously combust.

"Ed, are you really mad at me?"

I looked up at Winry who was twisting her napkin in her hands. What a girl. "Am I mad? Well I'm a little ticked off but it's not like I'm going to hold it against you."

Her eyes brightened somewhat. "Great! Then eat your dinner already. I worked pretty hard on this one, tell me what you think."

My eyes rounded as I looked at the thing that was on my plate. Tell her what I thought? Al kicked me again from under the table again, great.

I carefully dug my fork into the big round dough ball. Some leaky green colored liquid dribbled out of the small hole I made. Why was Winry so cruel?

For the millionth time that evening Al kicked me from under the table. I glared at him. He mouthed to me 'Eat it'. I clenched my jaw, he was so lucky that he was my brother, if he wasn't I would have been tempted to kick him back with my steel foot.

With much hesitation I placed the small piece of dough into my mouth.

I couldn't really explain the taste. It actually wasn't as bad compared to some other of Winry's creations, but it wasn't that great either. It had a lemon taste to it; all of Winry's creations had a lemon taste to it. I swallowed the piece quickly so the taste wouldn't linger in my mouth. I forced a smile on my face. "Pretty good Winry."

Winry smiled gleefully as she dug into her own plate. Ms. Hughes had made desert so I suppose all the suffering I was going through would be worth it in the end. Ms. Hughes was one of the best cooks around.

Speaking of Ms. Hughes…

"Edward, what time is that meeting again tomorrow?"

I looked at Ms. Hughes who was playing with her food. "It's pretty early in the morning, I think around nine. I'm taking Al with me, he's going to hang out in my dorm while the meeting happens, then I'm giving him a tour of the place." I smiled towards my little brother.

Finally Al and I were going to spend some quality time together. I had a mandatory meeting that all the military personnel were being forced to attend, but after that Roy was allowing me to leave. I only had Winry and Al for tomorrow, the next day I was waving them off. It was going to be hard to let them go, but Granny was still back in Rizenpool maintaining a full house, I couldn't be greedy.

"That sounds like it will be nice."

I nodded as I poked at the dough ball again.

Yea, it was going to be.

* * *

Authors note:

Well, it's my birthday today and I felt like giving you guys a present. I know it's supposed to be the other way around, but what can I say? My brain is starting to deteriorate with age. >3

Ok, so I know this chapter doesn't do much for the plotline, but I did need to give Ed a tiny break fromhis new military career. Things will start picking up again by the next chapter. Speaking of the next chapter, I'll have that posted very soon! I must thank Han-chan for doing an awesome jobat being my beta reader and I must thank Egypt who has been pre-reading my chapters and telling me her opinions. Cant do it without you two!

I know this chapter had some corny moments, but I'm a corny person. So forgive me if I went out of writing style for the park scene and the cooking scene. I just thought they would be fun to write >0

Just to say! We will with time find out about Enzo's strange behavior! Give it some time, next chapter should give you more of a idea about Enzo.

* * *

**Questions you might have…**

**1. What's with Ed's emotions?**

Ok, in the series I saw that even though Ed was a strong guy, he was still emotionally distraught at times. You might be rolling your eyes saying 'Oh man, Ed's going to be a baby throughout this fic.' Ha, I don't think so. This past year has been very emotionally draining for Ed. He's just trying to get his act together.

**2. Enzo, please don't say Ed's over Enzo already!**

I didn't really go too much into Enzo cause we will talk about Enzo next chapter. Don't forget Ed only knew Enzo for a week, they were like becoming friends, just not fully friends yet. And when Ed is with Al and Winry his world is always going to seem a little better. Ed loves his family

**3. Winry and her cooking.**

Winry's cooking is reflecting my own cooking. I am the worst cook EVER. And I seriously am not joking. All I can make is like instant stuff, and it still always sucks. My poor toaster has been caught on fire by me more times than I can count. And the oven, well I'm practically banned from using the oven in my house.

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* * *

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**AlereVenus-** Thanks for the compliments on the Ed and Roy scene. I am very… VERY surprised at how well that scene came out. I know so far Ed slips in and out of mature scenes, but with time Ed will get his act together. Thanks for the review!

**Eriya-** Thank you so much for the awesome compliment. I am really happy you are enjoying it. Thanks for the review!

**MusicalRileyChan-**Ahhh! That is so freakin flattering its not even funny. Thank you so much! Since I'm just about done with this semester of college my updates will start coming out faster. Thanks for being a awesome reader and thanks for the review!

**Lelann37-**Thank you for your review! Trust me, my hands have been busy at work and I have the next two chapters almost fully completed.

**Aharah Musici-** Haha, you had to mention my night of intoxication. The death, or dea…, is meaning Ed isn't totally over his father being dead. I think its hard for anyone to be totally over something like that. Ahh, the glances! Well, you might be able to say that there is significance... Must wait and see though. Thanks for the corrections and the review!

**Merichuel-** I totally love you! Your such a sweet, cool, and friendly person to talk to. I have been really enjoying our conversations. I cant wait to talk more with you. Thanks for the wish of good luck and thanks for the review

**Lazerducky27-**Yea I killed him, he was only meant to be a short live character. More light will be shined on his death next chapter! Thanks for the review!

**Kweli-**I am trying to keep my names and wordings correct as possible when compared to the Japanese version of the series. No one seems to truly know how to spell Klose's name, and if I wrote it in Japanese no one would be able to say it properly. Clause is a cool sounding name but Klose is closer (in my opinion) to the Japanese saying. On another note, we will find out a lot more about Enzo by the next chapter! Keep turned! Thanks for the review!

**Mistress of Shadows-** Lol, I wont say much about the glances and jealousy. Thanks for thinking Enzo was cool, but he was just never meant to be in the story to long. But I guarantee you we will talk more about Enzo in the next chapter. Thanks for the review!

**Katratzi-** I will be talking more about Enzo in the next chap! So please keep tuned. Lol, I gave Ed more unwanted attention in this chapter, very corny unwanted attention >3. You will find that Ed will constantly be recognized. Ed wont be too happy with this though. Thanks for the review!

**Geraniums- **Well, first impressions can be very deceiving. I am so happy you like it! Things will start to get more interesting by next chapter I can tell you that! Thank you for sticking with the fic and thanks for the review!

**Most reviews to date! ****Thank you everyone for all your comments! **


	13. Unanswered Question

I wonder if I married Ed then if that would give me the rights to own Fma… Hmm, but as of now I don't own it. So sad, I know. 

**Warning:** After** (1) **scroll to the bottom, will explain everything in simpler terms.

* * *

Held

By Gomp

I unlocked my dorm door and pushed it open. Al walked into the cramped space, looking all around him. An exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he turned back to face me. "I will never understand your messy habits. When we were kids you were cleaner than this."

I shrugged as I picked up some papers off the floor and placed them on my desk. "I'm a busy man; I have no time to clean."

Al grumbled as he sat on my bed. He bounced up and down a few times, testing the mattress. "I highly doubt that, I think you're just being lazy."

"Oh come on, am I really that bad?"

Al nodded as he flopped back on the bed. He took in a deep breath then allowed it to escape slowly. I eyed him curiously. "Is something wrong?"

Al shook his head as he stared at the ceiling. "Your bed is comfy."

His voice was off slightly, causing me to worry. I walked over to the bed and sat beside him. I looked down at him, but his eyes wouldn't meet mine. "Al, what's wrong?"

Al's eyes flickered to mine for a moment, and then went back to the ceiling. His voice was quiet. "A full year, I guess that's what's wrong."

I sighed as brushed some of his bangs out of his face; his hair was beginning to get long. "I'll be back whenever I can; you don't need to worry about that."

My brother pushed himself up on his elbows and closed his eyes for a moment. His words were solemn. "I lost you for how many years? I finally get you back, and now you're gone again. It isn't fair."

I pulled my brother into a hug to try and comfort him, heck, even to comfort myself. He wrapped his hands around me, digging his head into my chest.

"Al, we will get through this. Worse things have split us apart, but we still made it through somehow."

I could feel my brother nod into my stomach. I sighed as I pulled out my pocket watch, I had to get going. I pulled Al out from my chest while I stood. "When I get back I'll give you a grand tour of thi-"

A loud knock rang from the door. I groaned as I eyed the evil door. Someone was always knocking at my door. In a few quick strides I made it to the door and yanked it open, feeling rather irritated.

Klose stood in the hallway, her hands clasped in front of her, her head towards the ground. My negative emotions suddenly drained away. "Klose?"

She looked up at me with a small smile gracing her lips. "I was sent to remind you of the meeting, you need to be in the announcement hall in ten minutes."

"Thanks."

Her smile broadened. "No problem."

I felt hands on my back as I looked to the side. Al's head poked out from behind me causing Klose to gasp in surprise. "Whose she Ed?" I smiled at my brother knowing very well he wouldn't remember Klose. I ruffled his hair as I looked back at Klose. Her eyes were attached to Al.

"Klose, this is my brother Al."

Her words held shock to them. "Al?"

I placed my auto-mail arm around my brother's shoulders as I nodded. "Alphonse, this is Klose, you two met many years ago."

Both of them spoke in unison. "We did?"

I looked between the two nervously. Yea, right… I knew Al wouldn't remember, but I forgot last time Klose met Al he was in a suit of six foot armor. How do you explain that one?

Klose's face seemed to pale all of the sudden as her eyes rounded. I thought her actions were a little exaggerated for the situation, but, I couldn't find words to explain Al to her. Few people knew the truth about my brother… I should have thought more before I opened my big mouth.

I cleared my throat as I pulled my brother back into the dorm room. I pushed him towards my bed. "Al, go find something to do for awhile. I'll be back soon."

Al nodded as he sat back on my bed. I gave him a soft smile as I shut the door behind myself. I turned back to find Klose still pale.

"You ok?"

She shook her head as she stared at the closed door. "Your brother… I don't understand. How? I mean, his armor..."

I stepped away from the closed door and took a few steps down the hall; I stopped for a moment and turned my head to look at Klose. "Klose, will you walk with me?"

She gave me a small smile as she caught up with me; we walked down the hall in a rhythmic pace.

Klose's alto voice broke the silence. "Ed, will you explain your brother to me now?"

I stopped my walking for a moment with a sigh; I turned to face her questioning gaze. "When we find some time I'll explain things to you. I know it's been years since you last saw Al and things might not add up, but with some explanation I'm sure things will make more sense."

I wasn't totally sure if I could trust Klose yet. I mean, Al was the most important thing to me; it's hard to talk about our past. But Klose seemed to be a very good person and so far had been a devoted friend. She seemed extremely trust worthy and understanding. It was hard to find people like that, and it was hard for me to trust anyone. Maybe it was time I consoled in someone other then Winry, Al, Granny or Mustang. Maybe…

I internally groaned, I didn't ask her to walk with me because of Al. I cleared my throat before I spoke. "How are you?"

Klose blinked a few times. "What do you mean?"

"After Enzo… how are you doing? Are you dealing with things ok?"

Klose looked at her feet, her face seemed fairly neutral. "Ed, can we please not talk about it."

"Klose I-"

"Ed, please. I appreciate the fact that you cared enough to ask me, but I am not comfortable discussing it."

I smirked. Klose seemed exactly like me, I hated discussing things like that type of stuff too. She looked up at me with a half hearted smile. "You better go to that meeting; you don't want to be late."

I gave her a smile back. "Yea, your right."

* * *

The room was silent as Chairman Hakuro spoke to the crowed. I sat with my arms crossed as I analyzed the man standing on the platform. His stance was practically perfect as he addressed all of us. He used a professional tone that was commanding yet soothing at the same time. So far all Hakuro had talked about was country pride. You know, good old useless boring crap.

Roy sat on the stage along side the other high ranking officers and the chairmen. Roy's expression didn't seem very enthusiastic. Heck, his expression seemed down right dark and scary. It seemed so odd for Roy to look that way, especially when everyone could see him.

Hakuro cleared his throat loudly, grabbing all of our attention. He picked up a few sheets of papers from the podium and shuffled them. His eyes then scanned the room.

"I am sure you are all wondering why you are here. Well, I feel it will only be proper to just get right to the point. All of you are aware of the Xing situation."

I eyed Roy. Roy's expression seemed to darken. What on earth could be going on…

"Because of a recent attack along our southern border, the Parliament has decided to take direct action. All four other military centers will be receiving the same orders. With in the week our entire army will be rallied, organized, and sent to Ishbal where they will join forces with those who are already assigned to that area. From there, the regiments will receive further orders. We will not allow Xing to make a fool of this country. We will demolish this threat."

My eyes shot wide open. What?

The room broke out in loud whispers, everyone talking with excitement. I looked at Roy who was staring at the ground, the devil still dancing across his face.

"Everyone please…"

The room fell silent again, waiting for Hakuro to continue.

"I need everyone to speak to their commanding officer to receive their departure times and further information..."

Whatever else Hakuro said was totally in one ear and out the next. My whole world found only one focus point.

General Roy Mustang.

* * *

Roy's hands were turning a nice color red as he gripped the edge of his desk. His head was down as he gritted his teeth.

I still stood in the doorway where I had thrown the door open only moments prior.

His voice came out low and threatening. "Edward, get out." He didn't even look at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

My anger matched his, my tone becoming mockery. "No, am I not to receive orders from you?"

My feet stomped loudly against the wooden panel floor, I stopped only a few inch's away from him. How could he not tell me?

"Edward, this is not the time."

"BULLSHIT."

Mustang turned his face towards me, his eye burned with fury like no other. But I stood my ground; there was no way I was going to Ishbal. "Roy, I'm not going to be the military's dog. I will not go to Ishbal even if you dragged me. I was forced into this position!"

Roy's hands lifted in the air and compacted loudly against the wooden desk. I had never seen Roy do an action such as that, I felt slightly taken back, but I still refused to lose this one.

"Roy, what the hell is going on?"

"Edward, you're not going to Ishbal."

I blinked a few times. Huh?

My anger quickly drained away and was replaced by curiosity. And damn it, did I feel more relieved then ever.

"What do you mean?"

"My unit will not be deployed. We will be one of the very few who will stay behind and guard Central." Roy's tone was still harsh, his expression still held rage. I was confused, not understanding his anger.

"Roy, isn't it good that were not going? I mean, do you really want to be away from your family?"

Roy pushed himself away from his desk and walked to one of his grand windows that stretched vertically almost the whole wall. His eyes focused on the world outside. "Of course I'm happy to stay with my family and to be away from the killing. But, I am not happy with their reasoning for leaving me behind. And I am not enthusiastic about starting a war when it's obvious our chances are low at winning."

"Why aren't they sending you?" I had a very good idea why they wouldn't, but I needed to confirm.

Roy's eyes turned to me, his expression turning sour. "Why do you think? To them I'm incapable...I'm an invalid." His words were heart wrenching in there own manner, but in away, they were right. He was incapable. If Roy was to enter a War zone, I didn't even want to think of what would happen. Without my auto-mail, I knew exactly how it felt to be incapable; I knew how it felt to be Roy.

I wanted to find a comforting word, but it's hard to comfort someone in his position. Besides, I was never one who was good with words.

Roy's gaze fell back to the window again; his melancholy expression was only being expressed to the world that most likely wouldn't look back. My eyes fell to the floor, how could I help him?

"Edward, we will lose if we start a war."

I didn't want to think about war. Even though I was in the military and I was there for the Rizenpool attack, war still seemed like an impossible outcome for this country. War, why would the Parliament throw us into a war?

"We can't do anything to stop it, now can we?" I said it more as a statement.

"I don't have enough political power to make that type of decision, so no, we can't."

I sighed as I walked over to one of Roy's couches and plopped down on it. A million questions started to enter my brain. What if we did lose? What would happen to my family? Since I was in the military, what would happen to myself?

A soft knock came from the door. I looked at Roy who didn't seem like he cared to answer it. So I stood up from the comfy couch and answered the door for him. It was Klose.

"Yes?"

"Major Elric, there is a call for you from the crime lab."

I lifted an eyebrow. "What do they want?" If they had finished the reports on Enzo, then damn, that was quick.

Klose eyed Roy for a moment. She looked back at me curiously, but I ignored her questioning stare. It was not my place to tell Roy's secretary Roy's private business. I walked out of the room, shutting the door securely behind me.

"Well, what do they want?"

Klose walked back to her desk and held up the phone. "Why don't you get the phone and find out? They say it's important."

I groaned as I walked to the phone. Important stuff just meant more time I was wasting away from my brother. I placed the phone to my ear.

"Major Elric speaking."

The women on the other line 'meeped' at me from surprise. She cleared her throat before she spoke. "Major Elric, Sir, I was told that the biopsy reports concerning Lieutenant Soto were to be sent directly to you."

"Yes, they are to be sent to me, and any new case findings. Do you have something for me?"

The woman's voice faltered for a moment. "I suppose you can say that. I need you down in crime lab right away."

I ran my hand over my face. Damn it, I knew this was going to take up precious brotherly time. "M'am, unless this is an emergency, can we please wait till tomorrow?"

"Sir, I promise this will only take a moment."

"Fine."

* * *

I pointed to a seat for my brother to sit on; he did as he was told.

"Ed, how long is this going to take?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I peered into the front windows of the crime lab. "I was told this will only take a minute. After that I swear it will be just me and you." My brother nodded.

I gave Al a small smile before I turned to the door and opened it. The room I stepped into was buzzing. People walking in and out of various rooms, all of them were wearing white lab coats. I had only been to this room once before, and that was when I was being given a tour when Roy had first been moved to Central.

"Sir?"

I looked to the right of me, a secretary looked back. This secretary was nothing like Klose. This woman seemed very old and heavy; her hair was tied in a tight bun with a stern look on her face. I gave a nervous laugh.

"Yea, Umm, I was just called down here by… someone."

The woman didn't seem very pleased by my performance. Yup, I was unprofessional and heck, I didn't care. "Do you know who this someone is?"

I tried to review the call in my head. Nope, she gave no name. I just shook my head. "Just see if anyone is looking for Major Elric please."

"Ohh! Miss Colville informed me of your coming. I am sorry I didn't recognize you, you look much different from the papers."

I groaned. "Yea, yea, great, well can you please tell Miss. Colville that I'm here? I am pressed for time."

The woman nodded as she lifted the phone. I zoned out from her and looked back around the room. The crime lab was a lot bigger than I remembered.

Most of the workers were much older than me, graying in the hair. All had a professional atmosphere to them, carrying clip boards and manila folders.

"Major Elric?"

I turned around to be greeted by an elderly woman, she was tall and skinny, her facial features very pointy and bleak. I gave the woman a smile. "Yes m'am, that's me. I presume you are Miss. Colville."

The woman nodded as she gestured me to follow her. I did as told and followed her into one of the various rooms. The room we entered was rather dark and small. There was a large window that showed what I presumed to be a biopsy room from the looks of it. I looked into the window and saw a surgeon steel table with a white cloth covering… something. I had a sinking suspicious of what that something was.

The woman turned to a tiny sink that was hidden in the corner of the small dark room. She began to wash her hands. "I am happy you could take sometime away from work and look at this for me."

I sighed while folding my arms over my chest. "M'am, you haven't even told me why I'm here."

The woman nodded as she finished washing her hands and pulled some white cloves out of a box. She stretched the write elastic over her hands then threw me a pair of my own.

I looked at the plastic gloves in question. "You're going to need those unless you want to stain the ones you're wearing."

I nodded as I took off my clothed gloves and slide the plastic ones on. I had to be careful so that my auto-mail didn't tear the plastic. I looked up to find the woman staring at my auto-mail hand. I rolled my eyes at her, great.

"Ma'm?"

She shook her head while looking back at my face. "I read on your personal reports that you were a specialist in human anatomy, am I correct?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, when I was an alchemist one of my specialties was with humans."

The woman nodded as she opened the thick steel door that lead to the biopsy room. The air had a sterile type smell to it, a smell I never really liked.

I stepped into the room after her, closing the door behind me. Surgical tools and a variety of other neat trinkets surrounded us on silver metal shelves. The room was fairly small, only able to fit maybe three people at once. I stared at the white sheet that was on the table.

The woman eyed me. "I hope you don't have a weak stomach."

I eyed her back wearily. I would love to say I didn't, but realty was sometimes I just couldn't take it with the yucky stuff. "If this is Lieutenant Soto's remains, I have already seen them. I believe I can handle this."

The woman nodded while pulling the sheet away from the table. The remains didn't look as gross as I thought, but the smell of decomposing flesh wasn't very friendly to my nostrils. I took a step back so my sensitive nose wouldn't be overwhelmed.

The woman looked at me with concern. "Are you alright?"

I nodded while looking at the slab of meat on the table. It didn't even mildly resemble Enzo. That allowed me to look at the body more as a scientist then as a friend.

Enzo's normal face suddenly flashed in my mind. I had to shake it away.

"Why did you ask me to come?"

The woman nodded while she uncovered some steel bowls that were next to the body. She held a bowl up to me, forcing me to look inside. It was an organ of come sort, but not one I was familiar with. That made me curious.

"M'am?"

The woman placed the bowl back on the table. "Major Elric, can you tell me what organ that might be?"

I pulled out my glasses so I could get a better look. My eyes focused on the bowl, unsure what the hell that was, cause it wasn't human, that's for sure.

"I give up."

"That is Lieutenant Soto's heart, well anatomically speaking. Honestly, by its deformity, I am not even sure if it could have actually function properly."

That confused me even more than I already was. I looked closely at the organ in the bowl. There was almost no way it could be a heart, it was missing the pulmonary trunk and the apex, and that was what I noticed on first glance. For how the organ was twisted I wasn't even sure if the other major arteries were present.

"Are you sure this is the heart?"

The woman nodded but carried an unsure face. I lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Ma'm, are you sure?"

The woman's face turned stern. "Major Elric, this is my career. Please think a little more highly of me."

"I'm sorry, you just didn't look sure of yourself."

The woman allowed a sigh to escape as she peered into the bowl herself. "I am positive it's his heart, the blood circulation was being pumped from this organ. But, by the sever lacerations to his chest cavity and well… his whole body, I can't really figure out how his body worked properly. It seems who ever attacked this man wanted to destroy all of this man's bodily functions. Including the cardiovascular, digestive, and endocrine systems. Even his muscle tissues have practically been totally scrapped."

I looked at the slab on the table. "Is it possible that the deformity of the heart is simply from the lacerations instead of being natural?"

The woman shook her head while picking up the heart with her hands carefully. She turned it around for me to see. "There have been no incisions made; this is the only organ in the body that is still fully intact."

I shook my head, that couldn't be right. The heart was too deformed to work properly in a human. "I just don't get it."

"Well at least you're as baffled as myself."

She turned to one of the shelves behind us and pulled out something that faintly reminded me of pliers. She walked back to the table and opened up the largest hole that was in Enzo's chest and stretched down his stomach. I had to swallow hard… I couldn't think of him as Enzo. As a scientist… must think like a scientist.

The woman beckoned for me to look inside. She used the pliers to keep the hole open as she poked her finger inside the stomach. She pointed at a cut up organ; it was so damaged I could barely tell what it was. It lined the left side of his abdominal.

"This is his large intestine, well, what's left of it."

"That's not right." I used my finger to run horizontally along the midriff of the body, right under the stomach. "It should be here."

"I know, it doesn't make sense. By the organization of his digestion system, from what I can tell, his large intestine had always been harbored to the left."

This was getting really messed up. "I don't know what to think of all of this."

The woman nodded. "Yes, I agree. But there are two more things I would like to show you."

Great, more surprises. The woman lifted up two bowls and placed them in front of me. She took off the lids.

There were various… well I don't know what you could call them. In one bowl there were things that looked like small green thin plates. The other held fairly large green… spikes. I suppose that would be the best way to describe them.

Miss Colville pointed to the bowl that held the spikes. "Believe it or not, but I found these between the spinal vertebrae along Lieutenant Soto's spine."

She pointed to the next bowl. "And these, well, this made up a layer between the external and internal of his epithelial."

I took a step away from the table. Shit!

I had a deep suspicion building up inside me. Oh shit, this wasn't right.

My voice came out shaky. "Do they belong to humans?"

The woman eyed me. "That's why I called you here. I did some tests, and what I came up with is almost unbelievable. The platelets seem to be scales and the spikes are part of the dorsal spine of an iguana lizard. It doesn't make any sense."

It made perfect sense to me.

(1)

* * *

I threw Roy's office door open causing the window of the door to rattle. I turned to look at Al who was standing by Klose's desk; I nodded for him to stay where he was. He got the point and sat in the chair by the front door. I then slammed Roy's door shut behind me.

Roy's still solemn face quickly turned to a look of surprise as he looked at me. He had been talking on the phone but pulled it away from his ear while covering the mouth piece.

"Edward, will you please enter more quietly."

"Hang up the phone."

Roy lifted an eyebrow. I wasn't joking and I was sure my tone had made it obvious that I was more than serious. I narrowed my eyes at him, urging him to listen to me. He told the person on the other line that he would call them back and hung up.

He gave me his full attention. "What is the meaning of this?"

I squeezed my fists in a poor attempt to relax myself. Fuck it!

I walked up to Roy's desk, with one swift motion; I pulled the desk away from his seat. The desk made a loud screech of protest as it scratched against the wooden floor. I griped the arm rests on both sides of his chair.

I wanted to punch him, tear him apart; I wanted to do a shit load to him. But I couldn't just jump to conclusions. I forced my question out between clenched teeth.

"Why have the experiments on chimera's not been haltered?"

Roy looked at me dumbfounded. "Edward, what are you talking about?"

I growled as I pushed myself away from his chair and slammed my metal fist into the wall right by his head. "Don't shit with me Roy! You know what the hell I'm talking about!"

Roy used his cane to stand up and move away from me. "Edward, your not making any sense."

I was tempted to punch him. I was so tempted that I had to take a few steps away from him. "Enzo, HE WAS A GOD DAMN CHIMERA!"

Roy's mouth fell open as shock consumed his features.

I wasn't stupid; Roy was too high of a ranking officer not to know. I wasn't going to fall for his act.

"I trusted you! I want an explanation!"

"Edward, that type of research had been haltered the moment the new Parliament came to rule."

I couldn't believe him. No one in the world had that type of research. It took King Bradley's government over a hulking amount of experiments just to get chimera that perfect… perfect like Martel.

"You're lying."

Roy growled at me with frustration as he took a step towards me. I was tempted to use alchemy so he would stay away, but I had no interest in getting arrested again.

"Stay away from me. What else are you hiding from me!"

Roy's whole body tensed. "EDWARD STOP ACCUSING ME OF SUCH NONSENSE!"

I shook my head. Damn it! How did I get thrown into the stupid military again? Part of the reason I originally wanted out was because things like this constantly happened.

"Edward, lets discuss this rationally instead of you pointing your finger at me."

"He was a bloody chimera Roy! Don't you get it? ...a chimera." My words were starting to loose their edge. I had originally told myself not to jump to conclusions but I did anyways, smart. Roy looked back at me calmly. Even though he was frustrated, it was obvious he was trying to keep a cool head.

Roy's voice came out demanding. "Edward, if you do not calm down and relax, I will kick you out of this office. Take a seat on the couch."

I didn't doubt Roy's threat.

I took in a few deep breaths and walked over to the couch. I eyed Roy carefully as sat on it. Roy's body relaxed slightly as he came over and sat down in the couch across from me.

Roy…why was I blaming him? I knew him. It wasn't fair for me to blame him.

"Edward, will you please explain everything to me now without accusation."

I leaned forward, running my sweaty palm through my hair. My voice came out shaky. "Enzo was a chimera."

"How is that possible?"

"Why do you think I came to you?"

* * *

I laid on Winry's bed, faced down. My voice was partially muffled by the pillow. "I'm sorry Al; I just had to get out of there."

"It's alright."

I shook my head. "There was a lot of cool stuff I wanted to show you, I'm sorry."

Winry's voice piped in. "Edward, next time we come to visit you can show him." I turned my head to the side so I could offer her a weak smile.

When I had first gotten back to the house Winry told me I looked like I was about to pass out so she forced me to lay down. Me, pass out? It was very possible after finding out about Enzo.

He was a chimera.

He was a chimera and Roy was a dead end when it came to answering the questions.

What the hell was going on?

My face sank deeper into the pillow. Then the idea of war…

My face turned sharply towards my brother, Al blinked at me in surprise.

"Yea?"

"Hey Al, go make your big bro some lunch." I kept my voice friendly and cheerful.

Al lifted a suspicious eyebrow at me. "Why not wait, Winry was planning to make lunch later."

"You know how much Winry's food sucks! Go make me something."

I felt a nice smack on the head. "Ed! Last time I ever cook for you."

I groaned while rolling my eyes. "See Al, now you have to make me something."

My brother eyed me, not very pleased. "You're really lazy Ed."

I nodded and gave him a big grin. "Yup, now go."

With much annoyance, Al stood and left the room. I turned my attention to Winry.

"Ed, do you really think my cooking sucks?"

I pushed myself up from my laying position and turned so I could face her. I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her seriously. She seemed taken back.

"Ed?"

"Winry…"

Winry's voice came out strained. "Is…is it really that bad?"

I blinked a few times. "Huh?"

"My cooking…"

"Oh my God, shut up! This is not about your damn cooking." A look of relief fell on Winry's face. What a freak.

I cleared my throat before I spoke again. "Winry, a lot of…stuff is going down. Military stuff."

Winry's face suddenly matched my seriousness. "What type of stuff?"

I shook my head; I hated talking about that type of stuff with her. Winry, of course, wasn't too pleased with me. She grabbed the collar of my shirt roughly. "You wouldn't be telling me this unless it might affect me. What's going on?"

She was right; I never brought up my work unless it did affect her. I grabbed her hand from my shirt and forced her to let go. I couldn't really hide something like war from her.

"Well, you know how Xing attacked Rizenpool. Things are starting to…"

"Is Amestris planning to attack Xing?" Ok, so maybe Winry wasn't as ignorant as I had anticipated. I nodded my head to confirm her question.

"I don't know if Amestris will be able to win. It's actually rather unlikely." Winry's face fell suddenly, a frown gracing her lips. It was hard to imagine Amestris loosing, we had always been the victors.

Her voice sounded small. "What will happen to us?"

I shrugged helplessly. "Your guess is as good as mine. But, most likely our country will just be thrown under a new rule. Since Xing has political connections to Aerugo and Creta it's possible the country might be split between the three."

Fear blossomed on her features. She grabbed me by my shoulders roughly. "Ed, are they sending you into battle? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

I bit back a groan from the pain of her nails digging into my fleshy shoulder. "Winry, calm down, no they aren't sending me."

Winry looked at me sheepishly as she allowed my shoulders free, I rubbed my human shoulder. Wow, did that girl have one heck of a grip.

"I am telling you this because I don't feel safe with you guys in Rizenpool; it's too close to the border line of Aeguro. And considering what just happened in Rizenpool, it's obvious they won't hesitate to attack."

Winry shook her head. "We can't leave Rizenpool; our house is still being used for a shelter. And there is no way I can leave without Granny."

I wanted to understand her reasoning, but I just wasn't satisfied. "Winry please, I really want you guys to leave, and I do want you to leave with Granny. I was thinking you guys can go to Dublis, you can stay with Izumi." I wiggled my eyebrows. "Its right by Rush valley."

Winry tapped her finger to her chin while in consideration. "It's also close to Central. I don't know Ed, what do we do with all the people staying at the house? We can't just throw them on the street with no place to go."

I sighed, I hadn't really thought of that part. "Winry, just see what you can do. I'm begging you."

Winry nodded. "I'll do what I can."

I turned to the small window that was in the room. The bright sunny day seemed gloomy in my eyes.

Why did the world like to tumble down around me?

* * *

(1) Simpler terms for the biopsy scene!

Let's start with the heart.

Enzo's heart was missing:

The apex. -Tip of the heart. The apex is directed downward, forward, and to the left, and is overlapped by the left lung and pleura: it lies behind the fifth left intercostals space, 8 to 9 cm. from the mid-sternal line, or about 4 cm. below and 2 mm. to the medial side of the left mammary papilla. So yea, it's like the tip of the heart.

Pulmonary trunk- the artery that carries venous blood from the right ventricle of the heart and divides into the right and left pulmonary arteries.

Arteries- there like… big veins.

Next, the large intestine:

It's usually harbored horizontally under the stomach region. Underneath the large intestine the small intestine is like curled up inside and is sort of hugged by the large one (ok, that sounded weird). There is a piece of the large intestine that falls down to the left in the stomach, but in Enzo's case, all of the large intestine was curled to the left ( sort of like a iguana lizard). Little fact: Large intestine in a human is five feet and three inches wide. Big sucker, isn't it?

Spinal Vertebra/ Spinal cord- Please, place your hand in the center of your neck and run your hand down along that bone (hopefully it goes all they way down your back). There, that is your spinal cord.

Epithelial- that's your skin. The scales were making a nice layer between the internal and external layers of your skin.

Cardiovascular, digestive, endocrine- I'm not going to go into to much detail with these. Pretty much I was saying all of Enzo's systems (lungs, liver, kidneys, everything you can imagine in the body) were pretty much torn apart. Somehow though, the heart had survived Enzo's attack.

Dorsal spine- If you look at an iguana you will see cool spikes running down its back. Those are called the caudal spine (near the top) and dorsal spine (near the bottom).

Lacerations- are cuts.

I think I covered it all! If you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to ask (via review or email)!

* * *

Authors Note:

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I ended up doing a lot of research so I could get all that fun little anatomy stuff correct. Well, I'm officially done with school, so chapters will begin to be more frequent, hopefully. I have the frame work done for the next chapter but a lot of tweaking is going to be necessary before I post it. I know you guys want me to update more quickly but I discovered if I try to rush stuff it well, sucks. I do have almost the whole story done in my head, but it's going to be awhile until I get stuff out.

I discovered another author on has a theory that will be close to mine. I am not naming this author, and the theory is actually one that will be easily found in the series (usually ignored though from what I've scene). So if you do find this author has a miner thing similar to mine, well I'm aware and the other author is aware so its ok (she actually hasn't even written about it yet, I guessed that she was using the same theory and emailed her about it). Now, the theory isn't anything huge, it's not like the whole plot line or something… but when I finally get to the point I will be talking about this theory, I'll point the theory out.

Wow, I think I just confused myself.

Much love and thanks given to Han-chan for being my beta reader and Egypt being my critic!

* * *

Questions you might have…

1. Ed having a specialty with anatomy.

Remember when Ed was matched up with Shou Tucker? Roy mentioned the reason he was putting Ed with Tucker was because Tucker specialized with living things. He felt Tucker would be good because it would relate to one of the things Ed specialized in (something along those lines).

2. Why did Ed get smart all of the sudden?

Ed is a very smart guy in the series and I didn't want degrade his intelligence by writing the anatomy in simple terms (I felt it would take away from the scene). I, of course, was fair and explained everything in the bottom in simpler terms. I just want to remind you guys we're dealing with professionals here so they will speak like professionals. Is my full anatomy analysis correct? Well, all I can say is I hope so. The most I have ever done with anatomy is study monkey bones (measuring a monkeys skull is nothing like understanding the make up of a human body, that's for sure). So, if you're like a medical terminology genius, please correct me. I will take no offense to criticism.

3. Enzo, a bloody chimera! Hey wait, what was with those looks then?

Yes, our lovely Enzo was a chimera. Now, everyone has been asking about those odd looks Enzo kept shooting at Ed. Well, with time we will discover why Enzo kept shooting our lovely Ed with such strange looks. Please, be patient and slowly things will come together.

4. Why did Ed blame Mustang? Doesn't he trust him by now!

Ed is not perfect and is very well tempered. The Mustang thing is mainly showing that Ed just likes to point fingers at people without thinking. He's upset, has had it rough for the past year, and is just sick and tired of all the crap. He wants to blame Roy because, well, he had to blame someone.

5. What's with Ed always being reluctant to tell Winry stuff?

In the series I think everyone knows Ed kept his life private from Winry… and Winry was one pissed off female because of it. I decided to keep Ed still reluctant because, well, mainly because of Hughes. I know Ed is older and he must learn to trust people more (like he is going to work on with Klose) but Winry is his 'best friend' and he wants to protect her. He is sick of losing the people he loves; he wants to keep the people closest to him in like a bubble of protection. You might wonder what Ed will be like with his little brother, well, doesn't he love Al too? (hint hint)

6. Whose Martel again?

Super duper cool snake chimera lady. She chilled with Greed's group for awhile, then ended up being good acquaintances with Ed and Al. Later she was killed by Pride (King Bradley) while still in Al's armor.

* * *

**Sou-** Well I am flattered you think this fic is awesome. I have put a lot of time into it and I am glad my time has been well spent. Oh, Enzo is very important! He will not be hard forgotten. Thank you for your comment on Ed's personality. I am happy you like Ed being so Ed but not so Ed. He's older, so he will be different from the series. Thank you so much for the review!

**AlereVenus-** Yup, we will find out more about Enzo's strange looks. I hope this chapter was a nice little hint. Ed's life is going to be rough throughout this. But, Ed's a strong guy (even the strongest have mental breakdowns now and then). Thanks for the review.

**Pending-Destruction-** I was curious if you still read this fic! Surprise, surprise, you still do! I am so glad that this fic has kept your interest. (I heart Gundam Wing!) I scare you with my giddiness with Ed's love life? Haha, I love that comment. Ed's love life will be interesting. Thank you for your comment on Ed's personality. I agree, it takes a man to cry. He understands more about himself at this point, Ed isn't the 17 year old who thought he could take on the world; he is becoming more human realizing the world doesn't always revolve around him. Ed with Winry… well again I am making no comments on who Ed ends up with. Al's turning to a little shit? Lol! Well, I hope everyone understands that Al lost three years without his brother. He's a totally different person now from the series. Why is Al a shit towards Ed at times? Well, Al does love Ed, but, Al's also human. Its scary losing your bro then one day he's back and nineteen (now twenty). Al is hurting too and isn't going to be the nice sweet boy we remember. I'm trying to write him more like a teen from our own world. And the steel thing… AHH! That's embarrassing. Heh, heh, my beta reader had corrected it but I never caught it when correcting the fic myself. Damn it! I fixed it though. Thank you, I appreciate the correction. And I like long reviews! And heck, I like hearing peoples opinions! Review when ever you feel compelled too. Thank you so much for wishing me luck on my finals (I think I did really well on them actually), good luck with yours! And thank you for the wonderful review!

**Kwala-** I'm so sorry about the name thing! I corrected it in my last chapter. Tee heh, thank you for not thinking that chap was corny. Also, if you have any questions which won't be spoilers for the story, I will be more than thrilled to answer them! Thanks for the review!

**Koru-** Wow? Lol, I hope that's a good wow... For your second comment. Make it Ed/Winry and I shall die? Lol, I have never had a threat like that. Very interesting. But as everyone knows, I have decided to make no comment on who Ed will be with. Why wont I say? Hmm, many reasons which I will not comment on. I am so happy you like this fic so far. I hope you stay a reader! Thanks for the review!

**Lelann-** Awe! Thank you for the birthday wish. Yea, the angst Ed was to show that Ed was still human, to help remind people. I know it got a little sappy but Ed will be getting more on track with the coming chapters! (lol I love writing an angst Ed XP) Thanks for the review!

**Katratzi-** Thank you for the birthday wish! Very much appreciated. I'm happy you liked my angst Ed! Thanks for the review!

**Gothick-amnesti-** Lol, I loved reading your review! It's one of the most flattering to date! Lol, and I'm happy you read my blips. Boosting my Ego? (takes a look at her Ego) lol, hopefully it's not that big, but a little boost is never bad. Thank you for the birthday wish and for the wonderful comments. They really mean a lot to me and I'm so happy you're a reader of this story. Thank you so much for your awesome review!

**Aharah Musici-** One of my reviewers that I depend most on! Thank you for the corrections, all have been corrected! Lol thank you for the great complements and I hope my beta reader knows she is getting better. She's a wonderful person who has been more than helpful! I will work on my tenses and do my best to improve this fic as much as possible. Thanks for the very helpful review!

**Son goku-** This is a non-yaoi fic, so no worries. I don't hate yaoi's but this fic is based on hints from the series and manga and also based on my own cruel corruption. Lol, I will not make a comment on the Enzo question. Because I must leave you in wonder of did Enzo have feelings for Ed or was Enzo just being a freaky chimera... Hmm, interesting. We will see old characters appear, it will just take some time (Rose did make an appearance in a past chapter, which I'm sure you noticed but I must remind). I love how you like how this fic is progressing! Thank you for the great review! I enjoyed reading it


	14. Harsh Reality

If Edward was real, would it be illegal to be… 'involved' with him? I mean, like, then I could own the FMA series. Well maybe not own it, but come damn close…

Ok, maybe not. Leave me alone!

* * *

Held

By The Gomp

Al stuck his head out the train window, waving at me frantically. I waved back at him as the train sped away along the tracks. Soon, Al's figure disappeared from my view. He was gone and so was Winry, it was depressing in its own manner, their stay seemed too short. Goodbyes were always bitter sweet to me, I suppose since so many times a simple goodbye has ended up being permanent.

Winry had promised to try and get everyone to Dublis. Well, more like, she better get everyone to Dublis. I didn't trust having the Rockbell's and Al so close to the border. It just wouldn't be a smart thing to do. Which had reminded me, I was going to have to make a phone call to Izumi. Heh, heh, it was rude to invite people to someone else's house without getting permission first.

"Are you sure you don't want a ride?"

I looked over my shoulder. Elysia and Ms. Hughes stood together, both waited patiently for me to answer. "Thank you for the offer, but honestly, base isn't far from here. Besides, you would be going out of your way."

Ms. Hughes shook her head. "Nonsense, I have no problem taking a detour to drop you off. But, if you prefer to walk, then that's fine."

I gave her the best smile I could muster. "Ms. Hughes you have done more than enough for me in the past few days and I'm extremely grateful. But, walking is not a problem for me."

Ms. Hughes walked up to me, wrapped her arms tightly around my body. At first I hesitated, but I gave in and hugged her back, her warmth was comforting. "Edward, I am so happy I got to see you again. Please, stop by and visit. Elysia and I would love the company."

I looked over Ms. Hughes shoulder and saw Elysia give a small smile to show her agreement. A sorrowful sigh escaped my lips. Elysia was such a beautiful young girl. Only if Mr. Hughes had the chance to see her…

I pulled out of the hug first. I looked Ms. Hughes directly in the eye, and hoped she could see my sincerity. "I would love to visit you guys sometime." I paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. I leaned  
over and whispered into Ms. Hughes ear. "Thank you, for everything."

Her smile spoke more then one could place put into words. "Edward, take care and be good."

I gave her a nod before I turned and made my leave.

* * *

"We have to do something, we can't just ignore this!" 

Mustang sat calmly behind his desk, hands clasped in front of him. "Edward, do you understand that this country is about to head into war? We have no time to investigate this. Try and find Lieutenant Soto's killer,  
that is an order."

What an idiot! I kicked Roy's desk from pure frustration. "Roy, has the military affected you that badly? He was a chimera, I can't ignore that fact!"

"Lieutenant Soto had been a good officer. What makes you think that he had any bad intentions? Ed, isn't it possible that he was just a failed or escaped experiment by the previous government? It's very possible he was simply trying to piece his life back together during these past few years. Just because he was different from you and I doesn't mean there was evil in him."

This was so uncharacteristic of Mustang. He had seen what happened with King Bradley, how could he tell me to ignore the fact that Enzo was a chimera?

"Roy, are you listening to yourself? Enzo couldn't have been an experiment from the old government; he wasn't in the military long enough! Besides, didn't King Bradley do a lot of good for this country? Yet, he still was a homunculus that, in the end, tried to kill us? Come on!" Roy sighed as he opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a manila folder. He slid it towards me.

"I have done a thorough background check on Lieutenant Soto. Ed, he's clean. There is nothing suspicious about him whatsoever, minus the fact that he was a chimera. King Bradley might have done much good for this country, but his records were still drenched in blood. And, you must remember, experiments weren't just done on military personnel, they were also done on abducted citizens." Roy flipped through the manila folder; he stopped at the page he had been looking for.

He turned the open folder towards me and pointed at what he wanted me to read. I pulled out my reading glasses to look at Enzo's personal records. It stated that six years ago Enzo went missing for a year.

I eyed Roy. "Are you trying to tell me you think Enzo was simply abducted during that time? Roy, your argument is farfetched."

"How so? Edward, you're not listening to me… if our country was in different circumstances I would allow you to investigate this situation. But, I see no reasonable cause for me to allow you to do research on Lieutenant Soto in the context of him being a chimera. I personally have contacted Miss. Colville, his biopsy reports will be withheld from the Parliament. Between the three of us, we are the only ones aware of Lieutenant Soto's… condition. I'm sorry Edward; right now I need you as a high ranking officer, not an investigator."

I stared at Roy with disbelief. Every time I thought of Enzo I remembered those looks he would give me. There was more to Enzo then what we had seen, there was something going on.

Roy closed the manila folder, and placed it back in his drawer. He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Edward please, you must try to understand the position I am in. Central Military Headquarters is losing  
over 85 percent of its staff, I must think logically. Lieutenant Soto being a chimera has left me shocked, but, it is not my top priority at the moment. I need you Edward; I need a straight head on you as well."

Roy was in a tough situation, and I knew it.

But to me, I just didn't care.

There was something fishy going on.

* * *

I looked at my nice, pristine clean room. My dork of a brother had decided to go on a cleaning spree when I had locked him in my dorm the other day. I swear, that boy, he was an embarrassment to the Elric name. 

I dropped the large amount of new paper work Roy had given me onto my bed. With almost everyone leaving the base, my paper load had increased by what seemed like a million times. I hated paper work, screw it.

I felt no remorse as I turned from the paper work and sat at my desk chair.

Those looks Enzo had shot me, at first I thought he could just be creepy guy at times, but if he was a chimera…there had to be more to it. But where should I start to figure things out?

I didn't need to look for Enzo's personal records; Roy had already had the pleasure of doing that for me. They were clean, but what about the year of leave? Did that year have any significance, or did Enzo just decide to runaway? Enzo would have been a late teen by then, teens were rebellious, sometimes they just liked to runaway. But then, when did he become a chimera?

Well it didn't matter; I knew I was going to have to take a different approach to do my search. Yup, I didn't care what Roy said, I was investigating this. With, or without, Roy's help, it didn't matter. I couldn't really be angry with Roy even though I desperately wanted to. Our country was heading into war and he didn't have time to look at cases without major cause, even though I personally would have considered that Enzo being a chimera would be something worthy to look into. But I didn't have the rank, Roy did.

Now where to start? Well, I suppose you start from the beginning. How did Enzo become a chimera? Or, rather, who turned Enzo into a chimera…

Did it have relations to the chimera at Rizenpool? I shook my head; there was something different about Enzo, he was too perfect, too human, to much like Martel…

He was even more perfect then Martel, then again, Martel was created during the Ishbal War. By the time someone got their hands on Enzo, it was possible that they had perfected their techniques.

I chewed on my lower lip. To create a chimera that perfect, you would need a power source. The best power source would be the Philosopher Stone.

The Philosopher Stone or…

Oh my god… why had I never thought of it before?

Red water.

I could have slapped myself, it was totally logical. The chimera from that night in Rizenpool, Enzo… they could have been created with red water. Ha, how could I not have thought of that before?

"Edward, you're the biggest idiot ever." I smirked at my own criticism.

Ok, so I was finally getting somewhere. We have red water...hmm…

I sat straight in my chair and began to look through the well organized papers that were in neat piles on my desk. Oh hell, Al had even placed all my papers in chronological order. Man, he was such a fruit cake at times.

I searched through the various reports and paper work until I found what I was looking for. It was a packet… well, for how thick it was it was more like a book. The packet contained all the justifiable reasons the Parliament used to ban alchemy. I pulled out my reading glasses and pushed them up my nose.

I knew what I was looking for was a long shot, but I had to try.

I flipped through the pages of the packet until my eyes stopped at a certain section. In big bold letters it stated: '5th Laboratory'.

Yup, the 5th Laboratory.

The 5th Laboratory use to harbor the most accessible amount of red water I had ever seen. Ok, let us say that by some small tiny chance that the chimera from Rizenpool hadn't been created in Xing; instead let's say it was created in Amestris. There was enough red water in the 5th Laboratory that any white lab-coat man would have a field day creating and experimenting with chimera. That chimera in Rizenpool wasn't done with normal alchemy, oh no. It was done without equivalent trade. And now with Enzo, everything was beginning to strike home.

A skimmed through the 5th Laboratory report and, oh look, there's my name. Tee, he he.

I sighed as I finished the section on the 5th Laboratory. Well shit, it didn't say a single thing of what happened to the red water. I mean, it had to have been transported to a new location. Right? It's not like if I went to the 5th lab at that very moment the water would just be chilling there.

Right?

…right…?

* * *

My boot crushed a piece of glass and created a loud echoing sound. It was eerie… dun, dun, dunnn. 

I looked at the map in my hands with deep concentration. Heh, Mustang was going to be one pissed off man if he discovered the stolen map missing from his office. Ok, ok, why do I need a map you might be wondering? I know I had been in the 5th Laboratory before but, that was over four years ago while I was in a critical situation. And considering that the structure of the building partially collapsed, heh, I desperately needed a map as a guide.

Entering the building had been surprisingly easy. There was no more guard post. I had surveyed the area rather carefully, making sure there were no more hidden traps also, hey can't be too careful, and of course there were none. The only thing there was a nice sign that said 'Caution, Danger Zone Ahead. No Trespassing'. Yup, very direct.

Stupid military idiots, I mean, come on! That's just begging for people like me to enter.

I looked around the hallway; crumbles of the building structure were strewn all across the floor, nice. Gives the building a nice homely feel, right?

I used my nifty little flash light, which I had grabbed back at the base, as my only source of light. The building, this time, had no lights on, making it obvious that the building was really vacated this time. As I walked down the halls I made sure I was careful with every step. Honestly, you just don't know if there was still a hidden trap in this place. I mean, it's been years and the military had investigated the hell hole, but you just couldn't be too cautious. I didn't need another 20ft ball tumbling towards me again.

Half of the halls were dead ends from when they previously imploded on themselves, it was getting frustrating. I turned from the crumbled down hallway I had been staring at and took a turn to the left. If I was to cut right through that, then hopefully that would take me to where I wanted.

My steps were slow and cautious. There was no sound coming from inside the building except for a distant 'drip' sound, most likely from a damaged pipe. My flashlight left a narrow path in which I could see, I made sure to walk straight on that path.

I made a turn and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a set of ponderous doors at the end of the next hallway. Oh yea! I was rather familiar with those set of doors. I gave the hall a check, it seemed safe. So with large strides I walked right up to the doors. I forced one of the doors open, it squeaked in loud protest all the way.

The room was still the same as before, it had a pointed ceiling with many pillars lining up both sides of the room. I had fought the Slicer brothers in that room.

I gave a faint smile at the distant memories, but frowned when I recalled the younger brother committing suicide in the very room I was standing in. It was such a tragic story in its own way. I mean, once upon a time Al was just like those brothers…

"Al..." My voice rang out to the empty space. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, it was all past now. Yes, all in the past.

My feet padded loudly against the stone floor. I wrapped my red jacket closer around my body, it felt like the farther I walked into the depths of the building, the colder it was getting. I could faintly see the white mist of my own breath.

I opened the next set of doors that were across the room. The hallway beyond seemed even darker then the previous ones I had walked through. Great, just what I needed. The set of doors closed loudly behind me.

I placed the butt of the flash light in my mouth as I straightened out the map in my hands. I had on my reading glasses as I looked at the different turns and hallways I was going to need to take. Finally getting the proper direction in my head, I folded up the map and placed it under my arm and placed my glasses back in their case. I looked around the dark hallway; it seemed in better condition compared to all the others. Maybe luck was going to be on my side.

I ran my auto-mail fingers lightly against the side of the stone walls so they could work as a sort of guide as I walked through the various hallways. I followed the path of my flash light, making sure to keep my steps as quiet as possible.

Thump

I stopped for a moment, was it just me or did I hear something?

_Thump_

My body went suddenly stiff. The sound echoed throughout the hallways, oh shit. It sure as hell wasn't me that time.

_  
Thump Thump_

I couldn't tell where in the world the sound was coming from. It was too dark and I couldn't see a thing. The echoes resonated off the walls which threw off the direction the noise was being produced. I swallowed loud enough that I could hear.

I stood stiff, waiting for the noise to happen again. Goosebumps danced across my real arm, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up on edge.

But after standing there for awhile I found that there was no more sound, it stopped. "Shit." My words were spoken through clenched teeth. Maybe I had just been hearing things, it was very possible. I mean, considering how dark and creep the place was, it was very likely my mind was just playing tric--

A scream tore its way from my throat as something hit me hard from behind, my flashlight skittered across the floor, out of my reach.

HolymotherofgoodnesswhatthehellwasthethingitwashugeouchwhydoIhurtsomuchahhhthisisntright

I hit hard against the stone floor. I quickly grabbed onto my real shoulder, feeling a stingy sensation. I pulled my auto-mail hand away and I used my real fingers to feel the warm and sticky substance that was on it. I was bleeding. What the hell?

My heart stopped when I heard a snarl coming from somewhere nearby…. Oh shit.

Nails clattered loudly against the stone floor, something was headed right towards me. I couldn't see a damn thing. I did the only thing I could think to do; I threw my right arm in front of me. My arm was suddenly jerked; I could hear the sickening sound of teeth against metal. With my left leg, I kicked whatever the hell the thing was, hard in the head. A cry like no other escaped the creature's mouth as I heard it crash to the floor.

It was just too dark to see, I quickly looked behind me, my flash light was a good few feet away. I had to get it, I couldn't fight without it. I pushed my body with my arms towards the light, I was too scared to get up and stand, I couldn't tell where the creature was at. My left shoulder gave a loud protest as I used it to drag myself, but I ignored it.

My fingers were only a few inches away when I was suddenly jerked back, my left leg being yanked. I swallowed back a scream as my auto-mail pulled at the skin where it connected with the remains of my real leg.

I couldn't reach the flashlight. Shit! The thing behind me started to chew on my leg, I could hear the clatter of chomps, the creature wasn't going to be able to break my steel.

My clap rang out rather loud, echoing between the walls. A flash of blue light illuminated the room along with the creature…

Oh my… holy...

The creature's beady eyes stared at me; I could see my face being reflected back. It was a chimera… Its head the shape of a lion's, its body the size of a hyena. That was all I could see before the glow disappeared and the sharp point of my arm was fully transformed.

What the hell was going on?

The chimera jerked at my left leg again, I could hear its claws scraping against my auto-mail. I pulled my right arm back, thrusting it towards the creature with all my might. The creature gave a blood curdling scream as I felt my point sink into it. I had no clue where I hit the chimera at, but whatever I had done to it, it caused the chimera to let go of my leg. The chimera's shrilling scream lasted for what seemed like forever, but slowly the scream died away, leaving the empty hallow sound of silence.

I sat there frozen… did I kill it? I couldn't see…

I turned behind me, my flashlight still across the room. I cautiously pushed myself into a standing position, careful not to hurt my left shoulder any more than it already was. The cold air danced across my  
wound, it lightly stung my wound causing me to flinch.

The room was still silent as I took my first step towards the flashlight. I listened carefully, there was nothing. I took another step, then another.

The flashlight was at my feet when I looked down at it.

Heavy weight thrust its way at me; I could feel claws scraping against my back. I gasped loudly as I fell heavily towards the floor. My human hand landed right over the handle of the flashlight. I turned the flashlight quickly towards the chimera, blinding it for a few seconds. The creature howled at me, angry that I would do such a thing.

I pulled my right arm back, with a quick thrust my sharp tip went right through the creature's head. We stared at each other for a few moments, neither of us moving. I looked into the creature's eyes, they were so…empty.

Empty and almost…lonely…

Slowly its eyes glazed over as blood began to run down its face. The chimera took on last shuttering breath before it fell to the ground, my blade slipping out.

I sat there frozen to the spot, I blinked a few times. Did that really just happen?

Those eyes…

I fell back against the floor, it suddenly being hard to breath. Why the hell was a chimera still in the building? Oh shit, Roy was going to kill me when he saw me...

Why on earth would I think about Roy in a time like this?

I sat myself up slightly, my shoulder yelled at me in protest. I picked up the flash light and looked at my wound. Three nice sized claw marks bleed freely down my shirt. The claw marks were going to leave some interesting scars.

I felt behind me, running my fingers along my back. The damage didn't seem very bad, only scratch's.

I clapped my hands and returned my auto-mail to normal. I grabbed the end of my jacket, tearing the fabric. I carefully wrapped the rag around my shoulder wound in a poor attempt to help stop the bleeding. I was going to need stitches, but, I wasn't going to die. Oh man did I hate needles.

I used my flash light to look at the dead chimera. It seemed that the first time I had cut it; I had cut into its right side. Blood was beginning to collect on the floor from the two wounds.

The chimera's eyes…

They were so… haunting, so empty…so lonely. I was actually beginning to feel bad for it. How long had the chimera been down here? The chimera must have been a left over from Tucker.

That's a long time to be alone. I couldn't believe the military never found it; the thing seemed hard to miss.

I stood up, my body feeling achy all over. I turned to just leave the whole building when a specific door caught my sight. I hadn't even realized it; I had made it to the room I was looking for. I looked back at the chimera, was there more of them?

A sigh left my mouth. I made it to the room I was looking for, didn't I? Why not just finish my damn investigation so I would never have to return again. Most likely that was the only chimera left. And besides, it would only take me a second just to check out the room.

I groaned as I stumbled towards the door, my left leg feeling stiff from all the pulling and yanking. My hand grasped onto the cold knob. This was all only going to take a second, just one look and then I could leave.

The door was unlocked as I pulled it open. I used my flashlight to peer into the room. My breath got caught into my throat as I gazed around the place. It was a lot more clean and neat then I would have expected. Tuckers lab seemed no different then the last time I had seen it. It seemed that the only difference was the freezing air and the lack of light.

I walked into the room, old memories dancing in my head, not very pleasurable memories at that. A surgical table sat in the center of the room, surrounding it was various other tools and sources Tucker had used to try and recreate…

Nina.

I closed my eyes hard, I didn't want to remember. Nina was so innocent and pure… what Tucker had done to her…

"Edward, just move forward, get to the room, and leave. It's simple." My words were strained, but I had to listen to myself. I took in a few deep breaths to help calm my thumping heart. I limped my way around the hefty sized table and towards the double wooden doors on the other side of the room.

Just one look then I could go. It was so simple.

I placed my flashlight back in my mouth as I grabbed both the handles of the doors. At the same time I pulled both the doors open.

A groan of disappointment fell from my lips. The red water was totally gone. I knew deep inside it would be like that, but one could still hope, right?

I flashed the light around the room without leaving the doorway. There was still a rather large hole in one of the walls that Scar had once created to save my life, but, other than that, the room was relatively clean. I

looked up at the ceiling; the array I had created was still engraved in it. I angled the light towards the floor; the same array was still there too.

Huh?

I blinked a few times. Wait… no… was I seeing things? The array wasn't the same... There was something off about it. Something wasn't right, but what? I squinted but I couldn't make out what exactly was different.

I took a step into the room, but nearly tripped over-

I flashed the light quickly towards my feet.

Shit.

The trip wire cut into my pants while I yanked it with my leg.

Hmm, wasn't that just convenient? You would have thought that I would have noticed something like that. Teaches me for not being more cautious.

I quickly threw myself away from the door as a big flash of light burst throughout the room. The pressure of the explosion hit me in one giant heat wave; it added more acceleration to my mid-air get away.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

The pressure caused my body to compact hard against something behind me. A shot of pain danced throughout my body.

My head smacked hard against what ever was behind me, causing my world to suddenly go black.

* * *

_I peered into the kitchen through the crack of the door. I hid behind the rest of the wooden fixture. _

"What do you mean I can't teach my child alchemy?"

My mother walked across the kitchen after turning off the sink, a now clean plate was held firmly in her hands. "Dear, you know how dangerous alchemy can be. I think one alchemist in the family is enough."

"Trisha, it's educational."

My mother looked at my father, an exasperated expression on her face. "I am not comfortable with our children doing alchemy." She sat down at the kitchen table across from my father. "You tell me so many dangerous stories about alchemists…maybe when he gets older, more mature. Then we can talk about it. Besides, I doubt he will even be able to understand the texts at such a young age, they're too complicated."

My fathers laugh was jolly. "Don't underestimate our child; I think Edward will make a great alchemist someday."

My mother giggled as she began to rub her abdomen. "Hmm, maybe this little one will make a great one too."

I smiled as I turned to leave, but the door suddenly creaked on me. Both my parents looked at me disapprovingly because of my spying on them.

My father then smirked. "Edward, come here."

I looked at my father cautiously, but he still beckoned for me to come with a smile on his face.

Daddy…

"Edward, how could you ruin your mother?"

Huh.. What did he mean? I looked towards where my mother was sitting. What was once my beautiful mother… was now nothing more than a failed attempt at human transmutation. My eyes opened wide.

"No."

"Edward, how could you allow me to die?"

"Dad?"

Blood began to poor from my father's chest as he stood from the seat at the table.

"…Daddy…"

"You killed me."

"No…"

"Edward, you killed both of us."

I fell to the floor. "No no no no"

I grabbed my head in a poor attempt to stop the throbbing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

"oooooooooooo"

I began to violently cough. Oh God, my chest felt like it was on fire. Why did I hurt so much, what the heck?

"Edward, are you alright?"

"Sir, his eyes are opening."

"I'm aware of that."

My eyes were refusing to focus. Fresh sterile air entered my mouth and nostrils as I tried to convince myself to breath, but I ended up with another set of violent coughs instead. It was too hard and painful to breath.

"Edward, can you hear me?"

"Sir, he inhaled too much smoke, its going to be hard for him to respond."

"What about a concussion? Does he have one?"

I felt my eyes being pulled at. I tried to see who was pulling at me, but I just couldn't focus. Everything was blurry, giant blobs of nothing. Where was I?

"Yes, we have to take him to the hospital right away."

"What the hell happened in there? Give me the report."

I tried to listen in, but my world was beginning to waver. I couldn't keep focus; it hurt too much to breath. I couldn't move.

Why couldn't I move?

I tried to force myself to sit up, but my attempts at movement were suddenly stopped by two very strong hands.

"Edward, stay still. You're in no condition to move."

I tried to force my voice to work, but only rasps of empty air came out. What was going on? What's wrong with me?

"Edward, stay calm. We're going to get you to the hospital and get you some help. You've been injured."

I didn't want to go to the hospital. Why was I going to the hospital? I tried to shake my head, but the moment I got my head to move to one side, major jolts of pain shot through me. Oh holy mother of canned beans, I thought my head was going to split in half.

"Edward, you have been hurt. We got to get you out of here. Stay calm."

"n…o…"

"Edward, stop trying to speak."

I blinked a few times; the blob over me was starting to take form. Dark hair, dark eyes, blue ugly stupid uniform.

"Ro…y…"

"Edward, will you listen to me for once? Calm down, we're going to put you into the ambulance now."

Roy's form quickly dispersed back into a blob. I tried to get focus again, but my reality was slowly slipping away. I couldn't keep grasp of it. It only took a few more moments before my world turned to a blissful white.

* * *

Authors note:

I sent the original form of this chapter to my critic and she was very honest with her opinion. SO! I rewrote it. And boy am I happier then ever that I rewrote it. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter I am having major writers block with. Its half way done but I'm trying to make it a lot more interesting then it's turning out. Hopefully I can get it to you guys soon and make it a good one.

Ok, I don't know about you guys but I think the episodes that deal with the 5th Lab were totally awesome XD. I had to add the 5th Lab! So, this Chap is dedicated to the total awesomeness of the 5th Lab. And, of course, I blew it up to show it my gratitude.

Thank you to my wonderful Beta reader Han-chan, and thank you for my great critic Egypt. Both are doing an amazing job!

* * *

Questions you might have…

1. Why is Roy ignoring the chimera situation?

Well, think about it. Enzo has done absolutely nothing to harm them and there is a major war brewing. Roy is a professional and does have many responsibilities; he has to think what's best for the country, not his own personal interest. So, I'm sure people might have an issue that Roy ignored the situation, but … well… OK, it's my story. XP

2. Why is Ed so scared when he's fighting that chimera, usually he kicks major ass!

When Ed crawls on the floor he mentions he's too scared to stand, there is a very logically reason for this (no, Ed has not become a major pansy)! It's because Ed is in the dark and can't see a single thing. I don't know about you, but I would be scared shitless if I was in his position. Sooo that's why our little Ed got scared.

3. The scene with Ed's parents, in his dream.

That is actually a memory splashed with a nightmare. You might wonder why Trisha would not like Ed doing alchemy since in the series she got so excited when he did it. Well, in the series alchemy reminds her of her husband, I don't know if you could actually say she was absolutely thrilled her sons were doing it. I feel its very possible Trisha would have been wary of having her sons doing alchemy if Daddy hadn't left. I don't know, I just thought it would be ironic in away.

**4. Gomp! Are you ever going to give Ed a break?**

Hahaha, where would the fun be in that? Besides, Ed needs a little adventure, right?

* * *

**SupremeHyren-** Martel was totally awesome. I'm sad they killed her off. Thanks for the review! 

**Katratzi-** Yup, that's the question that will need some answers to. Who created Enzo, and we can't forget the question of why Enzo was created. One can only wonder. Wahahaha! Thanks for the review!

**Maria-** I hope you liked this, I know I sort of tortured you with hints about it XP! Hope we can talk later online! Thanks for the review!

**Kwala-** Ed's love life I will make no comment on XP. But! I can tell you we will be heading into that stage of the fic in the next few chapters. Is Ed going to be thrown into war? Hmm... Lol sorry cant answer that. Will others be showing up? Finally, a question I can answer. Yup, some of the past characters will pop up here and there and I do have many surprises for people. I am still dreading the length of this fic; I don't want it too long. Wow, your comparing me to Stand up and Walk Forward. That fic had over 1000 reviews! Yes, I have heard of that fic but no I haven't fully read it. I know many people have spoken highly about it, some day I need to really sit down and read all of it. Thanks for the review!

**Geraniums-** Awe, thanks for the wonderful compliment. Yea, it did take some major skillz to create Enzo. Sooner or later in the fic everything about Enzo will be explained. Thanks for the great review!

**Arci-san-** Hello! Yay, I have another Spanish reader! Your review was very well written, your English seems fine. I was wondering if you could email me sometime. My email is squshymushy at yahoo dot com. I would really love it if I could talk to you! Thanks for the review and I'm happy you like Riza and Roy. RizaXRoy, a couple I believe you can't deny!

**Lelann-** Yup, a war is happening. Scary thing for Amestris, and scary for Ed since he's in the military. We will learn more about Enzo as the fic goes on. Thanks for the review!

**MarshmellowDragon-** Awe, don't cry! LOL! Ed taking a drugged vacation, that's brilliant. A very good idea indeed, hahaha, that would make a great fic. But no, no vacation for Ed in this one. Thanks for the great comments on the fic, I really appreciate it. Will more people die that we know? Well, that would be a spoiler if I told you. I can say yes there is still more death in the fic but I wont comment on if it's anyone we might know, sowwy! Thanks for the great review!

**Sorceress-fox-** Yup, Ed is a messy man. I wrote that in to show how much Al used to compliment Ed. I feel that Al kept his brother constantly in order throughout the series. And heck, geniuses must have their flaws. Thanks for the review!

**Aharah Musici-** Thanks for the corrections, I'll get right on it! Yea, Ed can be a jerk at times. He was never perfect in the series, rather stubborn and jerkish actually. And Klose, well, she was always a pretty weird girl. So, I wouldn't worry to much about it. Thanks for the review and the corrections! Much appreciation!

**Koru Ro-ze-** Hey! I have been enjoying your reviews! I'm curious though, who is your favorite couple for Ed? Lol, I am noticing that you hate Winry and Klose very much so and you like RoyXRiza, so I'm curious. I am so happy someone finally noticed my milk flaw! I made a comment at the end of that chapter. I had known for awhile that I wrote that but never changed it. I thank you for pointing out the Flamel. I learned not too long ago that that's what the thing on Ed's back is called but forgot to correct it in my fic. So, because of you I can finally correct it, thanks! Ed does have the power of alchemy so since he can change the particle format of items we will pretend that it's also possible for him to change pigment formation. Ed is a very powerful alchemist so I wouldn't be surprised if he could do something like that. Ed being all fatherly to Al, I am happy you like that, I thought would be the best relationship to give the two because of their age gap. Yes, I love naked Ed also. I had to add that part in, just because I had to. He would be one sexy mofo naked. And for Winry's cooking, I always noticed her in the kitchen near the end of the series. For some reason I kept thinking 'wow, since she compares cooking to machinery, her cooking must suck.' And also I personally am horrible at cooking so I thought it would be fun to write about it. Hmm, I hope I covered most of your reviews XD! You made many comments. Thank you so much for your great reviews! Very fun to read.

**Han-chan-** YAY! My 100th reviewer and also my fantastic beta reader! Much love and thanks for the review!

Wahoo! Most commented chapter to date!

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	15. Ivory Eyes

If I owned Fma then Iwould give everyone a treat to show my love.It's a sad world today since there are no treats to give. Someone, share the love. Give methe rights to Fma!**

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**Held**

By Gomp

"Thank you Doctor, I'm happy to hear that."

"Take care Miss."

A click rang out into the room, it sounded like the shutting of a door.

One of those voices… something about the female voice rung as familiar.

My eyes felt heavy as I forced them to open. All I could see were blobs of disfigurement.

"Ed?" I felt something soft and warm gently grab onto my arm. I was pretty positive it was someone's hand.

"Edward, are you ok?"

"I…I…" A violent cough tore its way from my throat. My chest felt like it was on fire and my throat felt dryer then the freakin' Great Desert. What the hell?

The person's hand was removed from my arm and grabbed onto both sides of my face; they directed me to look up. "Edward, are you alright?"

The blob in front of me began to take form, slowly but surely.

"Kl…o…" Another set of coughs began to erupt. Oh man, it even hurt to breathe!

After the coughs subsided, a cup was immediately placed to my lips. I allowed small portions of water to enter my mouth, ever so carefully and slightly. The chill of the liquid teased my sore throat.

Klose's other hand went through my hair, lifting it away from my face. The act reminded me of Winry, the many times she did that after my auto-mail surgery. I never liked it when people touched my hair.

Why was Klose in my room? And why was I in so much pain?

"Are you done?" I presumed she was talking about the water, I nodded and the cup was taken away. There was more moisture in my throat now, I took a cautious swallow and this time it didn't hurt as much.

"Wh..at's…goin.g...o..n?" My voice was raspy, it still irritated my vocals to speak, but heck, I had to say something.

"Good, you're responsive. Don't you remember anything?"

Remembered what? I sat there for a few moments trying to rack my brain.

Remember… remember.

Remember…

Hmmm…

Enzo, 5th Laboratory, chimera, big boom.

Oh yea, how about that? I remembered, heh.

I gave a tiny innocent smile and looked around the room. The room was painted a dull white, and it was a single. I was fairly positive that I was in a hospital room; it would explain why Klose was there.

But then again, it didn't exactly explain _why_ Klose was in the room. I eyed her warily. "O..rder..s?"

Klose at first simply stared at me, I suppose unsure by what I was asking her. But, it didn't take long for realization to sink in. Her eyes opened wide as she shook her head. "Oh no, I was just worried about you, along with every one else." Her smile seemed almost shy.

Then her smile turned into an evil smirk. "I am sure General Mustang is going to have a field day with you."

Roy, oh crap. Oh man, was she right! Roy was going to kick my ass, possibly even worse then Izumi ever could. I was going to be a dead man, 6ft under. Heck, after Roy was finished with me there wouldn't even be a body to bury; I was going to be cremated!

"Edward, you ok?"

I shot Klose a pleading gaze. I spoke my words slowly. "Get me." I swallowed to give my throat some more moisture. "...the hell out of…he…r..e." I began to cough again. My body… it hurt so damn much. Why did it hurt so much to breathe?

As if Klose was reading my mind, she answered the question for me. Edward, try not to over exert yourself. You inhaled a lot of smoke from the fire at 5th Laboratory. I doubt you want to make things worse for yourself."

Fire? The last thing I remembered was the explosion; I suppose it would make sense that there was a fire.

That's right, the explosion, and the chimera.

I carefully used my auto-mail hand to pull down the neck of my hospital shirt. There was gauze wrapped around my left shoulder, just great. Then again, I should have been grateful that I was still in one piece.

My brain suddenly began to run a mile a minute. Why was there a trip wire at the 5th Laboratory? Was the chimera just one of Tucker's extras or was it actually there to guard the room? The array, I didn't get to figure out what was wrong with it…

"Ed, I should probably get the doctor. Are you going to be ok by yourself?"

I gave Klose a nod; in return she gave me one of her sweet smiles and left the room. I found it a little odd that Klose had been in the hospital room waiting for me, I had really never had anyone but my family or military personnel on orders do something like that for me. But, it was a rather nice gesture of her. Everyone was worried about me? It was actually a rather odd sensation to have people care that much. I mean, I suppose I knew they have always cared, in some distinct way, but it still was weird.

Within a few minutes a jolly, old, and fat man came walking in with Klose by his side, I could only presume he was the doctor. The man flipped through sheets that were on a clip board and rubbed his white mustache while skimming through the pages.

"Well, well, well, it's not very often we have a celebrity as a patient. How are we doing today Major Fullmetal Alchmist? Your friend here has informed me that you have finally awakened."

Nice… sweet, just what I wanted: another person who recognized me.

My voice was still raspy, but it came out much smoother then my other futile attempts at speech. "I am not an alchemist anymore. Just tell me the damage."

The man gave me a smirk. "Well, I suppose your right, you aren't an alchemist anymore. Ahh, the damage report you ask? Hmm, let's see." His eyes quickly danced over the paper. "Yes, yes, well you have done quite the number on yourself. You had a concussion when you were first brought in, but that safely passed. We had to give you stitches for your right shoulder, so the skin on your shoulder will be tender for the next few days. The skin that is near your connector pallets for your auto-mail has been badly irritated, but luckily not burned; the heat from the blast caused your auto-mail limbs to heat up. You have severe irritation to the upper respiratory system from inhaling too much smoke, which I'm sure you've discovered already, but don't worry, that will pass rather quickly. You have some gashes on your back which we didn't need to stitch, but we did bandage up. Other than that, nothing broken, just a lot bruises. And, oh yes, it seems you were knocked out by a table top compacting with the back of your neck, so your neck might be sore. But all in all, you're a lucky man to be alive Major Elric."

I gave a mournful sigh, this wasn't supposed to happen! Talk about horrible timing. "How long am I stuck here for?"

The man walked closer to the bed, his flabby stomach bounced slightly with his every step. "Well, if you remain stable, I am sure by tomorrow morning we can release you. I want to keep you over night to make sure everything checks out ok."

The man looked at something curiously; suddenly he reached out his hand and grabbed the end of my long braid. I looked at him perplexed.

"Well, it also looks like your hair didn't make it out untouched either. Look, it has been slightly scorched."

"Huh?"

I quickly grabbed the tip of my messy braid out of the man's hands and looked at it. My hair… it had been burned…

Maybe only an inch or two was damaged, but oh God…

My voice came out like a little child's. "…no…" Why was life so cruel!

Just my luck, why did stuff like this always happen to me?

* * *

Klose had left awhile ago, needing to do some work. Her stay had been rather short; she left almost immediately after the doctor did. She told me we would catch up later, so, I suppose I would be seeing her later. 

When I first woke up my body had felt like one big ache, but, the doctor was so kind as to give me a nice dose of pain killers. The happy pills, as I like to call them, gave my body a neat numb feeling to it, the medicine doing its charm. I was never one who was into pills, I never liked chemicals messing with my body, but man, being in pain was never a favorite of mine either.

For the past hour I had been constantly drifting in and out of a light sleep, the only reason I kept waking up was because stupid things kept distracting me. The chirp of a bird from outside, or a nurse checking in, it didn't matter what the source of the sound was, everything just woke me up. I was becoming very frustrated.

What finally fully forced me out of my daze was a loud rattling sound coming from the knob of my door. Someone was trying to open it, but for some reason the door wasn't cooperating with them. It took a few more tries before the door finally crept open, revealing a man I so did not want to see.

His cane smacked against the tile of the floor as he used it to help him walk. He did not look at me as he silently walked into the room, the door shutting behind him. The clank of his cane was the only sound that detruded the silence between us.

Oh shit, I was going to die.

I pulled my blankets up higher around my body, I don't know what I was thinking, maybe I could hide myself? I stared at Roy as he stopped a good few feet away from my bed, his eyes hidden by his shagged hair.

I wondered how he planned to kill me. Was I going to die by his flames? Or would he decide to be more hands on, choke me to death? Roy was a man of many possibilities.

I was too young to die!

"Edward…"

That voice… I shivered. It was void of emotions. I wanted to scream for Roy not to hurt me; he had to remember I still had family. I wanted to try and defend myself; oh boy did I want to. But I was in no condition and was too scared to do anything; I laid there in my bed frozen. My hands gripped my bed sheets in pure utter fear, oh god, this was the end of Edward Elric.

…or maybe not.

Roy's eye finally met mine; I didn't see anger nor the threat of death. No… what I saw was…worry? Oh man, I was saved!

"Roy?"

"I haven't received any information on your condition, I've been at the remains of the 5th Laboratory throughout the night, and most of today I've been stuck in meetings." It explained the tired look he carried. Aww, Roy…

My voice finally piped in. "Do you want to take a seat?"

Roy shook his head; he seemed like a lost kid somehow. The poor guy, he seemed totally exhausted. Damn myself; look at the shit I put people through.

"I stopped by just to see how you were doing."

I smiled at Roy, trying to give him enough reassurance as possible. "Doctors say I'll live. I got some stitches on my left shoulder, other than that, minor bumps and bruises." My voice still was slightly raspy, but I saw no point in explaining that one.

Roy lifted an eyebrow. "So, it's not that bad?"

I nodded, hoping my expression told him I really was alright. "I'm ok."

"Good, then I can beat the shit out of you without feeling guilty." …Roy never swore.

My mouth fell open. "Wha-what?"

"I don't like beating up defenseless people." He spoke to me like this was a fact.

Roy began to advance towards my bed; he advanced while leering at me.

…he actually leered at me. Oh man, what a freaky guy he could be.

I pushed myself up more in the bed. I knew I was going to die and trust me; it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Roy, I can explain myself, really, I can-"

"You better damn well explain yourself! For all the stupid irresponsible things you have done Edward… this isn't the worst, but this is high up there!"

Well, wasn't that just comforting.

Roy stopped; he stood directly at the foot of the bed. He then glared at me, a very threatening glare. A very scary, threatening, glare. Eek!

"I could kill you." 'Could' was a good word, better than 'I am going to kill you.'

"Roy, calm down I-"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! Tell me now, why the hell were you in the 5th Laboratory?" His question held a threat to it, a threat Roy would carry out if I didn't answer.

So, not wanting to die that very moment, I explained to him everything. About the hunch on red water, about the chimera, and about the trip wire. I made sure I spoke with deep detail and that I got everything covered. I even told Roy about the nasty glares Enzo use to give me. Deep down I knew that if there was someone I was going to have to trust, it was Roy.

Roy stayed silent the whole time; I knew he was still listening because every now and then he would give a subtle growl at something he didn't like.

"-next thing I knew, I'm waking up here."

The room fell silent. The only thing I was aware of was my own breathing.

Roy's lips pursed together. It looked like he was about to say something, but then stopped.

"I felt my evidence was sufficient, look what I ended up finding. I mean, maybe-"

"I don't want to hear it."

"Roy I-"

Roy gripped the edge of my bed. "I said, I don't want to HEAR IT!"

I swallowed rather loudly, taken back. It was better just to shut up when Roy was like this. I had dealt with Roy for most my youth, he had only been this upset with me maybe once or twice. Sure, usually I would argue with Roy because it was a thing I loved to do. But I knew when he was this upset; it was better just to be silent.

"Why didn't you consult me before you went waltzing in on property you're not even legally allowed to enter?"

I blinked a few times. I was military personnel, why wouldn't I have had the clearance?

Roy seemed to notice my look of confusion. His face twisted with anger. "How many times must I tell you the military isn't the same way it used to be Edward! We don't have the power that we use to; you can't just go into condemned government property without a warrant or clearance these days. Damn it Edward, why don't you actually use your head for once?"

"How am I supposed to know these things?" My heart fell slightly. "I don't even want to be here."

Roy's eye twitched. "You want jail time Edward? Is that what you want? I sent you a damn reference book with all the different rules and regulations! Don't tell me you didn't know." I had a feeling that specific reference book was what was holding up the side of my bed, heh.

I looked out the window, not really wanting to look at Roy. The summer day was bright and sunny, I groaned at its glory. My voice was quiet and timid. "I don't want to go to jail."

"Then get your act together! I don't think you know how much trouble you could have been in for this little escapade."

I looked at Roy with surprise. "I could have been in? What do you mean by that?"

"I covered your ass, that's what I mean! The Parliament wasn't very pleased when they heard that the 5th Laboratory had been set on fire by an arsonist who's in their own military!" In away, what Roy said was rather humorous; he was the last person on earth to be calling someone else an arsonist.

"Roy, it was a trip wire, it wasn't my faul-"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THE INVESTIGATION, SO IT WAS YOUR FAULT!"

My fist slammed into the mattress, my old stubborn self beginning to rise. "I'm not like you Roy; I can't sit back and ignore stuff like this! There was a trip wire, a chimera, the array… don't you get it?"

Roy began to grit his teeth; his eye flashed an unreadable emotion. His hands turned a pale white as they squeezed tightly against the steel bar of my bed. "Ever since you were a child I could never contain you, you are nothing but a disobedient soldier."

His words were crude. But mine could be even cruder. "The only one at fault is the shitty General who is in charge of that disobedient soldier, Roy."

In a blink of an eye Roy was around the bed and standing beside me. His hands began to twist, his mouth forming words that I suppose would never be fully spoken. "…You-I-kill…"

"You want to kill me? I highly doubt the doctors would really like that. But, if it's what you want, then just do it." My voice was rather dead panned. I wasn't sure what else to say, I deserved Roy's anger. Roy had specifically told me to only investigate Enzo's death, nothing else. I made the choice to disobey him. But hell, Roy really could piss me off at times. Didn't he listen to what I had told him? I thought that I made it more than obvious that something was going on!

Roy suddenly leaned forward, his hands reaching out. I was shocked by the action, I had a feeling that he was seriously contemplating on choking me. Roy had never actually ever considered hurting me before; I always thought that we were never serious with our words… his hands inched towards me, his fingers twitching. I could do nothing but stare at him, I was too curious and shocked by his display to push his hands away. Had I truly sent Roy over the edge? A few random incoherent words were mumbled under his breath, his eye still a blazed. His fingers brushed against my neck, his hands began to round…

Then suddenly, his hands fell away, away to his sides.

Roy's shoulders hunched over, his face looked at the floor, his hair covering his eyes. He looked as if he had been defeated.

"Edward…"

My mouth suddenly felt dry… what was I to say?

The seat Klose had been sitting in earlier was suddenly occupied by Roy. He placed his hands over his face, not allowing me to see what he was trying to hide.

In a hushed whisper, Roy's voice came through the cracks of his fingers "…I'm sorry..."

I leaned back in my bed as I silently watched Roy. Roy had always been so calm and collected; I had never seen him so… upset before. I couldn't believe… he had actually… Roy had actually…

I don't know how long we stayed silent, Roy in his self dwell, me just staring. I wasn't exactly sure what to do, was I supposed to try and comfort him? Was I supposed to ignore his presences, be angry with him? I couldn't just leave him like that… could I?

I shook my head, no, I couldn't. We were both angry, we both just got lost in the moment. My voice was soft. "Roy, it's alright. I deserved that."

Roy shook his head rapidly, his hands still covering his face. His voice came out small. "Sometimes Edward, I just want to protect you. Hughes… he uses to hide things from me about you brothers because he knew I was too protective. I never realized how much I truly cared till… just now really."

I stared in shock. I knew Roy had always cared… but this…

"I… I don't need protection; I can take care of myself."

Roy removed his hands from his face, for the first time ever I could truly see age taking its toll on his facial features. "You could have died yesterday. Edward, there are so many times that you should have died."

"Yet, I am still alive."

"One day, your luck is going to run out."

I closed my eyes, I wouldn't let my luck run out unless I felt it was appropriate. I had too much to live for… Granny, Winry, Al…

I heard the ruffle of fabric; I opened my eyes to see Roy had taken off his military jacket. He placed it over the back of the chair. He leaned forward, his hands clasped in front of him. He gave me a small smile.

"So, how many stitches?" His random choice in topic surprised me at first, but then I realized it helped released the tension between us.

I shrugged my auto-mail shoulder. "I wouldn't let the doctor tell me."

Roy lifted an eyebrow, a smirk dancing on his lips. "Still scared of needles? I'll have to remember that."

I bared my teeth. "It's not like that." Even though it totally was, ever since I was a kid anything that dealt with needles scared the living be-jezzes out of me. The only person who ever was successful of giving me a shot without me screaming and wailing was Psiren, which was rather odd considering she ended up being a thief.

Roy's smirk suddenly disappeared; it was replaced by an unreadable expression. But, I could tell that his expression told me that he wanted to talk military talk.

"You truly believe something is going on?"

I nodded.

Roy sighed as he ran a hand through his greasy black hair. "I don't want the Parliament getting involved. Who knows whose pulling the strings on this one? If I'm going to allow you to investigate, I will need you to keep up with your office work. We're short staffed, I can't have a slacker."

Roy… was going to allow me to investigate? "Roy, but-"

He lifted his hand to silence me. "I know you too well Edward. If I don't allow you to do this you will do it behind my back, I want to be aware of everything you do and all the information you collect." He then tapped his finger to his chin. "Your probation might cause some trouble; don't you still have two weeks left?"

"Yea, around that."

"Well then, I suppose I'll just have to see if I can pull some strings. But, it's going to be hard no considering the past days events." He eyed me accusingly, I looked back innocently.

A thought suddenly crossed my mind. "The 5th Laboratory, how much damage had been sustained?"

Roy rubbed his eyes, I could tell that he was tired and worn out. "The east end is totally collapsed; it collapsed almost immediately after the fire fighters got you out of there. Most the building was consumed by flames, but the structure still stands. The building is scheduled to be knocked down tomorrow."

Shit, the east end was where the array was. What a lost cause, I didn't even get to learn what was wrong with it.

Roy pulled out his silver watch, flicking it open. A groan escaped his lips. "I better go, I need to get home or Riza is going to get worried."

"Tell Riza I give my thanks for lending her husband to me."

Roy smiled at me before he stood, picking up his cane which had fallen to the floor long ago. "Sure."

I knew I could never be upset with Roy for what he had done; I suppose I understood his anger towards me. I guess that's just how our relationship was. We fought, we yelled, we forgave, and then we moved on.

* * *

Havoc walked with me to my dorm. He had spent most of the morning entertaining me before I had been released from the hospital. 

If there was one thing about Havoc which drove me nuts, it would be his infatuation on complaining about his dating life. I mean, he had always been bad, but now he was worse than ever. I suppose it was because he was creeping up higher on the age scale and now he didn't have the excuse of Mustang anymore.

We made the final turn which lead down my dorm hallway. Havoc's arm helped made sure I kept my balance. I was surprised to discover how bad my left leg hurt when compared to my stitched up shoulder. The doctor had told me that the skin had been irritated, but I had no clue how badly it hurt to walk with it.

A moan of pain escaped my lips as I almost tripped over an invisible crack causing my left leg to be jerked.

Havoc's hands were instantly gripping me around the waste. He held his unlit cigarette tightly between his lips, the scent of tobacco rolling off his tongue. "Are you going to be ok?"

I nodded. "Just give me a moment."

We stopped in the middle of the hallway as I took in a few breaths.

"You really know how to bang yourself up."

I glared at him. "Yea, well… just leave me alone."

He smirked. "Edward, the boy who never changes."

I straightened myself up, silently informing him that I was ready to walk. "I have changed."

"Getting taller doesn't count."

"Ha, ha, you're just so funny."

We finally made it to my door; I dug through my pocket, searching for my key. It took me a few seconds before I finally retrieved it.

I unlocked my dorm room door before I turned to look at Havoc. "Thanks for helping me back to the room."

Havoc smiled. "Of course, anytime." He pulled out his cigarette before he continued. "The rest of the crew and I never see much of you Edward, really, stop by once in awhile. I know since Roy is now General were not as close as we used to be, but really, stop by."

Havoc and the others were all still part of Roy's unit but had been spread to different rankings and duties. It wasn't like the old days, when everyone was constantly together. Roy was now a General, even though his responsibilities were mainly office work, that didn't mean he had much time to socialize like he used to.

"Yea, I'll make sure to do that sometime."

Havoc nodded off, sticking his cigarette back in his mouth and turning on his heels. I defiantly was going to have to stop by and see everyone sometime; it had really been far too long since we all had been together. Well, at least most of us could get together considering Riza was gone now.

I took a few more cautious steps into my dark room before I shut the door. I carefully limped around the dark room, barely able to see a single thing. I threw all my pain killers and hospital supplies the doctor had given me onto my bed. I carefully took off my red jacket, making sure not to jar my injured shoulder. Once my jacket was off I threw that to the bed.

Light… I needed light.

I limped slowly across the room, finding the switch near the door.

I turned to look around my room, my eyes opening wide for a moment. "Great, I'll have to thank Roy later." Trust me, that was said very sarcastically. I eyed my desk.

Bounds of paperwork were piled on top of it, and trust me; I wasn't the one who had put it all there. Isn't it considered breaking and entering when someone enters your room without permission? Ha, oh right, I was on a military base. They could do whatever the hell they wanted, bastards.

My grumbles of displeasure rang unheard into the room. I limped my way to my desk, my eyes scanning through some of the paperwork. They were all just forms which needed signing, nothing really note worthy. Hey look, even the paper work I had avoided the day before had been neatly placed on my desk's chair, wasn't that just sweet of them?

A colored folder suddenly caught my eye. It stuck out from the rest of the dull coloring of the work which flooded my desk; the folder was a bright blue color. I pushed a few papers away that were covering it; a label was stuck onto the front of the folder.

My glasses, where the hell were my glasses? I padded my clothing, finally finding my glasses case in my back pocket. Amazingly enough they hadn't been damaged. I slipped them on so I could read the label.

In big bold letters it stated: 'Lieutenant Soto'. Underneath that, in smaller letters it said: 'Crime Lab'. And, just to add flavor to the whole thing, in even smaller letters, but still boldly sticking out, it said: 'Top Secret'

My lips suddenly went dry, I was pretty sure it was the biopsy report. The folder actually felt rather heavy, and it obviously held some thickness to it, interesting. I wouldn't have thought a biopsy report could be so… big.

I carefully lifted the pile of paper work off my desk's chair, hissing in pain when I carried too much weight on my left arm, and placed it on the ground. I sat down in the chair before I flipped the folder open.

My eyes quickly scanned the pages, taking in whatever key words I knew I would need to remember. The folder contained much more then just the biopsy report, it had Enzo's personal file, which I had the feeling was curtsey of Roy; also it held the investigation report on Enzo's room.

I quickly skimmed through the biopsy report; it repeated almost everything I was already aware of. Even though the report didn't directly say he was a chimera, it was pretty damn obvious that he was one. My eyes suddenly went to a screeching halt at a certain paragraph.

'Lacerations showed bountiful evidence that claw of a mammal species made incisions on the deceased. Between various hair follicles and measure of jaw line from bite marks, it gives further speculation of to the specific type of mammal the offender is. Inconsistent with any specific breed, but, with consideration of width of the incisions, possible relations to larger feline family. Hair follicles have no match.'

I squeezed my nose bridge with my fingers as I re-read the paragraph. I actually wasn't very surprised by what I read, even though I should have been. I was pretty positive now that my first speculation on the situation was correct; it was another chimera that killed Enzo. I was starting to get the feeling that chimera were slowly taking over the world, this was getting annoying.

I skipped over a few paragraphs and flipped the next page, a photo began to slide down the paper, I grabbed it before it fell out of the folder. It was a close up on one of the bite marks in Enzo's skin.

I wonder…

I pulled up my pant leg. Even though the chimera from the 5th lab could have never broken my auto-mail, it did leave markings on the perfection of the steel, which I was sure Winry was going to give me an earful over. I compared the photo with my leg.

"Of course, they don't match." Nope, no hope there. I groaned as I dropped the leg of my pant.

I looked closely at the photo; it seemed the canine teeth largely protruded more than the others. There were around 30 teeth total on the upper jaw. I could see why Miss Colville would presume the animal to be possible feline, but, it was only an assumption. Without a positive ID on the animal I didn't plan to have a closed mind on things.

I sighed as I skipped to the next report. I wasn't expecting much from the crime lab, I knew there was lack of advancement in the investigation department, the most they could do was give a theory of possible events. Since I was positive it was a chimera, I was hoping for possible footprints. But, upon reading the very first paragraph, I realized they had found something much more interesting.

* * *

"So they stood here, right by the wall?" 

The military officer nodded. "Yes sir, we came to this conclusion because no blood has been splattered on the wall." He pointed at a few specs of dried blood that was right by the very spot he had been previously referring to. "Something blocked the rest of the blood from hitting the wall; a second party is the only logical explanation."

I crossed my arms as I examined the spot he was talking about. "Are you positive? Isn't possible that the blood we see is all the blood that was splattered? I mean, how are you sure there was more blood to begin with?"

The man nodded his head. "On the floor there is evidence that the spray would have been rather large and if you look higher on the wall it shows even more evidence." He pointed up above the empty spot; a few specs of dried blood were above, just like he said. "Major Elric, there was someone or something standing right there. I personally can assure you this, I can even tell you that the offender was around 5'3-5'5'"

I grumbled incoherently under my breath. That person better not be 5'5, that would make them taller than "Isn't possible that the animal that attacked Lieutenant Soto could have just gotten the blood on itself?" Yup, I was going to try every single loop hole there was.

The man straightened his blue uniform. His green eyes looked at me; they seemed to hold much knowledge. A smirk crossed his lips while he shook his head. "I have been part of the investigations department for sometime now. By past investigations, I am very confident in saying that from the power of the spray to reach almost this far across the room, it would have to have been the tearing of the jugular vein with a mass amount of pressure. I briefly spoke to Miss Colville-"

I shot the man a daring look. Most likely he spoke to her before Enzo's little secret was revealed, but still…

"-she and I both agree that Lieutenant Soto was killed by the breaking of the neck. After that, the animal that killed him began to feast.-" An animal breaking the neck of its prey wasn't uncommon, rather, it made sense. Enzo was its dinner I suppose.

The thought disgusted me.

"-The way the body was positioned on the bed gives me the assumption that he was first attacked standing, facing forward, and then he was thrown to the bed. By the bite marks on the neck, Miss Colville believes the animal jumped forward, grabbing the neck for its first attack, top teeth to the right side, lower jaw grabbing to the left, and tore out his throat. Because the animal would have had to twist its body slightly to get that type of grip, and because the lower jaw was to the left, the animal's lower body would have a more left pull. Since the blood splatter is to the right of the wall, the animal could have not taken the spray. And, considering the type of pressure the animal would produce with that type of pull, it explains why the spray reached so far across the room."

Ok, I had to admit it, I was impressed. I stared between the wall and the tattered blood stained sheets on the bed. "I read there were no footprints by the 2nd occupant."

The man gave a sigh while he ran a hand through his buzzed red hair. "Not a one. It's amazing considering the amount of blood; you would think they would have stepped in some at least once."

I looked at the stained floor. "Yea, why is there so much blood everywhere?" It didn't make a heck of a lot of sense if Enzo had been torn apart on the bed.

The officer knelt on the floor; he ran his hand over a dried blood spot. "Well, I'm not an expert on animals, but I've heard some animals like to walk around with their food. It might be some type of dominate action, I'm not sure. But I can say every time the animal would take a piece of… the body, it would drag it away and eat it somewhere else in the room, then return for more. I am pretty sure of this since we found pieces of Lieutenant Soto's limbs and organs scattered all around." That sounded rather gross.

"I see, but you still can't tell me the specific type of animal?"

The man sighed as he shook his head. "I have never seen paw prints such as these, there huge."

I bit back a laugh; he obviously had not seen the chimera I fought in the 5th Lab. I was positive that the paws on that chimera were much larger. But he was right, the size of the foot prints were rather large. How someone snuck something that big into the military base was beyond comprehension. The crime lab had a zoologist examine the prints, but they couldn't even give a specific type of animal.

I walked as causally as possible across the room, biting my lip from the pain that shot from my left leg, and knelt by the officer. I looked at one of the prints closely; I wasn't surprised that I originally had missed them when I first found Enzo's corpse. The prints just looked like oddly shaped blobs; most likely the chimera's feet were just badly deformed.

"Major Elric, there is something I would like to show you."

I looked up at the officer curiously. "Yes?"

"Well, when we were on the phone, you asked me why none of the animal prints followed out of the dorm."

I nodded, he was right. According to the report, the window had not been open, so how did the animal leave without a trace?

"Well, this might sound strange…"

I smiled at the man reassuringly. "Don't worry; I have seen a fair amount of strange things in my life time."

The man's face seemed unsure, but he continued. "Come here and look at these foot prints."

I walked across the room and looked at the prints he was talking about. The wide blobby-like prints walked across the floor, heading towards the front door. But, that's not what the officer wanted me to see, as the prints progressed closer to the door, slowly they got smaller and smaller, turning more into a visible type of paw print. But before the foot was fully… changed, the prints suddenly stopped.

I bit my tongue hard so no foul words would leave my mouth.

Shit.

The animal…it could… transform. I had only ever seen human chimera able to transform, never animal ones. Or did that mean it was human chimera? But, when the prints transformed, they resembled more animal-like. So it was defiantly an animal chimera. And the prints just ceased… what the hell was up with that?

Two offenders… there were two.

* * *

I limped towards my dorm; I felt the desperate need to take some pain killers. Hell, maybe sleeping pills would be better, knock me out for a few hours from the misery I was feeling. 

I used the wall to help carry my weight; I was pushing myself too far. Damn it, I needed to take better care of my body. But, I suppose it was all worth it. At least now I knew there had been a human occupant and a chimera. I was getting somewhere… at least I thought I was.

I sighed as I considered my options. I really did need to relax a little, but I had so much paperwork that needed to be done. I knew once I was feeling more together I was going to have to do a lot more research on the 5th Laboratory and also with Enzo's personal files it told me the location of his parents. By some lucky chance his parents lived on the outskirts of Central. I really wanted to speak to them, see if I could find more out about Enzo.

So, I either could sleep or do paperwork. Which sounded more appealing? I growled in irritation, I hated paperwork. And I truly meant that.

I pulled out my dorm key and unlocked the door. I opened the door and took a step in, a crinkling sound caught my attention, I had stepped on something. I removed my boot and looked down at the small piece of paper that laid on the wooden floor. I picked it up and tried to make out the words, but between the darkness of the room and my horrible eye sight, I couldn't make out anything it said.

Easily solved, I yanked out my glasses and slide them on while I walked to my window and pulled up the shades. In very light and in neat cursive writing the note said:

'Edward,

Meet me in room 112 of the west wing at 6 o'clock.

Kurty,'

I gave a smirk at the nick name. Room 112 of the west wing… I had a mild idea of where that was, but I actually wasn't sure if I had ever been there. I pulled out my father's pocket watch; I still had a few hours. With that much time I could get most of the paperwork I needed done for Roy. Oh hell, I might even be able to get it all done.

I took the small note and folded it up, placing it in my pocket. I then pulled off my jacket and placed it on my bed and walked to my desk. I eyed the mounds of paper that covered the whole desk top.

Give me a few hours along with some pain killers and I could get it all done, no problem. Oh yes, it would all be fully read and perfectly done.

* * *

I was totally exhausted by the time I finished the last paper. I signed my name on the line, and placed the paper on top of the pile of finished work. I took off my glasses and placed them on the desk. 

I was tempted to take a small nap, but when I looked at my watch I realized I only had 10 minutes till I was supposed to meet Klose, nice.

I stood up from my desk, groaning from the pain that rushed through my body. A slight dizzy feeling came over me, it was only mild, but God damn it, I hated being injured!

I pushed myself away from the desk and picked up my white gloves. I slid them on over my hands and limped towards the door, flicking the light switch off. I was hoping for whatever Klose wanted me for, it wasn't going to take long. I just wasn't feeling totally up to it.

I limped my way through the many corridors and hallways heading towards the west wing.

Considering how I felt, I think with most people I probably would have just said 'screw it, I'm not going', but Klose never asked much of me. And considering that she had visited me the other day, I felt I owed her.

I made another turn while beginning to read the door numbers, two more left turns and two more hallways and I would reach room 112. Faintly I could hear something in the distance. I listened closely, trying to decipher the noise.

"…music?"

My curiosity perked upon hearing the sound of the foreign melody, it caused my mood to sober up. The closer I got, the louder the music played. It was a song I had never heard before; the key was in minor, the tempo very grave. The song seemed extremely… melancholy. I suppose there was only one word to describe it. It was just…beautiful.

I forced my awkward steps to speed up as I made it to the hallway I was looking for. I read the door numbers quickly as the music loudly flooded through my ears. The wonders of the tone enchanted me in a way I had never felt before.

109-110-111-

112's door was open, the music played at its loudest.

I took a step into the rather large room; my eyes taking in the scene. Windows brought in slithers of the evening light, teasing the room with its tinge of orange. Black seats stretched around the room, all surrounding the center.

And only one thing sat in the center.

The piano played, the gleam of the keys hit Klose's eyes as she stared at the instrument in concentration. The music seemed to make the room move along with the player's body, or maybe it was the other way around. I wasn't sure.

I could do nothing but stare as emotions flared inside me. I was speechless, not because I had nothing to say, but because I had too much to say. I leaned heavily against the doorway without her knowledge of my presence.

Klose's fingers danced along the keys, she seemed to become one with the piano as fingers tapped the notes along the ivory pieces leaving a heavenly sound in their wake… the perfection of the music, the surreal-ness of it all. How could someone play like that? I was never one who truly understood the compassion and the emotion of music, but I knew her music was beyond all others. It simply captured me.

My steps were slow and went unheard; they followed along with the slow tempo. Each careful step I took, I got closer to Klose's form.

She played with no written music, her eyes only following her fingers, a small smile playing across her lips. I wanted to reach for her, place my hands over her own. I wanted to know what it felt like to create something so… precious. But I couldn't, I stopped a few steps away, unable to move.

…my hands were too stained to take part in something so overwhelming.

"Mommy, why can't I play with you?"

"Edward, you don't know how to read music."

"I don't care, I'll learn, just let me try."

"Come here, sit next to me, I'll show you what to do."

"Really?"

"Of course, I'll always show you what to do."

"…mom…"

The music suddenly stopped, Klose's eyes were on me. "Edward, you came."

Klose's sudden actions surprised me which caused me to stumble backwards. I stepped with my left foot the wrong way, sending a major jolt of pain straight through my body. A hoarse cry fell from my lips as I suddenly fell backwards, right onto my butt.

Klose was instantly at my side. "Edward, are you alright?"

I bit my lip from the pain I was feeling, I blushed from embarrassment, nice one Edward. It took me a few moments to fully compose myself, but once I felt good enough, I answered. "Yea, I'm fine."

Klose knelt down. "Here, let me help you up." She carefully wrapped her arms around my waste, helping me stand. She walked with me to one of the seats, sitting us both down.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have been so stupid. I should have never asked you to come here, of course you're in no condition."

I shook my head. "No, trust me, I'm happy I came. That song you were playing… it was amazing."

Klose flushed slightly. "You think so? It was a song I learned many years ago."

I smiled at her. "Well, I really liked it. You're really good."

"I'm happy you think so, I've been playing for a really long time. It has taken me forever and a lot of practice to become decent on the piano."

We both smiled at each other. But, for some reason we then fell into an uncomfortable silence, looking away from one another. I couldn't think of anything to say, I wasn't sure why she asked me there so I just stayed silent, waiting for her to speak.

A sigh finally escaped Klose's lips. "How are you feeling? I was surprised when I stopped by your room earlier and found you weren't there."

"I suppose you can say that I've seen brighter days, but I'm feeling ok. Yea, earlier I had to do some…work."

Klose's eyes fell on me, curiosity eating away at her. "What type of work?"

I gave her a helpless grin. "Sorry, that's classified."

"Does it deal with the 5th Laboratory or Enzo?"

I blinked a few times. I wasn't sure if she actually knew what she was talking about or just made a good guess. "I, uhh…well."

Klose's smile seemed almost innocent. "Don't forget I deal with most of General Mustang's paper work, and his door isn't totally sound proof."

"Klose… how much do you know?" If she was learning that much, I was tempted to inform Roy.

"If you would like me to be honest, I don't know a lot. Just between the 5th Lab and Enzo, I have been hearing about them a lot."

I scratched my head sheepishly. "Well, I must admit, you are well at observing. But, I seriously can't talk about this stuff with you."

Klose leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. "I figured that already, my rank isn't high enough."

"Yes, that's part of it."

She lifted an eyebrow. "What do you mean part of it?"

Great, I was digging myself into a grave. "Klose, can we please just drop the subject?"

Klose shook her head. "No, I want to know what you mean."

"Maybe another day."

"Edward, I want to know, and I want to know now." Oh man, she was sounding like Winry.

"Look Klose, I deal with some pretty dangerous cases. Knowing my business isn't always safe for bystanders, ok? Now, just drop the damn subject." I hated it when people were persistent.

"I see."

"Why did you ask me to come here?"

"To talk, I felt no one would bother us here."

I shot her a playful smile. "You sure you don't mean to interrogate?"

Klose smacked my auto-mail arm playfully then grabbed a piece of her long hair and twirled it between her fingers. "Well, you said before that we would talk… about your brother I mean. So, I was wondering if you could tell me now."

I racked through my brain, did I really say that? I suppose I did, heh. Klose was someone I felt I could trust, so I suppose it was ok.

I leaned back in my chair, trying to get comfortable. A sigh escaped my lips; this was going to take a really long time. "I suppose for me to explain Al to you I'm going to have to start from the beginning…"

* * *

I held the phone away from my ear; even with distance I could still hear her yelling. 

"Winry, calm down."

"Calm down? Al and I go to switch trains and what do we hear? A fire at Central with the 'Fullmetal Alchemist' having involvement, the only thing the reporters can see is him being taken away in an ambulance. I have been trying to call since yesterday and all anyone has told me is that your condition is unknown. And now you're telling me to calm down?"

"Reporters were there? They shouldn't have even been able to get close to the proximity. I wonder-"

"Edward… I am going to kick your- Ahh! I can't win with you."

I drummed my metallic fingers against the wall. "Winry, if I would have known that you guys knew then I would have called you guys the moment I got out of the hospital."

"And what if we didn't know? Were you going to try and keep it from us?" Shamefully, the answer was yes.

I sighed heavily into the phone. "I'm sorry I worried you guys."

It took a moment for Winry to answer, but I could tell she wasn't happy. Hell, she sounded down right depressing. "You're not fair."

"Have I ever been?"

"Once upon a time, yes."

I was surprised by her words, but the memories of our childhood came rushing back. I used to be the one who always made sure everyone had their equal share, the one who kept the balance between one another. I didn't become greedy until my mother-

"Did you talk to Granny?"

"Yes… Ed, I'm not sure of how quickly we can get to Dublis."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we still have a full house, and Granny doesn't want to put people on the street."

I agreed, the last thing I wanted was for people to be put out on the street. But, I found it even worse with the idea of Al and the Rockbells being in Rizenpool, it was just too close to the border.

"Isn't there someone that you can leave in charge of the house?"

"Granny and I have been discussing that, were going to see what we can do. Just don't forget how much Granny loves her house."

I knew how much Granny loved her house, and I couldn't even imagine how hard it would be for her to give the keys to someone else. But, what other options did we have? "I know. Winry, really, thanks for everything."

It almost seemed like I could feel Winry's smile. "Don't worry about it. Ed, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about. There have been rumor's going around that the announcement the Parliament is giving in two days is the announcement of war."

I was tempted to ask Winry what she was talking about, but then I realized how uninformed I most likely was. I hadn't even heard about an 'announcement'. But, if the Parliament was giving an announcement, most likely it was about the war.

"Yea?"

"Well, ever since Al and I got back to Rizenpool, everyone keeps demanding us to tell them what's going on."

I began to fiddle with my braid. I ended up having to cut the burned part of hair, so, my braid's tip now looked kind of funny. What could I say, I wasn't a hairstylist.

"Well, did you tell them?"

"No, I figured it would be smarter not to. Ed, people here are not happy with the idea of war. Some have even become violent with the thought."

I lifted an eyebrow, an action Winry would not see. "Violent? Rizenpool people have become violent?"

"Do you remember Mrs. Rugie?"

"How could I forget, she use to always give us sweets when we walked by her house as children." I use to love that woman; she was a very gentle elder lady.

"Well, she actually pushed me when I told her that I didn't know anything." Ok, maybe not that gentle.

My eyes opened wide. Mrs. Rugie pushed someone? "Are you joking?"

"Why would I be? Ed, are you going to be safe in Central? I mean, if Rizenpool citizens act that strongly with the idea of war…" I knew where she was going with this.

"Don't worry; I'm in a military facility."

"Yea, right where Parliament is located. I just want you to take care of yourself, I don't trust people."

"Winry, don't worry, I think I'll be fine with taking care of myself. Remember, I'm a big boy."

"Well actually, your not, you're still kind of smal-" AHH! She was evil.

"Shut up."

"Well, you're the one who said it first."

"Look, I'll be fine here. I honestly can take care of myself. The only thing I ask is for you to just see what you can do about Dublis. The sooner you guys leave the easier it will be for me to sleep at night."

"Awe Ed, you're losing sleep over me?"

"Can-it, you know what I mean."

Winry sighed. "Sometimes you can be a real pooper when it comes to teasing. I'll see what I can do, don't worr-" Winry's voice was suddenly dragged away from the phone; I could hear a distant conversation happening in the background. Moments later she picked up the phone again.

"Well Ed, the little booger right next to me has been waiting patiently for me to get off the phone so he can talk to you. But, I think I'm going to be mean and not let him have it."

I could hear Al's voice pipe in. "Winry! Give me the phone!"

I smiled at my brother's childish voice. After a few moments of the two teasing each other, the phone was handed to my brother. Al ended up being a worrywart and asked me a dozen indirect questions of if I was alright. Other than that, our conversation went smoothly. I was missing my brother like crazy already.

But, even though I enjoyed our conversation, one thing haunted me the whole time. Something Winry had said.

'People here are not happy with the idea of war. Some have even become violent with the thought.'

Unhappiness and violence never mixed well.

* * *

I proudly present Han- chan's omake! For all you RoyXEd fans out there!

…or maybe not.

Roy's eyes finally met mine; I didn't see anger nor the threat of death. No… what I saw was…affection? Oh man, he likes me too!

"Roy?"

"I haven't received any information on your condition, I've been at the remains of the 5th Laboratory throughout the night, and most of today I've been stuck in meetings." It explained the tired look in his eyes. Aww, Roy… I was so sad you were not the first thing I saw when I awoke; it had to be that ugly Klose.

My voice finally piped in. "Do you want to take a seat?"

Roy shook his head; he seemed like a lost kid somehow. The poor guy, he seemed totally exhausted. Damn myself; look at the shit I put Roy through.

"I stopped by just to see how you were doing."

I smiled at Roy, trying to give him enough reassurance as possible. "Doctors say I'll live. I got some stitches on my left shoulder, other than that minor bumps and bruises." My voice still was slightly raspy, but I saw no point in explaining that one.

Roy lifted an eyebrow. "So, it's not that bad?"

I nodded, hoping my expression told him I really was alright. "I'm ok."

"Good, then I can cuddle you without feeling guilty." Roy came over and gently hugged me.

And we'll leave the rest to your imagination! V

Han-chan

Gomp: XD Maybe if people are nice Han-chan will write more!

* * *

Author's Notes:

Super long chapter! Whoa, you made it out alive!

Holy uber crap! This chapter was the hardest chapter for me to write! Why, you may ask? Well, I had total freakin writers block throughout the whole thing! Ahh! Talk about horrible! But, I am really excited about the next chapter. Hopefully it will be a lot easier for me to write. >3 it's going to be a fun chapter.

I must thank my beta reader, Han-chan, for her wonderful work and of course for her great omake, I got a nice hoot from it. And I must thank my critic, Egypt, for all her honesty. Both Egypt and Han-chan inspired me to rewrite most of this chapter. You all should thank those two dearly, lol, you were not plagued by the horridness of this chapters originality.

The music scene with Klose is dedicated to my own music history. I originally went to college with the ambitions of becoming a music teacher (which has changed to being an applied developmental anthropologist). I have played the violin for 10 years while I have played the sax for 4. So, yay to music!

And for a final note: All the older chapters will slowly, but surely be re-edited! So, if you were in dread when you first read some of my horrible English skills, please do not be in woe! They will be fixed up nice and pretty so new readers will not be totally frightened away!

* * *

Questions you might have…

1. Ed, why is he not fighting back with Roy? It's out of character for Ed not to.

Egypt actually pointed this out to me. There are quit a few reasons for this. First, poor Ed is injured and sedated; I doubt he had much in him to really start bickering with his superior. Second, Ed is older and more mature, sure he still loves to argue, but he does respect Roy's anger. Edward asked for Roy to be pissed off this time, he knew he deserved it. And for my final reason, Edward knew Roy was way beyond pissed. He even said it was better just to shut up when Roy was in that type of mood. So was Ed out of character? Possibly. But hell, times change and so do people.

2. Roy and Ed, are they going to become gay?

I have said this many times, this fic is totally based off facts I saw in the series and I see in the manga. **No**, Edward and Roy will not be gay. In my opinion, Roy and Ed near the end of the series developed a very respectful relationship between one another. In the fic, Roy cares deeply for Edward's safety and Edward is just starting to get the gist of this. Edward does like Roy, but in terms of friendship. So yay to friendship!

3. The scene dealing with Enzo's room.

I'm sure this could have become confusing for some people. Let me try and help your throbbing head. Ok, there was a spot on the wall with no blood on it. The officer was trying to say that blood would have been squirted there, but someone was standing in the spot and the blood splattered on them instead. Now, when the chimera bit into Enzo's neck, its lower jaw sunk to the left side of his neck while its upper jaw sunk into the right. If you think how a mammals head is shaped, the chimera would have to twist its body slightly to get that type of grip on the neck. When the chimera twisted, it twisted to the left, causing a strong pull towards the left to take place. The pressure from the pull caused the blood from the jugular vein on the right side of his neck (you have a jugular vein on either side of your neck, they are pretty big veins ..) to squirt blood to the far right wall, and that's where the 2nd occupant was standing. I am really sorry if this confuses some people, if you feel the need to email me I'll be more than happy to try and explain this as best as possible.

4. What did Ed tell Klose O.o?

Ed mainly told Klose about what happened to him and Al. Why he was missing his limbs and why Al was a suit of armor, you know, that type of stuff. Ed is holding high hopes for a good friendship between him and Klose, he wants to be open with her and he does feel he can trust her.

5. Ok, why are like people getting so worked up about war?

You must realize that Amestris is in no position to be in war. The Amestris people are not ignorant, they realize this. They are also unhappy with the Parliament, they are not happy by the way the Parliament runs things. People are just getting ticked off with everything that's going on in their country. That is why Mrs. Rugie pushed our poor Winry (I should have had Winry punch her pack XD). Especially with the Rizenpool people who were already attacked, people are just scared that things are going to go wrong. We will talk about this later.

* * *

**MarshmellowDragon-** Yea, I'm sure Winry would just love to get her hands on an ambulance. I have always loved Winry's obsession with mechanics, when I was a kid I use to be really into that type of stuff myself. It's so fun to play with >3. I am all for knocking Ed out, you know… we could like tie him down. He would be unable to move…. Then spray silly string all over him. Heck yea, that's what I'm talking about! Well, I hope things went well with your dorm check in. Thanks for the review! 

**SupremeHyren-** XDXDXDXD That gave me shits and giggles when I read your post. Clue, one of my fav games of all time! XD… maybe it was the devilish Colonel Mustard. Bwahahaha! Thanks for the awesome review!

**Geraniums-** Yay, I love my readers XD! Well, I am sure I can safely say Roy was pissed, but naa; he didn't kill Ed. Almost, but no cigar. Thanks for the great review!

**Maria-** I haven't been on msn lately, I'm sorry! I have tried to catch you a few times but you weren't on any time I tried! Ed's been injured but he will not die! Wahoo! The next chapter I think your going to really enjoy, maybe I can torture you with that one too >3. And you better write a fic sometime, I'm already dieing to read it. Well, hopefully I can catch you online sometime soon. Till then, thanks for your review!

**Kwala-** Awe, thank you for the happy belated birthday. I am not 19 years old; I'm getting way too old. I figure since people are willing to take time to review I should be respectful and respond to their posts. It's the only way I can show my appreciation. Roy will allow Ed to finish his investigation, he knows better than to ignore Ed when Ed feels he is onto something. And yes, Ed is extremely hard headed! But, he is a guy, sometimes men are very hard headed creatures (just playin!... or am I?).Thank you for the wonderful compliments on the story, I really enjoy reading your reviews! And thank you again for another review!

**Katratzi-** Thanks! Yea, Roy was very mad at Ed. Poor Eddy, he almost got Roy to strangle him. I hope you were pretty satisfied with the results of this chapter, but I am hoping next chapter people will find more exciting. Thanks for the review as usual!

**Humor Queen Merc-** Wow… seriously; what you said was very touching. You follow my fic religiously? That's absolutely positively flattering! Thank you for the compliments on my writing style. I did have inspiration for my writing styleby the Anita Blake series and a Gundam Wing Fanfic that I had loved long ago; both were written in first-point-of-view and were just fantastic. I have always wanted to be able to write like that and for this fic I decided just to go for it. I have ended up just enjoying the ability to be part of Edwards mind, I suggest to anyone that is nervous on doing first-point-of-view to just try it, it is very fun. I have not forgotten Riza. There is actually a conversation I have been waiting to write that deals with Roy talking about his family with Ed. I almost wrote it a few chapters back, but decided to hold off and wait a little longer. Also, I have been considering doing a Roy point-of-view for one chapter. It will be Roy looking back and contemplating all the events that had previously happened in the story, but this is still just a consideration and it wont happen till later (If I do decided to do it, there will be much Roy and Riza talk in it >3). Roy does worry about his family a lot, but Roy is really trying to be a professional and is trying to avoid mixing his personal life with his job. This will all be talked about later! I myself am also a big Roy and Riza fan. So yay for Royai! Thanks for the totally awesome review!

**MusicalRileyChan-** This chapter took me a long time to update, I am so sorry! Don't kick me .. Think of how innocent I am! But really, I am so happy you like the fic. I do apologize for the lateness of this chapter, but this is one of the longest chapters I have ever written. I hoped you enjoyed it! Thank you for the review!

**AlereVenus-** There is a reason to that trip wire! We will discover this reason later, heh heh. Yea, your right, chimera seem to be like glued to Ed. But, the 5th Lab was totally Ed's fault, he should have known better! If I was Ed I would have been screaming and wailing because I was in the dark. I am not good with freaky sounds if I can not see the source they are coming from. Well, even if people think Ed has gone crazy from the chimera at least we, as readers, all know he's not totally wacko! Thanks for the review!

**Kuro Roze-** I see that devilish smile of yours! Thanks for the review!


	16. Iron Gate

So, I traded Edward a bowl of ramen for the rights of FMA. After that we got in a minor argument, he slapped me and called me a pervert, then stole the rights back and walked away. Believe my story? Well, if you don't then…go poo on yourself.

**Warning:** There are a few sections which you might find a little boring (sorry, I couldn't think of a way to spice them up), but all the information given in them does serve a purpose, so don't dose! And besides, I didn't say all of the sections are boring ;). Also, there might be some minor sexual-like interactions up ahead.

* * *

Held

By Gomp

"Al!"

My eyes shot open, without thinking I threw myself into a sitting position causing a startled cry to tear its way from my throat, shit. I grabbed onto my injured shoulder while my face scrunched up, the pain was consuming my whole left side. Oh, God, it hurt so much.

I took deep breaths, trying to sooth the throbbing that echoed throughout me. I needed more pain killers, damn it. Ok, what I really needed was to think more before I did something stupid like that, I was still injured.

My mind suddenly went to a screeching halt when my dream resurfaced. It was a nightmare of Al dieing and I was able to do nothing to save him.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I hated nightmares; they were too common for me.

The pain subsided after awhile. Once I felt confident enough, I threw my legs over the side of the bed, pasty skin meeting the cold air of the room. I wrinkled my nose as I got a nice whiff of myself, whoa, I was one stinky boy! I was in desperate need of a bath or shower.

I was careful as I stood, forcing my legs to cooperate with me. My left leg still hurt like hell, I suppose after all the walking I had done the prior day it hadn't allowed my leg to begin to heal. Oh man did it hurt! What a nice way to start my morning.

I stumbled around my room, still not fully awake. I felt dead tired because I had spent long hours on the phone the night before. After talking to Winry and Al, I had finally called Izumi to inform her of our situation. She seemed more than happy to house them; she also had much to say about my interactions with the 5th Laboratory. I must say, I was now in grave fear of my next visit with Izumi. She had threatened to do many mean and painful things to me.

I finally reached my bathroom door; I carelessly flung it open and squinted when I flicked the light switch on. Argh, I truly did hate mornings.

I peered into the bathroom mirror, trying to get a good look at myself. My bandages had a slight brown tinge to them, silently telling me that I badly needed to change them. I began to slowly unwrap the bandages that surrounded my chest and midriff, my skin tingled with the ability to breathe again. Once all the bandages around my stomach had fallen to the floor, I turned so I could get a good look at my back.

…damn.

My back was a mass of many different shades of black and blue, and some of the bruises had even turned a hideous yellow. Five long cuts stretched their way along my backside, none very deep, but they weren't very appealing to look at either. I groaned in wonderment of if they would scar, hopefully not, I had enough scars already.

I turned back around and yanked at the bandages around my shoulder, the bandages unraveled easily. A wave of nausea hit me when I saw the stitched up wounds. There were so many stitches… they must have used many needles, eww, bahh, ahh, gross!

I shook my head to help chase away my needle-phobia.

My shoulder was not a pretty sight, to say the least; the three claw marks rounded the shoulder and ran down the left side of my chest. Looking at the lacerations now, it seemed like the cuts were a lot more serious than I had first estimated, which was ironic, usually it was the other way around. I knew for a fact the three claw marks were going to scar, I was not happy with the idea, but there was nothing I could do about it.

A knock at my front door took my attention from me gawking at my shoulder, I groaned in annoyance as I grabbed a towel to throw over my injured shoulder, might as well save them from the gruesome sight. I limped my way out of the bathroom and through my dorm room. Whoever was there to visit me knocked again.

"I'm coming."

I turned the handle of my door, opened it up, and peered out to see who was interrupting me that morning.

"Why does it take you forever to answer your door?"

I gave Klose a playful smirk. "Well, maybe if you didn't always knock so damn early it wouldn't take me so long."

Klose and I both chuckled at my poor attempt at humor. Once we were settled, Klose looked at me more seriously. "General Mustang ordered me to give this to you; everyone in his unit is to receive one." It was then that I noticed Klose had a handful of cards; she picked the card that was on the top of the pile and handed it to me, but during the process, another one of the cards fell to the ground.

I bent down and picked up the stray card. I went to hand the card back to Klose, but the name printed in big bold letters grabbed my attention.

"Armstrong?" The reason I questioned the name was because Armstrong, as far as I knew, wasn't part of Roy's unit, I thought he was in a unit being dispatched to Ishbal.

Klose grabbed the card out of my hand, returning it to the pile. "Major Armstrong was transferred over to Roy's unit the other day." Well, that answered that.

I thought about what she said for a moment, surprised that no one had told me. Honestly, I thought Armstrong staying in Central was a rather good thing. I knew most the veterans of the Ishbal War seemed very sensitive to the idea of killing, especially Armstrong himself. It was probably best to keep him away from the war.

I finally looked at my own card which was still in my hands and turned it over. I had to squint and beg my eyes to focus for me so I could read the tiny print. I mumbled "What is this?" under my breath.

Klose heard my question and answered. "Its orders for tomorrow's assembly."

"Orders?" I finally finished reading the card; this had to be a joke.

Klose nodded. "Yes, orders."

* * *

"So, you really plan to put me on security?" I sat in the chair beside Roy's desk; I looked at him almost disbelievingly. 

"Yes, is there a problem?" Roy worked on papers, not even bothering to look at me.

I sighed as I leaned back in the chair, my eyes tiredly looking around his room. "I could think a million things wrong with it. For one, have you forgotten I'm injured?"

Roy smirked as he lazily doodled his name on a paper, his other hand fiddling with his eye patch. "Being injured has never really impaired you before. Besides, I figured being on security would be best, you won't have to move around as much like the patrol officers will. All you will need to do is stand there and look pretty." Look pretty, right.

"And what if something happens?"

Roy shrugged and finally looked at me. "Hopefully, nothing will happen. Almost my whole unit is security, I am sure if there is any problems all you have to do is ask one of them for help. Edward, if you do not follow my orders then it's very possible you will be taken out of my unit and sent to Ishbal. You are lucky to be in Central, but if you're disobedient, I am sure the Parliament will have no problem sending you away and replacing you." His attention went back to his work.

I knew I couldn't really complain about having to do the assignment, practically the whole military faculty was either gone or leaving. Roy was right; I just had to be grateful I wasn't going to Ishbal with them. But still, me, security? If someone was to try and beat me up the best I could do was whack them with my auto-mail arm. I didn't find that as a very dignified way with dealing with things.

The room fell silent, Roy busy at work. I knew I didn't have much time with him; there was a meeting he had to attend soon. So, trying to savor the few more minutes I had with him, I got straight to the point of my visit. "I'm going to speak with Lieutenant Soto's parents today."

Roy's writing halted, he eyed me. "What do you plan to achieve by it?"

"Well, I want to get some history on him. I want to at least have a faint idea of when Lieutenant Soto was turned into a chimera."

Roy placed down his pen, folding his hands in front of him. "Edward, I thought we already discussed this, it's most likely during that year of absence."

I shook my head. "We're not positive of that. Come on Roy, it's not going to hurt any if I speak with them."

Roy sighed. "Edward, it might not hurt you, but it most likely will hurt them. Their son is dead without a suspect to bring to justice, they are still grieving over their losses. But, I must admit, I am a little curious myself. I will permit you to interview them, please, just remember your manners and be respectful."

My manners? I always was well behaved, what was he talking about? Ok, so sometimes, well, maybe half the time I could be slightly disrespectful, or maybe very disres- oh forget it!

"Will do."

Roy glanced at the clock that hung on the wall. "Edward, I apologize, but I must ask you to leave now. I have to be on my way, I'll be sure Mrs. Kurtis prepares a cab for you."

I nodded my understanding as we both stood. I followed Roy out, limping behind him. He stopped at Klose's desk and placed in a few requests, then made his leave. I myself headed towards the door, but was stopped by Klose's questioning voice.

"Edward, are you going somewhere? General Mustang told me to call a cab for you."

I looked back at Klose, a sheepish expression on my face. "I just got some minor things I have to take care of, you know, the boring work type of stuff."

Klose smiled at me. "Well, the only reason I asked is because I need the papers you signed for Lieutenant Gorman."

The specific papers Klose was talking about were all the way back in my dorm. Ah, I was too lazy to limp my way back there! "Do you need them right now?"

Klose went in thought for a moment; she then opened up her planner, skimming through things she had written down. "I don't need them this instant, but is there anyway you could drop them off later today? I just have to take the papers to the service desk by early tomorrow morning. Wait, I have an idea. How about you drop the papers off around 7 at my dorm, we then can just go to the café together and get some dinner."

"Sure, I don't see a problem with that."

* * *

I handed the cab driver some money. "Just remember to be back in about an hour." 

The greasy well aged man gave me a big smile, many of his front teeth missing. "Sure thing."

I opened the cab door and stepped out into the drizzling world beyond. It was high in humidity so the rain fell lightly, it caused my hair to frizz and curl in odd angles, and for my bangs to firmly paste themselves to my forehead. I smoothed out the hair on top of my head before I closed the door.

I turned to look at the suburban home; the house was white, colorful flowers decorating the front, a classic white picket fence surrounding it. It was rather hard to imagine Enzo once being part of that type of atmosphere, the house so pristine and normal. Then again, if you looked at my old house, it would be hard to imagine that I once had a normal life too.

My feet followed the stone trail that lead to the front door, now and then I would step into a puddle of water which caused a splash sound. When I finally made it to the front door, I stopped for a moment to collect my thoughts. I wasn't really nervous about meeting his parents, but I was rather unsure of my motives. Was it really right to pry into this family's private life? I mean, maybe Roy was right, maybe that year of absence was the answer to all my questions.

But fact was, I was still unsure and I needed straight answers.

"Damn it Edward, just get this over with."

My white gloved hand rose to knock on the door, but it stopped when the door slowly creaked open to reveal a middle aged man.

His voice was deep, it felt slightly hollow. "Can I help you?"

I took a step back from shock; I wasn't expecting to see what I saw. The man was obviously Enzo's father, they looked almost exactly alike. The only thing that seemed different was the peppered hair and the man's ears were much bigger than his sons had been. He looked at me with uncertainty.

"Sir?"

"I-I-I'm sorry, hi." Go me, what a great first impression! Not. "My name is Edward Elric and I have come to speak with you and your wife concerning your s-"

"Are you from the military?"

He sure knew how to get straight to the point. I straightened my stature and looked at the man evenly. "Yes sir, I am."

The door opened the rest of the way; the man crossed his arms and moved to the side of the door. "You may come in; you can take a seat in the living room. I'll fetch my wife." I wasn't sure if the man was happy by my visit or not, I suppose I was about to find out. I nodded my gratitude towards him and limped my way towards the living room area.

The living room was rather simple, but it held some minor elegancy to it, if that made any sense. The room was painted light green, pots and flowers were placed in corners and on shelves. There was a flower printed couch that leaned against the wall; a fluffed cushioned chair was placed across from it. I went to sit in the chair, but something stopped me.

On the right wall there was a fire place, above the fire place was a mantel, and on the mantel sat various framed pictures, but I wasn't close enough to make out any of the photo's. I carefully limped over to the mantel, biting back a cry from the ache that ate at my leg. When I got to the mantel my eyes swept past all the photo's, taking in all their scenes. Almost every picture was a captured moment from Enzo's life; all of them together seemed to create his life's story. There were just so many, I could only stare at the pictures, memorized.

Father son, mother son, fishing, swimming, playing, laughing, frowning, jumping, smiling…just so many.

I knew somewhere at Granny's house she had a few photo albums of us kids. There weren't many of me and Al considering we left Rizenpool at a young age, but there were probably enough to remind us a bit of our childhood. I personally have never had enough guts to look at the photos; I didn't want to remember the life I once had. The life I screwed up for both Al and I.

A cough behind me grabbed my attention; it caused me to turn around.

"What business brings you here?"

The man who spoke was the same person who had greeted me, but this time his wife stood next to him. She was small in stature and slightly corpulent, she also seemed of Latino ethnicity, her graying hair hanging long. Her resemblance to Enzo was nothing compared to the father, but you could still see some similar characteristics.

I looked at the two before me; these two people were once Enzo's parents…

"I have some questions I need to ask, I am sorry for taking up your time."

Enzo's father seemed ready to say something, but his wife placed a hand on her husband's shoulder, giving him a small smile. She then looked at me while gesturing to the chair in front of the couch. "Please, take a seat."

The woman's voice seemed warm, very welcoming. I still wasn't too sure of what her husband thought of me; he greeted me, he seemed to accept my presences, but I wasn't sure if he was happy about all of it. Could I blame him? I was part of the military; considering he had recently lost his son, the son _I _was in charge of, I would hate the military too.

I limped my way across the room, plopping down on the cushioned chair.

Both the husband and wife moved together, sat together, held their hands together. I could see a sort of distant sadness in both their eyes. I was intrigued by how the married couple acted. I didn't remember much about my father and mother being together, I was still rather young when my father left. The loathing of their son obviously was a shared burden; this was a whole family, what families were supposed to be all about. Well, that is, if you ignored the fact that Enzo had been a chimera.

I cleared my throat and straightened my posture, a poor attempt to look more professional. "I…uhh." Yup, I was very professional indeed. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to get my head on straight. "I apologize for my unannounced arrival, but hopefully this will only take a moment of your time."

The couple shifted slightly on the couch, waiting patiently for me to ask them my questions. I suppose getting straight to the point was going to be the most efficient and effective way of doing everything.

"Well, my name is Edward Elric, I am here to-"

"You're the Fullmetal Alchemist, aren't you?"

I looked at the woman a little surprised, she had interrupted my beginning statement, but, her interruption seemed to had lifted some of the pressure from the room. Hey, if it was going to help the situation I figured might as well just go along with it. Being recognized constantly I suppose was just a draw back to having a famous face, I flashed the lady one of my egotistical smiles. "Yes ma'm', I am the Fullmetal Alchemist."

The husband looked at his wife curiously. "Honey, what are you two talking about?"

"I've told you about him, he seems to be very famous around these parts and in the east. I showed you that article clipping, remember?"

Wait a minute…

I looked between the two. "You have never heard of me before?"

"What do you mean? Oh wait, I apologize. See, you must understand, my husband and I have only lived in Central for the past two years. We moved from the north so we could be closer to our…son… While in the north we never received much news from these parts, so we were not previously aware of your existence." Shit, that was right; I forgot that Enzo was originally from the north. But still, something was deeply bothering me.

Enzo had insisted that he had been a great fan of mine during his teen years. Did that mean…?

Did that mean Enzo had been sucking up to me! Oh man, what a two faced assho-

"Mr. Elric, I truly don't believe you came here to simply discuss your own personal fame. What do you need to ask us?" The man's words held a harsh tone to them, warning me to keep focus on the discussion at hand. I felt slightly embarrassed as I nervously fiddled with the cloth of my gloves; the topic of discussion had become inappropriate for the situation.

"6 years ago, specifically from the winter of 1912 to the fall of 1913, our military records hold no information on any of your son's activities for that time. I know it has been a long time since then, but is there any way either of you could recall the events of that year?"

The sudden silence of the room was not what disturbed me, what disturbed was the fact that both parents paled and their eyes turned away from me. Well, I defiantly had caught onto something. Maybe Roy was really right all along; maybe Enzo had changed during that year.

The silence of the room stretched, it seemed both people were lost in their own thoughts. I began to fidget, not sure what the hell to do. I couldn't really force them to speak, but damn it, one of them needed to spill!

"Sir? Ma'm?'

"Our son didn't mean to cause any problems! Why are you here?" The man's words held so much pain and agony; it struck me to the core.

"Sir, I'm sorry."

"He had to do it; it was the only way the military would allow him in!"

The only way the military would allow him in?

His wife's arms suddenly encircled her husband's shoulders; she began to whisper soothing words to him, trying to calm him done. I sat simply dumbfounded, not really sure what the hell the man had been talking about.

"Mr. Elric, can you please excuse us for a moment?"

I looked at Enzo's mother, I nodded for my reply. She led her husband out of the room, I wasn't exactly sure where they had gone, I was still too caught up by what the husband had said. Surely he didn't mean that Enzo had been turned into a chimera so the military would allow him in…

This time, only Enzo's mother returned. She sat back down on the couch, giving me a gentle smile. "I am sorry about my husband; our son's death has been rather hard for him."

She seemed well composed, but I could still see much pain and suffering in her eyes, it was obvious Enzo's death had been hard on her too.

"I am truly sorry for intruding on your personal lives, but I just need to now Enzo's whereabouts for that year. Ma'm, can you please tell me the truth?"

Enzo's mother looked down at the ground, keeping her eyes away from my face. "Mr. Elric, years ago our son had a very good friend pass away. Our son… he did not take the death well. My husband and I had become very worried about his actions, you must understand, he began to show very abnormal behavior. We did what we thought was best for him, we sent him to a mental health clinic-"

Damn it, I knew exactly where things were going. Having minor details erased, especially concerning health problems, was not uncommon in the military records. It was totally illegal, but many people did it so they could join the military. If Enzo's records would have showed that he was in a mental hospital, there would have been almost no way he could had been accepted as an officer. But, if that was the case, then when the hell did Enzo become a chimera?

"-he thought it was the only way. Please, we don't want any problems with the military."

"It's alright ma'm, I promise everything is fine. The military will not bother you or your husband for this, but, I do have one final question for you."

The woman nodded, her fingers playing with the fabric of her long skirt.

"Had your son showed any strange behavior in the last few years? This does not include his actions which reflected from his friend's death."

A painful sigh fell from her lips, but she stayed strong, keeping her emotions in tact. "This past year there was a falling out between Enzo, my husband, and I. My husband and I figured Enzo was just going through a stage, but we once attempted to visit Enzo a few months back and…" She took a shuddering deep breath to try and help sooth her sudden flaring emotions. "…he acted like he didn't even know us. I just…we didn't understand."

Bingo, most likely Enzo had been too upset by his transformation that he couldn't even face his parents.

"Do you know exactly when this past year he started to act that way?"

"Well, it was about late summer, beginning of fall. So I suppose maybe 9 months ago."

Heh, hah...weird…

That was around the time I had returned from the other world.

What a nice coincidence.

Well, doesn't the world just like to go to shit?

* * *

I had desperately tried to do some paperwork which had so kindly been given to me, but I couldn't concentrate. I then tried to figure out the whole Enzo mess, but it just hurt my brain. I figured I would wait till later on that one, until after I talked to Roy. I was going to need two brains on that specific topic. 

So, avoiding all work which desperately needed done, I decided to analyze my auto-mail leg. The leg was bothering the hell out of me; the pain I felt seemed a little bit beyond minor irritation like the doctor had said.

I wasn't very comfortable about toying with my auto-mail; Winry was the auto-mail mechanic, not me. But hey, at that moment I needed something to do.

I removed the top plate that covered the wiring over my knee cap, heh, well isn't that just cute? What I saw made my tummy turn, I had a feeling Winry was going to seriously kill me.

Like I said, I was no auto-mail mechanic, but I wasn't totally stupid either. It seemed when the chimera had jerked my leg, he had damaged the joint fixture. It explained why no matter how hard I tried my walking still carried a limp and the leg felt so stiff.

It was almost as if I messing with my auto-mail had messaged Winry in some telepathic freaky way. Because sure enough, after I replaced the plate over my knee, a knock was at my door. It was an officer telling me I had a phone call. Ha, ha, what bloody luck.

I now stood in the phone booth, nervously twirling my braid. Winry's voice almost sang to me, her voicing practically radiating with life. Anytime she would speak to me like that, I always knew there was something up her mischievous sleeve.

"I'm busy, what do you want?" If I told her about my auto-mail, she was going to kill me!

"Ed, is that how you greet everyone?"

"What if I said yes?"

"Then I wouldn't believe you."

I slouched against the wall, how was I going to break it to Winry? Her auto-mail was her baby, and I did enjoy my life somewhat…

"Winry, why did you call me?"

"Do I always need a reason? What if I just called to talk?"

I groaned. For how happy Winry sounded it seemed like she was hiding something.

Wait…

…hiding something…could it be?

"Winry, did you get Granny to finally agree to go?

"I thought you were busy Edward, I thought you didn't have time to talk."

Ahhh! "Ok look, I'm sorry, I'm never too busy to talk to you. Now answer me, are you guys going?"

"After Granny and I did much talking, we have come to a decision." A moment of dramatic pause was provided by the Queen of Auto-mail. "Granny spoke to Nelly's parents, she's entrusting them with the keys. They also agreed to take care of Den while we're gone; Al refuses to leave the cat so I think we have to take her with us. We will be heading to Dublis with in the next two days."

I wanted to jump for joy! Minus the fact that it made me more comfortable with them in Dublis, they were also now going to be only about an hour train ride away. Visits were going to be much easier.

Heh, I didn't need to tell Winry about my leg, the happy news was too nice to ruin. I would save it for later.

* * *

I held the papers that I needed to provide Klose with firmly in my hand as I limped my way down the hall. My stomach was singing to me a very ugly tune, telling me to get to dinner and stuff it silly. I was in a very good mood now; just knowing Al, Winry, and Granny were going to Dublis was making my world so much better. 

My limping halted the moment I came upon Klose's door: Give her papers, drag her as quickly as possible to any source of food; that was the plan. My stomach grumbled just to show its enthusiastic agreement.

I knocked on Klose's door, hoping she would answer it quickly. Instead, I received a 'Come in'.

Under my breath I muttered "She better be ready or I'm going to kick her ass.", cause damn it, I was starving!

I grabbed the knob and twisted it open, preparing myself to whine and complain for Klose to hurry up.

Instead, I was greeted by an empty room. Well, an empty room filled with lit candles and the quiet backbeat of some slow tempo music playing on the radio. Well, that was rather odd, very odd indeed, where was Klose?

"Klose?"

I then heard the clatter of something in the bathroom and some curse words being said under her breath.

"Edward, just give me a moment!"

I rolled my eyes as I shut the dorm door, I had lived with Winry long enough to know what a 'moment' meant in girl terms.

I glanced around the room, the candles leaving a ghastly glow to it. I had been in Klose's room maybe only once or twice before, either to drop stuff off or wait for her to go eat. Her room was more cluttered than my own; there were some pictures of her and her father on the walls. On her desk sat a picture of a person I presumed was her sister, the one who had died long ago by the corruption of Majihal. Oddly enough I did not see any pictures of her mother, but I suppose that was probably some personal thing.

I scanned the room a few times and stopped when I saw something silver glittering; the flicker of the candles kept causing the silver piece to gleam. It was a necklace dangling from the post of her bed.

I limped my way to the bedpost, looking at the jewelry. The chain was long and on it hung a round silver charm; the silver charm reminded me of a small egg. To be honest, the thing looked ugly as hell, but I suppose it wasn't my place to judge jewelry. I placed the papers I had for Klose on the bed and I picked up the chain, the round egg shaped thing twirled in the air. It seemed there were various engraving on the charm, a round pattern that encircled the whole egg. The egg charm reminded me of the same charm Scar once had that carried a piece of Lusts hair, the only difference was Klose's charm was bigger and slightly different in design.

Hmm… I wondered if Klose's charm opened too. That thought defiantly perked my curiosity.

I was about to grab the egg piece and try to twist open the top when suddenly an arm encircled my waste and a hand pulled the chain out of my fingers.

My voice came out in a surprised squeak. "Klose?"

Her words were whispered in my ear, her warm breath teasing me. "Don't you know it's not polite to go through other's personal belongings?"

"I'm sorry; I just saw it and wanted to look at it."

She gave an 'hmm' for a response.

I was suddenly well aware of Klose's arm around my waste; I couldn't see her since she had grabbed me from behind. Her actions were very un-Klose-like, it sent my nerves on edge.

"So uhh, are you ready to go eat?" Yup, me Mr. Slick.

Her laugh was light, very feminine as she leaned over and placed the necklace back on the bedpost. Why was she laughing? I wasn't sure what was so funny, but I knew I was growing uncomfortable by how close Klose was.

My motions were slow and gentle so I wouldn't offend her, I grabbed the arm that encircled me and began to pull it away, I was never one too comfortable with touch. But the moment Klose realized what I was doing her hold grew tighter around me. Her other arm now wrapped around my mid-drift.

"Klose?"

"Edward, do we need to leave? Can't we just stay here?"

My mind went to a sudden halt at the implication Klose was giving me. Was she freaking serious? All I could think of was Klose wanted _me _to _stay _with _her _in her _room _with _us _beingall _alone_. Man, she couldn't be hinting at what I thought she was. There was no way, Klose and I were just friends, nothing more.

I tried to put humor in my tone. "And do what?" I had to know what Klose was aiming at, sure I might have been the biggest virgin in the world, but I wasn't a total dope. I was a man and a scientist; I knew lots about sexuality and the whole spiel on chemical balances in the hormonal system. Hell, I lived on a military base for a good deal of my life, I constantly heard the hushed whispers on intercourse. So, how could I not know a sexual implication when I heard one? But then again, maybe I was just over reacting, yea, maybe she just wanted to play a nice game of checkers or something, friends did that stuff, right?

Her laugh was laced with humor; her hand left my mid-drift and traveled up my chest, teasing me. That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. Klose and I were just friends, why Klose was suddenly acting the way she was, was simply beyond me. I grabbed Klose's hands and pulled them away from me; I took a step back and turned around to face her.

My eyes almost popped out of my head. What was she wearing!

"Klose, what do you think your doing?"

The candles, the music, the bed which was so conveniently next to us and Klose in nothing more than a thin slip which barely hid the goods. What the hell was going on!

This was not Klose, no, not the innocent sweet girl I knew so well. This was some imposter…a very erotic imposter.

All I had wanted was my dinner!

Klose took a step toward me, her form didn't touch mine, but it came awfully close. A sultry smile danced over her lips. I loudly gulped.

"Edward." Her voice carried a tone of lustful interest, an interest which shouldn't have been there. I took a step away from her but automatically backed into the wall. Shit, I was trapped.

Klose took another step forward, both her hands placed themselves on the wall either side of me. Klose and I were about the same height, she was maybe an inch shorter, but it allowed her to look at me directly in the eye, her face only a few inches away from mine.

What she did next shocked me to the core, for some reason I hadn't expected her to do it, it simply took my breath away.

It was my first kiss. And no, mommy kisses don't count as firsts. This was a genuine, desirable, hormonal, make-out worthy kiss.

Oh shit, I was just kissed.

The kiss was simple, awfully quick, only a peck really. But still, my breathing quickened, the room suddenly felt hot- almost suffocating. Even after she pulled away the warmness and taste of her lips lingered on my own.

Klose had kissed me!

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

"Edward, you're blushing."

"You just kissed me."

"You act like you have never been kissed before."

I was so tempted to tell her 'well duh', but I had a feeling that wouldn't go over well.

…I had been kissed. The foreign intimacy was much different then anything I had ever felt before. The sensations I was feeling in my body were so new, so vibrant. I was a man who had done many things, but this was beyond anything I had ever experienced before. A simple kiss almost brought me to my knees.

The only flaw in the whole ordeal was the person I had done it with. Weren't you supposed to kiss people you had romantic feelings for?

"Klose, why are you doing this?"

"Edward, I'm trying to tell you I like you."

Well, at least she liked me. But what about myself? I mean, did I really actually like her anymore than a friend. The thought had never crossed my mind, and I mean…

I had a strong feeling that Klose wanted to have sex. Kissing I could handle, her telling me she liked me was very flattering, sex… oh man, she was moving too fast. At least that was what I thought…

"Klose I th-"

I never got to finish my statement. Klose suddenly leaned forward again and grabbed my lips into a passionate kiss, well at least passionate on her part. Her arms grabbed my body, pulling me close.

Two simple words to describe my thought process: Holy shit.

Did I need to have feelings for her? Was it ok to do stuff with someone you weren't sure you liked? Oh God, it sure as hell felt ok.

I don't know why I did it. It was as if a sexual frustrated monster deep inside me took over. But, for some reason I allowed all commonsense to leave, I allowed myself to be pulled into the imitate action, the lustful foreplay.

I grabbed onto Klose's body, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her as close as possible towards me. She gave a started yelp, but without out another moments thought, she continued to kiss me. My stomach twisted in angles that actually felt good for once, my lower body reacted in a way I had only had happen a few times in my life time. I was so curious; these new feelings were so different and interesting. I was beginning to understand the whole relationship concept.

I had always hated touch, why was I suddenly enjoying it?

I removed the glove that covered my human hand, dropping it to the floor. I ran my bare fingers over Klose's warm skin; it was so soft, so smooth. I wanted to touch her, to discover all the hidden secrets I had never known.

Klose, she smelled like vanilla with a touch of cinnamon. It was a scent I had never smelled before; I decided it was a scent I rather liked.

Our kiss deepened, tongues beginning to play with one another. It felt nice when her tongue massaged my own.

How did I suddenly know what to do? Well ok, why did I feel like I knew what I was doing? I mean, Klose didn't seem to complain.

Klose pulled at my red jacket, begging for it to come off. I didn't hesitate as she gingerly pulled the cloth away from me, she was careful not to jar my injured shoulder. When she fully pulled the jacket off and it fell to the floor, I grabbed Klose by the waist and twisted our bodies around; she was now against the wall as my hands ran down her form. Every curve, every contour… I wanted to feel…to touch.

Her kisses left my mouth, trailing down my face, down my neck. I gasped as Klose touched me just the right way.

Klose grabbed the top button of my black jacket; she began to fiddle with it, trying desperately to open it.

My hands ran down the backside of Klose's body, my hands falling down to the roundness of her behind, I brought her body closer to mine, our waists connecting. A soft moan escaped as my abdominal tightened, telling me that felt really good, demanding me to do it again. Oh yes, I truly wanted to do it again.

My brain was totally fried; sensations, desire, wants, needs… they all consumed me.

I pushed my body against Klose; she gave small wistful sounds from my teasing. She finally got my top button undone; she then began to yank at my black tank top which was tucked into my pants. My fingers danced over the straps of her slip, my mouth grabbing her lips into a luscious kiss. I wanted to taste more of her, to understand more.

My hands traveled over Klose's thin slip, rounding over her chest. I wanted to know what was beyond everything, what Klose could teach me.

I was a man of science, a man of brain, I needed to know all the information my mind could grasp. I could think of this as educational… oh hell, I thought of this as just down right ecstasy.

I pulled from our lip lock to watch as my hands began to pull down the straps of the only cloth covering Klose's body. Her pale skin yearned for my touch, I wanted to see more.

The gleam of my steel hand suddenly caught my attention. My glove had been pushed up somewhat, revealing the metallic fixture. I blinked a few times, in that moment it felt like the world suddenly shifted. I stopped all actions.

My hand, I had forgotten, I-I couldn't feel anything with it, it wasn't real.

Why did that matter all of the sudden? My hand… and my leg… they weren't real.

"Ed?"

I glanced at Klose, but my attention almost immediately returned to my hand.

Oh…shit…

I pulled the straps back over her shoulders, I took a step back. Why did my fake hand all of the sudden matter? Edward, why does it matter…

It just did, it just fucking did.

Shit, I didn't love Klose, I didn't even know if I liked her more than a friend. What the hell was I doing? How could I lose control of myself like that? The last time I didn't think thoroughly through my actions, realizing all the consequences, only thinking of my wants and desires… I ended up with a fake hand.

Sex could never compare to me losing my limbs, but it showed how pathetic of a person I truly was. I wanted sex for only hormonal interest, not actually emotional value. Oh God…

"Klose I-"

"Edward, why did you stop?"

I took another step back. I didn't want this, no; I never wanted anyone to touch me. I didn't deserve touch. If someone was to see my failures, to see my body…

I was tempted to puke.

"I'm sorry."

Klose's eyes were pleading, she wanted me to stay. To spend the night. To do all the naughty dirty things adults did.

Hell, I wasn't even grown up yet!

"Stay with me."

"I-I can't. I'm sorry…"

I didn't want this; instead I wanted to curl in a corner and wallow in my own shame. I picked up my red jacket from the floor, I had to just leave, get the hell out of there. Klose grabbed my auto-mail hand, her fingers wrapping around the fake limb.

"Edward…"

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see her face, I needed to go.

"Edward, look at me."

She was going to try to convince me to stay, I had to leave. I grabbed Klose's hand with my other hand. I finally looked into her eyes, trying to show all the honesty and sincerity I had within me.

"Klose, I have to go. I'm really sorry."

I did the only comforting thing I could think to do; I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. And with that, I walked away. I walked away from the possibilities, a possible one true night of a sedated happiness. I walked away with the little bit of dignity I had left.

The possibility of me actually liking Klose was still there. I mean, who knew what the future held. But for the time being…

The door clicked behind me.

* * *

"Are you fine with this?"

"I told you I was." I watched as Al pulled the sleeping bag tighter around himself. He picked up his book again, continuing with his reading.

"We need to learn everything we can if we want to bring her back."

"Brother, I just want to see her smiling face again." Al turned a page in his alchemy book, his flashlight was held firmly in his other hand.

"But Al… are you sure it's worth it?"

"Ed, I will follow you. I have trust in you, if you think you can do it, I will go along with you."

"Al, we're going to do it. We will bring mom back."

"Edward, you look like you're about to fall asleep."

My eyes popped open as the person spoke to me. Hell, I had thought I was asleep.

"Havoc?"

Havoc was standing right next to me; I hadn't even heard anyone approach.

"Didn't you go to bed last night?" Ha, ha, how could I have slept after the events that had happened that past night?

I was so freaking tempted to be honest and tell Havoc no, but I was on duty and it would look unprofessional. I mean, what was I to say anyways? Was I to tell him that I was given one of the most ultimate invitations that past night, something you only had in wet dreams, and I turned it down for moral sake? Ok, so there was a lot more to it then just morals. But still…

"I'm just day dreaming. What are you doing here?"

Havoc puffed out some smoke before he answered. "Our posts are right next to each other, and also I came to bring you this."

Havoc held out the item he was speaking of, the hand gun shined from the sun light. I looked at the weapon dumbfounded, why was he giving it to me?

"I don't need it."

Havoc smirked as he rolled the butt of his lit cigarette between his lips. "General Mustang's orders, all security personnel are to have one. It's just for safety sake."

Ok, I suppose he won on that one; I could see it for safety reasons.

For a moment I glanced to the side of me, looking at the roaring crowd beyond the iron gate. I didn't have a clue of how many people were actually there, there were just too many to count. The spectators filled almost the whole military square, which was saying a lot. An iron bared gate was the only thing that was to split the Parliament from the crowd. I was on the Parliament side of the fence; my post was right along the gate, forcing me to stare at the crowed, or you could just call them a pack of raging wolves, oh joy.

The sleek gun was placed into my hand, it felt a lot heavier than I had expected. I made sure the safety was on before I placed the gun in my back pocket, not really happy that I was being forced to carry it. "I have a feeling this is going to be a long day."

Havoc gave a choked laugh, pulling out his cigarette from between his lips. "It better not be too long, I still have a butt load of work to do. Oh, did you see that Riza is gracing us with a visit?"

"She is?"

Havoc pointed behind us. I quickly turned towards the Announcement Hall, Riza stood to the side of the building, away from all the commotion. By chance she saw my look; she gave me a friendly smile and a wave. I smiled back and gave a wave myself. I was tempted to run up to her and see how she was doing, but again, I was on duty. Damn duty to hell! Well, there was always time to catch up later.

I turned back to Havoc. "Roy didn't tell me Riza was coming, it's been awhile since I've last seen her. Where's Maes?"

He gave me a helpless shrug. "Most likely with a babysitter. A group of us are talking about going out for lunch later, hopefully we can trick Riza into joining us, are you interested in coming?"

I didn't even need to think about it. "Yea sure."

A booming voice suddenly resounded across the whole square, speaking to everyone through speakers, informing us the Parliament would be appearing soon. Once the announcement ended, Havoc turned around and patted me on the head.

"Well, I suppose I'll catch up to you later." With that he walked to his post…which was only a few meters away from mine.

It was then I realized the line of security personnel that stood along side the gate. I was the butt end on the left, but to the right of me the security (which was almost Roy's entire unit) lined up in a straight line along the front of the gate, each of us only separated by a few meters of distant between the other. From Havoc it went: Fuery, Armstrong, Farman…oh hell, the familiar faces just continued on like that. My eyes swept past all of the familiar officers, then went to an abrupt halt as my eyes landed on a specific officer which I hadn't seen for years. My eyes had stopped at Breda, and holy crap, I barely even recognized him. His old red buzzed hair now had length to it and was dyed black. He had lost a few pounds and he almost looked…pretty, for a man that is.

…why was I becoming mentally disturbed by that?

I shook my head in utter confusion from Breda's transformation, it just seemed too weird.

I turned my attention back to the crowd that was in front of me, beyond the iron bars. There were some reporters in the group of spectators, but mostly the crowd consisted of curious civilians. Directly in front of me stood a little girl and her mother. The little girl seemed no older then 10, her brown braided pig tails dangling down the sides of her face. Her mother noticed me looking at the both of them, offering me a warm smile. She then knelt down and directed her daughters attention towards me by pointing at me, I had a feeling the mother recognized me. The little girl's smile almost consumed her features as she frantically began to wave at me. I gave her a small wave back.

Almost instantly the crowed suddenly began to scream wildly. The sudden noise shocked me; I had not been expecting it. Some of the screams were cheerful while others were just down right negative. Holy snickers were some people's mouths just foul, some needed their mouths washed out with soap.

I turned around, curious to what the commotion was about. It seemed people were reacting to the Chairmen of the Parliament who were beginning to line the stage. I smirked when I saw Roy finally make his appearance; he came out after the Parliament members. He and a few other high ranking officers took seats to the side of the stage that was closest to me. I was tempted to try and grab Roy's attention by shooting him funny faces, but I figured he would kill me by his flame if I did something that daring, oh darn.

The screams, the shouts, the yelling- all noise was suddenly silenced when Chairman Hakuro took a stand on the podium. I was amazed by how quiet the crowd stayed for Hakuro, but then again, everyone seemed to love the man. My opinion of him wasn't good nor bad, I still didn't know enough about him to judge. All I was sure of was the fact that people deeply respected him.

Hakuro straightened his tie and cleared his throat before he spoke. "I would like to thank everyone for coming."

His hands firmly grabbed the sides of the podium. "I am sure you are all curious to why the Parliament has demanded your attention. Well, due to recent events which recently occurred in our country, the Parliament has decided to take critical action into defending the citizens of Amestris." Yup, direct to the point, just the way I liked it.

In a way it was weird, indirectly Hakuro was talking about Rizenpool. I was present for Rizenpool's invasion, but never did I think the invasion would have the type of impact that it was having. Quiet, boring, old, rural Rizenpool was influencing a country on the decision of war, who would have thought?

"Amestris has always been a country of strength, will, and power. We can not allow another country to threaten our peace. That is why Amestris must fight back!"

A rather loud whisper spread throughout the crowd, people making off handed comments. Some of the comments positive, many negative, a few neutral. Hakuro gave the crowd a dramatic look, demanding everyone to continue to listen to him. I stood at my post, rather bored.

"I know war is a scary thought, it has been awhile since our country was last at war. But, my fellow citizens, you must understand, if we do not defend ourselves, our country will be no more! We must be proud, we must deliver, we must…" Hakuro balled up his hand into a fist, and with a quick gesture, he shot it straight out in front of him. "…FIGHT!"

Well, that certainly struck a cord with many people. The crowd suddenly began to speak rather loudly. Some people were yelling and screaming, while others talked amongst themselves. The emotions of the crowd varied, everyone seeming to have their own opinion.

I simply stood at my post, contemplating my lunch.

My leg itched.

"Citizens of Amestris, the Parliament has only one thing to ask you, and that is, are you with us? Will you fight with us? Will you be part of your country, will you help defend us!"

'People here are not happy with the idea of war. Some have even become violent with the thought.'

Without warning, the crowd suddenly began to go crazy, not just emotionally but some even physically.

Well… damn it.

This time they didn't just scream and yell, but they began to push and shove. I looked to my right, seeing Havoc and a few others beginning to yell at people who were in the crowd.

The crowd's activity wasn't good, but it was something that could be controlled. I followed suit of Havoc and the others, taking a few steps closer to the gate. Only a few people were shoving on my side, all I had to do was tell them to calm down, it would be alright.

…it would be alright…

What seemed like an instant the sound of a loud 'Bop' rang out past every ones screams, for a moment the crowed went almost completely silent.

That sound… no, it wasn't the sound of a gun, it wasn't the sound of an explosion. My heart skipped a beat. I simply had no clue what it was and what had created it, but, whatever the sound was, the crowd's attitudes suddenly changed from silent to something else.

The world around me suddenly turned into an overwhelming panic.

As if in one big heave, the iron gate suddenly began to rattle in protest as people were being shoved against the iron bars. This time around the pushing and shoving wasn't innocent, this time it was violent. And this time people didn't do it in protest, this time it was in fear.

Uncontrollable fear.

Screaming, crying, yelling, shouting, pushing, shoving, punching.

All I became aware of was the sudden massive hysteria.

There was an outcry for help.

I blinked a few times as I stared out into the commotion. The quick change in the whole scenario was so spontaneous… for a moment I stood in disbelieving shock. Ok, what just happened?

…what was I supposed to do?

It all seemed like slow motion as I watched the crowd going insane; there was too much movement all at once. It was too loud to hear anything; all I could hear was my own breathing as I stood frozen in my boots.

This could not be happening, what the hell could I do to stop this?

I turned to look behind me, praying Roy would silently tell me something. When my eyes swept across the stage I realized the Parliament members were all gone, most likely they went into hiding.

Well, all of the Parliament members except for one. The only one remaining was the big fat bald guy who had first greeted me when I stood in front of the Parliament for my hearing. He and Roy seemed to be in a heated conversation. The man was screaming at Roy, viciously pointing at the crowd. Roy's face seemed pale, but his mouth remained in a firm line as he listened intently to what the man was saying. The look on Roy's face…something was going on. It seemed like something was wrong.

What was the Chairman saying to him?

A startled cry fell from my lips as a hand suddenly landed on my bad shoulder, the pain that shot through me caused me to stumble forward and I began to fall. The only reason I didn't land flat on my face was because I fell towards the iron gate, my head smashed against the metal bars, I grabbed onto the bars in a desperate attempt to stop all movement. My breathing came out uneven, shock from the pain consuming my whole form. Holy shit, I was seeing stars.

I blinked a few times as someone's scream was ringing into my ears. When my eyes fully focused I realized I was almost face to face with the little girl I had seen earlier. She, herself, was being roughly pushed against the bars, screaming and crying for help, begging for someone to save her. Her mother had her arms wrapped around her child, trying to protect her as best as possible. But, between the shoves, the pushes, and the punches… I wasn't sure how she was going to be able to help her daughter.

I wasn't sure if they were going to make it out alive.

No, no, this was not real, this could not be happening.

"Edward, damn it, Edward!"

Edward... that was me.

Two hands wrapped around my stomach, pulling me away from the bars. The pain shooting from my left shoulder was almost unbearable, but I knew if I gave it a little more time the pain would go away. I looked toward the person who had grabbed me, it was Fuery.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I forgot."

I could only stare at him, not sure what to say. There was too much going on around me; it was hard to register anything at all.

Fuery pulled me into a standing position, quickly straightening my jacket, his words were rushed. "Orders are to keep at your post; General Mustang will be giving us further orders. Don't worry, he will tell us what to do."

Roy, yes Roy… Roy would know what to do.

I nodded at him to tell him I understood. Fuery took my nod as a good enough response, as quickly as he was there, he was gone. He headed down the line of soldiers, repeating the same thing he had said to me.

My world was still in slow motion. I wasn't sure if it was from shock or if the world truly had slowed down.

I turned my gaze toward the crowd once more, the sight… it was almost unbearable. This time when I looked, I actually saw blood. There wasn't enough blood to signify death, but people were bleeding from all the abuse they were receiving. It was only a matter of time before death was going to occur.

What was I to do, could I even do anything?

The girl, the little girl.

Her tiny hands reached through the gate, begging for me to save her. She was only a few steps away from me, I had to do something. I began to reach for her; I wanted to wipe the tears away, to tell her everything was going to be ok. I had to save her, if anyone, it had to be her.

But my feet stopped when a familiar voice called out. The only reason I listened was because it was the one person I could trust, the one man I had my faith in.

Roy… Roy would know what to do.

"Soldiers, prepare your weapons."

Prepare my weapon? I pulled out the hand gun I had received earlier, the gleam of the steel hitting me in the eyes.

I looked behind me, seeing Roy standing in the middle of the stage. There was something about him that seemed different, something that was almost…unfamiliar. It was then I realized Roy's breathing was abnormal. Even though he seemed to be standing perfectly straight, his head held high… there was something about Roy that wasn't right, very out of place.

I wanted Roy to look at me; I wanted him to tell me what was wrong. But all he did was keep his gaze forward, focused on something that was in the distance, something I wasn't even sure was truly there.

His next few words seemed almost forced.

"Upon my orders, shoot."

Shoot? I looked at the gun in my hand… shoot…

My eyes suddenly opened wide with realization. He wanted me to shoot? Roy was ordering us to commit a massacre?

"Roy, what are you doing?"

I looked down at the rest of Roy's unit, all holding their guns out directly in front of them, preparing for Roy's final orders.

No.

I looked back in front of me, the young child still screaming for help, tears streaming down her face. Blood was beginning to drip down on her, but it wasn't her own. Her mother, who stood behind her, was bleeding from a head wound, and it looked serious. The blood was dripping onto her daughter, covering the child in the warm red liquid. Even though the mother was injured, she still tried to protect her child. Her whole body hovered over her daughter, trying to block all the violent blows happening behind them. The mother then looked at me; I could see the pleading in her eyes.

She wanted me to save her daughter, to protect her.

I turned to look at Roy once more, but this time, he was looking back, right at me.

The look he gave made my gut twist; there was something about it that was off. The person who was looking at me wasn't Roy, it was someone else. Someone I didn't know.

The look he gave was one I would never forget; I knew right then that eye would forever haunt me.

"Roy…" My voice was lost due to the loudness of the crowed.

Even though I couldn't hear Roy's words, I could still read his lips. Besides, I didn't even need to know what he was saying; just looking at him told me everything.

"Edward, follow my orders."

"I can't."

"Yes you can, and you will."

The weight of the gun weighed down my auto-mail hand. My fingers grasped tightly around the handle of it.

"No."

"Do it."

"Why are you doing this?"

Roy suddenly closed his good eye tightly, his face scrunched up with what seemed like anger. His grasp around his cane held much tension.

Even though his voice did not reach my ears, his wrath still consumed me.

Oh God Roy… why?

"Do it."

I clicked off the safety of the gun, my hands shook almost violently.

Breathe, just remember to breathe.

I turned from Roy and faced the hell beyond. I closed my eyes, forcing my hands to rise in front of me. I finally looked down the line of the pistol, the salty tears of the child directly in my view.

"Ready."

Had I truly become…

"Aim."

…a dog of the military?

The sound of a gun rang off.

* * *

Will Edward fall in love with Klose? Or might he fall for a radon fan girl, or someone else? What about the shooting… did he actually kill the little girl? How will Ed react towards Mustang for the orders he gave? Will the mystery of Enzo ever be solved? 

Has Ed truly become a dog of the military!

Find out next time on Held!

XD! Sorry, had too...please dont kill me...

* * *

Han-chan Omake time!

Yaoi warning:

Omake 1:

"Roy!"

My eyes shot open, without thinking I threw myself into a sitting position causing a startled cry to tear its way from my throat, shit. I looked beside me, Roy wasn't there, the pain of the separation caused me to tear up. Oh, God, it hurt so much to be without him.

I took deep breaths, trying to sooth the pain of loneness. I needed more anti-depressants, damn it. Ok, what I really needed was to think more before I did something stupid like that again, I was a big ass hole to Roy, and now I am paying.

Omake 2:

Klose smiled at me. "Well, the only reason I asked is because I need the papers you signed for Lieutenant Gorman."

The specific papers Klose was talking about were all the way back in my dorm. Ah, I was too lazy to limp my way back there if Roy couldn't carry me! "Do you need them right now?"

Klose went in thought for a moment; she then opened up her planner, skimming through things she had written down. "I don't need them this instant, but is there anyway you could drop them off later today? I just have to take the papers to the service desk by early tomorrow morning. Wait, I have an idea. How about you drop the papers off around 7 at my dorm, we then can just go to the café together and get some dinner."

"No can do. I have a date with Roy" I smirked as I watched her face turn to rage, then to jealousy, then finally compose in a split second.

"Ok, well then leave them outside your door and I will pick them up in the morning" she said, forcing a smile.

Omake number…2! Written by Gomp/Chan

It was almost as if I messing with my auto-mail had messaged Winry in some telepathic freaky way. Because sure enough, after I replaced the plate over my knee, a knock was at my door. It was an officer telling me I had a phone call. Ha, ha, what bloody luck.

(Over in Rizenpool)

"Granny! I need-" Winry suddenly looked down and had a feeling of horrid de ja vus come over her, somewhere, somehow, there was broken auto-mail!

"Never mind! I will be out for a bit!" Winry looked around and saw no one.

"Pretty Mechanic Make Up!" She instantly turned into a Sailor Scout Auto-mail!

Steel shoes, silver skirt, and the shiny gleam of silver lipstick suddenly took over her form.

"I will solve this case of misfortune auto-mail, even if it kills me!

(corny scene change)

Edward stood in the phone booth, waiting for someone to respond on the other side of the line. He finally hung up the phone and began to fume; he had limped all this way for absolutely nothing! God damn, sometimes the world really pissed him off.

Edward turned to leave, but stopped when he heard the tapping of a steel toed shoe. His eyes widened when he realized who stood before him.

(momentary flashback)

Winry in the blink of the eye was mysteriously transported to the poor soul who had broken their auto-mail. She was prepared to save the day, to save the world from the gloomy possibilities of broken limbs. She looked up, prepared to kindly greet the person who was suffering.

What she saw…

…ha…

Ha, ha.

(back to Edward)

"Winry, I can explai-" His worlds would never be finished.

Winry figured the blood on the floor could easily be mopped up. She picked up her wench which now was drenched in the liquid of Edward's blood.

Sailor Auto-mail has saved the day once more.

Final Omake: Gomp's try.

I pulled from our lip lock to watch as my hands began to pull down the straps of the only cloth covering Klose's body. Her pale skin yearned for my touch, I wanted to see more.

Then my movements suddenly stopped, Oh shit… how could I forget?

I leaned forward, I licked Klose's ear in a devilish foreplay before I spoke. I had to tell her…she had to know.

"Klose…"

Her eyes turned to me; they were glazed over with pure lust. I brushed a strand of hair away from her face before I spoke. "Willy has been wanting to meet you."

She suddenly blinked, as if confused. "Edward, whose Willy?"

I blushed slightly; this was so hard to say.

"Willy… he's my-he's my toe. See, my metal toe. The only true friend I have ever had."

I pulled off my boot and wiggled.

* * *

Authors note:

I apologize for how long this took. Between work and my recent uprising in social activities I have become rather busy. But, because this one is a cliff hanger and I have two days off from work coming up, I plan to get the next chapter out as soon as possible. I again apologize for some of the boringness of this chapter, but in the long run we did learn some new things! And there was some major plot advancement!

I must thank Egypt for her criticism, and majorly thank Han-chan for some good idea's for this chapter, for her omakes, and I think we all must thank her for getting this chapter edited in the same day I sent it to her. She didn't need to do it, but she edited it for me on her day off, it just makes her totally awesome! I send her much love for her dedication to this story!

* * *

Questions you may have…

1. Klose and Ed…kissed…GOMP!

You might be thinking that Ed would never kiss a girl unless he was positive he liked her, he wouldn't just do it because he was aroused and curious. Well, I admit I am not a hopeless romantic, sure those romances do exist (rarely), but I try to look at the reality of life. I know my first kiss and most of my friends first kisses were with someone who they shared a mild attraction with and they were simply more curious then they were in 'love'. Now, I am not saying that there isn't a possibility of Ed later falling for Klose, I wont give any spoilers away, but for Ed's first kiss I found it very possible of him being seduced and just falling into the moment of things. You may disagree, you may even be mildly disgusted with me, but hey…it's not like they had sex XD

Now, I must continue this discussion with the topic of sex. 'Klose is coming on awfully heavy; she seems very bold in her actions' you might be thinking. Well, I care to remind you that she and Edward are heading into adulthood. Causal sex is not uncommon, even for those days. I will admit, I am not a fan of casual sex, heck, not really a fan of sexual interactions period, but it seems like a majority of people do it anyways.

* * *

**MarshmellowDragon-** XD I have three bottles of silly string right here. Lol, I wont tell you if your theory of the evil Nina is true or not, no spoilers! Winry whacking Ed through the phone, I would love to see that XD! Thanks for the awesome review! We will get Ed settled…sooner or later. 

**Katratzi-** Awe, thanks for liking that chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed the Ed and Roy scene; I had a lot of fun writing it. The chimera being able to transform, heh, I wonder if that will be a problem later on… But just remember that human chimera can transform, the only difference is this one is an animal. Thanks for the review! I always enjoy hearing from you.

**Gothic-amnesti-** You play violin! That's awesome! Lol, the violin is one of the many loves I have in my life, I am happy there is a fellow reader who is into music too! Thank's for the compliments on the last chapter. This chapter came out sort of boring in some ways. Hopefully next chapter things will begin to get fun again. Thanks for the review! Keep up with the music!

**Humor Queen Merc**- Your curiosity with Roy's opinion on the war and how it will affect his family will be answered very soon! I am happy you like Ed's point of view, lol, only if you knew how fun he was to write! I am having an absolute blast with him. Well, thank you very much for the compliments and for the review! I hope this chapter wasn't too boring for you >.

**Kwala-** HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you enjoy your 17th year of life, I know I really enjoyed mine. I saw the Star War's movie recently too, I thought the movie was good, but it was very dark (I had already been previously warned). I loved that lizard thing that Obi-Wan-Kenobi rode on, it was just awesome, I want one! I apologizing for the confusion of the blood scene, it was a very hard scene to write, but you did get the point of it, someone was in the way. Ling, well Ling right now is ruling Xing (mentioned in chapter 3). So, he will have his role in the story at some point. I am mixing the anime and the manga together, so really you have no clue who might pop up! But, the anime is defiantly playing a much bigger rule in the fic. I always love hearing from you! Thanks for the review!

**MusicalRileyChan-** I'm sorry! Al is not in this one either. But, I will tell you a secret; Al will be coming back very soon! Soon I will be writing more about him, but for the time being… Well, thanks for the review! Glad you're liking the story, tee heh!

**Velvet mace-** Thank you for the wonderful compliments! I agree, I never like OC characters either, heck, that's part of the reason I killed Enzo off so quickly XD. But, Enzo is a big plot device so I'm glad you're happy he lives on. Sooner or later the explanation of his stares will come out. Thank you so much for reading and thanks for the review!

**Geraniums-** Lol, yup, happy pills. Hey, if you're in pain your painkiller will be your bliss. Lol, did you really tell your dad? Thanks for the compliments on the chapter and thanks for the review!

**Pheonxi Maker-** Awe, your compliment on saying I sound like a pro, that's so kind of you, now only if you knew how many errors my beta reader has to correct for me XD! Thank you so much for your sweet review, I am happy you like the story!

**SupremeHyren-** Lol, an update gives you a happy day? I am happy I can give you some joy XD! Thanks for the review!

**Sorceress-fox-** Ivory Eye's came from the part when the keys of the piano caused a gleam in Klose's eyes. Lol, it doesn't make much sense really, but I needed a title and it was one of the first things that came to mind. I figured Winry and Al are more like siblings now, I could just imagine them constantly fighting over things. And it's ok to take your time with reviews! If you're busy, you're busy. I admit I like hearing from people but never feel pressured to review my story! Good luck with your summer work!

**Tami-** Thank you for the congratulations! It means a lot. I am happy people are enjoying this fic, and I have received nothing but kind compliments from people! I am so happy you have been entertained by this fic; I am enjoying myself just writing it. This fic is meant to be one big mystery; soon things will just get more confusing for Ed, more questions to answer! I am obviously very into mystery and gory scenes myself. I have wanted to write a fic with a plotline like Held for a long time, I'm just glad I'm finally doing it. And for the political and manga stuff, there is much more on the way! I have only had a few things from the manga added in so far, but soon there will be much more. My length of the chapters seems to increase with every new post XD! I don't mind writing long chapters myself, they just take longer for me to update. Well, thank you so much with your comment. It was very sweet and very enjoyable to read! I hope you continue to read and enjoy my fic, thank you so much for your awesome review!

**Saturn Stars-** I keep trying to catch you on msn, but I guess I just miss you every time! You actually read my fic XD, lol; I was very surprised when I saw your review. I'm glad you like it so far, and I must thank you very much for your compliments. Awesome hearing from you, thank you very much for the kind review! Talk to you later!


	17. My Why

I once had this dream that I sold Ed my shoe. He then sat me down on a stole, telling me how much he loved that shoe of mine and was willing to hand me the rights to FMA to show his gratitude.

And then I woke up. Doesn't life just suck?

* * *

Held

By The Gomp

The sound of a gun firing rang out, and no, it was not my own.

My head automatically jerked towards the offensive sound. The moment I turned, I saw a few events unravel before me.

Armstrong fell to his knees, blood pouring forth. He gave a moments hesitation, but he then lifted his gun and fired at the man in the crowd who had shot him. The crowd's terrified screams just increased.

By pure shock and utter confusion, a few others in the security squad began to randomly shoot people on the other side of the gate. People began to fall…

And then behind us all, screaming at the top of his lungs, it almost seemed like Roy had become our choir as he yelled in his tenor voice: "Cease fire until my order!" He yelled it over, and over, and over…

I simply watched, trying to convince myself that it was just a dream. One of the most vivid, most horrifying dreams I had ever had.

But oh God, it was real.

It was real and I was standing right there…

I stood right there with the gun still held tightly in both my shaky hands.

And the girl in front of me just stared. She did not scream anymore, she did not yell, she simply gave me a ghostly stare, as if she already knew of her death. A tear rolled down the side of her face mixing with the blood that was from her mother.

Even though their faces were not the same; the long brown pigtail braids, the youth of the child… it caused the image of Nina to dance behind my eyes.

My hushed voice was just quiet enough for only me to hear. "No, it's not her." Deep down I knew it wasn't, but I was still tortured by the image.

And besides everything else, there was something else that was killing me inside.

Roy had ordered us to shoot and kill.

Was this what being in the military was all about? No pride, no honor, simply senseless killing? Do we kill because we're human, as a human is this how we control things; we decided what the meaning of life was?

Was this what it felt like to be in a war?

Oh God no… I closed my eyes tight, just wishing the world away. No, no, no.

But no matter what, the world wasn't going to go away. The false image of Nina stood in front of me, the sound of the other soldier's guns being fired ringing in my ears. Everything was wrong, it all was wrong.

Roy, I'm not you…

I opened my eyes, looking down at my hands. My white gloves covered the flesh and the shiny steel of my auto-mail. The gun felt so foreign in my grasp, so heavy. The gun fell away from my fingertips and clattered loudly against the concrete ground.

…I will never become a dog of the military.

The sound of my clap was only heard by me, drowned out by screams of the crowd.

At that moment I had realized I didn't care if I was locked away for life because I used alchemy, the military could send me to Ishbal and allow me to die, I could be taken away and never-ever see Al again. I just didn't care what the military would do to me, it didn't matter!

I was Edward Elric; I was a killer, a sinner, just one big joke. I was a man who had done nothing but mess with God, a type of God I had seen yet I still had a hard time believing. I was nothing more than a mistaken person.

As a human it is not our purpose to judge others. Because I was part of the military it did not give me the right to kill freely…

…as humans, it's our purpose to understand, to understand life and to understand the world around us.

Not judge, to understand.

Roy, I realize that, that's why I'm not like you.

That's why I would never be a dog of the military.

And Nina, I could not save you before, but I can save this child. I was going to save this child.

I fell to my knees and thrust my hands quickly towards the ground, calculations consuming my world. If I planned to stop the whole masquerade, the time was then. I could feel some of my own energy drain away as I forced the cement wall to shoot from the ground almost in an instant, to block anymore firing.

To save the lives that deserved to be saved.

To give some hope for myself.

To allow that child to live.

It didn't take long for the wall to be fully finished. The shouting and screaming still occurred on the other side, yet the wall helped drown out the noise.

"Roy…why did you do it?" I spoke to the stoned ground, ha, yea, maybe that would answer me. "Why?"

I was surprised when I realized how silent things had become on my side. Hell, you would have thought at least some noise would be happening, but no, it was quiet.

I took a chance and looked up only to find almost everyone in security was looking at me. Some seemed like they were in shock while a few seemed rather impressed. Shit, talk about getting attention.

And then there were a few people who were trying to help Armstrong.

Oh God…Armstrong.

He was bleeding and it seemed almost none stop. I couldn't get a good view of him considering I was on the ground so I decided to try and stand up, but the moment I did so, my world began to spin and I couldn't keep proper balance.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Havoc coming towards me, I suppose to try and help me stand straight, but a voice stopped his movements. That very voice sent a few nasty shivers down my spin. I closed my eyes, catching myself against the stone wall I had created. No, I never wanted to hear that voice again!

"Don't help him; he used some of his own energy in the alchemic reaction. Eh, Fullmetal, I thought you were more professional than that."

Let me explain something to you about alchemy. There are two types of energy which can be used to cause an alchemic reaction. There is energy that is from the memories of the other world which pretty much feels like you're pulling it from thin air, or you have your own human energy which is a lot easier to call upon. Any good Alchemist knows not to use their human energy; if they do there is a high possibility of them killing themselves. But, with using their own human energy the alchemic reaction will be more quick and efficient. Thus, that is why I used some of my own energy, to make sure the alchemic reaction was quick.

My eyes became two thin slits that promised death, as I glared at Roy. I could feel the blood in my veins beginning to pump faster, my adrenaline beginning to rise. My heart felt heavy all of the sudden, my anger threatened to take control.

I had trusted Roy, how could he have ordered something like that?

Roy stood on the stage, his shaggy hair hanging over his eyes, a smirk dancing over his face. I wanted to wipe that smirk off; I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I wanted to do so much; my fingers itched to tear that bastard apart!

But the one thing I wanted most from Roy was for him just to tell me why. Why he did it.

The pain I felt deep inside me was apparent in my voice. "Your nothing but shit." In away it felt like Roy had broken me. I had trusted him; I had put my faith in him… I thought he was such a better person than that. Roy, why, why, why!

"Edward…"

"What!" I avoided the dizziness that consumed me, my boots smacking against the pavement, a limp in my every step. I walked towards the stage, looking up at the man who avoided eye contact. How could he have done it, how could he have told me to kill a child? Roy…

I stopped a few feet from the stage, staring up at the man above, trying to see under his mop of dark hair. But I could see nothing; it was as if his good eye was not there. "Roy-"

I did not finish my words because in on swift motion Roy turned on his heals, heading towards the stairs that lead off the stage. His voice followed him. "Men, stabilize the crowd."

I looked down the line of soldiers; all of them saluting Roy's back, saying "Yes sir."

I blinked a few times, trying to get my head on straight. Oh hell no. No, no, no, no, no.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking, why I would ever do such a thing, but I was so angry, so upset, so…just plain pissed at the world that I didn't think thoroughly through my actions. I just did what my emotions told me to do and my emotions told me to stop Roy. To stop him anyway I knew how, it didn't matter how I did it, just as long as I stopped him. I wasn't finished with him yet, I still wanted answers.

I turned, ignoring the pain in my left leg, and ran towards the gun that I had dropped on the ground. In one swift motion the gun was in my hand and being aimed at Roy's retreating form.

My words seemed calm, well collected. It sounded like I knew what I was doing, even though I damn well didn't. "General Mustang, don't move."

I cocked the gun, it clicked, telling me the gun was ready to be fired

Roy stopped; his cane's clanking being silenced. We stood like that for a few moments, neither of us moving. I knew he was waiting for me to speak; he was waiting for me to ask him my question. But all I could do was stare at him. Why Roy, why did you do it? Why…

My hands suddenly began to shake, the gun rattled against my gloved metal hand. As if knowing my hesitance, Roy slowly turned towards me. This time I did see his eye.

It caused me to take a step back.

His voice came out so smooth, so everyday. What he said sounded more like a fact rather than a question. "You can't do it, can you? You can't shoot?"

I closed my eyes tight, my words being forced. "I trusted you."

"I see."

I see? Is that all the bastard could say? I see, I fucking see?

My hands automatically stopped shaking, my arm stretched out in front of me. My eyes opening wide, aiming at Roy's head. My finger wrapped itself around the trigger, beginning to pull back.

I FUCKING SEE?

I wasn't sure how many soldiers plowed into me, but in an instant I was suddenly aware of a bunch of weight that had piled on top of me, the gun scattered loudly away to some dark corner.

Shit, my right shoulder felt like it was going to fall apart.

I never got to see Roy finish walking away, but I could hear the sound of that damn clanking cane.

And the loud click of handcuffs that ringed into my ears.

* * *

"Hold still." 

"Let me go!"

"Edward, will you calm down and just hold still."

I hated needles with a passion, seriously, I HATED THEM! I tried my best not to look at what the Doctor was doing. Even with Novocain I could still feel the piercing of my skin and the yanking of the thread that was partially inserted into my shoulder. My stomach turned with every new stitch.

I spoke between clenched teeth. "Just let me go."

"Why, so you can squirm around? If I let you go you will just make things worse." I glared at Havoc, even though I knew he was right.

When the soldiers had plowed into me they had torn open a good number of my stitches, so instead of sending me to jail or whatever, they were forced to take me to the hospital ward. Ha, I was beginning to think jail would have been much better.

Havoc pushed down on my upper arms, trying to get me to stop fidgeting. I was tempted to kick him, but I knew he was just trying to help. The doctor worked away, trying to repair the broken stitches.

I gave the bed sheets a death grip as I felt the prick of the needle, I was sure my knuckles were a bright white. My breathing sped up. Oh man, this totally sucked.

"Almost done Major Elric, a few more to go." Yea, not soon enough.

Havocs voice piped in, humor in his tone. "You're almost as bad as a kid, come-on, it can't be that bad."

I ignored Havocs comment because I was well aware that I was acting immature and in realty I knew it wasn't that bad, but that didn't mean my needle-phobia was going to suddenly disappear. I closed my eyes tight and just tried to calm myself.

It took a few more minutes and a couple more stitches until the Doctor finally announced he was done. The moment he finished, Havoc removed his hold and allowed me to finally move around a little more freely. Gauze was then gingerly wrapped around my shoulder, protecting it from any invading bacteria or any further damage to the wound.

As the Doctor was wrapping the gauze I noticed how quiet the room had suddenly become, all of us were drifting into our own thoughts.

I didn't want to think about anything because I knew if I went into thought I would think about _him. _If I thought about _him_ I would think about what he did, then I would think about what I did.

I had almost killed him…

"You need to take better care of this shoulder of yours, keep it well cleaned and make sure you don't over exert the joints. The last thing you need is an infection." The Doctor made sure the gauze was securely tied around my shoulder, then stood. I looked at the man, offering a weak smile, nodding my head to show my gratitude.

The Doctor smiled back then walked out of the room.

I grabbed my black tank top, which was on the hospital bed, and carefully pulling it on over my head. There was a dark stain which surrounded the area of my left shoulder, the stain of blood marking my clothing.

I pulled on my black jacket and then the red one. My once white gloves, which were now stained the color of red, were stuffed into a pocket.

I held my hands in front of me, not even bothering to look up. I didn't want to see their faces, see the disappointment. Hell, one of those faces was a face I had hoped that I wouldn't see for a long time. Ha, seems my luck was against me.

As expected, there was a click from the cuffs being locked around my wrists.

"Is that comfortable?"

I looked over at Havoc who stood in front of me. "Stop being nice to me." He had been careful to hold me down and now he was asking me if I was comfortable, it felt so wrong.

Havoc patted my head. "Why should I?"

I was tempted to laugh at him. I could tell him a million reasons why he shouldn't be nice; the top being I almost killed his commanding officer.

My words came out bitter. "Just stop."

"Edward, you stop." Her voice made my body tremble. I looked past Havoc to the woman who had spoken to me. She sat in a chair by the door, her legs crossed, a gun lying in her lap. Her arms were folded, her blonde hair falling over only one of her shoulders. She didn't even look at me as she spoke again. "Let him do what he wants."

"Look, I just don't get why he's trying to be nice to me."

"And how would you like us to treat you?"

That was an awfully good question. How did I want them to treat me? I mean, no one in their right mind would say 'like crap', cause trust me, they would treat me like crap. But, being kind didn't seem right considering the circumstances. So, I did the only thing I could think to do, I kept my gaze locked to the floor and kept my mouth shut.

Havoc spoke again. "Edward, everyone knows how hot tempered you are and how big of idiot you become when you don't think straight. Sure, none of us approve of your actions, but we have all known you for years. I mean, it's not like you were actually going to shoot him, right?" My finger had wrapped around that trigger and began to pull… I would have loved to say no to Havoc, but I couldn't.

Havoc finally turned away from me, looking at the woman in the chair. "Riza, when do they want him?"

It was a simple question, but it defiantly perked my interest. I was curious who 'they' were.

"Not till they send word. Until then, we wait."

"Well then, do you want some coffee?"

Since my eyes were still towards the floor I wasn't exactly sure how Riza responded, but I could only imagine she gave him a sign indicating yes since in a moments time the door opened and then closed once more.

And the moment that door closed, I felt the most uncomfortable I had ever felt in my entire lifetime. The only sound that penetrated the silence was Riza's constant finger tapping against her arm.

"Is this how it will be from now on?"

Riza's sudden words shocked me, I glanced up to find her looking at me, waiting patiently for me to answer. I felt ashamed to talk to her, I felt ashamed to even look at her. But she wanted an answer, she deserved one….

Hell, how do you answer a question like that?

"What do you mean?"

Riza narrowed her eyes. It took her a few moments to reply. "You jump to conclusions too quickly." What was that supposed to mean?

I tried to be honest with my words; it was the only response I could think of… "Well, usually my instincts don't prove me wrong." Which was a fact, my instincts were pretty good, well, at least when I actually listened to them.

"You are going to have to face him sooner or later; do you plan to follow your instincts then?"

I knew exactly whom she was talking about, but I found her question hard to answer. I was still angry with Roy, my blood boiled just with the thought of him. She was indirectly asking me if I was planning to hurt Roy the next time I saw him, and honestly, I just couldn't answer.

"Edward, talk to him."

The conversation needed a subject change.

"I'm surprised they allowed you to guard me, considering you're not in the military anymore." The comment wasn't meant to sound offensive; I really did just find it a little odd that Riza was being put in charge of someone who had committed a very big illegal action.

"Considering my old rank and that I'm married to the General, I don't think you should be surprised at all." Oh right, I forgot, people with power always got their way.

She lifted an eyebrow at me. "Do you think that if you tried anything funny I wouldn't shoot?" Just to add emphasis Riza ran her fingers of the metal piece on her lap.

Nope, not at all. I had a feeling that if I did try anything stupid a bullet would make a nice home in my head.

I used my cuffed hands to push some of my bangs away from my face, the oil and grease in my hair not feeling very attractive. I took a deep breath and allowed it out slowly. Ok, let's try again, next subject.

"How's Major Armstrong?"

"He's in surgery; we won't know his exact condition till they are done with the operation."

"Oh." was the only answer I could give.

Silence fell between us; I suppose talking wasn't going to make anything better. I mean, seriously, I had almost killed her husband, almost killed a really good friend of mine. I prayed that one day things would be alright between me and Riza, but I couldn't really bet on it. Why Riza had asked to be one of the people who watched me was beyond me. Most likely she just wanted to see if I had cracked or what.

The door finally opened again, Havoc carrying three cups of coffee. He handed one to Riza then walked over to me.

"I'm not exactly sure what you put in your coffee, but considering how much energy you always have I put a little bit of creamer in it and a lot of sugar."

I almost laughed at what Havoc said, but simply just held out my cuffed hands and kept a straight face. The warm flimsy cup was placed in my hands, he was careful not to spill. I took a cautious sip. Hmm, it was pretty good actually.

"Thanks."

"I figured if I would have asked you earlier you would have just told me no, so…" Havoc shrugged. "Just drink it, you're going to need to be awake for the next few hours. " Havoc smiled and took the seat next to me. He took a sip of his coffee and then placed it on his knee.

Be awake for the next few hours? I didn't even want to know what was planned for me. All I hoped was I wasn't placed in some torture chamber where people pulled out your toenails one by one, now that would suck. But hey, at least I would only have one foot for them to work on.

"Were they able to contain the crowd?" I wasn't asking either of them particularly, I just hoped one would answer. Havoc had the honors of doing so.

"Central's police arrived around the time we arrested you, they seem to have gotten things under control." He then smirked. "Guess what they concluded started everything…"

I gave him a crocked glance. "Do you mean that loud noise we heard?" He nodded a few times. "What was it?"

"A child's balloon popped."

I almost fell from the hospital bed I was sitting on. He had to be kidding me!

"No-no way."

"Yes way."

Riza's voice broke into our conversation. "If you consider the fact that the crowd was already wound up, everyone was placed on alert. Any noise we would have heard would have been magnified by our own senses, it's not uncommon for something like this to happen. It just shows how foolish humans can truly be."

"I guess we are petty things." I sighed as I took another sip of my coffee. It was just so sad that some people probably died because of a simply balloon.

The door opened again and revealed a well-dressed soldier, one I had never seen before. He whispered into Riza's ear, took one glance at me, and then was gone. Riza stood up, holding her coffee in one hand and the gun in the other.

"Let's go, the Parliament is waiting."

* * *

I only counted eleven. There were supposed to be twelve, but eleven was all I counted. And the one missing was the one who had spoken to Roy before Roy had given his orders. 

And Roy…

I didn't even look at him; just knowing he was in the room had made my gut twist and turn in ways that were not comfortable. God, the anger was still inside me. Roy sat in the far corner of the room, his legs crossed at the ankles, hands clasped in front of him. When I first walked in I noticed he was watching me, my every move. I simply turned away, refusing to make eye contact.

I was back in the same room I had my hearing in, not much had changed. It was still impressively decorated, light seeped in through the heavily draped windows. The long table that had been stretched across the room was as bold as ever.

I pulled at the chain that connected my wrists, the metal clanked. My hands were cuffed and I was being forced to stand in front of the vultures of the government, how vulnerable could you get?

Chairman Hakuro sat in the center of the Parliament members, as if he was the main attraction. By that time I was just so sick of the stupid government I didn't even care what they were to do to me. I couldn't win, I simply couldn't. And constantly I was being forced to fight with them, how the hell did I get stuck in a never ending battle?

As expected, Hakuro was the one who addressed me. His voice was professional with a tinge of power weaved into it. "Edward, it seems you don't care to listen to you orders."

"Can we just get this over with; seriously, I don't need your speeches."

The looks on some of the Chairmen's faces were simply priceless. I knew I was just asking to get in more trouble then I already was in, I was just digging myself in a ditch, a ditch which most likely I wasn't going to be able to get out of. I had the charge of alchemy and attempted murder of a high ranking officer stapled to my back, with the two together it was sounding like a death sentence to me. But honestly, if I was screwed then why would I want to hear some long speech of senseless babble from some old geezer? Speeches, I always hated speeches.

Chairman Hakuro looked at me; his fingers laced together, his face stern. For a few moments it just seemed all we could do was stare at each other, see who would blink first.

Then the unexpected happened, Hakuro actually cracked a smile. "Well, now isn't that the boy I remember so well. You were worrying me for awhile with your mature act. I'm happy to see your old arrogant self hasn't totally been diminished."

I sighed. "Please, can we just get this over with?" I sounded pleading to my own ears. I just didn't have the energy to be taunted by the man.

"I see, well then, I say we follow the boy's request. I'm sure you're aware of the crime you have committed." I was a little surprised that he used crime in the singular tense, but just ignored it.

"Yea." My head fell down, my hair falling in my face. I wasn't ashamed of what I had done; I was just so tired with dealing with stupid laws, dancing around the politicians that ruled the world.

"Good, do you have anything to say to defend your actions?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I snuck a glance at Roy. Roy sat in his chair, looking at me as calm as ever. I chewed on my lower lip while concentrating on an answer. I finally turned my eyes away from Roy and lifted my head so I was looking back up at the Parliament.

"I did what I thought was right, I followed my emotions."

"Following your emotions? What about your head? You're a smart boy; you should know emotions aren't always trust worthy."

"You're right, emotions aren't always trust worthy, but they are what tell me what's true to me. I did what I thought was right, even if by others it's considered a mistake."

I didn't know if I truly meant what I said, but it was the best answer I could come up with. I, myself, had done many things that could be considered as mistakes. Sure, some of those 'mistakes' hurt, some have destroyed my life, but with age I was discovering that I couldn't really regret them, all I could do was move forward. Move forward and learn my lessons along the way. Yea, I suppose that's how everything worked.

Izumi had once told me she didn't regret creating Wrath, I was beginning to truly understand her.

Hakuro lifted an eyebrow at me, but didn't say anything at first. He unlaced his fingers and used a hand as a chin rest. "Interesting philosophy Major Elric, very interesting." He cleared his throat, removing his hand from his chin. "We warned you about using alchemy, your actions were inappropriate."

"I'm well aware."

"Well then…" Hakuro stood up from his chair; he placed both his hands on the table in front of him and leaned slightly forward. "…the Parliament offers you their gratitude for stopping a grave mistake from taking place; even though alchemy was used we are considering the situation extreme enough to allow the use of alchemy. Chairman Neil's actions were not supported by the whole Parliament, we apologize that General Mustang had been given false information. We will submit a public apology for the people of Amestris. I fear these types of actions are what cause negative opinions towards Amestris government, that is why Edward we are grateful towards your actions, it is people like you who give this country hope. Even though your actions were inappropriate we will not punish you to show you our gratitude. But please be aware alchemy is still illegal. Our laws will not change; simply consider yourself lucky once more."

Well… hmm. I suppose that was it.

I was getting off once more…

Holy crap was it a lucky day! Either the Parliament had one hell of a soft spot for me or I was just one lucky guy. I was tempted to fall to my hands and knees and give a scream of excitement. This was practically ridiculous; they were dropping the charges while thanking me at the same time!

"Also, General Mustang had placed in a request to have your probation lifted, the Parliament at first rejected the proposal, but we have now decided to reconsider. As of now, you are off probation and allowed to travel freely."

Ahhh this had to be a dream, pinch me! Why the hell was I being given love all of the sudden? What a fantastic thing the Parliament was, I rather liked the Parliament at that moment. Oh, what a bunch of neat and great old guys. Yay for the Parliament!

Hakuro straightened his suit and sat back down in his chair. "As for any other situations that might have taken place during the events of this morning." Hakuro looked between Roy and me, shit. "I would prefer they are taken care of in private."

My world suddenly darkened.

Well, I was pretty sure I could live with that. In private he said? That sounded rather alright with me.

* * *

I don't really remember how I got to Roy's office, but all I knew was we were finally together in a room all alone. 

And my raging anger was as active as ever.

I clenched my fists tight, trying to help control my emotions. The office door was locked, Riza sat outside the door I'm sure to make sure we didn't kill each other. It was a perfect opportunity to deal with Roy the way I saw fit.

Why Roy, why? Why had he done it, why had he told me to kill that child?

"The news is spreading quickly about the hero of Central. It seems you will be making headlines once again."

Roy's back was towards me, he looked out his window, leaning against the wall. His form seemed very relaxed, as if the day was just fine.

But it wasn't fine, the world felt broken.

I couldn't take it anymore. I walked loudly across the wooden paneled floor, my limp apparent in every step.

"Edward."

I stopped a few feet away, answering to his call. "Roy."

His motions were quick, well, very quick considering he was a partial gimp. He grabbed me by the upper arms and pushed me against the wall. I groaned a little from the pain I felt, but I refused to show him any of my weakness.

We stared at each other for a few moments, neither of us willing to look away. Roy's voice came out low, carrying a rough edge to it. "So is this the type of person you have become? Is this who you plan to be?"

I was still so mad, I didn't want to hear his voice, didn't want to answer his questions! What the hell did he mean anyway? I bared my teeth at him, a growl growing in the depths of my throat.

He had told me to kill her, looked me in the eye and told me to shoot. Was that the person Roy himself had become?

Roy looked at me, that stupid, crappy, annoying smirk playing over his face.

Then he said it, the words which set me on fire. They were so simple, but sounded so… just so…

"I see."

My left arm tore away from Roy's grasp, my left fist suddenly ready to smack him down. But Roy had predicted the move, grabbing my real fist with his hand. I didn't want to talk anymore; I just wanted to hurt him.

God, I was just so furious, so mad!

Roy's hand tightened around my human fist. "Is that all you can bring at me?"

I didn't need a second invitation. Roy's left side was a blind spot because of his eye patch, my right balled up fist flew too fast for him to even register it. The nice slap of metal hitting skin rang out into the darkened room. Roy's back hit against the wall roughly, he then proceeded to lean on the wall for support.

Even though blood ran down the side of his face, he did not falter with that hideous smirk of his. "That's all you got?"

Damn him! Just damn him! Why was he testing me, what did he want me to do to him? He was just feeding the fire that was inside me.

I grabbed onto the collar of Roy's shirt, pulling him up. His lone eye looked at me, stared at me. I pulled my human fist back, ready to punch him again.

Instead, Roy took the opportunity to grab onto my shoulders and kneed me right in the crotch.

…ouch.

I fell backwards, hitting my back against the side of Roy's desk. Automatically pain shot through me, a gasp came out between clenched teeth. Between the pain that radiated from down below and from my injured back, I wasn't sure how I was keeping consciousness.

Roy's voice sounded pleased. "Are you done yet?"

Oh man did my crotch hurt like one mother-fer! I took a few moments, trying to make the throbbing stop and to catch my breath. Once my body began to feel slightly more together I allowed my head to loll up. My voice was hoarse as I spoke. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

In one quick swoop with my good leg, I swift kicked Roy, his legs easily fell right out from under him, in an instant he fell right onto his butt, score.

I crawled over to Roy, planning in my head what I was going to do next. So many options, so many ways to damage him. Every time I hurt him it made me feel just a little better. And not just from what had happened that day, but from years of suppression. God damn did I really need to do this ass kicking.

Roy watched me as I crawled my way towards his form, once I was close enough he used his right foot and kicked me right in the face.

Well… that was totally unexpected.

I toppled over to my side, tasting blood in my mouth. Shit, he was really asking for it. I rolled over and pushed myself to my feet, ignoring the protests of my body. I took a few steps forward and made it to Roy's sitting form.

So much pent up emotion was finally being let out. I just wanted to hurt him, I've wanted to do it for so long and now I was finally getting the chance. No, we were not going to use alchemy this time. Now we were using man power, we were being the men we were and just doing one nice ass whooping of each other. It felt good, it felt damn good.

I punched Roy again across the face with my left; my right hand tightly gripped his shoulder.

Punch, punch, punch.

Just keep punching and it would make the world better. Yes, it would.

Roy's hands suddenly shot out and in one quick motion… he took me out of the game. His actions were simple and almost cheating; he grabbed onto my damaged shoulder and with his other hand gave the injury on my chest one strong push, digging into the wound.

It was such a simple action, but holy hell, why did it hurt so much?

The pain brought me to my knees. In an instant I was seeing stars; the world was spinning wildly around me. I forgot to breathe, it just hurt that much. My hands carefully grabbed onto my chest, a poor attempt to stop the agony. I was tempted to cry because it hurt so much, but there were no tears to give. Whatever Roy had done, he had known what he was doing. I was in so much suffering that I just couldn't move. All I could do was lay in a heap on the ground, hoping that I wasn't dieing, because I sure felt like I was.

I was so blinded by the pain; I didn't even realize Roy had moved closer to me. A hand brushed the side of my hair away, breath heated my ear. "Edward, are you done?"

I sounded like a child as I began to whimper. I wanted to tell him no, but I couldn't find the strength to form words, all I got was shuddered gasps.

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

Two strong arms gently grabbed onto my body and lifted me up. I wanted to push Roy away, but there was nothing in me. I just couldn't move, all I was aware of was my own agony. I was gently placed on one of the couches that were in the room and I sank into the cushions.

I don't know how long I laid like that, just in pain. A shot of morphine was sounding very nice, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. So I simply laid there, waiting for my body to fully collect itself. Time stretched and stretched and the silence of the room became rather haunting. But with time the pain finally dulled away, leaving me with nothing but sweat and a sleepy form.

I uncurled myself from my fetal position, but still silently laid across the couch. I knew Roy was well aware that I was awake and alert; he had laid me facing him. He was sitting on the other couch that was a few feet away, watching me intently.

We simply stared at each other.

His questioning words held no demand, just curiosity. "Are you willing to talk things out now?"

I sat for awhile, just watching him. I was too tired and hurt to fight anymore, all I could do was listen to what he had to say. I suppose with time Roy realized I didn't plan to answer, but he seemed to know thathe had my attention. He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back in the cushions of the couch, his head looking up at the ceiling.

"I would have never followed Chairman Neil's orders if he hadn't threatened to send us all to Ishbal. Edward, he sounded so sincere, I couldn't allow any of you to go to war." The tone Roy used automatically told me that he wasn't talking to me as a superior officer; instead he spoke to me like an old friend. I was someone he trusted, someone he felt he could be honest with. I turned away from him, feeling unworthy.

"Killing innocent people seems much worse then killing soldiers." And it did. I think I would have been much better off killing a man who was prepared for battle than a child who thought she was having a nice day out with her mother.

"You have never been in war, you don't understand."

"Don't tell me that shit." I looked over; Roy was still staring blankly at the ceiling. "You saw her didn't you? She was just a child." I wanted to add that she reminded me of Nina, the torturing image of a child I once failed, but I couldn't. It didn't matter anyways, that was something I didn't think Roy would fully understand. Roy had known what happened to Nina, but at the time he told me I couldn't do anything about it. I still carried the guilt of that day with me… he just didn't need to know.

"And I knew you would have never killed her."

I bared my teeth at him. "You told me to kill her, directly you told me to follow your orders!"

"But you still never shot, you still saved the day."

That shut me up. I wasn't sure what he was getting at, but he was right, I didn't shoot. Still…

My voice sounded weak. "Did anyone die?"

"Armstrong killed the man who shot him, an elderly man was shot and killed by a rookie, but other than that just many injured and another dark day in Parliament's history."

I said it more for myself then for Roy to hear. "War would still be better."

Roy looked at me, his face curled in an almost indescribable expression. I had only seen that specific expression once or twice before, it was his war expression, the haunting memories taunting his features.

"Right now if you went to the Great Desert to fight you would not be killing innocent people, but let's say we did win this war, which I can tell you is most unlikely, but let's say we did. I don't think you understand that by the end of your war days one innocent dead child will mean nothing. You will be looking at a much grander scale; the death of many innocent people will be on your hands if we moved into Xing's territory. Your sins will be impossible to make up for, Edward; your humanity will be nothing."

What he said next was quiet, but I was pretty positive I heard him correctly. "I finally have the family I've always wanted, if I went to Ishbal I stand a chance of losing them. I-I can't lose them. This is what war does, it tears our lives apart." Roy's words were not what struck a cord deep inside me; it was the voice he spoke with. I never knew Roy could sound the way he did, it scared me.

"Why is this happening, everything, why is it all happening?" I sighed, my fingers curling into the fabric of the sofa. I was sounding like a complainingchild and I knew it, but I wanted some type of answer, an explanation. I was stuck in the military during a war, I had almost killed a dear friend, oh hell, I felt like I was losing my mind. Why was the worldzipping by so quickly without me being able to catch up? I have said it a million times, and I planned to say it again, I just wanted to go home.

"I don't know, things just happen. We can't control the world Edward; we are just part of it. It's said that everything happens for a reason." What a stupid quote.

Roy's hands were placed at his sides; he looked between the two, as if remembering something about them. "I don't know if I can save us from war. Xing is using alchemy; our soldiers are simply using fire power. We are on foreign land, our numbers of troops doesn't even compare to theirs. Reality is that we must admit to ourselves that out chances of winning are just not th-"

"We will find a way."

Roy looked at me, for a moment I became memorized by the blood that still trickled down the side of his face, but his words quickly snapped me back to reality.

"The Parliament won't budge on lifting the laws of alchemy; you and I are useless without it."

I pushed some of my hair out of my eyes. I wouldn't allow Roy to give up hope, there was something we could do, there had to be. I mean, he was the Flame Alchemist and I was Fullmetal… that had to mean something, right?

"It doesn't matter, we will find a way."

I sighed as I pushed myself up, trying to get myself to sit straight. My braid was messy, half of my hair hanging in my face. I groaned at the annoying strands. I untied the braid and began to work the knots out of my long hair.

Roy watched me as I worked on my hair, his eyes following my movements in silence. After awhile I finally cleared my throat, finding the guts to say what I wanted to say.

"I almost killed you."

The knots in my hair seemed fully out, so I began to work on the redoing my braid.

Roy did not seem one bit fazed. "I'm well aware."

It was weird how easy Roy and I could get along when you sat us down and we actually talked. Ha, strange, wasn't that what Riza had suggested?

"Aren't you mad or at least disappointed?" For some reason I wanted him to be upset with me, I was beginning to truly feel like I deserved it.

Shit, really… I had almost killed Roy. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Did you aim that gun at me because your emotions told you to?"

I finished my braid, tying it off with the elastic band.

I couldn't lie to him; I never wanted to lie to Roy. "Yea."

"Well then, as you said to the Parliament, you were just being true to yourself."

I stared at Roy for a few moments, realizing he was using my words against me. I could never kill Roy while being true to myself. But I still smiled at the comment, relaxing more in the cushions of the couch.

Yea, being true to myself. I being true to myself was simply me sitting right there, the two of us being bruised and battered from each others fists and kicks. Learning more about each other, understanding one another better. Like I once said, Roy and I just had something in our relationship that allowed us to fight, forgive, and then move on.

* * *

It was evening and visiting hours were almost over. Upon leaving Roy's office Riza had told me that Armstrong had a successful surgery and was now awake. Even though it was late, I still thought it would only be proper to see how he was doing. 

When I approached his room I found Farman sitting by his bed, talking with Armstrong about something. The moment I entered Farman had excused himself, giving us some privacy. I noticed when Farman walked by me that he gave me an unpleasant look, but I just ignored it. I figured it was pretty obvious why he might have some negative emotions towards me.

Armstrong glowed as brilliant as ever, practically swooning as he spoke.

"What a nice surprise Edward Elric, I wasn't expecting a visit!"

Why did I visit him again?

I gave him a toothy smile. "How are you feeling?" I took a seat at the edge of his hospital bed. The bulky man had a slight pale color to him, but that most likely was from the surgery.

"Very well, thank you."

"That's good; I'm surprised you're so alert after going through what you did."

Armstrong chuckled at me, lifting up his hospital shirt and pointed at the bandages that wrapped around his side. "This is nothing; I have been through much worse."

"Too bad your perfect abs and chest have now been nicked." Deep down I hoped he would now keep his shirt on more often, what a dream that would be.

"Battle wounds Edward, we all have our battle wounds." I gave a soft sigh at that, ok, so forever Armstrong will take off his shirt with any given opportunity, dreams never did come true.

"So, when do they plan to release you? I was shocked when I heard you had been transferred to Roy's unit, I guess it will be cool having you around now."

I was simply trying to make basic conversation, you know, pick a light topic, hoping he wouldn't bring up Roy, but Armstrong's face fell slightly. I wasn't sure if I had said something wrong or what.

"I'm not sure when I'm coming back."

I lifted an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Armstrong eyed me for a moment. He and I were never ones who talked about his personal life; I suppose he wasn't sure if he was comfortable to talk to me about that type of stuff. But after a few moments of hesitation he continued. "They are giving me medical leave."

"Oh?" Well, medical leave would be the obvious, considering he had been shot. I suppose if I had wanted to I would have been given tons of medical leave after the 5th lab, but I was too stubborn for that. But what Armstrong said next almost knocked my socks off.

"Possible permanent medical leave."

"Wh-what?" Wait no, that was wrong. They couldn't cut Armstrong; he had been in the military longer than I had been alive! "When did this happen?"

"Lieutenant Farman was filling me in on the details."

God damn it! How could they do something like that? I mean who would even consider of taking Armstrong out of the military? "Who gave the order? I'll kick their ass!" My last statement came out slightly hysterical sounding even though it was totally unintentional. I just couldn't believe they would consider cutting Armstrong, I mean, after everything he had done…

Armstrong crossed his arms, his look became stern. "Edward Elric, I am so happy you are worried about me, but it sounds like you are over reacting."

I groaned, I didn't think I was over reacting, merely showing concern.

"It's better this way." Armstrong looked out the window in the room, the evening sun beginning to set. "I'm getting too old for this."

I was surprised, almost shocked, that Armstrong would ever say something like that. But truth be told, I suppose one could only take the military for so many years, sooner or later they would begin to wear down. It just sucked; I didn't want Armstrong to leave, especially since there were few State Alchemist that remained.

"On the bright side you won't be pulled into this war." Positive thinking always made me feel better.

Again, slight depression seemed to take over Armstrong's features. "I had paid my dues with Xing long ago."

"What do you mean?"

Armstrong turned his head, his curl swaying a bit from the movement. He looked at me once more, almost as if he was measuring me with his eyes. It was then I realized something, all the time I had known Armstrong he had always spoken to me as a child, I suppose he was trying to decide if it was time to speak with me as a man.

"The Xing people are very kind people themselves; it is their form of government which is corrupt. Years ago under King Bradley's rule and before the Ishbal War, I had once been assigned to do patrol work along the Xing border to the Great Desert. During those days Xing use to welcome the Amestris people."

What Armstrong was saying seemed very interesting. I bid him to continue.

"King Bradley ruined the relation's with Xing by trying to enforce his own ideals; the Xing people seemed unaware of the full power of alchemy. They were such peaceful people, their own government never even tried to help save them."

Armstrong stopped at that and really he didn't need to say anymore. King Bradley was a bloody man, I was pretty positive he had order Armstrong to kill people with his alchemy. I was surprised it didn't cause a war during those days, but then again who would have dared to challenge Amestris during that time? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if this whole Xing War taking place didn't have some relations to what King Bradley had done.

Man, poor Armstrong.

"Maybe you can finally start a new life."

I didn't know how to comfort the man. I was well aware that Alchemist used to be used for horrible things, I was lucky King Bradley never used me for his dirty work. Ok, now that's not including him trying to use me for the Philosopher Stone.

"Well, I will finally be able to follow the Armstrong legacy of taking on the Armstrong Estate! Oh Edward Elric, come and visit me any time you would like!"

Well, it didn't seem like you could damper Armstrong's mood for long.

* * *

Talk about one hell of a day. I felt barely alive by the time I stumbled into the hallway of my dorm. There was so much going through my head that I just refused to allow myself to think, period. I finally reached my dorm door and had to dig around for my key. Once I finally found it, I stuck the metal piece into my lock. My door didn't want to open right away, the keys not willing to turn all the way. After many jiggles and a few kicks at the door, the door decided to finally open. 

Right away I saw the envelope on the floor. I picked it up and tossed it to my bed; I figured I would just read it right before I went to sleep.

My red jacket fell almost immediately to the floor, my black one soon following. After that, my black tank top came off, which I removed as slowly and carefully. I kept glancing at the bed, it just looked so good.

My boots came off next; I then leaned down and pulled off my socks, eww smelly. My belt buckle was being a bitch and didn't want to work, but after a few jerks the leather strap was undone.

The button unbuttoned, the zipper was unzipped, and without much effort my pants fell right to the floor. The cold air of the dorm room teased my sensitive skin; my body ached to just lie in the heaven of my bed.

Ok, really, my body just ached all over. I had new cuts and bruises all over, I felt like one big ugly piece of poo.

I practically threw myself at my bed, but automatically regretted the action when I felt the edge of the envelope dig into my back.

"Ahh crap!"

I winced at the prickly feeling, pulling the envelope out from under me. Right, I still had to read the stupid thing.

I reached for my glasses that I had left at the bed stand the night before. I pushed them up my nose and leaned close to the window, glad that it was a clear sky out so the moonlight provided me the light.

I tore open the sill of the envelop and yanked out the letter, but the moment the letter came out, a white piece of cloth fell onto my lap. I picked up the fabric carefully…

It was one of my white gloves.

I curiously unfolded the letter. The wording was in cursive, very short and simple.

'Edward,

I'm sorry, let's just start over.

Sincerely

Klose

Ps: You left the glove in my room.'

I stared at the glove that was on my lap. Only if Klose knew I had a huge pile of the white gloves in one of my drawls, I was prone to always ruining a pair every few days. But it was still a nice gesture of returning it.

Even though the letter was short, simple, actually kind of sweet, it still spoke wonders. Start over? Honestly, I couldn't ask for more. Starting over sounded like a damn good idea, just pretend what happened that night never happened at all, I liked it.

The part that slightly bothered me though was her saying sorry. If anyone should have said sorry it was me. I had sort of led her on, went along with the smooches, it should have been me who had said sorry first. Well, I suppose tomorrow was another day; she and I could talk and figure out things then. Yea, sounded like a good plan.

BUT before anything else was to occur, I desperately needed sleep. And I mean, I needed it real bad, like I was at the point of being pass out worthy. I pulled off my glasses and placed them back on the bed stand.

I wrapped the cozy blankets around me, practically melting into their warmth. My pillow melded with my head, giving me the most comforting feeling in the entire world. Heaven, just like heaven.

Or just like hell.

My eyes flew open the moment I heard the click of the lock which was supposed to lock my door. What the hell? I quickly turned in my bed and prepared to sit up, but I had turned over too far and practically fell out of my bed the moment my dorm door was slammed open. I was halfway fallen down the side, still curled tightly in my blankets. Light streamed into the dark quarters, partially blinding me for a few seconds. That stupid annoying sound of the clanking of a cane clanked the moment the intruder took a step into the room.

"Ro-Roy?"

"Get up."

What in the world was going on? Hell, Roy never visited me late at night, even in my childhood days. I was tempted to throw one of my pillows at him. How the hell did he even have a key to my dorm room! Well ok, he was General.

"What the hell are you doing? I'm trying to sleep. Shouldn't you be at home with your wife and kid? I mean, do you even know what time it is?"

I untangled myself from my blankets and made a nice plop sound on the wooden floor. Ouch, that hurt my butt. "Or are you here for round two?"

The light switch in my room was suddenly flipped on, this time I pretty much was blinded from the light minus seeing strange spotty shapes dancing in front of my eyes. It took my eyes a few moments to adjust, but when they finally did I found Roy frantically running around my room trying to collect all my clothing. Something wasn't right, especially if Roy was playing laundry man all of the sudden.

"What's going on?"

Roy gave me a brief glance before he dipped down and picked up my red jacket. "I thought I told you to get up." He suddenly shoved my clothing into my arms. "Get dressed, hurry up."

Ok, ok, things were going a little too fast for me. I was still tired and groggily so my brain wasn't processing at a proper speed. "What the hell, why are you even in my room?"

Roy flipped open his pocket watch, I could see his patience wearing thin. Roy's words were spoken so fast I had trouble keeping up with him. "I'll fill you in as we head towards the train station, but what I need for you is to get dressed and take anything that you will need for the next couple of days. It takes twenty minutes to get to the train stationfrom here and the train leaves in 15, so hurry up!"

I finally got a good look at Roy's face; he was black and blue all over. I was tempted to smirk; it looked like I had done my beating well. But hell, I couldn't enjoy it at that moment! All I wanted was to freakin' sleep!

"Roy, slow done for just a second, I refuse to budge till you tell me what the hell is going on!"

Roy limped his way to the door, pulling out a small suit case which I suppose he had brought with him. The suit case was silver, very sleek. He walked over to my bed, avoiding my question. He unlocked the locks and opened the empty case, searching around the room for any articles of extra clothing he felt I might need, which I had very few considering I never needed any. Oh man, what the hell did this guy think he was doing?

He finally looked down at me. I was still sitting on the floor; he narrowed his eye in disapproval.

"Didn't I tell you to get ready? You're going to be late for your train to Ishbal."

Well, that fully got me awake.

* * *

Han-chan's Omake!

"Don't help him; he is worn out because he didn't pace himself. Eh, Fullmetal, I thought you were more professional than that."

My eyes became two thin slits, which promised death, as I glared at Roy. I could feel the blood in my veins beginning to pump faster, my adrenaline beginning to rise. My heart felt heavy all of the sudden, my anger threatened to take control.

I had trusted Roy, how could he have insulted me like that, I am trying to please him my hardest!

Roy stood on the stage, his shaggy hair hanging over his eyes, a smirk dancing over his face. I wanted to wipe that smirk off with my lips. I wanted to do so much; my fingers itched to ravage him!

But the one thing I wanted most from Roy was for him just to tell me why. Why he did it.

The pain I felt deep inside me was apparent in my voice. "You're nothing but shit." In away it felt like Roy had broken me. I had trusted him; I had put my faith in him… I thought he was such a better person than that. Roy, why, why, why!

"Edward…"

"What!" I avoided the dizziness that consumed me, my feet smacking against the concrete. I walked towards the stage, looking up at the man who avoided eye contact. How could he have done it, how could he have told me that I was too small wasn't sure how risqué I should go… so I let this be taken one of two ways…V? Roy…

I stopped a few feet from the stage, staring up at the man above, trying to see under his mop of dark hair. But I could see nothing; it was as if his good eye was not there. "Roy-"

I did not finish my sentence because in on swift motion Roy turned on his heels, heading towards the stairs that lead off the stage. His voice followed him. "Boys, we need to finish this."

I looked down the line of soldiers; all of them saluting Roy's back, saying "Yes sir."

I blinked a few times, trying to get my head on straight. Oh hell no. No, no, no, no, no.

Gomps…thing…

Sad that there is no Winry and Al love? Well calm your ruffled feathers, Al and Winry are still alive… somewhere… out there. I dedicate this part to you Al and Winry fans.

o.o.o.o.o.o

"Oh Al, what a delightful cup of tea!"

Al looked a Winry, a pleasant smile enlightening his features. "Why Winry, I only learned from the best. This meatloaf is simply outstanding!"

Winry lifted an eloquent eyebrow, but then figured that dear Alphonse was just being humorous. Oh what a silly boy that Alphonse was!

"Oh stop it Alphonse, you know that's my special homemade ice cream. Oh, you're such a funny boy!"

Alphonse stared at the brown chunk of food. Ice cream….ice cream….

Winry only saw Alphonse's retreating back and heard his shrill screams of pure terror.

o.o.o.o.o.o

* * *

Authors Note:

OK! Before anyone says anything! I know this chapter seems a little out-of-character, but I remind you our characters are older and different! Now, scenes in this chapter will be brought up later in the fic to help complete your understanding of all the events.

Ok, onto my babble.

Finally, got this chap done! This chapter was very fun to write, but the next one I'm extremely excited about. We will be hitting a big plot advancer! Anyways, I hope you really enjoyed this chapter; hopefully I can get the next one out a lot quicker.

Thanks to my beta and my critic! They always kick ass XD!

**

* * *

Questions you might have… **

**1. Ed…Ed almost shot Roy! What the hell, he got away with it too.**

This scene will be talked about later in the fic. I'm sure some of you can already guess why the Parliament did not mention the conflict between Ed and Roy during Ed's 'hearing'(minus the hint Hakuro gave them), well if you cant guess you will be told soon.

**2. Why didn't the crowd see Edward point a gun at Roy?**

Well…there was …a wall there. Ok, this part I wasn't totally sure people would be clear about. The wall Edward produced was supposed to be big, considering the sound of the crowd was drowned out on Edward's side. I know I didn't directly stat any of this, I was just hoping you guys woulda figured it out XP.

**3. Why didn't Riza stop Roy and why did she ask to be assigned to be one of Ed's guards?**

Ok, I don't know if I will ever comment on this later in the fic, so I figure I might as well tell you now. Riza never stopped Roy because I do not see it in her character. I think Riza is someone who trusts Roy that is why she told Ed to talk to Roy before jumping to conclusions. Also, even though Ed has no clue what Riza was thinking, Ed was pretty much right in saying he figured that Riza just wanted to make sure he hadn't cracked when she asked to be assigned to him. Riza wanted to talk to Ed, tell him to talk to Roy before jumping to conclusions and also she wanted to make sure Ed wasn't a nut case who was now after her husband. Ok, some might disagree with me on this and I apologize, but this is just how I feel things would have gone.

**4. The Parliament is letting Ed go…what?**

Yea, you're probably going 'Ed is getting a little too lucky here…' Well, fact is Chairman Neil had ordered Roy to commit a massacre without the other chairmen's approval. You might also say 'well, why can Ed use alchemy to stop a massacre but they wont allow alchemy in war?' This deals with the type of politicians the Parliament is made up of. They want to save their asses! Like Hakuro said, this is why their government gets negative opinions. Neil did something stupid and the Parliament is just grateful that Ed stopped it before it got worse. Now, let's say the parliament persecuted Ed while the country's thinks Ed as some type of hero. Trust me, that would make things just worse for the parliament.

**5. Gomp! Ed and Roy fight, not cool!**

Heh, yea some people might think the fight between Ed and Roy is a little dramatic. The reason they fight is because I think the only way Roy would have gotten Ed to truly shut up and listen to him was if Roy somehow impair Ed. And anyways, I just thought it would be fun to rematch the two again with handicaps XD!

**6. Did Hakuro know Ed in the older days?**

Remember, Hakuro is the reason Ed got to take the State Alchemist test. So I wont say they knew each other extremely well, but they were well aware of each others exsistence.

* * *

**Geraniums-** Sorry it took me so long to update, I keep running into writers block. Thanks for the comment on the omake's; it means a lot to both me and Han-chan! Lol, you actually told your dad about the happy pill! Yay for the happy pills! Thanks for the review! 

**Maria-** We haven't talked for awhile, but I hope your holiday went good. Lol, nope Ed did not shoot the girl. I'm surprised you like the Klose part, I thought most people would be upset with me about it >3. Is Breda a chimera? Lol, I can't say! It might be a spoiler! Well, we will talk later on msn! Thanks for the review! Talk to you later dear

**Kristianna-** Ahh, so it is Klaus? Argh, that was the original spelling I used! I thank you very much for pointing that out, but considering I'm so far in the story I cant say I will go back and change it right away. I am re-editing the older chapters, so if I do get to the newer ones I'll defiantly fix that, just for the time being it will remain the same. Thanks for the correction!

**TheOneBlueGecko-** A new reader! I'm so excited you have decided to join us along with the adventure XD! I guarantee there is much in store for our fond character Ed! Thank you for the wonderful comments, they mean so much to me, thank you! Anyways, thanks for the review!

**Katratzi-** You didn't find that chapter boring? Well I'm happy to hear. Next chapter is going to be a big plot advancer, whew! And this chapter was, ehh, alright I suppose. Ed didn't end up killing anyone at least. Well, thanks for the review once more!

**HumorQueenMere-** Hey, if I got your interest in the chapter that at least says something. Lol, I think I scare some people away by how I portray Ed's character, but he's just so freakin' fun! Roy and Riza should have more kids? Lol, I totally agree! But, for the time being there is a war on their hands so I can't say if I will get Riza knocked up again. XD We will just have to wait and see. Thanks for the review!

**Kwala-** Thank you for not thinking the last chapter was boring. Was the dream with Al foreshadowing, must wait and see. Yes, I felt Klose was rather bold too, but man! How could you keep your hands off Ed? XD! If you look at my 'Questions you may have…' I answer the thing about Riza standing by and watching. Will Ed tell Winry or Mustang about Klose? XD! I will give you a small spoiler, he will tell one of them. Not telling you which one though. Lol, getting older isn't too bad, now that I'm 19 people look at me as a mature adult (have no clue why) and amazingly my elders actually listen to what I have to say. Only downside is once I hit 21 the only thing I'll have left to look forward to in life is my social security. Oh well. Thanks for the review! Keep giving your nephew back rides so one day he can pass it down and do it to his nieces and nephews!

**AlereVenus-** Nope, Ed did not kill a child. Ed just got a nice lesson on what being in the military is all about. If I was Klose, I wouldn't have allowed Ed to escape XD! Thanks for the review!

**MarshmellowDragon-** You're coming to America! What part of America are you coming to? I read in your profile that your from Italy and go to school in Switzerland, lol, I say you come to America and send me to those places! Well Ed didn't shoot anyone (well, ok, almost Roy) so there was no bloody mess. Lol, if Ed would have killed a chairman he would have been hanged, literally! Anyways, I hope you have a safe trip to the USA! Thanks for the review!

**Tami-** I'm sorry! I tried to update this chapter fast but I had to do many revisions because well… writers block tends to make chapters suck : (. But I got the chappy out! Finally! Yup, war will mess with people, its already beginning to mess with Ed. I'm going to have fun writing the upcoming chapters! More mystery (and some answers) will come in the next chapter. I'm so excited about this upcoming chapter; I think people are getting sick of hearing about it. Lol, the extras were Han-chan's idea, so we must thank her. Also, the amount of reviews I have doesn't truly matter to me. I am extremely grateful towards anyone willing to comment about my fic, but this fic is purely written for my own entertainment. Thank you so much for reviewing, it does mean a lot. But I have said this before, never feel pressured to review. I just hope you guys enjoy what I write. Thank you very much for the wonderful review!


	18. Lost

I don't own FMA, but I will sell you my shoe for it! Really, my shoe is quite nice. I swear! Please…please! Come on!

**Read!** I suggest you read manga 40-41 to help refresh your memory. We will be talking about many things that came from those manga's.

* * *

Held

By Gomp

I suppose you could say the moment was supposed to be awe-inspiring. My hair flipping from side to side, the sun setting with a purplish pinkish horizon, the only sound that penetrated the silence of the desert-like lands was the engine of the military jeep. The world simply being breath-taking…

Yea, right, inspiring. Take away the fact my hair was getting all in my face and even though it was evening the heat was still almost unbearable.

"Major Elric, a few more minutes till we get there."

"Thanks." I wasn't sure if the man heard what I said over the roaring engine of the vehicle, but oh well, what could you do about it?

I had spent the night, and most of the day, on the train. Since any tracks that led to Ishbal's territory were shut off, a military vehicle had to come and pick me up to take me the rest of the way.

Oh right, you might be wondering what the hell was going on. Well, let me fill you in.

Let's get one thing straight, well, it better be straight, I wasn't going to war. See, what happened was Roy had received an emergency call from Maria Ross. Yup, good ol' Ross. He told me that the reception was bad and so it was hard to understand, but he got the gist of what was going on. Ross and her unit had been assigned to do routing work, so pretty much they were traveling across the Great Desert to find useful routs for potential fighting grounds or routs to Xing, a rather dangerous job. Anyways, I suppose Ross had found something she felt was worthy of Roy's attention. And what made everything even more intriguing and mysterious was… it somehow related to me. Yup, not a very comforting thought, if I do say so myself.

Roy himself couldn't leave Central's Headquarters and since it somehow had some type of relation to me, Roy had felt I was the best candidate for the job. And even though Roy didn't say it out loud, I had the sneaking suspicion he felt it was best to get me off base for awhile. Heh, I wonder why.

The jeep suddenly hit a bump in the road, causing me to jump in surprise. I looked through the front window of the car, looking at the buildings that were beginning to come into focus. The town we were heading to seemed dead, fully deserted.

Roy had told me I was to meet Ross in a town called Solace. Solace actually was rather close to the borderline of Amestris, so I wasn't going into the depths of Ishbal. Ishbal itself had become Amestris' military center for the war, soldiers occupied most of the deserted villages, preparing to head into the Great Desert for battle, which made Ross' request that she wanted to meet in Solace rather odd. She was asking me to go to a deserted town where no other military personnel would be found. Also, instead of informing her superior officer of what was going on she seemed to have only informed Roy. It was as if she was hiding something… like she had a secret. Oh boy, did I love secrets.

The jeep entered the abandoned town, buildings seeming hollow without the liveliness of residence to occupy them. Ishbal's villages were a sight to see. They held an ethnic taste to them, pillars, stones, mud, rock… everything was built with tasteful design and done with true hard labor. Hay was used as beds, light was only produced by candles, blankets were hand woven…

The dullness in the color of everything made Ishbal seem alive somehow. It was strange.

The jeep came to a sudden stop. The driver, a young blonde haired soldier, pulled out the keys from the transmission and turned his head towards me. "We're here."

The moment he said that I noticed that the building we had stopped at suddenly had soldiers filing out of it. There weren't many of the soldiers, maybe a dozen at most, but when First Lieutenant Ross came out they all saluted her. Great, Ross's lil' puppet show.

I opened the door and stepped out of the jeep, fixing my hair along the way. I limped around the jeep and waited for Ross to approach me, I gave her a small smirk as she did so.

"Well, Major Elric, I had told you that we would meet again." Her thin hand was held out in front of her. I took the cue and shook it.

"First Lieutenant, you were never one to disappoint."

She smiled at me with one of her brilliant smiles.

I took a moment to take a good look at Ross. Her eyes were shaded by dark sunglasses, her pale skin seemed out of place with the heat of the desert-like atmosphere, her long hair pulled tightly in a high ponytail with a few strands flaring about with the wind, her uniform slightly baggy on her form. I was curious if she had been getting much sleep, eating properly. Her complexion didn't seem right.

"Well, I hope you had a safe trip here and was treated properly." She eyed the young soldier who had driven me.

"The trip was fine, but I am curious to what this is all about." Ok, I was a little bit more than just curious.

"Aa, I could never expect less from you." She winked at me, turning on her heels. "I suppose we should get directly to the point, follow me." She looked around at the line of soldiers. "Stay outside and guard." I watched the line of soldiers salute their First Lieutenant, following her orders.

Ross led me into an age-worn building. The building seemed fair sized, but very bare. Looking inside the only furniture there was was a wooden kitchen table and some seats. There were a couple of doors down a hall, which I presumed lead to other rooms. The moment I stepped through the front door and shut it behind me, Ross turned and looked at me.

"You came alone?" She removed her sunglasses, revealing the dark heavy circles under her eyes.

I lifted an eyebrow. "Yes, what's going on?"

Ross sighed, her shoulders falling forward. "Lots."

The youthful woman had an expression that was too old for her age. Some of her hair had fallen in her eyes; I gently brushed the strands away in a friendly manner. "Are you alright? You're not looking too good." She looked like absolute crap to put it frankly.

Her lips upturned with some amusement, but the expression didn't reach her eyes. "Rumor has it you almost shot General Mustang. And judging by your limp, I suppose I heard right about the 5th lab."

I groaned. "Don't try to change the subject, seriously, what's going on?" Besides, I wasn't really in the mood to talk about friendly ol' Roy.

Ross straightened her form more in an attempt to compose herself, she was worrying me.

"As I'm sure that you're previously aware, my unit and I have been doing routing work." Considering Ross was constantly moving around on unfamiliar territory, a territory the Xing people knew very well, and had to bare the heated desert, it most likely was the explanation to why Ross looked like crap.

Ross continued. "We recently were assigned to investigate farther north in the Great Desert, it is territory which the Xing people seem not to occupy, uncharted land. We were to see if we could find a clear rout to the Xing's fatherland. Edward… we found something."

I was more becoming more intrigued. Finding something in uncharted land sounded almost exhilarating in some strange way. I sounded a little too excited. "What did you find?"

"Ruins of an ancient city."

Ruins of an ancient city? Hmm, I don't know what I had been expecting, but surprisingly I was slightly disappointed. I mean, ancient cities were more for archeologists, not military folk. Then again, the Great Desert was unclaimed territory… no one was supposed to have ever lived there…

"How old do you consider ancient?"

Ross shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "I don't know how old it is, I'm not a certified anthropologist or historian. Edward, there was something about this city."

Ross pulled me more into the room. I followed her until we stopped in the center of the bare area; she looked around as if trying to make sure no one was listening. "Edward, I lost one of my men. We found this building, it resembled like a sanctuary almost."

I placed my hands on Ross's shoulders. "What do you mean you lost one of your men?" Roy had not mentioned anything about death. Ross was heading towards something, something I didn't think I was going to like.

Ross continued, ignoring my question. "This sanctuary, Ed, it was the only building really left standing. It seems like it is being rebuilt."

My mouth fell open slightly. It was being rebuilt, in an ancient city that was mostly in ruins? That didn't sound right.

"Didn't you say the Xing people didn't seem to occupy the territory?"

"They don't, that's just it. We went inside the building to do some investigating. On two of the walls there were these shapes caved into the structure, on another one of the walls it seemed a third one was in the process of being carved in. I can't truly confirm this since I'm not an alchemist, but these shapes almost resembled alchemy arrays. Well, at least they reminded me of them."

As one could expect I was defiantly taken back.

"How is that possible…?"

"I don't kn-"

Someone's sneeze suddenly cut off Ross's sentence. Automatically my head shot towards the location of the sound. The sneezer wasn't either of us and it came from someone who was inside the building

…Ross's unit had been ordered to stay outside. What the hell?

They sneezed again, then coughed. Don't tell me someone had gotten a cold in the type of heat we were in, that would be totally ironic and sucky for them. I was tempted to excuse whoever was sneezing away, I mean, you know, just to be polite. But before the words could even leave, I heard something that left me speechless and confused.

What I heard were words that I couldn't understand. The reason I couldn't understand them was because they were in a totally different language, the same language I had heard that night when I had fought that chimera in Rizenpool, shit.

I glared at Ross, my tone suddenly rising. "What the hell is going on, who is that?"

I didn't even bother for her answer; I followed the sounds of the foreign tongue, being lead to one of the wooden doors. I pushed the door open, my eyes suddenly widening.

"What…what is this?" I felt Ross's hand on my metal shoulder; I turned over and looked at her, my eyes narrowing. "Who is she?"

In the room sat a girl, her eyes had shot up to meet mine the moment I opened the door. There was no doubt about it, she was a Xingen, her slanted eyes were what mostly gave it away. Some of her bangs covered part of her face; her long black hair was placed in various braids. She looked in her teens, youth still apparent. Her clothing was white, but had some smudge marks from dirt, the fabric seemed of silk, the designs and patterns on the cloth practically memorizing. Her hands were tied behind her, feet tied at the ankles. She sat in the center of the dark room, a small window allowing the remaining of the evening light to seep in. Her eyes… they were simply piercing.

"We don't know who she is; we found her snooping around the sanctuary before we entered."

The girl looked between the two of us. She began to mumble under her breath in her foreign words, she spoke of nothing that I understood.

What Ross said next surprised me. "She saved us."

I turned and looked at Ross curiously. "How?"

Ross was about to reply, when the girl spoke something, but this time it was different. She said something I understood. Holy shit, she spoke English! "Leave me go." Her words were weak, she sounded tired. I had a feeling she meant 'let' me go, but no one was perfect.

Ross and I both gaped at the girl in front of us.

"…she has never spoken English before."

I took a step in the room, ready to ask the girl to speak again, when 'holy crap what the hell was that!' popped out of no where. I almost fell over from a near heart attack, the thing had surprised me half to death! It was some type of…creature, and it was growling as it stood by the girl, a chain around its neck. It looked like it was trying to defend the young woman.

"What is that thing?"

It was…black…white… and very pointy teeth. I had never seen anything like it! It wasn't a bird, wasn't a cat… maybe it was…

I had no clue what to do to calm the suddenly irritated beast, so I did the only thing I could think to do. A method I had learned long ago.

"Come here puppy, who's a good boy?" Ok, so it always worked for Winry with Den.

"Edward, I don't think it's a dog."

The thing kept growling, my sweet talking wasn't working. The dog thing wasn't big, but it wasn't small either. I looked back at Ross. "Then what is it?"

"I don't know, we found it with the girl. I suppose whatever the thing is; the girl is its master."

I looked back at the creature once more. I had to admit, the dog thing was kind of cute looking. I had a feeling if I was ever to show it to Al he would want one.

I was cautious with the next few steps I took, trying to act calm and not frighten the girl and the dog thing. The snarls of the beast kept increasing the more I inched closer, but I was just so curious, I couldn't help myself.

I stopped about a foot away from the animals reach; the girl watched my every movement, seeming as curious as I was. "Do you speak English?"

The girl's eyes went distant for a moment, as if in concentration. It took her awhile to answer, but she finally replied. "Some."

I licked my lips, excitement building up inside me. "What is your name?"

"No."

Wait… no? She couldn't say no! I took another step closer, trying to make my movements slow and careful. "My name is Edward Elric." I gestured behind me. "Ross and I are not here to hurt you."

I took another step closer. Yes, if I acted calm and polite then maybe I could have a conversation with the girl. I had so many questions to ask her, so much I wanted to know. Who was she, where was she from, did she know much about the war? Hell, it was as if Ross had struck gold in finding her. Practically no one from Amestris spoke the Xing language, especially since the countries had been on bad terms with each other for a good while. Amestris' language was a rather hard language to learn from what I heard, if this girl knew English then that meant she must had been well educated. Being well educated usually meant that the person was well rounded…well rounded equaled someone who most likely would know information about the war.

Anyways, I took a step closer…

…and automatically regretted it.

I squeaked in surprise when the animal's jaws wrapped themselves around my auto-mail leg, the sound of teeth roughly grabbing steel came alive in the room.

"Xiao Mei!"

The animal's claws tried to scrape into my auto-mail vainly, I could tell the animal wanted to tear me apart. Too bad it grabbed the wrong leg to do so.

A hand grabbed me by the arm, the creature's claws and jaws being torn away from my metal limb as I was quickly dragged out of the room with the door being shut firmly behind. Well, wasn't that an adventure and a half?

I stared wide-eyed at the closed door. "…it bit me." I looked down at my pants, looking at the torn cloth. The thing had tried to bite me!

"It bit a few other officers also, but I think once it gets familiar with you it calms down more."

I turned around and looked at Ross. "She called it Xiao Mei; do you think that's its name?"

"I've heard her call it that a few times; I think we can safely presume that it is. But more importantly, she spoke English. She had never spoken English before."

"Well, how have you been treating her? Having her locked in a room is probably scaring the girl half to death. She probably never felt comfortable enough to speak English to anyone before."

Ross sighed. "There is a reason we have her locked up. We are not sure if she's a threat or not yet."

I groaned. Ross had said before that the girl had saved her and now she was saying the girl might be a threat, it wasn't making sense. Ross had never finished her story and there were too many gaps in the story that I wasn't able to catch up with everything.

"Ross, tell me what happened after you found this 'sanctuary'."

Ross ran a hand through her hair, an exhausted expression on her face. "We found that girl snooping around the sanctuary so we captured her. My men and I had gone into the building to do some more investigating when we were attacked. That is how I lost one of my men, the attacker killed him. The reason I'm not sure if we can trust the girl is because she was the one who saved us from the attacker, but she used alchemy to do so."

Attack, save, alchemy… I simply hoped my jaw didn't hit the floor. So the girl was from Xing, could speak English, and now could use alchemy… ahh! What the heck was all of this? Next Ross was going to say she could pull a white rabbit out of her hat!

"Who attacked you guys?"

"It's the whole reason I brought you here."

I blinked in confusion a few times. The whole reason she brought me here…wha?

Ross began to walk forward; she passed two wooden doors and stopped at the one that was at the very end of the hall. She looked at me, waiting for me to follow.

"Wait, you have the aggressor here?"

If Ross had followed military procedures then the 'attacker' should have been taken to her superior officer and they would have persecuted them the way they saw fit. Why would Ross drag someone who was potentially dangerous all the way through the Great Desert and Ishbal? I swallowed loudly as I walked towards Ross. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what was behind closed-door number two. But I was going to find out anyways, just peachy.

"Be quiet and try not to make too much noise. We have him sedated, but it seems the drugs don't give the full desired affect with this one. He is easily awakened."

My heart began to pump faster. I wasn't sure if I was scared or excited.

Ross was gentle as she pushed the door open. I blinked a few times, trying to look into the room, but this room had no windows, no source of light. I was just going to have to wait for my eyes to adjust.

I took a step in, a poor attempt to get my eyes to work better. It seemed who ever sat in the room had their hair over their face, their body was chained…

…my eyes widened at what I noticed. I lifted my auto-mail hand, looking at the well-structured fingers, the metallic material. I looked back at the body that was chained up on the floor.

The person's head lifted up, his hair parting. He looked directly at me.

My next words came out in a sudden gasp. "It can't be."

…it just couldn't.

"What are you doing? He's just a child! "

"But he could have come here, with us as his target!"

….

"Master, I just remembered! I have a feeling I saw him there. Then he's not human, he's something else…"

….

"In exchange for my mothers body I gave my leg and in exchange for Al's fading soul I gave my arm. That was the Law of Conservation! Where did you get this wound? It's the wound when I got bitten by a fox. This is my arm!"

….

"Why are mine different from yours and Al's?"

"These aren't my real arm and leg."

"Then what happened to your real ones? Where are they?"

….

"But…there's something I want to ask you… If you stole my arm and leg and implanted them on yourself… would you become a human like that? Even if someone wears auto-mail or becomes a suit of armor, does it matter? They'd still be human. But, what about you?"

"Shut up!"

….

"It's your fault. Because of you guys, Mommy-"

"Stop it!"

"Mommy… Mommy… Mommy died! And she was your own mother!"

….

"Hurry up and go. I'm sorry to ask you this, but please take him with you…"

….

His laugh was manic, rather unsettling. But his voice was still groggily, the drugs taking its toll on him. "Edward, I knew you would come."

His auto-mail had been removed; all that was left of his right arm and left leg were the empty sockets and connecter pallets. He was older now, his looks were more mature, he looked like a young adult.

I took a step back, shit.

"…Wrath…"

"I'm glad you haven't forgotten me." More laughter rang out into the small room, sending nasty shivers up and down my spine.

"How could I ever forget?"

* * *

"The missing limbs were the same, auto-mail showed much relation, and after we had him captured he kept saying your name." 

It was a dark night, truly one of the darkest I had ever seen. I sat by the window just gazing out into the endless flat lands, trying to take in and understand the day's events.

Wrath, it was bloody Wrath.

"You said he attacked you, do you think it was in self-defense?"

Ross' chair creaked which caused me to look at her. Her uniform was rolled at the sleeves, her hair out of its ponytail. I followed down the length of her hair, stopping as it reached her shoulders. I eyed the badge which was on Ross' shoulder. It was strange now seeing two stars on the badge which signified her First Lieutenant rank.

"I don't think so. He attacked us out of no where, it was as if he was defending the place."

That was the answer I had feared, he was trying to defend the 'sanctuary'. Because if that was the case then things were just getting more confusing, more serious, more complicated.

"Why would he be all the way in the Great Desert to defend some type of sanctuary being rebuilt?" It was a damn good question. Wrath had disappeared for years and suddenly he's found in a building far in the depths of the Great Desert. What happened in the missing years between? Ross had told me that after they had captured him they had disconnected his auto-mail to impair him; he was quite the wild child to say the least.

"May I have drink?"

I looked past Ross to the young girl who sat at one of the wooden chairs. Various officers were walking past her, paying no mind. I had forced Ross to let her out of the room, she seemed harmless. If she was to use alchemy I could easily over power her.

The girl looked at the various officers with an annoyed expression. "May I have drink?" Everyone still ignored her request, just going along with his or her own business.

Man, do I hate the military life.

I got up from my chair, moving towards the kitchen in search of a cup. I couldn't find any, but I spotted a canteen in one of the chairs. Ehh, it was the own person's fault whoever left it there. I grabbed the bottle and walked back to the girl.

"Drink up."

The girl looked at me unsure, but after a few moments of me standing there with the bottle in my hands, she gave into her thirst. Wow could the chick freakin' chug!

The little dog thing lay at the girl's feet. It was silent this time, but I was well aware that its eyes were following my every move. I had to admit, the dog thing really weirded me out. After we allowed the girl out of the room I had asked her what specifically Xiao Mei was, she didn't answer.

As luck may have it, my wondering eyes spotted a notebook on the kitchen table. I eyed the notebook; a pencil had been pushed up its spiral binding. Hmm…

I snatched the notebook off the table; glad none of the soldiers took notice, and brought it back to my seat. Ross looked at me curiously as I pulled out the pencil and shoved the notebook and pencil into her hands.

"You said you saw alchemy arrays, I want you to draw them the best you can."

I felt it was a simple request, I mean, nothing too difficult. But Ross's eyes widened, almost as if she couldn't believe I would ask such a thing. "Edward, I know nothing about alchemy."

I sighed. "Just draw what you saw. Trust me, no strings attached."

Ross stared at the blank paper for a few minutes; I suppose trying to remember what she had seen.

The pencil suddenly began to scratch against the white paper; Ross began to etch out the shapes. She stayed silent for the time she drew. I personally sat patiently waiting, fiddling with my braid to help pass some time.

"Do you want me to draw both alchemy arrays? They were quite similar. I'll just draw one and explain the differences."

"Do what you want."

The eraser was then used and back to drawing. It took Ross about a good fifteen minutes to recall, draw, erase, draw, and finish. Once she was done she handed me the notebook. I searched for my reading glasses, finding them in my back pocket, and slipped them on.

My mouth fell slightly when I saw the finished product… I had never in my life seen anything like it. Never ever.

It was an alchemy array all right.

Shit.

The alchemy array wasn't as difficult as I had expected. There was an upside-down octagon. At every connecting point of the octagon there were five suns. Two circles surrounded the octagon, the circles also running through the points of the suns. Outside the alchemy array Ross had written 'Foreign language surrounds array which I could not decrypt.' Then, in the center of the array, sat something very familiar. It was a double-headed dragon. If I looked at just one of the dragons I saw the resemblance, it reminded me of the same dragon which had been on my State Alchemist watch.

The paper fell from my hands.

It couldn't be, could it? I mean, they didn't look exactly the same. Maybe I wasn't remembering my watch correctly, ha yea; it had been awhile since I last saw a State Alchemist watch. There was just no way, I mean, it couldn't be possible. Right?

How the hell could this be!

"Edward, are you alright?" Ross's voice was gentle.

I couldn't find the words to answer. Hell, maybe I was just thinking to deeply; maybe it was just pure coincidence that the watch King Bradley had issued matched a dragon found in an alchemy array drawn in a building that was found in some lost city and being guarded by Wrath. Ha, yea, coincidence.

"Edward, does this mean you understand the array?"

I looked at Ross, first confused by her question then understanding what she was asking. "No, I don't understand it at all. I had never seen anything like it in my entire life, but I am positive it's an alchemist's array. It's just alchemy arrays usually only consist of geometric shapes, not actual images of anything."

Ross frowned slightly. "I see, the other array had trees around it instead of suns, everything else was the same. The third one which was just being started had just the octagon drawn."

I simply didn't understand, I just didn't. Ok, so there were two arrays, and a third was on the way. What was the significance of a dragon, sun, and trees? I saw no tie.

Then a voice piped in, ruining my train of thought. I glared at the girl who spoke.

"Rentanjutsu."

The Xing girl stared at the floor. I followed her eyes; they landed on the fallen notebook.

"What did you say?"

"Retanjutsu! Alche-"

"Alchemy?"

Wait a second, the girl lived in Xing that was much closer to the lost city… hell, she was at the lost city when they found her! I picked up the notebook, hope and prayers flaring throughout me. I limped over to the girl, ignoring her dog things sudden growls.

"You can use alchemy, Ross told me. What is this? Do you understand this?" I pointed vigorously to the image on the paper. "Do you understand!"

The girl licked her lips. "Lung-mei."

…

……

Ok, maybe she wouldn't be as much help as I had hoped for. Ah shit, I was going to get no where! I didn't understand the Xingen language and as far as I could tell the girls English sucked. Great, just great. My one hope and I couldn't even understand her.

"Maybe I should just call it a night before I give myself an ulcer." I began to turn, ready to just collapse somewhere and silently complain to myself about everything that stunk in the world when the girl's hand suddenly shot out and grabbed my left arm.

"Lung-mei."

I looked down at her tiredly. "I don't know what Lung-mei is."

"Lung-mei, the dragon's pulse." Her English was clearer, much clearer then it had been before.

Well, maybe she might be of some help. I blinked a few times, looking at the girl. "The dragon's pulse?"

"It flows through the earth, the power of the world."

Well, I was on a roll. "What about the suns, do you understand those? And the trees?"

The girl's eyes went distant for a moment. She folded her arms over her chest, thinking deeply to herself. "…I don't know."

I knelt down in front of the girl. The dog thing didn't appreciate the movement, but didn't bite me either. "Why were you at the ancient city?"

The girl went silent for a few seconds, simply staring at me. I tried to make sure I was looking sincere.

"My father's son was given a permanent promise."

My eyes crossed for a moment, what the hell was she talking about?

The girl's eyes suddenly narrowed, almost dangerously. "I will destroy him."

…didn't sound like a very friendly family.

I sighed at the girl's cruel tone. Obviously something was going on with her… father's son? I suppose half brother then, something I probably wouldn't understand. And if you wanted me to be honest, I didn't really care about a family feud. All I cared about was the alchemy array.

I pointed towards the sun again, my fingers outlining the image. "So do you know anything about this image, anything at all?"

The girl sighed; she grabbed the notebook from my hands and stared at the work. "Legends, myths… Lung-mei I know. Sun means fire, tree means wood, all five will equal one, but it's just legend."

Sun means fire and tree means wood? All five will equal one? There were five suns, so did that mean it equaled one?

"Can you tell me this legend?"

The girl's eyes almost popped out of her head. "Too much!"

"Too much for me to ask for or too much English?"

"Too hard to explain. Wood, fire, earth, metal, water. Five will equal one. It is from a dead religion, Toa."

What the hell was Toa? Five will equal one, Lung-mei, religion, water, fire, earth, wood, metal? What the hell did this all have to do with alchemy!

I was curious if my head was going to fall off.

"I don't get it."

The girl's annoyed expression was rather frightening.

* * *

I had been given an extra blanket. I used my red jacket and the suitcase Roy had given me as my pillow. The beating sun seeped in through the tiny window, the heat of the morning atmosphere already getting unbearable. 

Ehh, I had slept in much worse, really, I had.

I rolled to my side, trying to get more comfortable, too bad auto-mail wasn't made for such a thing. My eyes were half lidded, I was in the stage that I really wasn't awake, but I could still think fairly clearly.

There was one question that heavily poked at me. What was I going to do with Wrath?

Wrath had left Izumi during the days I was stuck in Germany. No one really spoke about his leaving; no one brought the lost child up, minus my drunken night with Izumi.

Last time I had personally saw Wrath was during my final battle with Dante. Wrath had had my limbs torn off him by the gate, then he was left to die.

Would it be smart just to leave Wrath with Ross? It would be hassle free…

An exasperated sigh seeped out from my lips.

I needed to get my ass out of bed. There were so many questions I still had for the Xingen girl. I couldn't get anything else from the girl the past night. She claimed she was tired and just wanted to sleep. So, trying not to get on her bad side, I allowed her to go free.

But today was a new day, time for interrogation! Wahahahaha.

I yanked the blankets away from my body and sat up. I looked around the room searching for my pants.

The random loud whinny of a horse suddenly grabbed my attention. It was coming from outside. Hmm, I didn't know anyone had ridden in on horses. I thought Ross's unit had all come in on vehicles, weird.

I found my black boots, but still couldn't find my pants. I looked from side to side, nope, nowhere.

"First Lieutenant!"

I grumbled at the loud noises coming from outside. The room I had stayed in was near the front of the house, so I got to hear the outside life all morning. I was discovering that Ross's unit was filled with a bunch of loud-mouthed men, fun for her.

Where the hell were my pants? I pulled up the blankets that I had been laying on. No, they weren't there either. Hmm…

Wait a minute, oh yea!

I forgot, right before I went to bed I had decided to add more to my 'pillow'. I grabbed my red jacket, my pants fell right out of the rolled up ball. They fell right to the floor getting covered in dirt, nice.

"Hurry up, get out here!"

My God! People needed to shut up when others were trying to sleep. It was still early as hell; the only reason I was awake was because of the intense heat. I was positive other soldiers of Ross' unit were still asleep.

I started to pull my pants on. I got my human leg in, just had to get my auto-mail one. Because of the broken knee joint I literally had to pick my metal limb up and place it in. I got my jeans around my waste and zipped up when I heard a gun shot.

Huh?

My eyes flew open, startling me fully awake. I did hear correctly, right? Another shot just confirmed it.

My head quickly turned towards the small window of the room, peering out to the outside world. Well, I was right. Ross's unit hadn't come in on horses, but the lot of Xingen men did. And they were lining up in front of the building we were stayed in.

Holy-mofo-omg-what did I miss!

I swallowed hard as another gunshot rang out and one of the Xingen men fell from his horse, blood pouring out from his head.

My boots were on my feet in an instant. I didn't even bother to do anything else before I was out the bedroom door. I ran right into the living room area. The front door was already wide open which gave me a good view of what was going on outside. Amestris soldiers were standing in front of the house, their guns aimed. The Xing army stood across from them.

How did Xingen's even get to Ishbal, especially this far down west? No, no, I was supposed to be safe from war. I was too far out.

The Xingen were at least three times the size of Ross's unit. Hell, I would say even four or five times more! There were just way too many to count. They sat on their horses, swords high in the air, ready to fight.

No war. I didn't want to be part of this crap!

Ross by chance turned around, she saw me standing in the center of the room. "Edward, get out of here!"

I was tempted to laugh and ask her where I was supposed to go. But instead, I stood there, staring blankly at her.

Damn it, how, why, what!

I was sick of fighting, sick of laws, sick of life. I still had work to do at headquarters, now I had some stupid sanctuary to investigate, and on top of all of that, I still had Wrath to take care of! I did not need a group of Xingen men coming out of nowhere to try and attack us.

Fuck no.

Ok, first, there are times in my life I don't really think clearly and just do random things. Hey, it's what makes me, me.

A giant group of Xingen men… a dozen of Ross' soldiers to back me up. Were the odds really against me? I knew they were against Ross' unit alone, but against me? I mean, come on, I was the Fullmetal Alchemist, right?

Some questions are better left unanswered.

I looked Ross in the eyes. My words were quick. "This does not get passed down to Parliament."

I ignored the protest from my leg, ignored the sudden screams from Ross. I had made a quick decision, there was no turning back.

The image of Roy mysteriously popped into my head.

"And I knew you would have never killed her."

"You told me to kill her, directly you told me to follow your orders!"

"But you still never shot, you still saved the day."

My clap rang out as I ran right through the door, right past Ross, right through Ross' unit who were prepared to shoot, right into the center of all the commotion.

Ok, so I really was going crazy.

But hell, sometimes going crazy wasn't a bad thing.

I slid into the sandy ground, dirt flying all around me. My hands smacked onto the desert floor, the electricity of alchemy overflowed me. Calculations swarmed through my head, formulas, composition…

Suddenly the dust of the sandy floor flew forward, smashing into the men who were on their horses. The sand covered them; most men fell to the ground.

"Ross!"

I didn't need to say anymore, Ross read my mind. In an instant her soldiers ran forward, their guns aimed, already beginning to shoot.

I was never one into guns, well, unless absolutely necessary. Alchemy was my style.

The fallen Xingen were instantly on their feet. Their garbs were quite impressive, actually rather expensive looking. All the men wore what looked like silk, jewels dangling everywhere, gold strings making entwining patterns all over their getups; all their outfits were simply elaborate. Hell, if I didn't know any better I would say it was the royal army.

I was on my feet in an instant, ready to fight. I knew my damaged leg would be a handicap, but I would suffer with it.

A man suddenly came at me, his sword being held high in the air. I didn't even bother with him. I clapped my hands again and thrust them towards the ground. The earth surrounded the man, creating a cocoon around him.

Another man tried to hit me from the side, but I saw him early enough. I was sick of playing kids fights, I wanted a real one.

I did an aerial cartwheel that was a cartwheel with no hands; I didn't want to aggravate my shoulder anymore than I had to. Luckily, I landed solidly on my feet. I side kicked the man with my real foot. Before he had the chance to fall to the ground I grabbed the sword he had out from his grasp, I threw the blade to the side. I kicked him again as he fell onto his knees. One punch with my auto-mail hand and the man was out. He wasn't dead, but I knew he was going to wake up with one nasty headache.

I saw the next man's shadow in the dirt in front of me. I dove towards the side to avoid his blade from slicing right through me. A loud _thunk_ sound was made when the man's blade smacked dirt. My good leg swift kicked him causing him to fall over, my auto-mail leg instantly landed right between the man's legs, crushing his special area. I had never heard anyone cry like that before, ouch, not pretty.

I did a one handed back handspring when I saw another man quickly rushing towards me. I was still rather pleased when I landed solidly on the ground, my auto-mail leg was cooperating with me much more than I could ever ask for.

This man was quick with his blade. He swung it wildly, trying to nick me. My auto-mail arm was strong enough to take all the hits though; I blocked his hits when he struck to the left and then to the right. The man lifted the sword high above his head and I saw an open spot. I punched him right in the gut with my real hand, and then punched him in the chin with my auto-mail one, the clatter of teeth sounded out. I punched the man once more across the cheekbone before he fell towards the ground, most likely passed out.

Hey, I was doing pretty well.

Gunfire danced around me. I didn't know which side was winning or losing. Guns usually did overpower swords, but manpower could also over power the number of bullets. But really, at that moment I just didn't care, all I was aware of was the men who were coming right at me.

Three men now stood in front of me. The one in the center was almost as big as Armstrong, almost.

"Quit while you're ahead, kid."

I looked at the man stupidly. I had no bloody clue what he had said.

I did a back flip so I was far enough away from the men. In mid-air I had enough time to clap my hands together. As I landed on the ground, I went to my knees and thrust my hands forward. The dust that encircled them stunned all three men. I took the chance and ran forward and punched the man on the far left in the face. He was too distracted by the dust to even see what hit him.

One down, two more to go.

The big baboon man tried to grab me, but the sand that was around him constricted him from moving much. I went right past him and punched the man who was to his right. The man was out instantly since I used my auto-mail hand.

Yup, I wanted to save the big one for last.

I stared at him for a moment. I had defeated Armstrong once before with Al, this man was going to be a piece of cake. Preferably, chocolate cake with vanilla icing, just as long as it wasn't made by Winry.

I leaped forward, ready to tackle him…

His hand instantly broke through the sand, grabbing me around the throat.

Shit.

Armstrong and this man might have had the same stature, but there was something about this man that Armstrong lacked. Brute strength. Sure, Armstrong was strong, but he was more of an Alchemist then a wrestler.

I simply couldn't breathe. My hands grabbed onto the other man's, but it was no use. His hold was too tight, too strong. I was surprised he didn't break my neck. I was well aware he had the power to do so… no, I think he was trying to make me suffer.

I began to see stars as the lack of oxygen was taking its affect. My mouth moved in desperation to try and capture air or anything really, but nothing was going down my throat. I tried to kick the man, but he held me too far away from his form to do so. I was about to clap my hands and use alchemy, but he saw the movement and used his other hand to hold my wrists.

Just… couldn't…breath.

"…A..l…"

The earth beneath us suddenly shuddered. Was it an earthquake? No, earthquakes were rare around these parts. What the hell?

The bigger man lost his balance as the ground beneath him began to split apart. His hold on me suddenly loosened, allowing me to breath. I was dropped carelessly to the ground; the world was vibrating dangerously around me. The shudders did nothing to help me as I tried to wheeze air back into my system. Coughs consumed my form, my hands were lightly wrapped around my throat to try and help oxygen just to get in.

The sounds of screams filled the air as I felt the earth shift then fully break apart. A big gaping hole extended out towards the side of me. I had no control of my body as it began to roll towards the cliff that was created.

I saw spots as my lower body began to fall down the blackness, but before I was full over the edge, two strong, but very thin, hands grabbed onto my shoulders, digging into my wound.

A shrill scream tore its way from my throat as I felt the pain. Heck, was my shoulder ever going to get a break? At the rate I was going it was never going to heal!

In one big pull, I was yanked from the edge and fell right into someone's arms. I looked up…

It was Ross.

I blinked a few times, trying to take in everything around me. The earth was split in two right by our feet, Amestris' soldiers on one side and Xingen's on the other.

My words were hoarse. "What…what is this?"

Call me crazy, but I did find it a little peculiar that a big gapping hole suddenly came out of nowhere and now stretched across the desert-like lands.

My eyes followed along the crack in the earth, leading me directly towards the front door of the building we had been occupying. An alchemy array had been drawn onto the ground; the alchemist removed their hands from the ground and stood straight.

The young Xingen woman and her dog thing stood there. She smirked as she saw me looking at her. Her braided hair blew slightly with the morning wind; she pushed a few stands back, her eyes never leaving my own.

What happened next just made the world tilt slightly, tilt from utter confusion.

The Xingen soldiers all bowed when they saw the Xingen girl.

Now, that just seemed a little odd. Ha, ok, very odd.

As if she was someone special or whatever, the young woman took a few steps from the building like a queen would, each step carrying a light bounce. She walked along the Xingen side. She spoke to the Xingen warriors, her words were all foreign; every single Xingen man seemed to listen to her intently.

My mouth fell open, this wasn't right. I knew for a fact females were usually suppressed in Xingen culture, it was mentioned a few times in their alchemy books. That was why originally I found it so shocking that the girl knew alchemy. Females in Xing weren't supposed to know alchemy...

Who was she?

The girl turned and looked at me, those slanted eyes sparkling slightly.

"I must go now Edward Elric."

My voice was still hoarse as I spoke. "Wait, you can't!" I still had questions.

"I told you what you wanted! I told you everything, you now let me go. Equal trade, right? I don't want more fighting."

All the Xingen warriors stood. They began to collect their horses, the dead Xingen stayed on the ground, the injured were helped by others. Xingen's were known for their medical alchemy, I watched with my own two eyes as some men were healed instantly.

"I saved your life, you, in exchange, stop Ling!"

I blinked a few times. Had she really saved my life? By golly, she really had. But still…

"I'm not done yet!" I stood up, suddenly being pumped with energy. I stood dangerously close to the cliff.

I could hear Ross behind me. "Edward, be careful."

I ignored Ross and kept focus on the girl. The girl couldn't leave, just not yet!

The said girl was helped to a horse; she climbed up and sat down on the saddle. Her dog thing was placed behind her. Her eyes never left mine, those piercing black eyes staring straight at me.

The other Xingen soldiers jumped onto their own horses, straddling the animals.

"Dragon is the pulsing power, five elements creating the unity of one is the answer."

I just didn't understand.

"It's Mei-chan."

She pulled on her horse's rains. As they road away I heard her say one last thing.

"My name is Mei-chan!"

* * *

Ross' unit had suffered no losses, but one man did have his arm cut off and three others got cut up pretty badly. 

I threw my red jacket into the silver suitcase.

"You really think she is?"

The locks of the suitcase clicked telling me it was closed. "Ling Yoa is the empire of Xing. She said for me to 'stop Ling'. That family is huge; it's very possible that she's one of the daughters of the late deceased king. Also, if you think about it, she was wearing attire fit for the higher class. She was also extremely well educated for a Xing woman, and also she had a whole squad of men coming all the way to Solace just to save her ass… I do think that's enough to support my theory."

Ross sat on the floor of the room. Her unit was busy packing and loading, it was the last private moment she and I were going to have.

"If only I would have known, maybe we could have used her to stop this war."

I sighed, taking a seat on the sandy ground myself. "I don't know much about Xing, only stuff I have read in alchemy texts, I do know though that the recently deceased king had a 'lover' from every clan that made up the Xing people. Taking that into consideration, his direct descendents might even reach the hundreds. I highly doubt Mei-chan would have deterred any type of war-ending negotiations. Ling most likely barely knows this half sister of his, so it wouldn't matter. Besides, we're the ones who pushed war, not Xing itself."

"They encouraged it."

I wanted to argue that, but I knew I couldn't. They did encourage it. From chilling in the Great Desert to attacking Rizenpool they had done nothing but nudged us to start a war.

I sighed, I knew what I was about to say next was going to surprise Ross. Heck, it surprised me that I would ever decide on such a thing, but I had my reasons.

"Ross, once you get your men patched up I need you to go back to these ruins you found." I took a deep breath, what I was about to say next was actually hard. "Take dynamite with you guys, just blow up that sanctuary." I was asking her to destroy precious alchemy arrays, but it was necessary.

"Wha-what?"

"I'm not joking. Blow the building up; make it nothing more than desert dust. I know I'm not directly above so I can't force you to do it, but I beg you." If Wrath had been guarding the building then I had a feeling the building would cause me nothing but trouble. It was simply better to destroy it then to wait and see what happens.

Ross seemed unsure by the request, but she nodded anyways. "Once I do my check in I'll take some men and we will do it. Are you sure about this?"

For some reason I felt like I had never been so sure in my life, I nodded for a response.

My hand wrapped around the handle of the silver suitcase. I picked it up, forcing myself to stand. Ross followed suit. I didn't speak to her as I turned on my heels, leaving the room. She simply followed me out of the room and followed me down the hall I walked down; she stopped at the door I had stopped at. She didn't ask any questions as I pushed the wooden door open.

The drugged up boy lay on the floor, he seemed asleep, at least I hoped he was. The air held a stench to it, for some reason I had the feeling I didn't want to ask what the mystifying aroma was.

"Wrath, he's coming with me."

I had actually expected Ross to question me, but she did nothing. She simply stayed silent as she stood next to me and looked at the chained up boy on the floor. Well, at least she wouldn't put up a fight.

We stood like that for a few moments, both of us just looking forward, hearing the soldiers outside making themselves busy. Ross finally cleared her throat causing me to look over at her.

"Edward, I left something out about the sanctuary."

I lifted an eyebrow. "What didn't you tell me?"

Ross didn't look at me, her eyes remained on Wrath. "There was a balcony being built that stretched around the room, near the ceiling."

I turned my body towards Ross, but she still refused to even give me a glance. She folded her arms over her chest, an almost darkened look on her face.

"You might not believe what I'm about to tell you, none of the other soldiers will. I had questioned them about it, but they all claimed they never saw whoever it was I saw."

She finally looked at me.

"I thought I saw someone in the shadows on the balcony. Edward, they looked directly at me… their eyes seemed dead."

* * *

**Let me explain some things!**

No people, pretty much everything I said in this chap did not spontaneously pop out of my butt! Now, I am taking a lot of true facts from Chinese history/religion and mixing it with the manga. Let me explain:

**Rentanjutsu- **Alchemy

**Ling-mei-** this was in chapter 48 of the manga. Mei-chan talks about it when healing scar. The pulse of the dragon pulses through the earth.

**Lost city/sanctuary-** Manga baby. Ok, remember in the manga when Ross was taken over to Xing to be put in hiding? Well, Ed met up with her in a place called Khshayarsha (Xerxes). That, my friends, is my lost city. Also, if you remember to that timing in the manga (40-41) Edward ran off and was looking at a strange alchemy array that was broken so he couldn't really decrypt. That is the sanctuary place I am talking about!

**Toasim/Five elements-** Now, I won't be speaking about this stuff right now, but I assure you these things actually exist. If you are someone who knows anything about Chinese mythology or the history of Alchemy you should have an idea of what I am talking about. If not, then everything will be explained with due time.

**Is the sanctuary from the manga really connected to the five elements?**

Argh, I am hoping its not. I kind of made this part up considering the sanctuary had five suns and sun can be seen as fire. So, hopefully this fic will not be a spoiler for the future of the manga.

**

* * *

**

**Han-chan Omake! Ok, maybe not really an Omake…more like Han-Gomp special chat.**

Guest20827> Welcome Readers! Welcome to the first ever behind the scenes omake!

Han-chan> So Gomp how is the stress level on your end only hours from deadline?

Gomp> Lol, are you recording this?

Han-chan> this IS the omake

Gomp> XD!

Han-chan> 'is lazy and uncreative'

Gomp> I think this is very creative, anywaysssss; my stress level is rising, got so much to dooo

Gomp> so, did u like the chap? Or u think it was not so great

Han-chan> well considering I had to redo the damn thing because word is a fudger bitch...my opinion is not reliable

Gomp> lol understandable

Han-chan> What word did I BAN you from using last week?

Gomp> Oh no, did I use which again in the fic? Man, I thought I was good this time

Han-chan> exclusively, not ONCE did you use 'that'

Han-chan> ohh and only one ... He, the majority was ...he

Han-chan> so congrats!

Gomp> lol Im getting better, slowly I think

Han-chan> yes, soon you won't need me TT

Gomp> naa, ill still use u and abuse u

Han-chan> lol, yesss, you and word. Between you two there will be no end

Han-chan> Oh! A shout out to Geraniums and some other person 'goes to look at reviews'

Gomp> yea, got a lot of reviews from people about the omakes!

Han-chan> oohh more this time?

Gomp> yea, we got a couple

Han-chan> well we are going to give individual shout outs

Han-chan> I love them they make me glow

Gomp> lol

Han-chan> And Tami a shout out to you too for being the first to notice the omake!

Han-chan> lady elithraniel, supposedly I know you...

Han-chan> I HAVE A STALKER! YAY!

Gomp> XD!

Gomp> u excited about japan?

Han-chan> Yes I am, I guess we will use this time to announce the news?

Gomp> yesh we will

Han-chan> Well I will be gone for a month in Japan, Soooo

Han-chan> HELD IS OFFICALLY ON A 1 MONTH HIATUS

Gomp> the horror!

Han-chan> Now during your 1 month leave you need to work on pluralizing Aremetris it is aremetris' not aremetris; you just keep on forgetting the apostrophe. And for the plural of ross it is ross' not ross's

Gomp> Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, hold on I'm making notes of this

Han-chan> ok

Han-chan ok 

Gomp> ok

Gomp> u didn't know Gomp was part of my last name?

Han-chan> ers, no no offense but that is a freakishly odd but seriously cool name

Gomp> Lol that's weird, almost everyone calls me by my last name instead of Kathy. Its weird not having people know that.

Han-chan> Any of you whom know irc won't be able to tell but Gomp is an op atm. She could kick my ass off this channel if she knew the syntax for the command...which I won't tell her

Gomp> ...that's not nice

Han-chan> that's how I have fun on weekends kicking people off mah channel

Gomp> XD, that's so mean!

Han-chan> Keeee, most have auto rejoin scripts

Gomp> I need to learn more about irc

Han-chan> yes you do

Han-chan> soo... do you want to give hints and wicked tidbits to the readers?

Gomp> about Held's future?

Han-chan> yes

Gomp> ...no XD

Han-chan> spoil sport

Gomp…thing…

No Winry and Al love again? WTF! Part Two!

**o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o**

"Al, are you ok?"

Al turned to Winry; his eyes were partially sunken into his skull. "It-it wasn't meatloaf."

Winry sat by Al's bed, trying to comfort the poor lad. "No dear, it wasn't. It was ice cream."

"I don't think I can go on with this life anymore." He began to cough violently, his head sank more into the pillow, his breathing was weakening.

Winry just held his hand; she wasn't sure how to handle this. "Well, at least it tasted good, you said so yourself."

"But that was when I thought it was still meatloaf."

What was she to do? Winry sniffed a few times, confused by what was going on. "Al, you will make it through, don't give up! I'll make you meatloaf for real!"

And then he died.

**o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o**

**

* * *

Important Announcement! **

This fic is taking a small break. Han-chan is going to Japan for a month and Gomp has some other obligations she must attend to. I apologize that you all must wait for the next chapter, but I assure you this fic is not dead! Trust me; I am not ditching this baby since I got this far with it. How long will Gomp be gone for? Well, the plan is for a month, but, I can't really confirm that. It is very possible that it will actually be less than a month; we will all have to wait and see. I can just assure you that it won't be more than a month.

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Authors Note:

First off: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAN-CHAN!

Ok, I have been told and have previously presumed that I am losing some edge with this fic (it's becoming boring). Part of the reason I am taking a break from Held is because I want to collect some more originality for this fic. I know this fic is very long and has a crap load of information to take in, but when I committed myself to this fic, I committed myself to the reality of it. There will be dry spells with this fic and there will be fun parts with it. I promise you on my break I will be working on canceling out these dry spells and having this fic a constant thrill ride. Well, at least I hope I can achieve that. I will be finishing my editing of the previous chapters and also on my break I am doing a collaboration fic with Saturn Stars (I am excited about this one XD). Anyways, I truly must thank everyone who has kept committed to this fic. Your support has kept me going and it will help continue this fic. Please, keep tuned in to the future of Held.

And, my comments on this chapter! Ok, big plot advancer. We now have Wrath in the picture, a lost city, Chinese mythology, and some hidden figure in the shadows at the sanctuary. Oh my, what could this all lead to? XD! I had fun writing this chapter!

Big thanks to my beta Han-chan and to my critic Egypt. Thanks you guys!

**Han-chan's note:** NOTE TO READERS: IT IS MY FAULT THIS CHAPTER IS SO DAMN LATE! GOMEN NASAI! TT damn word

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Questions you may have…

1. Who is Mei-chan and Xaoi-mei?

If you don't know this then please read the manga! Mei-chan is the little girl who fantasizes about meeting Edward and is also trying to find the philosopher stone. Xaoi-mei is her kick ass panda that she carries around.

2. Xaoi-mei, why is he so small?

I am well aware that Xiao Mei is a panda. And panda's by his age would be much larger, well at least larger than a dog. Well, my theory…. Xiao Mei was a runt of the litter. And that ends that.

3. Mei-chan's English sucks! Why?

The original version of this chapter I had Mei-chan barely able to say anything! Well, I reconsidered and made her English just slightly suck. I know in the manga she spoke English rather well, but I figure this is my story and it doesn't follow everything, so yea, I made her English suck.

4. Are you making half this stuff up about Toa, five elements, and so on?

I answered this already, but no, I am not. Most of this stuff I learned in college. I won't go into grave detail about this information until later in the fic, so hold on to your panties.

5. Who were the Xing guys that came for Mei-chan?

Err, the royal army XD!

* * *

**MarshmellowDragon-** It was just Ed who went to Ishbal. Of course Ed didn't go to fight XD I wasn't that mean. Yea, I didn't want to leave Klaus or Ed on bad terms, so she apologized. Even though Klaus is a lil' weird she can be a nice person. Well, thanks for the review! Enjoy America! 

**Kwala-** Hey, I'm glad you replied to my email! I sent you another one. The reason Riza was so kind to Ed was really, you can't judge someone unless you know the full truth. She wasn't pleased with Ed, but Riza knows better than to jump to conclusions (unlike Ed). Havoc I always took the guy as laid back. Don't forget both Havoc and Riza have known Ed most of his teen years, they have both known the tension between Ed and Roy. Now, if Ed actually would have shot Roy that would have been a different story all together. You commented on how you couldn't believe Ed would raise a gun to Roy. Ok, my theory is if you look at Ed the kid has been pushed around for how long. I would think he would be sick and tired and just waiting to snap. Ed was just lost in the moment, upset, and wasn't thinking straight. You can do dumb things when in a mental state like that. Lol, I'll fix your name for you. Thanks for the review and I hope we can get to know each other more!

**Rogue-Amnesti-** Wahaha! Yea they let Ed go; Ed just had to do Roy's dirty work once more. A lot of people seemed to laugh at the Roy/Ed fight scene. I had a lot of fun writing it, next time I should have them fight in the mud topless. Ok, maybe I won't do that. Anyways, thanks for the review!

**Sorceress-Fox-** Long time since I last heard from you! Al should be back in the story soon. Thanks for the review!

**MusicalRileyChan-** You said glomp XD! I love that word! I'm happy you enjoyed the chapter; it was a fun one to write. Thanks for the review!

**Katratzi-**Ed's a lucky lil' man when it comes to getting away with Alchemy. Ed and Roy are good friends, just filled with a lot of misunderstandings. You gotta really talk things out with people if you want to understand more, in my opinion. I'm happy you found the last chap exciting; hopefully this one was just as fun for you. Well, thanks for the review!

**Geraniums-** Ack, I hate laundry. I'm one of those girls that can't do anything around the house. Like, I mess up cooking, mess up laundry, heck, I even mess up cleaning. I don't know how my family puts up with me XD! Well, I'm glad you liked the chap! Thanks for the review.

**Tami-** Archery practice! That's awesome. As a kid I used to do a lot of shooting and some archery. My dad was really into all that stuff, we used to have a shooting rang in our basement and such. Really, you think I update fast? When I was still in college I used to update like once every few days. Just with work and stuff I have been slowing down to about every 10 days. Lol, I'm so happy you seem to be really liking my fic. I really do enjoy the fact that others like my fic; it's a pretty cool feeling when I get positive responses about my chapters. Heck, reviews help me stay true to the fic. Well, thank you so much for your wonderful review! I always enjoy reading what you have to say!

**Lady Elithraniel-** You know Han-chan! XD! Iheart my beta, she's such an awesome person. Too bad she's going to Japan for a month; I really hope she has a fantastic time. Yea, I had to put Ishbal in here at some point. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you or anything; Ishbal was more like a meeting place then an actual plot twist. Well, thanks for your review!

**No one's friend-** I actually am very much into political story's even though I hate politics in real life (strange, I know). Your comment on the Ed and Roy scene with the two staring at each other, I am pretty positive if my beta would have read that she would have made an omake about it. But, I don't believe she got the final draft of that chap. I re-wrote a lot of it before I posted it. I know Ed and Roy do sound Yoai sometimes (which I am not against fic's like that either) but it's not that way at all. I'll explain why later in the fic. Well thanks so much for the review!


	19. Red Insanity

I wonder what the currency is in FMA. Well, maybe if I discovered the specific currency then I could bribe Ed into giving me the rights to the series. But till then, I will be a lonely fan girl.

* * *

Held

By Gomp

How do you explain a drugged up homunculus that was practically totally immobile to a ticket man? Well, you better be damn creative that's for sure.

It turned out that Wrath was now a cousin of mine and had been feeling rather ill so I was allowing him to sleep. If it wasn't for the blanket that I had wrapped around the boy I'm sure I would have had one hell of a time explaining the handcuffs. But the excuse of his illness worked rather well.

Wrath now lay on the seat across from me. I had given him back his auto-mail limbs that Ross's unit had disconnected before. Winry had once told me that she had given the child the auto-mail that had been meant for me years ago. The auto-mail he had was impressive, but the limbs I bore now were even more incredible. Ha ha.

I had requested a private cabin; it was better safe than sorry. The cabin was quite small, but enough to fit two comfortably. I smiled in the memories of Al and me when we used to try to fit into the tiny cabins. A man of large steel was a never comfortable associate in close proximities.

Wrath had his mouth wide open, a little bit of drool was dribbling its way down his front. There was enough tranquilizer in the kid to take down an animal the size of a house, and then some. Wrath wasn't a normal boy after all. Oh no, not normal at all. But I was just grateful the kid was asleep, not annoying me.

I looked out the window watching as the trees and farmland flew by. It would take us approximately 12 hours and 32 minutes till we reached our destination. I just prayed I was doing the right thing.

* * *

Dead eyes. That was all she could tell me.

How did everything relate? A sanctuary in the middle of the desert, Wrath, a religion called Taoism, which I frankly had never heard of, five elements? A dragon's heart…?

It sounded like some cracked-out weirdo decided to have fun and games and came up with some elaborate fairytale to screw with little children. Too bad it wasn't a fairytale. Instead, it was another mystery to waste more of my precious life on.

I curled onto my side more. Train seats were never the best place to sleep, but sometimes you just had to compromise. That caused me to grumble in displeasure.

"Heh."

My eyes automatically shot open. I turned my head sharply to look behind me. It was dark. The only light being provided was the moon seeping in through the window of the cabin. Every now and then we would pass by a tree that would cause a shadow to block the moonlight.

Wrath stared at me, not even blinking.

We watched each other for a few moments. His smile seemed almost twisted as he looked at me. His hair was messy and his face had spots of dirt all over it. Talk about a face I wanted to wake up to.

"Edward, you seem finally free." His words were mixed with manic giggles.

I wasn't really sure what to say to that. I simply sat up and tried to remain calm. I had thought the drugs would have lasted longer than they did. In the silver suitcase I was carrying a set of needles with tranquilizer ready to go. All I had to do was inject Wrath with one and hopefully he would be out like a light. But there were two tiny problems. First, Wrath was like an animal it seemed, his eyes were looking at me a little too crazy. Second, man… I really hated needles.

Wrath continued to speak "You're awake." He kept giggling like the true psycho he was. Ha, well wasn't that just a sweet tune to my ears. Right.

"You are supposed to be asleep." I said, keeping my voice rather calm. Go me.

Wrath rolled his eyes a few times. He seemed to be getting some unknown humor out of all of this. "Heh, heh, heh. Edward. Come play." Play with Wrath? Well, we all know how much I would just love to do that.

Last time I had left Wrath, that was around four years ago, he was defiantly saner than he was now, and that was saying a lot.

"Wrath what happened to you?" It was a dumb question, but at the same time a rather good one. I already knew he wasn't going to answer, but hey, a man could try.

His reply was a fit of giggles. His eyes began to dart around the room as if he saw something that wasn't really there. In one quick motion Wrath tried to stand up, well, more like jump up, but much to his displeasure he quickly discovered I had cuffed him to the seat. He frowned at the cuffs.

"No trust? Edward doesn't trust me?"

That was a joke and a half. I offered him a small smile and a shake of the head.

"Heh." Was his only response. He began to jiggle the cuffs like a curious child would. He observed the steel then licked it with curiosity. His teeth clanked on the metal as he gave it his best shot to chew on it.

Surprisingly, I wasn't very scared or intimidated by Wrath. I mean, he wasn't exactly on my good side, but I knew that something wasn't right with him. Wrath was always bad, but not this bad.

His eyes held a haunted gleam to them from the moonlight. When he realized he couldn't chew through the cuffs he sat back up and grinned at me. He then licked his lips a few times and began to chew on the lower one. I noticed a few of his teeth were chipped. When he bit on his lip a sharp point of one of his teeth nipped the skin and caused tiny specs of blood to form. He seemed to enjoy himself as he licked the blood away…gross.

I opened the silver suitcase that I had been using as a pillow again. Inside sat a small case, which inside held the syringes. "Sooner or later we are going to have to talk." I pulled out one of the needles and taped the glass part a few times. I tested the needle. A stream of the tranquilizer squirted from the head.

I grabbed onto one of Wraths bound arms and tied a piece of cloth to make a tourniquet. I then proceeded to tap a vein of his a few times.

Argh, needles were such a crime against humanity. I swallowed hard and did something rather unprofessional.

I closed my eyes damn tight as I leaned forward and stuck the needle in Wraths arm. Hey, I just couldn't handle the sight. It was only a matter of time before Wrath's eyes rolled to the back of his head and small snores emerged from his mouth.

* * *

It was early in the morning, and I'm talking like the sun just creeping over the horizon early, when a light knock rang from the door. I was tired and cranky when I replied to it. "Go the hell away!"

The person on the other side of the door seemed to hesitate for a moment, but knocked again. "Sir, it's your wake up call. The train well be arriving to your destination with in the hour."

I forced my eyes to creep open. Wrath lay limply across the seat. His arms were above his head because of the restriction of the handcuffs. I groaned as I tried to force myself to sit up, my back felt very stiff.

The person, which I decided was a female, knocked again. "Sir, are you awake? I have coffee."

She didn't need to say more. In an instant I flipped the door wide open, about to greet the person and ask her to share the love, but, when I got a good look at her my mouth fell open. Her mouth did the same in return.

That face… it-it was Nixie! Nixie was a girl I used to work with in the library back in Germany. That seemed almost like a lifetime ago. I frowned. I knew our two worlds were alike, but never in my lifetime had I expected to actually meet someone I had known from Germany.

Sure I recognized her, that explained why I was so shocked when I saw her, but I became slightly confused to why her mouth hung open in shock as well.

"You-you're Edward Elric! I heard rumors that you were on the train, but didn't believe them!"

…well shit.

"Yea, you could say that."

She looked like she was about to burst. Her body began to shake; her face became one big smile. Man, this chick defiantly wasn't Nixie. Nixie was better reserved.

"Can I shake your hand, please!" I stared at her not exactly sure what to say. I was cautious as I held my hand out. I wasn't really sure what to expect. Both her hands grabbed my auto-mail and began to shake it roughly.

"What an honor this is!" What an honor, my ass.

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks. So, about that coffee-"

"I heard about what you did for the people in Central. It's been all over the news! You're such a good Samaritan Mr. Elric. Truly, this is such a big honor!"

I was tempted to groan. "I just did what had to be done." I knew the world did not know about the events that happened between Roy and me. No one saw it because of the massive wall I had created. Trust me; it was much better that way.

"Can I have your autograph? Please!" She actually battered her eyelashes at me. What a scary sight.

I had to look away for a second; the girl was leaning in awfully close. I offered her a weak smile. "Uhh, sure, I suppose."

She practically squealed as she began to dig through her pockets in search of a pen. I watched the girl slightly memorized. This was nothing like Nixie, nothing at all. I was positive they were the same in facial features, but man… nothing alike mentally.

A pen and a piece of paper were suddenly shoved in my face. "Thank you so much!"

I quickly signed my name and handed her the paper in hopes to get her to back away.

"Thank you!" With that she trotted away with her cart of food.

…the cart that also had the coffee on it.

I would have yelled for her to come back, but for some reason, I didn't think the coffee was worth it.

* * *

After the freakish Nixie escapade, I decided to be safe and wore my red hood over my face.

Let me tell you one thing, it's a rather difficult task carrying around a teenage boy while you had a jacked up auto-mail leg. I got a few strange stares, but there was no other choice in the matter. I had given Wrath a little bit more tranquilizer before we got off the train so he was out like a rock.

I honestly was breaking many, and I mean many, laws for what I was doing. You know… I was taking a murderer of a military officer from the depths of the Great Desert onto Amestris soil. Also, just to add some flavor to everything, the murder was a homunculus… something totally against the laws of nature. Right. But, I was doing what I thought was best.

I had found a cab sitting outside the train station. The driver was a heavy-set man. He was beginning to gray and was missing many of his teeth. His remaining teeth were a nasty yellow color as he smiled and asked me where we wanted to go.

As the cab drove us to our destination I allowed Wrath to lean heavily on me. I looked over at the boy, looking at how he had aged over the past four years. What had happened to him? That was the question that mostly nagged at me.

His greasy hair fell over part of his face, his mouth hung wide open. I was tempted to push aside the hair that covered most of his features, but held back. I had a feeling he wouldn't appreciate me touching him more than I already had to.

The cab stopped. I paid my money and stepped out of the vehicle. I held Wrath with one hand, my silver suitcase in the other. I had really wanted to look in some type of dignified manner when I knocked on the door, but at the rate I was going, I was pretty sure it wasn't going to happen that way.

I swallowed loudly as I looked at the place I stood in front of. The house was made of a white type stone; the roof had blood red shingles on it.

"Edward, I'm not really sure this is the smartest idea you have come up with." I mumbled to myself.

Where I stood was actually the back of the house. The front was a butcher shop, the best in Dublis. Oh yes, also owned by one of the greatest alchemists of our time, at least in my opinion.

I eyed the limp boy in my arm. "Wrath, either I'm making a grave mistake with you or making the best choice." I was returning Wrath to his proper place, and honestly, I wasn't sure why. He was Izumi's child even if he had once died. If I took him back to the military he most likely would become a guinea pig. I didn't trust the Parliament, not at all. Other than that there was no other place for him to go. Ross promised she would keep her mouth shut about him. This was where Wrath belonged, I supposed.

I threw Wrath's legs into my other hand. He was too hard to carry with just one. My steps held an obvious limp to them. The sand and heat of the desert did nothing to help my auto-mail problems.

When I finally approached the door, I looked at it nervously for awhile. After much convincing I finally got my hand to raise, ready to knock.

But the world suddenly turned dark, light disappeared all around me. Wait…that wasn't right. I turned around cautiously only to come face to face with a massive belly.

"Edward?"

Heh. Well, I guess I didn't have to knock. "Hello Mr. Curtis."

Izumi's husband, Sig, stood above me. His arms were crossed as he looked down. He reminded me of a tower. I had to swallow a few times to try and get my throat cleared. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

It didn't take long for the man to notice the limp boy in my arms and it took even a shorter amount of time for him to recognize who the child was. His eyes suddenly opened wide. "Edward?" He practically breathed.

I did my best to keep my cool. "I should really lay him down. Can you please let me in?"

* * *

Sig and I did not speak much. I mean really, what could be said?

There were plenty of spare room's in the house. I picked the room that Izumi had placed Wrath in the last time I was there. I knew Izumi wouldn't appreciate it, but I still cuffed Wrath to the bed.

I was surprised to find Izumi wasn't present in the house at the moment. I would have asked her husband where she was, but he was too entranced by the returning of his son. I decided not to push my luck.

After I got Wrath settled in the bed I pulled up a wooden seat towards the bed and just sat down. There was really nothing else to do. Sig stood by the doorway. His arms were crossed and his eyes stayed glued towards the bed.

It was probably a half hour into my visit when Izumi's husband finally spoke. "You're hurt."

It took me awhile to figure out what he was talking about. I offered him a weak smile. "It's my auto-mail; I kind of screwed it up."

That was all we said in a time span that seemed much too long. I didn't feel uncomfortable with Sig, but I just wished he was more verbal. Sometimes I needed to hear people speak to help fill the silence.

My eyes began to feel rather heavy after so much time passed. I knew I could have just got up and left to return to Central, but I needed to talk to Izumi before I did so. I mean, come on, her son was a total raging maniac (not saying that was something totally new) and I had to explain why I stuck drugs in the kid.

I began to slump slightly in the chair and sleep began to burn behind my eyelids when I heard a door open and close. I heard a few voices pipe in, but they were too far away into the house that I couldn't really make them out.

Sig's suddenly booming voice caused me to jump in my chair from surprise. "Izumi, you are needed!"

All the voices went silent. It took a few seconds till I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. It was then that I began to really get nervous. I wasn't exactly sure how Izumi would respond to my presence and the gifts I bared.

I heard Izumi rather than saw her. "Yes dear, is something-" Her face popped into the doorway. She looked directly at me. "-wrong?" Then her eyes turned towards the bed.

For a moment my heart stopped thumping. I suddenly became rather conscious of Wrath's position. His arms were pulled high above his head chained to the pole on the side of the bed. His hair was a mess, his face dirty. His lips were dried and cracked. It was then I noticed truly how skinny he was, how pale his skin was against the royal blue bed sheets. He was in such a deep sleep he almost looked dead. Great.

My eyes turned back to look at Izumi. Her hand was cupped over her mouth while her eyes were wide open. I could see haunting memories of a past eating her away. Shit.

Blood suddenly began to pour from her mouth. She began to cough sharply. It sounded like she was about to choke.

I was on my feet in an instant, the chair scrapped harshly against the wooden floor. I limped my way towards her side as quickly as I could. "Are you ok?"

In one quick swoop Izumi's husband picked her up and ran out of the room. I watched as his back disappeared down the hallway. By then I had been so used to Izumi's fits that it wasn't much of a shocker. I sighed. Crap, I didn't go there to get her all worked up, but could I truly expect any less? I shook my head at that.

I turned back to the room and looked at the puddle of blood on the floor. It needed to be cleaned up before it stained the wooden panel. My eyes searched the room looking for something to wipe up her mess when a gasp came from behind me. I swung around.

"Edward?"

Al, Winry, and Granny stood in the doorway. All three stared wide-eyed at me.

I counted the days in my head from the last time I had talked to Winry. Holy cows, I had completely forgotten the three were supposed to arrive that day. Most likely they had just gotten there…

Exhaustion finally became very apparent. I felt so tired. So very, very, tired.

The surprises just never stopped.

"Uhh, hey."

* * *

I thought you were supposed to feel comfortable around your family. Why did mine make me feel on edge?

I placed my head into my folded arms.

"Edward! I thought you would be more responsible then that!"

I sighed as I eyed my rolled up pant leg revealing my damaged auto-mail leg. On the steel there were a fair amount of scraps and scratches. It made the damaged leg look in much worse condition then it truly was. I knew my auto-mail arm was just as badly scratched, but I didn't feel compelled enough to tell Winry that. "It was an accident."

"And how long has it been damaged like this?" She smacked the steel plate that covered my kneecap with her knuckles. It gave a 'ding' noise.

I gave Winry an innocent smile.

Winry suddenly threw her arms in the air while shaking her head. "I don't want to know, just don't want to know. I will have to fix it later tonight once I have my tools unloaded." She crossed her arms with a very annoyed expression plastered on her face. She then turned away from me and sat down on the couch across from me.

The pipe Granny had been puffing away at suddenly left her lips as she spoke. "You have been quite the busy boy it seems."

I eyed Granny. Obviously she had kept up with the country's news. I was pretty sure all three were well aware of recent developments that included my participation. So, I was pretty sure I didn't need to question her on what she was referring to. "Yeah, I guess so." I couldn't think of anything better to say.

Alphonse had silently sat on the end of the couch the whole time. I looked over at him to find him looking at me. That small angelic face offered me a small smile. I returned one. It had felt like a lifetime since I last saw him even though it had simply been a few weeks. Man, I truly had missed him.

A cough from behind caused me to turn. I looked up at the bulky man who stood behind me. Izumi's husband's dark eyes stared down at me. "You are wanted."

* * *

I sat in a wooden chair that sat by Izumi's bed. Izumi's husband stood by the door, I suppose to guard it.

Sig's voice was deep as he spoke. "What do you think happened to him?"

"I just don't know. He has been gone for a long time, anything is possible." And that was the truth.

Izumi's raspy voice grabbed my attention. "I want him un-cuffed." I wasn't very surprised by what Izumi said, just a little frustrated. I had told them both everything I knew. I had explained rather thoroughly that Wrath was in no condition to be un-cuffed. But did anyone listen? Of course not.

"I don't know if that's a good idea. At least not till I know what's going on."

Izumi's glare could have burned holes into most people's head, but I met her heated gaze calmly. "Now! Edward, he is my son." Her last statement actually sounded sort of desperate.

I took a deep breath, not exactly sure if what I was about to say was a smart thing. "And I am the law. No." Never in my life had I ever truly used my legal position in a manner such as that. But, I just knew deep down it wouldn't be smart to allow Wrath free. Wrath had killed… I didn't need him killing again.

A cold silence fell amongst the room.

Izumi's hands were suddenly balled up into tight fists. I could see her wanting to get up and punch me in the face. I was tempted to flinch.

I gave a deep heavy sigh before I spoke. "I brought him back because he is your son. He had killed that soldier; they would have killed him as punishment, well, at least try to. If I had taken him to Central he would be a test subject. First Lieutenant Ross was very generous in allowing me to take Wrath with me; it was her soldier that he killed. She trusts me and with that trust I must make responsible decisions. I refuse to allow Wrath to be free until I know what the hell is wrong with him."

"Red Water."

My head snapped to look behind me. "Al?"

Sig surprisingly had allowed Alphonse into the room. Al stood in the doorway looking right at me.

"Brother, when telling me your stories you said Wrath was semi-normal before he had crossed paths with the Sins and Dante. You told me that Red Water is what controls the Sins. After you crossed the gate and brought me back I had spent time with Wrath. The way you described Wrath before and after he became a Sin, I would say during the time I met him he still acted like a Sin. Maybe the Red Water is still inside him. Maybe it's what is making him crazy."

My eyes opened wide. I looked back at Izumi to find her looking at some invisible spot at the side of the bed. "Izumi, I think he's right."

She only slumped in her bed which made me frown.

"Brother, you told me before that you knew how to remove the Red Water from homunculus. Why not do that to Wrath?"

Logical, smart, impressive. I looked back at Alphonse. He had pieced together something I had been working on since my eyes first landed on Wrath in the Great Desert. During the days before I had crossed the gate to Germany, Alphonse had always been able to match my intelligence. It looked like even though Alphonse had lost some years on him he was still the brilliant minded boy he used to be.

I licked my lips as I turned back to Izumi. "Once my auto-mail is fixed I will take care of things."

Izumi finally looked at me. "Not without me you won't."

I couldn't help it, I had to smile. "Of course. Not without you."

* * *

My knee was outstretched in front of me, a stool supported my foot. Winry sat on a stool beside my outstretched leg. Her fingers moved rather quickly through the wires inside my kneecap.

My back suddenly hit the back of the seat, hard, as a shot of pain passed through me.

The problem with fixing damaged auto-mail while still connected to the bearer was this: if you twisted a wire or a screw the wrong way a jolt would go directly to the nerve. It was never a pleasant feeling. And Winry just had to do it every so often.

Winry's hand touched the human part of my leg as she looked up at me for a moment with concerned eyes. "You ok?"

I nodded. Winry gave a small smile before she went back to work.

I sighed as I leaned into the chair more. The cushions of the seat provided me with a fair amount of comfort. I was tempted to just curl up and try to go to sleep.

"Edward, why in the world is there sand in here?"

Ahh, what a good question. I was tempted to lie and claim I had been playing in a sandbox, but I figured she wouldn't buy it. "Let's just say that Ishbal is not exactly like Rizenpool."

That caused Winry to stop. She looked up at me with a look of surprise. I was pretty sure I knew why she was so surprised. I usually never told her anything. Well, I was suddenly feeling open that evening. Don't ask me why.

"I see." She mumbled.

Winry turned back to her work. She began to unscrew a screw that would take the steel plate that covered the lower front of my auto-mail leg off. The plate came off easily and showed more wires, circuits and the like. Mostly stuff I had no clue what the hell they were for.

Winry wiped a hand across her forehead. She then began to fiddle with a blue wire. She used a screwdriver to hold a screw by the wire in place. Her voice came out quiet when she finally spoke.

"I know what happened."

I lifted an eyebrow. "And what exactly is that?"

"I spoke to Gracia right before we left. Gracia had spoken to Riza…"

And Riza was present during my tiny argument with Roy during the almost-massacre. Ok, so maybe our argument wasn't that tiny.

I sat there not sure what to say. I should have known better than to think I could hide something like that from Granny, Al, and Winry. I knew Winry had a nice hook up when it came to military gossip. I just never really thought about it, if you know what I mean.

My auto-mail hand unconsciously flexed. I felt nervous all of the sudden. So she knew…

"Edward…"

Her head was still bowed over my leg, but her fingers had stopped their work. She simply sat there staring at my fake limb.

I found myself speaking before I could stop myself. "I couldn't shoot her." The child's face still danced vividly behind my eyes.

Winry looked at me. "Roy had told Riza about the little girl."

So she knew of that to. I had to admit I had underestimated Winry. I had a feeling I was one day going to bitch to Roy about my lack of privacy. But honestly, I couldn't really find myself being mad at Winry. I was sure Winry cared deeply for my safety. She had always worried about Al and me when we used to do our travels back in the day. Yet, I never told her anything then. I still didn't.

I began to feel guilty.

Winry grabbed onto my real arm with her left hand. She still held a screwdriver in the right. Her gesture was gentle and friendly. Her movements forced me to look her directly in the eyes. Until that moment I had actually never noticed how pretty Winry's eyes were before. Her eyes reminded me of the color of the ocean. During my travels I had seen the ocean a few times; it was a breath taking sight.

I shook my head slightly to clear my mind.

"Why didn't you shoot?"

I blinked at her. What type of question was that? Why hadn't I shot?

…sad thing was I almost did shoot. I almost shot Roy Mustang.

"Winry, what has gotten into you?"

The screwdriver Winry had been holding suddenly dropped from her hand. It clattered loudly against the wooden floor of the room. She turned her whole body fully towards me. Her face shriveled up while her hands went into fists. Her face went from anger, then to annoyance, then back to calm.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips.

"Sorry." Her words were soft, she sounded almost embarrassed.

Winry suddenly stood. She didn't look at me as she walked across the room. She stopped when she stood in front of one of the open windows. The evening sky outside was turning into various colors of pink, orange, and purple. The warm textures made the world seem lovely almost. A soft glow from the setting sun shined through the window and hit Winry's form.

She breathed in the summer air while she grasped the white drapes that hung loosely beside her.

I suddenly made a rash decision. "He scares me."

Her head snapped towards me. She seemed surprise that I had broken the silence that had fallen between us.

I continued anyways. "I want to say I hate Roy, but I don't. For years I was so stubborn to see it. I never wanted to admit it, but now that I'm older I think I am beginning to understand everything. The way he makes me feel-"

Winry's eyebrows suddenly shot to her hairline. "Edward, please tell me you're not gay."

If there was a moment in life that someone had surprised me more than anyone else could, this was that moment. Oh…my…God…

Obviously my face showed my shock for Winry burst into a fit of laughter. Nice.

"Winry! I am not gay!"

Winry's feet padded lightly against the floor as she made her way back over to me. Her laughter was now only a few vainly hushed giggles. "You set yourself up for that one."

I had to smile. She was right, I had been asking for it. I sat up more in the chair before I continued. "As I was saying…" My face suddenly turned serious. "…the way he makes me feel, he reminds me so much like a…well, a father almost."

I felt my face heat up. I wasn't sure why I was blushing. I suppose it was embarrassing as hell to admit that Roy Mustang reminded me of a…argh…parental figure.

I shook my head suddenly. "He would never replace my real father though."

"Granny told me that you had been stuck in a place called… Germany? With your dad during the years you had disappeared."

I narrowed my eyes at her, but kept my voice playful. "Is there anything that I can keep from you?"

"Alphonse had brought up about your father's grave awhile ago so I had asked Granny about it."

I had never told Winry anything about Germany. Germany wasn't a secret I wanted to keep from her or something, it was more like the only reason I told Al was because I had to tell him about father, and the only reason I told Granny was because I just needed someone to console with. By the time it would have come Winry's turn to hear it I was just sick of talking about it.

Ha, what a friend I was.

Winry turned back to my auto-mail leg. Her fingers began to grab wires again and twist and turn them. For a second I thought our conversation was over, but she spoke again.

"You know Roy cares deeply about you. I think he is beginning to realize that he thinks of you as a son. Now, you would never replace his son, but you are like one." She smirked at her last words.

"That day, I had almost shot Roy. The only reason I didn't was because about ten men knocked me over. I'm not much of a son." I sighed. "I wasn't much of a son to Dad either. I always treated him so poorly."

My eyes closed for a moment. My father. Forever I would feel guilty about my father. My Dad had given me so much, but all I ever gave in return was a cold shoulder. I slumped slightly in the chair. My Father had deserved so much more…

…just so much more.

Winry began to speak causing me to look at her. "Edward, I'm sure your Dad knows how much you care about him. Where ever he is, I'm sure he knows."

Well, if I wanted to explain reincarnation between the Gate and our world to Winry, I was pretty sure I could give her a straight answer of where my Father now was. But, deep down I truly wanted to believe that she was right. I wanted to believe that my Father was looking down at me and did know how much I cared about him.

I closed my eyes again, the memories of a day of so long ago played through my mind.

"I know I wasn't the best son. I want you to know that I forgive you for everything…I always had. I know you left us not for your sake, but for our own. Dad, I love you. I loved you even after you left, but I've just been too stubborn to admit it to myself. I'm so sorry, I'm just so sorry."

Our conversation remained light through the remaining of my repairs.

* * *

It was pitch black by the time I was fully repaired, snuck in a shower, and everyone had been fed. Izumi had not been at dinner, I had thought she was still in her bedroom.

I was surprised to discover otherwise.

The small lamp in the room illuminated the figures on the bed. Izumi sat with her child; she had her arms around him. Her head leaned gently on top of his while she hummed a soft melody that was only meant for the two of them.

Wrath was deep asleep, oblivious to the world.

I kept my voice quiet. "Maybe we should wait until morning."

I wasn't sure if Izumi had heard me. The affection she was giving to her child was an act I had never seen Izumi give before. Maybe it was because Wrath was not awake to stop her. Maybe she realized this would probably be her only chance to be able to hold him so freely.

It felt wrong for me to be there.

So I left. I left Izumi to touch her son, to feel his skin, to feel like a mother. I had shut the door gently behind me. I had stepped quietly down the hallway and was about to head towards the living room, but an open door had caught my attention.

Al sat in a cushioned chair in the room he seemed to have chosen to occupy for his stay. An open book was held in his hands. I watched Al for a moment trying to imprint the image of him into my head. I finally gave up and pushed the door open. He looked up at me with surprise. A smile consumed his face when he realized who it was.

I glided across the floor and knelt down in front of him. Alphonse shut his book and placed it to the side. I got a quick glance at the title of the book. It was an alchemy book, a rather advanced one.

We both looked at each other for a few moments, matching smiles dancing across our lips.

Finally we reached for one another and grabbed on tight. I actually thought I felt the prickle of tears threatening to spill. I ignored them. I didn't want to cry, not even from happiness. I just wanted to feel.

Every time we were brought together, we were then torn apart.

I was going to have to head back to Central soon.

I would lose him once more.

* * *

It was early in the morning, the sun had only begun to peak over the horizon.

My brother and I sat on top of a hill. We had done this many times in the past even if Al did not remember. During the days we had spent at Izumi's to train we would sneak out in the early morn and run to the edge of this hill. We used to conspire about our mom those days while the sun would rise. Now we simply enjoyed the company of one another.

"How did you know about Wrath?"

"It was rather obvious."

I gave him a smile. "Yeah, you're right."

I was still pretty impressed that Al thought up the Red Water theory. Maybe I was losing my touch because that thought had never crossed my mind.

"Brother, when you finish your time in the military, what will happen to us?"

The random question had caught me off guard. It was a good question. If I did somehow make it out of the military, what would happen to the two of us? "Well, we can't freeload off Granny forever."

Alphonse had his knees to his chest. He laid his head against his knees. "So, where will we go then?"

We were two orphans that had burned their home down years ago. "Where do you want to go?"

I had seen almost all of Amestris. Alphonse did not remember the world we had seen together. I did not mind to where we went. It was solely up to him where he wanted to go, what he wanted to do. I would go anywhere just as long as we could be together again.

Al finally spoke. "I don't want to leave Rizenpool."

Alphonse used to love to travel. I looked at him slightly confused. "You can go anywhere Al. Anywhere in this country… and you want to stay in Rizenpool?"

Alphonse looked at me with an intensity a child should not bare. "We belong there."

"You're right, we do." I couldn't deny that one.

Alphonse suddenly leaned his weight heavily against me. I could tell he was tired. Neither of us had gotten much sleep, we had stayed up just talking the night away. His eyes were half lidded as he spoke. "Can we build a house?"

I leaned over and placed my head over his. "If that's what you want." I gave a soft smile at the idea of having a home. A real home, our own home…

"I want it big. Can we paint it blue?"

"Of course. We can have a porch that wraps around it." One that stretched all around, we could put a chair set on it, maybe build a sitting swing. We could paint the shingles white. "Al, where would you want to build it at?"

A yawn escaped my little brother's lips. His head dug into my neck. I could feel his breath tease my skin as he spoke. "I don't want to build it over the old one, the ashes should remain peacefully undisturbed. I want to start over. I want it by the river, but still close to Granny's."

My eyebrows drew together at that. Hmm… I smirked. "Do you remember that hill I used to always sit on when I was upset?"

Alphonse nodded.

"The hill slopes down and then there is a fair amount of flat land there before it reach's the river bank. It would be a perfect spot."

"It sounds nice."

It truly did. The dream, the life, the world… it all sounded like a fantasy, a fantasy that maybe one day could come true. But, behind that hope was the reality of a war and my own chaotic life.

I closed my eyes. Even if odds were against that dream of ours, I still planned to hold onto it. Just for that moment as the sun headed above the hill tops and over the world, I allowed that dream to feel like a true reality.

* * *

I carried Al into his room. I gently laid him on the bed. Al had my red jacket tightly wrapped around his body; I didn't even try to untangle him from it. I pulled the covers over his sleeping form and took a step back. Al was peaceful while being consumed by his dreams.

I turned from his bed and closed the drapes of the window to make sure no light would disturb him. I gave him one more glance before I left the room and shut the door quietly behind.

I wasn't sure what time it was, really I didn't want to know. Everyone had seemed asleep when I had first entered the house, so I had hoped I could crash on a couch and get maybe a little more sleep myself, but when I entered the living room area I found Izumi sitting in one of the seats.

She had her arms folded over her chest and her eyes looking downward. "Did you two have fun?"

I plopped down on a seat across from her. A coffee table was the only thing that separated us. "Yes we did. You are up awfully early." Well, I hoped it was early. Heh.

Izumi looked up at me. "My son had awakened during your disappearance."

My eyes suddenly flew open, shit.

Izumi shook her head and spoke. "I apologize for going through your personal belongings, but I needed to give him a small dosage."

I was tempted to sigh in relief, but held back. "It's fine. I'm sorry, I thought he wouldn't need anymore till a little later today."

Sadness crept into Izumi's tone. "I want to get the Red Water out of him as soon as possible. The amount of tranquilizer I used will not keep him asleep for much longer, and to be honest, I don't want to put any more drugs into his system. Edward, I want to do it now."

I wanted to ask Izumi if I could get more sleep. I admit I had dosed off for about an hour with Al on the hilltop, but it hadn't been enough. Then again, she was right, he needed the transmutation done.

"Did he scare you?"

She had seen him awake. She had seen what he had become.

She nodded slowly. "There is something wrong with him. Beyond his normalcy."

I ran a hand through my hair and down the back of my braid. "Let me get some coffee into my system then we will do it."

* * *

The basement of a butcher shop wasn't a place to really show off to people, but it was the most private area we had. As kids, my brother and I would sneak down to the basement and do some snooping around, but these days it didn't seem as interesting. Hanging slaughtered pigs and cows that were waiting to be chopped up did not really look pleasant. Especially after Barry the Butcher, now that sort of ruined everything for me.

Izumi had led me to the back room away from the slain animals. We entered an open area with cement flooring. I shut the door behind myself. Izumi handed me a piece of chalk while she stood to the side and held her drugged son.

Ahh, what a beautiful morning it was.

The chalk scrapped awfully loudly as I drew away. I decided to take my time as I did the alchemy array. It had been awhile since I last drew it and I didn't want to make any flaws. I wanted it to be perfect.

Once I was finished I placed my hands on my hips and used my eyes to follow the design a few times.

I looked over at Izumi. She was touching the Flamel tattooed in the dip of her collarbone. The Flamel was the same used in the array design… I didn't feel like commenting on the obvious.

"You know, it's really cold down here."

Izumi seemed slightly startled that I spoke, but still commented on my statement. "Well, if you would put more clothing on I'm sure you would be feeling more comfortable."

Before we had headed down I had decided to make a quick change. I had changed into a white tee shirt and a pair of dark green thin cotton pants. Where did these cotton pants mysteriously arise from? Well, it seemed that Winry had stolen a pair of mine from Rizenpool and had been using them for extra nightwear. I didn't feel guilty of stealing them back for the day.

I took a deep breath of air and blew it out. White puffballs fell from my mouth. Yes, it was that cold.

I rubbed my hands together. "Let's get things started."

Izumi stood up with Wrath in her arms. She placed him in the center of the array and took a step back.

We both went to our knees sitting side by side. I was about to do something totally new to the both of us. I was about to give Izumi a lesson on alchemy.

"I'm sure you know this isn't normal alchemy. Considering that the Red Water sinks into his system you must be able to reformulate the water particles into solids and push them into his stomach and up the esophagus. We need to make sure the stones are small so he won't choke."

Izumi raised an eyebrow at me. "Edward that is common sense. What I need to know is what the Red Water is made of."

For an alchemist to decompose and reconstruct any products they needed to know the proper formation of the product. So, I ran down the list of components that created Red Water. Izumi's complexion seemed a little blue as I finished the list.

"Half those chemicals are deadly when mixed together." I was surprised she mentioned that rather than the human sacrifices.

"Yea, they are. Let's get this done."

Izumi nodded.

A sudden moan erupted from the boy on the floor. Shit, Wrath was beginning to wake up. Izumi looked slightly panicked. "Edward?"

"Just do it."

Both our hands smacked onto the concrete of the ground. If we hurried it up we could do everything with Wrath still being unconscious.

Of course, things never worked out that way.

Wrath's eyes suddenly shot open as the blue light of the array colored the world around him. In one loud bellowed scream Wrath expressed his displeasure towards our actions.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Izumi begin to move. I grabbed her with my right hand while keeping my left hand on the array. "Don't you dare try to touch him."

Wrath screamed again and this time chucks of Red Water flew out of his mouth. Izumi turned to me. "You're hurting him!"

Wrath was Izumi's weak spot. It was obvious.

Izumi grabbed my hand and tried to push it away, but my auto-mail grip was too strong. Izumi screamed in frustration. "Stop it! I won't allow this!"

More chucks of Red Water fell to the floor, screams and spasms began to consume Wrath. He wanted us to stop; he knew if he made it look much worse then it truly was we just might stop. I wasn't buying it.

Izumi tried to leap forward and with all my might, I threw her back. This was not going as planned. Great.

Izumi had fallen behind me. I did not even look back as I placed my right hand back on the array. I closed my eyes while streaming through calculations, hoping that I could get the rest of the Red Water out of Wrath before it was too late.

Wrath just had to say it, didn't he? "MOMMY!"

Full body weight crashed into me that caused me to fall forward and partially into the array. I fell right in front of Wrath as the glow of the array disappeared.

"God damn it! Izumi!"

She was still on top of me as she whispered into my ear. "I can't bare to hear him scream, I won't allow you to continue until you give him more tranquilizer."

Wrath stared at me with chucks of Red Water covering his clothing and his face. His eyes seemed demented and, to make the matters worse, he was un-cuffed. Izumi had asked me to un-cuff him before we came downstairs. I thought it would be fine considering we were going to remove the source of his problems. Shit.

"Izumi, get off me now." I tried to keep my words calm as I spoke.

Wrath rolled over to his side. His eyes did not leave my face. We should have kept him cuffed. Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Izumi got off me. I don't think she was aware of Wrath's behavior. I cleared my throat before I spoke. "Izumi, go upstairs and get the drugs and cuffs."

Wrath didn't seem to notice as Izumi began to walk towards the door. His eyes were only on me. He grinned.

I suppose Izumi finally became aware of the situation. "Edward, I'm not leaving."

I got up off the ground, but did not turn. "Get out of here and shut the damn door and hurry up. I won't hurt him, I promise."

Her voice was threatening, she sounded like a Master talking to her disobedient disciple. "Edward."

I turned. "Get the fuck out of here!"

And he jumped.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Omg, Omg, Omg! WAAAAA! I am so freakin' excited about getting Held back up and running! Call me a freak if you want, I don't care! Yes, I did take my month break and many eventful things had happened in that month. But Gomp is now back and in action! I have been internally itching to get my fingers moving back with this fic. Oh my, I am just so excited it's not even funny!

Ok…now that I have freaked everyone (including myself) out…

Everyone involved in Held did have a nice break, but we are all ready to get back to work. Held will go back to regular updating. No, that doesn't mean once a month! I would say a chapter every one to two weeks. A lot of very exciting things will be happening in the remaining chapters of this story. Oh joy, joy! I am having a grand ol' time writing about Wrath. Very fun character to write about! I'm happy Ed is now back with the others :D. This chapter was a blast to write.

Han-chan and Egypt much love and appreciation for your fantastic work!

* * *

**Questions you may have…**

**1. Ok, now why is Wrath a totally lunatic?**

Psycho Wrath is totally kick-ass to write. But, Wrath isn't randomly crazy for my own personal amusement. Is it the Red Water? Well, obviously you gotta wait to find out. XP Oh boy I'm mean.

**2. The Red Water is still in Wrath?**

Ok, this will be obviously spoken about later. But, Wrath never did lose his Red Water in the series so yup; he is still filled with the red stuff.

**3. Waa! Why is Izumi such a pansy?**

Ha, ha, ha! I wish you could have read my first draft of this chapter. She was an ultra pansy originally. No, Izumi has not softened up. I am trying to stress that Izumi does have one major soft spot and his name is Wrath. In the series when Wrath came along you did see Izumi become a big softy and pansy when it came towards matters which consisted of her son. So, that is why Izumi is such a major pansy in this chappy!

**4. Omg… Ed…talked…to…Winry….**

Ed, as he said, was feeling loose and was up to the talking. Come on people! It's about damn time he start's being more open!

* * *

**MarshmellowDragon-** Good guesses about Wrath! You will have to find out later though, sorry, no spoilers! Yup, all those myths and theories truly do exist. If you ever get the chance to read about the origins of Alchemy it is a very exciting subject to read upon. I'll give you a small spoiler: The manga stays rather true to history and to the myths (well, of course there is some originality to the plotline). It's part of the reason I love the manga so much. Thanks for the review!

**Paranoidish-** Thank you for all the lovely comments! Yes, the idea of an invasion does keep this fic on its toes in my opinion also. I love writing Edward and Mustang together. They are unbelievably easy to write about! But, no romance between the two in this fic (even though I am not against the couple XD!). Thank you for the comment on the title. It took me awhile to come up with it, but I was rather pleased when I figured it out. Thank you for your review!

**Kwala-** Ok, I will try to answer everything you asked! Yes, Ed and Ling do not know each other like they do in the manga. The anime series is the main story I am using in this fic, the manga is just entwined. I will explain why Wrath was protecting the sanctuary area. The reason Ed is willing to destroy the sanctuary without investigating is for many reasons. The kid is very exhausted with his life already! He knows nothing good is going to come out of this sanctuary place, at this point he just wants to be safe rather than sorry. If Wrath is involved Edward just doesn't want to know what is going on. I won't say if Ed and Mei will have any importance later in the fic… tisk, tisk! No spoilers! Well, I have been having an absolute blast talking to you! I can't wait to get to learn more about you! You are an awesome person! Well, thanks for the review!

**Aharah Musici-** I am so happy you liked your B-day present. Much love dear!

**SoulOmenspride-** Ahhh! I am so happy you are still with us! I was wondering if you ever stuck around XD! Thank you for the wonderful comments. I think that's great you understood the array parts. It could get confusing if you didn't. Well, I'm overjoyed that you are still aboard. Great hearing from you again! Lol, don't abuse Winry! Thanks for the wonderful review!

**Lady Elithraniel- **Don't be ashamed that you have never read the manga! But, 'nudges you' you really should! Awesome piece of work. Awesome that you understand Taoism. It is my all time favorite religion to learn about. I hope Han-chan will be able to figure out who you are! Well, thank you for your review!

**Katratzi-** Good, I am happy you are interested in the mythology and everything. It is very interesting stuff. Hopefully you will have a fun time being able to try to piece together the mystery of this fic! We will find out soon who Ross saw in the shadows (do do do). Hopefully Han-chan did have a good time in Japan. I am so happy that she has returned safely to us! Well, thank you for the review!

**Anon-** Well, hopefully the months break wasn't too bad. Thank you for all your wonderful comments! The person who told me this was getting boring was being honest and I had to agree. I think I was adding wayyy to much information into everything I said. But, hopefully the fic will get much more fun and exciting while still being simple. I am happy that you seem to be enjoying this fic. I love writing this fic with a passion, and I'm excited to get this fic back on the road! Thank you so much for your wonderful review! Much appreciation for your support!

**Grengo-** Wow, what you said was so freakin' flattering! I broke out into a big grin when I read what you had to say. Very touching! I am glad you like my writing style and such. I really wanted to be as original as possible when I decided to do this fic. I really appreciate everything you said. Thanks for the review!

**MusicalRileyChan-** A kitten named Al? Awe! That's so awesome! What color is it? My cat is a fat blob who thinks he rules the bloody world! Actually, right now he is sleeping right behind me thinking he rules my bed. Oh how do I love my puddy cat. I hope you are having a blast with your kitten! XD! Sorry for killing Al. Thanks for the review!

**KASLiNN-** The best Fma fic you ever read? Stop, you will make me blush! Thank you for the kind comment! I hope the month wasn't too bad of a wait. It was a horrible wait for me (and I am not joking). I am so freakin' excited about starting this story up again. I took into strong consideration about your comma comment. Hopefully I was better in this chapter with the comma's. I did try my best. Criticism is always welcome with me and I appreciate them very dearly. Thank you for bringing my comma obsession to my attention! Anyways, glad you like Wrath cause I loved the dude. He is so fun to write about! I made him a little crazy in my fic, but hopefully that will add some excitement to his character. Thank you for the awesome review!

**DogEarFetish-** I almost died when I saw all your comments! I can't believe you commented on every chapter! You rock! I am happy you like this fic. I agree with your prospective on preferring authors who do not BS. I try to either have a theory or some type of proof when I bring ideas into my stories. It makes the story more dynamic and exciting in my opinion. Thank you for so many reviews! I was on vacation and came back to a whole butt load of reviews! I was like 'omg, this person is totally awesome!' Well thank you for all your reviews!

**RogueAmnesti-** Haha, you really want me to write a fic with Ed and Roy fighting topless in mud? Well, let me tell you what. Give me awhile and some patience and I will see what I can do. Right now I am a little busy with a few other things I have on my plate, but I will try and do a one shot! Anyways, hope the month wasn't too bad of a wait. It was a killer wait for me. But, I kept a promise to myself to stay away from this fic for a month and accomplished that goal. Now I am filled with fresh ideas! I am so excited for the remainder chapters of this fic! Thank you for your wonderful review! Yay, free cookies! Oh yea, did you find any good fics to read during your wait?

**Kuro Roze-** Oh my, I was waiting for you to reach the chapter of Ed and Klose kissing. It seemed you didn't take to it well 'pumps life back into you'. I love reviews; never think you can review too much! I hope the chapter with Klose and Ed didn't scare you off. Well, thanks for the review!

**Tinger-** Thank you for such the wonderful offer. You are in China? I am so jealous! I hope you have a wonderful time there! I hope you got my email. Thank you for the review! Such a kind offer you have given!

**Eriya-** Well, I wrote more! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for the review!

**Han-chan-** I am so glad you have returned to us! I am jealous that you saw the movie! Must…share…spoilers! Awesome hearing from you girl. Obviously you got the chapter!

**Most reviewed chapter to date! Awesome people! I appreciate all the support and all your kind comments. It means so much to me!**


	20. Death's War

So, this one day I dressed like Ed and stole his pants and went down to the random claiming cooperation to try and claim Fullmetal Alchemist, the anime series.

Maybe it's because I'm a girl, maybe it's because I have brown hair, or maybe it's because I'm two inch's taller than Ed…but for some reason no one was willing to fall for me being Edward Elric.

What a bummer.

* * *

Held

By Gomp

I turned towards Izumi, "Get the fuck out of here!" and Wrath jumped.

But, the clever little bugger decided to suddenly be cunning. When he jumped, he did not jump at me. Oh no, he jumped at Izumi. Shit.

He jumped at Izumi and threw her right into the wall that was beside the door. I did not hesitate as I ran towards the two and jumped on top of Wrath. Wrath went flying to the floor. I did my best to pin him down as I looked up to see if Izumi was alright.

Izumi sat on the floor with a hand over her mouth. Blood fell from between her fingers. She was coughing up blood again. Well, talk about perfect timing.

"Get the hell out of here!"

Izumi looked at me with wide eyes. Her coughs weren't too serious. As she spoke I saw the blood that stained her teeth. "No."

"You're not helping me. I need the damn tranquilizer and cuffs. God damn it, just go!"

Wrath's auto-mail hand had somehow loosened its way from my grip. In an instant my right cheek met metal. And, oh man, it hurt like hell.

I growled as I grabbed his auto-mail hand with my own, slamming his hand towards the ground. I took a quick glance up just in time to see the door of the room close. I was tempted to jump for joy; Izumi had finally listened to me and left. But, I didn't get the opportunity to celebrate for long. Wrath began to have a fit of laughter as he struggled against my tight hold.

"Oh no, I'm not letting you go."

Wrath's laughter became increasing louder the more he struggled. Our auto-mail limbs clanked loudly together as he kept moving around. I pushed more on his body in hopes I could keep him contained, but much to my surprise, Wrath suddenly used his auto-mail knee and kneed me right in the gut. There was a moment of confusion, and in that moment, Wrath threw me right off of him. Nice one.

I quickly got to my feet while holding my stomach. I only felt a dull ache. Wrath had run to one of the corners of the room as he bared his teeth at me. "Edward's finally willing to play!"

I was tempted to roll my eyes. How corny of a line. "Wrath, I am not here to play games with you."

Wrath smirked as his eyes went from side to side. "Yes, yes. But…" His eyes stopped their rapid movements and looked directly at me. "Don't you want the truth?"

That stopped me. The truth? "What are you talking about?"

Wrath bounced right at me. He was a fast lil' bugger. I lost some of my footing as Wrath grabbed my shirt and began to pull at it. The only reason I didn't fall over was because I backed into a wall.

His words were spoken quickly. "The truth, truth, truth, TRUTH!"

"What the hell is the truth?"

My ignorance seemed to amuse Wrath. He suddenly began giggling as his hands twisted tightly into my white shirt. I had a feeling that he was just trying to screw around with me to buy himself time. Last thing I needed was to be tricked by an insane wacko.

I grabbed Wraths hands with my human hand and punched him across the face with my steel one.

Hey, as I looked at it I did promise Izumi I wouldn't hurt him, but how the hell do you hurt a homunculus? So hitting was very much allowed.

At first I thought it was blood pouring from the boy's mouth, but I then realized it was just more of the Red Water. Wrath spat some of the water onto the floor before he looked back at me. His eyes opened wide as he grinned. Drips of the Red Water fell down his chin in thick streams.

Wrath's voice was quiet, but obviously he seemed entertained. "The universal truth."

My fist that had been pulled far back, ready to strike again, faltered.

…The universal…truth? What the hell was this boy talking about?

I fell back against the cement floor. A gasp left my lips as Wrath's knee was pressed on my injured shoulder. Wrath moved his body down and straddled my waste as his hands held my wrists. His face was only a few inch's away from mine. His breath smelled worse than a garbage-can stuffed with last week's dinner. "You are free. Free, free, free! But, you just can't stay away, can you?" Wrath actually licked my cheek. I could feel the slim of the Red Water as it dripped onto my skin. His eyes shined brightly from enjoyment. "Does the gate not like you?"

We rolled around a few times till I was finally on top. I felt a strange sensation coming from the area Wrath had licked me. I was tempted to stay on top of Wrath, but the sensation I felt was making me a little light headed. I pushed myself off and away from him. I quickly wiped away the saliva off my cheek with the back of my metallic hand. When I looked at the back of my hand, I found it smeared with the bright red color of the water. Red Water was highly toxic. I quickly rubbed the back of my hand onto my pants.

Wrath's expression seemed outright crazy. I knew any second that Izumi would be flying through the doors, but I was growing impatient.

"I know the truth."

I stood up as calmly as possible. "Wrath, will you shut up already about the damn truth. You most likely know nothing."

Wrath pushed himself into a standing position also. He was only a few feet away from me. I looked at the location he was at and the ground below him. He was probably a half foot away from the array. I didn't want to ruin the array, so if I could lure him a few more steps away I could easily wrap cement around his feet with alchemy.

I took a step forward, he didn't budge. I took another one; he just looked at me like I was dinner. Well, my plan to move him didn't seem to be working. Great. I took one more step leaving only about a foot between us. Wrath simply looked up at me with a crooked smile. I sighed.

"Come now Wrath, do you really want to have to fight me?"

Wrath suddenly straightened himself. He was a few inches shorter than me, but it was obvious the kid was still growing. His hair fell over his eyes as Red Water dripped to the floor from his mouth. He gave me a toothy smile. "Edward." He looked at me. "It's what I live for!" He leapt.

Our steel fists compacted loudly together. My human hand went straight for his neck. His human hand went to my hair. He yanked roughly at my golden locks while I tightened my grip around his neck. Wrath took a step forward and I took a step back. I felt the rough surface of the wall behind me hit my back. Shit. It was not good to be backed into a wall.

Our metal fists began to arm wrestle one another. Both steel limbs pushed roughly at each other seeing whose would give first.

My hand around Wrath's neck didn't seem to even faze him. He simply yanked as hard as he could at my blond hair over and over again. Damn, having long hair wasn't always the best thing.

I head butted Wrath and pushed him away from me. I ran forward and jumped causing both of us to fall to the floor in a tangle of limbs. I grabbed Wrath's shoulders and pushed them to the ground.

"Once Izumi gets here I am going to stuff enough drugs into you that you will never wake up! Damn annoying bastard!"

Wrath shook his head back and forth as he struggled against me. Quietly I could hear him saying "No, no-."

Wraths metal hand shot up and punched me right into my injured shoulder. Of course the searing pain went to my head. A blinked away a moment of blindness and found myself pushed away from Wrath. I took a few breaths in an attempt to help getting my head on straight. My damn shoulder was becoming a bloody pain in my ass.

I used the wall to help get me up. A few feet away from me Wrath stood himself.

We just stood there for a few moments, taking in deep breaths.

Wrath was getting on my last nerves. I planned to give Izumi an earful about this morning's events. I didn't care if she was once my Master. See, the key word there was _once_.

"Edward." Wrath's voice came out deep and rugged. It sounded different compared to his other psycho light tones he had used before. He sounded pissed and almost as annoyed as myself. "It's only a matter of time till the end."

I instantly realized that Wrath was telling me something. He wasn't being crazy and disturbing. He was simply speaking the honest truth in a pissed off manner. I really wanted to question him more, but I didn't get the opportunity to.

Wrath jumped at me once more and this time there was no way I could have stopped him.

I yelped when I felt his teeth sink into my skin. His teeth were so chipped and pointy that it didn't take much effort for him to cause me to bleed. He bit me right on the junction of my neck with my left shoulder. What the hell was this kid? A bloody vampire?

I threw Wrath away from me. I grabbed my neck feeling blood running freely from my new fresh wound. I blinked a few times…and then I realized my vision was beginning to go.

My words were hoarse. "It's the damn Red Water; you put some into my blood stream." I fell back, right onto my butt, as my world began to spin uncontrollably. I slurred. "You bastard." My breathing suddenly began to weaken. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. The world kept spinning faster and faster.

I laid onto my back and stared at the ceiling. My vision was beginning to spot. Wrath suddenly entered my line of vision, he looked down at me. I watched him beginning to kneel beside me when my vision suddenly blanked out.

I then heard a scream before I went totally oblivious to the world.

* * *

Smoke… I smelt…smoke… 

My eyes slowly opened. I wasn't sure what to expect to find. Was I still with Wrath? Was I dead? Was I even truly waking?

Granny peered down at me; she didn't look at all pleased. Her eyes narrowed at me while she smoked her pipe. The smoke of her pipe entered my nostrils. Argh, well, that was the smoke I smelled.

"Well, look who's finally waking up."

I tried to sit up but automatically began to groan when I felt the pain coming from my neck and left shoulder. I ran my human hand over the area I had been bitten and found it bandaged up. I looked down at myself and found myself topless with sheets bunched at the waste.

My eyes opened wide at realization. I was topless and Granny was looking at me. I didn't care if she saw my bare chest; I cared because she was seeing all the wounds that covered my body. I could feel a blush quickly spread across my face. Granny smirked at my obvious discomfort. "You really have been busy, haven't you?" Humor had been woven into her voice.

My body was a mass of bruises and bandages. It seemed that someone had the pleasure of changing my bandages that covered my shoulder. I eyed Granny and she gave a small shrug. "It wasn't me. You are going to need those stitches removed soon."

I was tempted to ask who changed the bandages then, but decided against it. I looked around the small room for my shirt but couldn't find it. "It's in the wash." Sometimes Granny could read me like a book.

I sighed as I looked at the old woman. "What happened?"

She took a big puff from her pipe. "I have been waiting for you to ask me that. When they had come to the basement with the cuffs and drugs, they found Izumi's child knelt beside you and you were bleeding. Izumi's child has been taken care of, Izumi finished the transmutation. "

"Who's _they_?"

"Why your brother and Izumi of course."

"My brother!"

Granny nodded. She stood from the seat she had been sitting in. "Alphonse is the one who transmuted the Red Water from your system. He's becoming quite the Alchemist."

I was still stuck on the fact that Alphonse had been down in the basement. "Who let him down there? Did Izumi bring him?"

Granny sighed as she walked towards the door. "I believe he followed. Edward, your brother is old enough to take care of himself."

I lifted an eyebrow. "He's fourteen, that's not old at all."

Granny's hand stopped as it grabbed the knob of the door. She looked at me with something close to amusement. "Not old enough? If I recall correctly you weren't old yourself when-"

I groaned. "Ok, ok, I know." I looked away from Granny's face. "I just don't want to see something happen to him, that's all."

The door opened and clicked close.

* * *

I sat in the room. It had been an hour since Granny left and no one else had come in to check on me. I sat alone with my thoughts. My thoughts mainly revolved around Al. 

I broke the silence of the room with my muttered words. "How the hell can I protect him if I'm not even around?"

I was stuck in the military for a year. I had lost so many years without Al and was now forced to lose one more. I didn't see an ounce of fairness in the situation.

After a little while longer of not one person checking up on me, I became slightly confused. Ok, I wasn't an attention hound and didn't expect people to bid to my every need when injured, but usually when I was with my family at least one would stick around to see if I was still kicking.

I threw my legs off the side of the bed and sat up. I automatically regretted it.

I held my head as the world began to spin. "Come on! I thought Granny said Al removed the water." I forced myself to stand up, but my wobbly knees refused to hold the weight of my body. I gave up and just allowed my body to fall back onto the bed. "What shit."

"You and your foul language."

My head snapped to the door. Winry stood there with her arms crossed.

"Well, it is shit. What do you want?"

"Sometimes, Edward, I'm tempted to wash your mouth out with soap." Winry walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

I sighed as I pushed myself up onto my elbows. "Ok mother." I stuck my tongue out at her. Winry simply rolled her eyes.

Winry walked around the bed and stood right in front of me. Her arms remained crossed as her eyes scanned my form. She frowned.

I looked at her expecting her to say something, but she didn't. The room suddenly felt uncomfortable. I sat up in a sitting position before I spoke. "Did you want something?"

"An explanation might work."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Well, if you first gave me a question, then maybe I could offer you an explanation."

I could see a bunch of emotions swirl in Winry's eyes. Disappointment, disbelief, sadness. The most predominate though was rage. Winry's wrath was never a good thing. "What happened to you?"

Figures. I ran my hand through my bangs as I sat up. My human hand ran over the bandages that covered my shoulder. "Just stuff."

Her slap didn't really hurt much. Trust me; I have been hit a lot harder. Her small hand didn't really faze me. But, the emotion that was in the slap sure as hell lashed out at my ego. I looked up at Winry slightly startled.

"Edward, when are you going to get it through your thick scull that you have people who worry about you? Why didn't you tell us that you were so hurt!"

My voice remained calm, no use in raising it. "I'm alive aren't I? If I called and told you every time I got hurt, then I would just end up worrying you guys to death."

What I said didn't seem to fit right with Winry. "How often does this happen?"

I couldn't help it, I smirked. This was part of the reason I didn't like telling Winry stuff. Heck, why I didn't tell people everything about my life period. It was because my life was just that damn scary. "Winry, just drop it."

Winry suddenly turned and flopped back onto the bed. She laid there with her eyes closed. "Sometimes I really hate you."

"Well, that's comforting."

Winry smacked my human arm gently. "What happened to your shoulder?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

One of her eyes popped open. "You don't say."

We fell silent for a few minutes. Winry laid on the bed while I sat there looking down at her. Her golden hair was spread out around her while her pale features went relaxed. She took in a few deep breaths before she finally spoke. "Izumi's child is really sick."

For some reason I didn't find that at all surprising. The Red Water theoretically had become a part of Wrath when it entered his system. I guess I could see why Wrath might fall ill if the Red Water was taken from him. I mean, it didn't make sense since he wasn't human, but I could see it. I nodded to show my understanding.

"Edward, you should really thank your brother for saving you. Izumi told us how deadly Red Water could be."

"I'll thank him."

I laid down on the bed next to Winry. We just laid there for awhile, not really saying anything. My eyes drifted closed. The bed was comfortable, I was tempted to sleep. I mean, come on, I hadn't had much sleep from the night before; I had a right to be tired. Winry poked me I suppose to inform me she was still there. Her words were quiet, almost a whisper. "Ed, how long do you plan to stay?"

"I don't know, got to wait till I can question Wrath."

"So, you think for a few days?"

My eyes crept open slightly. "Maybe, depends how long it takes. I doubt Roy will care for how long I'm gone for. The only person who might really care is Klose."

The bed suddenly shifted. Winry was looking right down at me. "Who's Klose?"

I blinked a few times. "Roy's secretary."

"And why would she care?" Winry's voice held a tone of accusation.

I looked at Winry confused for a second until it dawned on me. A laugh bubbled up in my throat. "Why do you care?"

Winry growled at me. Wow, she actually had a rather good growl. "I'm not jealous if that's what you're implying!"

"I never said anything about jealousy, but since you brought it up…"

She suddenly sat up in the bed. Her voice became serious. "I was just curious of who she was and why she would care. If she's Roy's secretary, I just don't get why it would matter to her."

I felt a blush suddenly bloom. How many times could I blush in one day? "I'm not totally antisocial or anything. Klose and I are friends."

"Oh, so the big brave Edward Elric actually has friends?"

"Well, yea."

Winry was a girl, right? Well, I hoped. Ok, so she was a girl. Anyways, didn't girls understand about the romance crap? I was in desperate need of some guidance. And Winry suddenly looked like the perfect candidate.

I sat up next to Winry. I took a deep breath. "Winry, can I ask you something?"

Winry looked at me startled for a moment. She then nodded. I cleared my throat before I spoke. "Well, I need help with something. See, Klose and I, well…"

"Ew, you two didn't… you know?"

My eyes rounded at the implication. "Winry! Ew, no." It was sad that when sex was implied two adults would go ew. "Well we didn't do that. But we did other stuff."

Winry's mood suddenly shifted. I could feel it in the air. It was an almost depressing mood. "I see."

"Sorry, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just, well. I need help. I'm not sure-"

"-Ed, I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask. You are probably better off speaking to Izumi or Granny about this."

I frowned. "Oh." I wanted to ask Winry how I should act when I saw Klose again. I had turned Klose down and in her letter she said we could start over, but I needed some guidance on how to be normal around her from now on.

"Winry!" It was Granny's voice that suddenly yelled into the room, it sounded urgent. Both Winry and I looked towards the door. Winry suddenly stood. I went to stand myself but the world began to spin around again. Great, just bloody great.

Winry turned. "Ed, just stay here."

"No, I'm coming." I forced myself to stand. The world kept spinning round and round and I was about to fall back over, but a strong reassuring hand grabbed onto my metal arm. "Well if you're coming, let's go."

Winry guided me out of the room and down the hallway. The more I walked the better intact my brain slowly became. We headed towards the room I had originally placed Wrath in.

The door was open. We both walked in together.

It was filled with panic.

Izumi sat at the bottom of the bed, rubbing Wrath's feet. "The fever is rising; we have to get it down!"

Granny stood near the front of the bed. "We need some cold water, we have to try and cool him off."

Sig stood in the corner of the room, silent as always. His eyes were wide open with fear.

Wrath laid on the bed, his face was pale. His breathing was harsh as he took in deep breaths. His expression reflected nothing but suffering. Shit.

Winry's hand fell away from my arm as she quickly walked into the room. I leaned against the wall to help support myself.

Winry walked up to Granny. "Granny, what can I do?"

"Water child, bring some cold water and a wash cloth.'

Winry ran right past me and out of the room.

I stared at the bed unsure what to think. I wanted to tell Izumi 'He cant die.', but that would be rather naïve of me. Without the Red Water, didn't that mean he could?

I cleared my throat. "How bad is it?"

It was almost as if no one had noticed me before. All eyes turned to me. Granny spoke. "We need to lower the fever." That meant it was bad.

"We need to call the local doctor, Sig, call him!"

I could see all the fear in Izumi's eyes. She was being downright tortured. It made me feel sick. But, I had to intervene.

"You can't do that."

Izumi glared at me. "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do."

My old Master was really frustrating me, that was for sure. "Izumi, think logically for a moment. He's not human! You cannot call a doctor."

"If he wasn't human, he wouldn't be sick! Call the damn doctor!"

If he wasn't human…he wouldn't be sick.

Why was Wrath having a fever anyways?

* * *

I didn't say anything. I simply stood there and kept quiet as I observed. 

He couldn't tell.

He was a professional and he saw no difference. I did not understand.

"Some toxins are in his system, I believe that is what is making him sick. I was able to lower his temperature, but you must keep an eye on him. Make sure he drinks plenty of fluids to help ride him of the unwanted substances-" The doctor rambled on. Izumi nodded her head to everything the man was saying.

Wrath laid on the bed. His skin had gained some color, his breathing was better.

I didn't get it. Not one bit. What made homunculus so different from us? The doctor had given Wrath a pretty thorough physical. He didn't even make one comment on any differences in Wrath's being.

Then again, what had I been expecting? Of course Wrath's anatomy was similar to that of a human. It's not like he was going to lack organs, or have a third testicle, or something.

Then what the hell made homunculus so different? I just didn't get it.

I uncrossed my arms and left the room. I walked down the hallway and was planning to head towards the front door so I could go for a short walk, but I noticed Alphonse sitting in the living room. He was alone.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Al's eyes flicked from his book to my face. "I've been pretty much sentenced to sit on this couch all day. I'm not supposed to leave."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Why on earth are you sentenced to the couch?"

"Considering everything that has happened, everyone wants me in one spot where they know where I am."

I frowned. "Well, that's kind of jerkish of them."

Al closed the book he was reading. It was another alchemy book. I swear, Izumi's house was littered with the illegal texts. "How's he doing?"

I sighed as I plopped next to Al on the couch. "He will be fine." I looked up and closed my eyes. The ceiling fan blew a nice gust of air constantly at me. It helped keep me cool.

"That's good I suppose."

I murmured, "Yea, I guess it is."

Silence fell between us for a few minutes. I heard Al pick up his book and return to his reading. I was still extremely tired and was ready to doze, but Al's book was suddenly slammed closed. It caused me to look towards him.

"Brother, can we go somewhere?"

I lifted an eyebrow. "You want to leave? Where do you want to go?"

Al shrugged. "My butt really hurts and I'm growing extremely bored. Please?"

I forced my tired body to stand. "Sure, I guess so."

* * *

"So, you saved my life." 

"I didn't save your life. There wasn't enough Red Water in your system to kill you."

I glanced at Al. He might have been right, I didn't know. I wasn't exactly aware of how much Red Water Wrath had put into me during the time of things. "Well, you still removed it." I scratched my head. "Thanks."

Al offered me a small smile.

It was late in the afternoon. Our feet shuffled along the graveled road of the buzzing downtown of Dublis. There weren't too many people out. Mainly merchants littered the sidewalks while trying to get the few passers to buy their goods.

Al and I pushed through the merchants, simply walking straight ahead. We really didn't have a place to go, no where we needed to be. We were just out enjoying the outside world.

My mind wandered to many different thoughts. Some about the mystery of Enzo, others about the war. As I watched the daily life of Dublis I kept wondering if life would always be that way. What if Xing won this war? What would these people's lives be like?

I felt a tug on my shirt. "Ed, what are you thinking about?"

My eyes turned to Al. "A lot of things." I sighed. "Just a lot of dumb stuff."

Al frowned. "I doubt it's dumb."

I suppose he was right. It wasn't dumb, it was very important things. But things I couldn't change. "I don't know Al, life is just getting confusing."

"When is it not confusing?"

He had a good point. I couldn't think of a reply to that one.

Al continued on. "Every time I see you, you never seem happy."

My jaw fell. "What the hell are you talking about? Every time I see you I feel ecstatic, you are what makes me happy." Al was everything I lived for. Pretty much he was the sunshine of my existence.

Al shook his head. We both took a step off the curve leaving the market place behind; we were heading into empty streets.

"I mean, you don't seem happy in general. Is the military really that bad?" I was tempted to laugh at him. I wanted to giggle out 'Yes, the military was that bad', but for some reason I couldn't find the words to say it. There were a couple things I actually did like about the military, believe it or not. The military had its moments of laughs and smiles.

"The military takes me away from you and considering everything that's going down in the military…"

"No one talks to me about the war which is brewing. Everyone acts like I'm ignorant to it."

The war was not an easy thing to discuss, especially to a boy of 14. I looked down at Al and saw the disappointment in his features. "Al, you have to understand-"

"They want to protect me. I'm always being protected."

He was being protected because we all saw him as a child. He was a child. I went to make a comment, but Al suddenly stopped and turned towards me. "Don't say it Ed, I know what you want to tell me. I am a child, a kid. I'm constantly reminded that I am too young, it's getting annoying."

"Al…"

Al shook his head. "Things are different now and I am doing my best to accept that fact, I'm just trying to say I hate it when you can know everything that's go on, but everyone tries to hide things from me. Things used to be equal between us; I just wish they still were."

Everything my brother was asking for was everything he deserved. I frowned as I realized life had to be so unfair to Al. I had known from the first day we had been reunited that life couldn't have been easy for Al, but hearing him state it made the realization of things more apparent.

I placed a hand on his shoulder. "After the Rizenpool attacks, and after I was sent to the military, Xing began to-" It would take me almost an hour to explain everything in full detail to him about the war.

I was willing to give Al everything he deserved, and so much more.

* * *

It was around dinner time when Al and I returned. The house was fairly silent when we first entered. 

I looked in the kitchen, there was no one. I looked in the living room, nope, none either. I took an educated guess to where they all were and I found one of them

Izumi sat in a chair by Wrath's bed. She was silent as she gazed at her son. I leaned against the door frame as I watched her.

Izumi and I in the past two days had done nothing but argue. Our opinions on Wrath were defiantly on two different levels. There had been too many disagreements between us. Wrath was her son and I was his enemy. Nope, didn't seem like there was any good in the situation.

I sighed and was about to turn and leave, but Izumi's voice stopped me

"He still hasn't woken up."

My voice was quiet as I responded. "He's had a rough day."

I could see the dark circles under her eyes as she offered me a quick glance. Suddenly Izumi seemed much older. "But, he is alive. Edward, he's alive."

I walked into the room and up to the bed. Wrath laid there sound asleep. He looked so human all of the sudden. He had been washed; his hair wasn't fully dry yet. His lips were parted as he slept soundly.

"Does he still have a fever?"

Izumi nodded. "It's gone down, but he still has one."

"I still have to question him, you can't stop me."

Izumi wanted to protect Wrath, she had every right to. But, no matter what, I had to talk to Wrath about that Sanctuary. And, by any means necessary, I planned to get my answers.

"Edward, this is not easy for me." I could hear it in her voice. She spoke to me as a friend, not as her once disciple. She wanted me to see her view on things. I wanted to understand, desperately I did. But…

My fist tightened. "You really screwed me this morning. You are too soft with your feelings towards him." I had wanted to say that all day. I wasn't really angry with Izumi, just annoyed.

Izumi's eyes never left her child. Her lips turned downward before she spoke. "Edward, he's my son. I've lost him so many times. I just don-"

Where the words came from, I did not know. The only thing I knew was as I spoke I saw the fake image of my mother in my head. The creature I had once created. "He is not your son!"

I instantly realized I did not mean what I said. Honestly, I did think that somewhere in the creature that laid on the bed Izumi's child was still alive within. I mean, I wouldn't have brought the boy all the way from Ishbal if I didn't.

Silence fell across the room. I felt a chill in the air. I took in a few deep breaths trying to think of something else to say. Was I to apologize? Was I to sympathize?

"Izumi, I'm sorr-"

"He died that day, so long ago. But every time I look at this child's face I convince myself otherwise. When he called out to me this morning, I couldn't help it. He called me Mommy…"

I wanted to tell Izumi that he had called my own mother Mommy, but I didn't have the heart to say it.

"…Edward, he was once my child. I don't know how to be strong, I don't know how to let go." Her hand clasped her sons. Her fingers entwining with his. "No matter what, I don't know how to stop loving him. Even if he is a homunculus."

My throat suddenly closed. In my mind I saw that image of the homunculus of my mother. I had been able to block the motherly emotions I felt for her. I had convinced myself that she wasn't real; she was a monster I had created. I had refused to love her like Izumi did with Wrath. With that realization, it suddenly made me feel totally heartless.

Was I wrong or right in the fact that I killed my homunculus mother?

It was a question I refused to answer.

Izumi loved her son so much. She loved him so fucking much I was actually jealous. To her it simply didn't matter if Wrath was dead or alive. She had so much faith in him deep down inside. She still loved him.

Izumi licked her lips before she spoke. "I will leave the premises when you question him. You brought him back to me; I must give you my trust."

I didn't find any words to say. I just left. My feet fell heavily towards the ground as I headed towards my room and shut the door. I quickly threw off my cloths and fell to the bed in a careless heap. I threw the blankets over my head and shut my eyes tight.

I just wanted to sleep.

* * *

I thought I heard something distantly in the house, but I was too tired to really care. It was in the middle of the night. The room was black minus the dim light that seeped in from the small open window. The summer air blew and caused the drapes to flutter lightly. 

I blinked a few times in confusion as I heard some more noise.

I grabbed the pillow and threw it over my head. Come on, I wanted my sleep!

The noise remained for awhile, but disintegrated as I fell back into a dreamful state. It could have been five minutes to an hour when I was suddenly jerked awake.

A hand over my mouth muffled my started yelp. Two sea blue eyes peered into my own.

"Ed, wake up."

I grabbed Winry's hand and removed it. "What the hell Winry!"

Winry placed a finger to her lips. "I need you to come with me."

Winry's voice was calm, actually all of her movements seemed extremely relaxed, but her eyes betrayed her. I saw something in her eyes that desperately pleaded to me. A denial, a panic, a fear.

I pushed myself out of the bed. The cold night air felt nice against my bare chest. My blue cotton boxers were the only thing I wore. Winry wore a white tank top with yellow flannel pants. Our bare feet pattered along the wooden panel floor. She led me out of my room and down the hallway.

For a moment worry consumed me as we approached Wrath's room. But, much to my surprise, we walked right past it. I glanced in the open door and found Izumi asleep in the same chair I had last left her in. Her head was on the bed, her hand still entwined with Wrath's.

A light was on in the living room. The noise I had heard previously still buzzed throughout the midnight air. In the living room, the noise was at its loudest.

My words were whispered loudly. "Winry, what time is it? Why the hell are you listening to the radio at this hour?"

We stopped in front of the radio. "I couldn't sleep; I usually wake up and just listen to music while I read."

I grumbled under my breath. "Then why did you wake me up?"

Winry said she listened to music, but as I listened to the radio I became aware that what was on was not music, but the news. I rubbed my eyes a few times and yawned. My brain was still in tried mode, but the more I concentrated the more aware I became to what the newscaster was saying.

"-they entered along the border of Dracmha. It has not been confirmed if relations are between the Dracmha and the Xing people. Xing Alchemists and creatures beyond comprehension swept through various cities, leaving nothing but a path of destruction.- "

My eyes flew open as I took in a sharp intake of breath. This was a joke, it had to be. Maybe I was still asleep? Yea, that was it. I was asleep. Right.

"-The death toll has not been confirmed yet, but ladies and gentlemen we are looking into hundreds, possible thousands. Amestris soldiers have been able to stop this sudden raid and pushed the regiment back, but, it leaves us all in wonderment of if this can happen again. It's been confirmed that a total of seven towns have been totally demolished, three more suffering grave damages. Rumor has it that the raid was held only by five Alchemists. Two animal-like creatures are also said to have participated, according to witnesses. I have the names of the towns which are totally destroyed. Katcurt, Hanville, Sorando, Euswell-"

Euswell had been the place that I did my very first mission for the military. I was to investigate the Euswell Mines. It was where I first met a girl named Lyla. A girl who later would lose her body to Dante. It was a place that now lay in total ruins.

I shut my brain off from the radio as I took a large step back away from it. It was like the radio suddenly had a big sign saying 'Death' over it. It felt like a sin to even be near it.

Hundreds, maybe even thousands of innocent people died that night.

I didn't want to believe it.

Winry grabbed my metal shoulder. "How could they do this!" Her voice wasn't quiet anymore, I could hear nothing but misery.

I wasn't totally thinking right myself. I wasn't sure how to react. I mean, really, a lot of people had just died. I was sound asleep while people were being slaughtered. What was worse was they were slaughtered by five Alchemists.

…it was disgusting.

"Ed, they easily entered into Amestris. Where was the military during all of this! Where were they?"

I know Winry didn't really mean to, but her tone held accusation. I was in the military and where was I? Why hadn't I been there to help? It made my stomach turn.

"Winry I…"

I couldn't think of anything to say. I was an Alchemist, I was a military official. I could have stopped that raid. Even if I couldn't, I could have at least done something.

So many people were now dead and much more were dying in the Great Desert.

The war was suddenly hitting home. Reality of everything was truly sinking in.

Her voice was almost heartbreaking to hear. "We won't win this, will we?"

I gave an 'ouf' sound as Winry wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my metal shoulder. She didn't seem like she was crying, but I had a feeling she wanted to. I wasn't really a person who liked to hug, but considering it was Winry, I could always make an exception. Winry was my best friend next to my brother. My arms wrapped around Winry's form.

I wanted to comfort her somehow. I wanted to say something warm, something reassuring. But if I did it would all be lies. I never wanted to lie to her. I didn't want to hide anything from her. I was willing to be honest, even if honesty sucked ass. "I don't know."

I knew for a fact that we wouldn't win if the military wouldn't allow Alchemists to use alchemy. We needed alchemy in the war. I didn't care if that meant I would go to the front. It was obvious Xing wasn't playing nice anymore and my home land was the toy Xing was playing with. My family were potential victims at the hands of Amestris's enemy.

My future suddenly seemed perfectly clear. For awhile now I had been dancing between Enzo's case and now the mystery of Wrath. I had been avoiding the most important thing that was going on. I had been using everything as an excuse from the truth.

As I stood in the room holding Winry I decided something.

It was time I entered this war. It was time I did something. It was time to use fire with fire. All I had to do was get the Parliament to agree with me.

I was going to fight, even to the bitter end.

* * *

**Han-chan Omake time!**

I looked at her expecting her to say something, but she didn't. The room suddenly felt uncomfortable. I sat up in a sitting position before I spoke. "Did you want something?"

"An explanation might work."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Well, if you first gave me a question, then maybe I could offer you an explanation."

I could see a bunch of emotions swirl in Winry's eyes. Disappointment, disbelief, sadness. The most predominate though was rage. Winry's wrath was never a good thing. "What happened to you?"

Figures. I ran my hand through my bangs as I sat up. My human hand ran over the bandages that covered my shoulder. "Just stuff."

Her slap didn't really hurt much. Trust me; I have been hit a lot harder. Her small hand didn't really faze me. But, the emotion that was in the slap sure as hell lashed out at my ego. I looked up at Winry slightly startled.

"Edward, when are you going to get it through your thick scull that you have people who worry about you? Why didn't you tell us that you were so hurt!"

My voice remained calm, no use in raising it. "I'm alive aren't I? If I called and told you every time I got hurt, then I would just end up worrying you guys to death."

What I said didn't seem to fit right with Winry. "How often does this happen?"

I couldn't help it, I smirked. "Do you really want to know?"

Winry, started by my tone of voice, nodded slowly. "I want to know."

"Well, you see Roy and I have been going at it for some time now and recently he has gotten on this S&M kick and so he is always whipping me and biting me and occasionally he likes to use a little flame, even if it is just for the candles... See the circle burns? That's where he ground…"

Ed looked over and started laughing, Winry's nose was bleeding heavily and she was passed out.

With a chuckle Ed muttered "She DID say she wanted to know how I got these…"

**Omake 2:**

Han: Yawn wake up because family is too loud in the morning at 7 in the friggin morning Idiots it's only 7 and its summer….

Han gets up and goes all of 10 feet to where her laptop is and checks email and the status of her d/ls

Han: Wahhhh! All of Tsubasa Chronicle is donee! W00t! Proceeds to watch all of the TC she dled

Han: I have 30 more minutes till mom gets home… she'll prolly slave me…

Ooh, email from Gomp… NOOOOOOOOOo NOT A CHAPTERRR! I AM STILL 123 PAGES BEHIND! NOOOOOOOOOO. Oh well…..

Re: Chapter 20

To: Gomp

Yea, I will have it to you by 5… Yea…

6pm after being put in "time out" for 3 hours and being dragged everywhere under the sun all day

Han: Noooo the dead lineeeee

Han rushes to finish the editing and gets it in to Gomp's mail box with a plea of forgiveness by 7:15pm. 2:15 minutes late…..

Han summarily passes out and dies from lack of reader appreciation

Moral of the story readers: All delays are my fault. Period.

* * *

**Authors note:**

Whoa, took me awhile with this one! I admit this is not my favorite chapter, but I had to write it for plotline sakes! My next chapter has been started and I'm praying I can get it finished before I leave to college. This weekend I'm going on a trip, and then the following weekend I'll be back at college, and the following weekend after that I'll be in New York! Argh, life is obviously being busy! College this year is going to be rough considering my classes I'll be taking, but no worries, I will finish this fic if my life depends on it! And, surprisingly, we are actually nearing the end. You might be like 'wtf, no way', but sadly, yes way. As I'm working on the next chapter I keep thinking 'I cant believe how soon this fic will be over, only few more chapters to go!'. Now, I'm talking like 5-10 chaps left, not like 1 or 2.

I must thank Egypt for her criticizing, and Kwala also for her help. And as always, must thank the wonderful Han-chan for her editing.

* * *

**Questions you may have…**

**1. Ok, so Wrath is a Homunculus, why can he get sick?**

Ed gives a very good theory to why Wrath might be sick. Considering Wrath losing Red Water, there is potential. But, I wont fully give my answer to this away till a few chapters from now >3

**2. So like, does Winry…you know… with Ed?**

Does Winry like Ed? Hmm, well, that is a mighty good question to ask! The many possibilities.

**3. Wait! Now Ed wants to join the war effort? Man this guy is bipolar!**

Actually, the very last scene was written with the memory of 9/11 (I wont get into this too deeply since I know this is a sore subject for some). Talking to many people after the tragic event of that day, I remember many saying they wanted to fight the war against terrorism. So, I do think this outcome of Edwards emotional standpoint is a very possible one. Death in large amounts, I believe, affects almost everyone. How we react is all different, but sometimes I think we react in a way we least expect.

**4. Gomp, is Ed actually going to head out to the Great Desert?**

Oh my friends, what a good question! Now that is something we will actually have to wait and see.

* * *

**Han-Chan-** You ROCK! 

**DaisyAnimeluvr-** I'm so happy you like the fic! I always like new comers! Thank you for the compliments and thank you for the review!

**Aprilnikulangot**- I'm glad you liked the fic! I have worked very hard on this baby. I hope you were able to finish it and really enjoy. Thank you for the compliments and the review!

**Infinitesimi-** I am happy you like the direction I am taking Wrath in. I had recently read another fic that dealt with Wrath being 'normal'. When I read it I got so bored. For awhile I had planned to make Wrath a lil'…odd, but after reading that fic it helped fire up my muse. I am really happy you like the way I captured Ed. I know he's not exactly the way portrayed in the series, but I am trying to make him as human as possible so you feel comfortable with the character. Also, like I constantly remind, Ed is older now and more mature. I would hope he wouldn't be exactly the same way he was in the series 8P. Well, thank you for the lovely comments and the review!

**Katratzi-** Izumi is one of my favorite characters also! Actually, when I first saw the series I had a fight with myself if I liked Izumi or Armstrong more. I was never a big fan with Ed until I began writing this fic and was forced to pay more attention to him when watching the series. Izumi kicks ass! Thanks for the review!

**Angry-kitty-** Ahh! You changed your name! But, I like the new one. Angry-kitty is kewl! I know this chapter isn't my best one, but soon the chapters will be getting real fun and exciting as everything begins to come together. I cant wait XD! Thanks for the review!

**Kuro Roze-** You know what's funny, I thought Wrath was a girl too! Wrath has a very feminine look (so does Envy). Well, Held is back on the road! I know this chapter took awhile to get out, but here it is! The next one I'm hoping to get out in a week. It's already half way done. Well, thanks for the review!

**Lelann-** Thank you for the comment on the interactions between Ed and Izumi. I did have a hard time writing them, but I'm glad you were pleased. They did get Wrath underway, just hopefully he will be good later on. We will see. Thanks for the review!

**Gozilla-** Yup, nice and long XD I'm sorry this chapter was delayed, next one should be a lot sooner! Thanks for the review!

**Kwala-**Yup, Winry has her connections in the military. It's Ed's fault for introducing her to half these people XD! Al is a genius, you cant take that away from him. Al will have his time in the spot light, its coming soon. Ed and Winry being a couple, foreshadowing? Well, we know how I never give spoilers! You want a hot or cold thing for you…well, you're in the middle XD! You got some guesses, and some off ones. It's all a wait and seeee. Yes, you are an awesome person by the way! I enjoy our emails. Thanks for the review!

**DogEarFetish-** Wrath totally rocks! You are going to enjoy him. There are a few secrets about the kid which will rock your socks off! And yes, Wrath does look like Envy. Thanks for the review!

**Anon-**Yes, Held is back. Thanks for your compliments on Izumi, I love writing her. And the whole nutsy Wrath thing is meant to be puzzling. There is a reason to Wraths craziness, its not just randomness. Well, thank you for the review!


	21. Unspoken Angel

So like, zomg, I don't own FMA. I really don't know how this happened. I mean, like, shouldn't I own it or something?

THE CONTEST! By Han-Chan!

If you can find the one (ok, I admit, mistakes in this chapter and all chapters tends to be rampant, but I have a feeling that you can find it if you try, I believe in you!) mistake in this chapter, you need to quote the line and point out the mistake, I will write you a drabble/short-fic with whatever paring you so desire at any rating you so desire, and if it stays below R it will be next chappie's omake! If not it will be on LiveJournal under the penname Hangebokhan.

And if that does not appeal to you I can make you a wall, banner, or an icon, just provide the base images.

Oh, and to contact me to tell me you won, comment in my LJ.

That leads me to my second thing: you will find tidbits, hints, bonus omake, and other **Held **goodies over at my LJ so I would scoot over there if I were you…

* * *

**Held**

By The Gomp

OMG GOMP! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED NOW!

No more woes. Let's review!

As we all know: Edward-back to his world-war starting in Amestris- Rizenpool is attacked- Ed uses illegal alchemy-arrested and brought to central-must work for the military for free for a year to repay money that was being given to Al for compensation for his brothers 'death'-meets lovely Enzo and Klose - Enzo dies big mystery with Enzo's death- Ed meets with Enzo's parents and finds that Enzo had not talked to them for like a year- Winry and Al make a surprise visit- Ed discovers Enzo was actually a chimera- Ed waves Winry and Al off, tells them to go and stay with Izumi- Ed goes in search of red water at the 5th lab (relates it to Enzo) -is attacked by a chimera, but finds no red water -Ed gets stitches on his shoulder- Winry and Al and Granny go to Izumi's-a big rally in front of central/almost massacre-Ed almost shoots Roy (of course doesn't) for ordering shooting of innocent people-Parliament thanks Ed for stopping the potential massacre and gets his probation taken off- Ed and Roy fight out their frustration, come to terms with one another- Roy sends Ed to Ishbal to talk to Ross- Ross tells Ed about strange building- Ross also introduces Ed to Mei-chan- Mei-chan tells Ed to stop Ling- Ross also reunites Ed with good ol' Wrath-Ed tells Ross to destroy 'strange building' that she had seen in the desert -Ed returns Wrath to Izumi.

Ok, that was all old stuff. The last two chapters in better detail:

Edward had noticed that Wrath was acting rather strange…even more then usual. Ed and Izumi had decided to remove the Red Water that was still in Wraths system (thinking Wraths craziness could be an effect from the Red Water). When they go to remove the water Izumi chickens out and Wrath ends up knocking Ed out (biting him and placing Red Water in his bloodstream). Al completes the transmutation with Wrath and also saves Ed (takes Red Water out of his system). Brotherly love occurs…blah blah.

**Finally!** Winry wakes Ed up in the middle of the night. Xing had crossed the border and entered Amestris and totally destroyed 7 towns and damaged 3 others (alchemists and strange looking creatures were the ones who attacked). Amestris soldiers stopped the attack, even though it was already to late. The death toll has potential to be in the thousands. Ed makes the final decision that it is time he enters the war. He plans to fight, even to the bitter end. All he has to do is get the Parliament to agree.

Now, let's get this plot moving again!

* * *

They took a rough count of the bodies. 

Sometimes when death of great amount occurs, people don't know how to react. I saw a thousand men die once, the Philosopher Stone had killed them. Somehow, this was different. This was not a thousand soldiers, this was thousands of civilians. I was just like everyone else, I didn't know how to react.

My red coat fit perfectly over my form, white gloves slid easily over my hands, my braid was tied tightly and hung behind me. The silver suit case felt light in my grasp.

I forced Winry to go back to bed. I had told her we would tell the others in the morning about what had happened, I had lied to her. I thought I wasn't going to lie anymore…

The house was dark as I left my room and headed down the hallway. Winry and Granny's door was shut, I found no reason to bother them. My steps were quiet as I walked into Wrath's room and placed the small case that held the tranquilizers on the bed stand. I just prayed if Wrath needed the tranquilizers someone would inject him. I knew I was leaving Wrath without getting my answers, but I would be back. I would come back soon, I promised myself.

I left Izumi and Wrath asleep in their own worlds and walked out of the bedroom and down the hall until my feet came to a sudden halt and I stared at the closed wooden door in front of me. My metal hand reached slowly for the iron knob, I grasped it and gently turned.

The two windows in the room were wide open, wind made the drapes dance. The ghastly glow of the moon illuminated the boy who laid on the bed. My heart went into my throat.

As I stared at Al, something deep inside me yelled to not leave. It told me to stay with him, to never let my brother go. But I ignored that voice, I had to go.

For the first time ever, duty called.

My movements were slow as I walked up to the bed and just stared at the angelic face of my sibling. His brown hair hung over his closed eyes and his mouth parted ever so slightly. My gloved human fingers ran gently over his cheek. I could feel the warmth of my brother seep into my glove. I knelt down and kissed him on the forehead, As I pulled away I noticed something wet roll down the side of Al's face. It took me a moment to realize it was my own tear.

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. Why was this so hard? It had never been as hard as this before…

My words were so quiet I could barely hear them myself. "I will do everything I can to come back. I can't lose you Al, not after everything we have been through." I closed my eyes. "I want to fix everything, once and for all." I wanted to live a normal life damnit! Was that so much to ask for? I wanted to give my brother and I the chance to be happy. But I knew with this war, that ideal would never exist.

Sometimes, if you want something done, you just have to do it yourself.

I left.

* * *

"I smell coffee." 

His pen fell from his fingers. Funny, he didn't even hear the door open. His bloodshot eyes turned to me almost hauntingly; I swallowed hard as I shut the door. "Your secretary… I hope you know she's missing." If only I could express to you of how much a personal relief it was to see that she wasn't at her desk.

Our eyes connected. He did not say a word as some time slowly passed. I was beginning to feel rather uncomfortable.

I coughed as I glided across the floor, once I reached his desk I stopped. "Have you taken a shower?"

As if the world suddenly shifted and reality set in, Rcy blinked at me. I smirked, he grunted.

"Chairman Hakuro assigned her to do filing."

It took me a moment to realize he was talking about Klose. I nodded and then looked Roy up and down… and boy, only if I could tell you how bad Roy was looking. Not 'just bad', I mean real bad. Expressed better in the context of 'utter shit' bad.

Roy bent over and picked up his fallen pen. As he placed the pen on his desk, he began to speak. "I had expected you back sooner."

"I came back as soon as I could."

"And…"

"And?" Maybe if I played dumb Roy would let things go.

"I want a report." Naa, life was never that simple.

I gave him a sincere smile. "What Ross needed to talk to me about was nothing urgent, I will have a report to you as soon as possible." Yup, I was such a good lair.

The room fell silent. I stood still as Roy's eyes did their scanning over me. His lip twitched and his face fell into confusion. The single word that fell from his mouth was filled with disbelief. "What? "

I had no plans what so ever to tell Roy about Wrath. Nope, none. So I forced my face to be stern, forced my eyes to look serious, and I straightened my stance as straight as a pin. "I returned as quickly as possible Roy, things here are more important. The situation with Ross has been settled, but is still rather complex to explain. I think it would be better for me to simply write a report."

Again silence filled the room. Roy's face went blank.

Then laughter consumed the office. Roy grabbed his sides as he bent over laughing so hard I actually thought I saw a tear fall. "That is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard leave your mouth! You look so hilarious when you're serious!"

I rolled my eyes as I pulled up the wooden chair and sat down. "I'm happy I humor you."

"You're refreshing to say the least." Roy picked up his paper cup filled with coffee and took a deep gulp of it. His face suddenly turned serious… talk about being bipolar. "I'm too tired to deal with you."

"You always know how to make me feel welcome."

"You always know how to make things difficult."

I sighed. "Look, I promise the situation with Ross can wait. Heck, really there isn't anything to worry your pretty head over. Roy trust me, there are more important things that you should be focused on." I only blinked once as I patiently waited for Roy to fall for the bait.

"Fine."

My mouth almost fell open… holy bloody hell, he did fall for it. Roy could be so easy at times.

Wanting to avoid anymore questioning, I pulled my chair closer to Roy's desk and quickly grabbed the papers Roy had been working on prior to my arrival.

I flipped through them. "They have you doing bitch work?" He was doing food supply checks.

"It needs to be done."

"They usually have rookies do this stuff. You're a general, you think they would have you doing something more important."

Roy cracked a smile. "Oh yes, I'm doing that stuff too." Roy pointed to a pile of papers piled up high on the floor. I gave a low whistle.

"You haven't slept, have you?"

His response was a small shrug and him running a hand through his greasy hair.

Without warning Roy opened his desk, pulled out a packet of bounded papers, and threw it at me. "You have been gone for much too long." Even though I was only gone for a few days.

I looked at the bundle of joy that Roy had so kindly handed me, 'Top Secret' was stamped on the front with red ink. I opened the packet and didn't even need to finish the first sentence.

"They are already saying we will lose."

Roy's voice held a flat tone. "What did you expect?"

"Them not to be so damn blunt." My metal fingers dented the papers.

Was I surprised? Absolutely not. But, I had a feeling this was something I didn't want to read. The paper had numbers. And the numbers were fucking ridiculous; they were the numbers of the dead.

"How could they wipe out almost quarter of our army in only a few days? Why the hell haven't we taken down more of their military?" The numbers were simply way too uneven and extremely preposterous. I mean, we were Amestris! Ha, yea, nationalism was going to do me good here.

"Edward, you are not stupid. You know why." I did know why… and it all tangled into the sole purpose of my return: alchemy.

I tossed the papers back onto Roy's desk. I didn't need to read anymore because everything printed on those pages was going to be predictable. Reading the packet would simply be a waste of life.

Roy picked up the packet and placed it into a drawer.

I began to rub my temples and allowed a long, heavy sigh to escape. Well, if I had Roy alone then I might as well make use of it. "Rizenpool, last night, this stupid war… Roy I-"

"I had Klose place some work in your room. It is work that needs to be done promptly." Roy's voice was too calm for my own liking.

I wanted to continue with what I was just cut off from saying… I wanted to say something that was heavily on my mind, but I simply stopped when I watched Roy pick up his pen and began to sign his name on one of the papers.

My tongue and my heart felt heavy as I stood in one smooth motion.

He knew why I had returned.

And I, for the first time, realized I was totally and truly alone.

* * *

The spray was warm. Like a good boy I washed my body with soap, and considering my feminine qualities, used honey scented shampoo and conditioner for my hair. 

"Right now, if you went to the Great Desert to fight, you would not be killing innocent people. But let's say we did win this war, which I can tell you is most unlikely, but let's say we did. I don't think you understand that by the end of your war days one innocent dead child will mean nothing. You will be looking at a much grander scale; the death of many innocent people will be on your hands if we moved into Xing's territory. Your sins will be impossible to make up for. Edward! Your humanity will be nothing."

The water dripped down my face. I closed my eyes as I breathed in the musky air. My fingers ran lightly over my stitches, trailing down my scared form.

"I would have never followed Chairman Neil's orders if he hadn't threatened to send us all to Ishbal. Edward, he sounded so sincere, I couldn't allow any of you to go to war."

My hand suddenly grabbed the knob of the shower and gave a quick twist. The water stopped.

"Shit… Roy..."

I pulled away the curtain and reached for two towels, one for my hair and the other for my body. I stepped out of the tub and then left the bathroom.

I stared around my bedroom area. Of course, like always, Roy wasn't joking when he said he had work for me to do. Piles littered the area.

I unwrapped the towel from around my waste and grabbed my boxers off the bed and quickly threw them on. My black pants came next.

"You have never been in war, you don't understand."

My hair fell down to my waist as I allowed the strands free.

The towel fell from my loose fingers. "He's right, I really don't understand." I took in a deep breath. "But damnit Roy, if something isn't done… I think I will feel worse."

I was alone in this. Roy wouldn't help, I couldn't ask him. There was no one else really to ask.

On the train ride back to Central, on the train that I was leaving my family with, I had set a goal.

On the bed sat 12 envelopes, all addressed to separate men.

11 would be sent through urgent mail, 1 would be delivered personally.

I frowned.

* * *

His office was the same as before. It was way too fancy for my own taste. I was lucky to get a meeting in, the previous one had been cancelled. 

He looked tired. Maybe not as tired as Roy, but dark circles still showed under his eyes. His pasty skin had an oily shine to it.

Hakuro stared at me with his piercing eyes, his annoyance apparent. I was sized up. "Can I help you?"

I shut the door behind myself. I wasn't really nervous, but I was pretty scared. I was scared that I was doing something totally stupid…

"Yes Sir. I do need your help."

Hakuro's lips upturned ever so slightly. I was never one to go to others for 'help'. I had a feeling that I just expanded his ego.

"I see. Please, take a seat. I don't have much time to spare, so let's get things on there way."

The chair in front of Hakuro's desk was much more comfortable then Roy's. It was a finely designed cushioned chair with gold lions embroidered on the sides. My butt sank happily into it.

Hakuro folded his hands in front of himself. His tongue ran over his straight teeth before he spoke. "So Mr. Elric, what can I do for you?"

"Well…" Hakuro was the only one I was seeing face to face about this. I had to admit, it was a little weird, but I knew it was necessary. "I want you to enlist me in one of the units going to the Great Desert. I want to fight." I bit my bottom lip when I finished, feeling my heart pound heavily.

Man, either I was a smart guy or a big idiot. I couldn't decide.

"Oh?" Hakuro's eyebrows had shot up. I could tell he was surprised. "And what does your commanding officer have to say about this?"

I turned my face away from him. "I have not approached him about this, sir."

Hakuro suddenly stood. His hands went behind his back as he walked around his desk. "Very interesting. I am curious though, what do you plan to do in this war?"

"What do you mean, sir?"

Hakuro used one of his hands to tap the side of his cheek. His smirk was rather unsettling. "Don't think I am a fool, you're an alchemist. Other than your alchemist abilities, you are worthless."

My eyes narrowed. "Then why the hell am I being forced to serve in the military if I'm so worthless?"

I suppose my sudden burst of anger entertained Hakuro. His eyes lit up and his smile became playful. "Your spirit will never die, nor cease to entertain me."

I held back from groaning. The man was annoying me now. "So will you enlist me?"

"I want a justifiable reason."

I grounded my teeth together. "You're joking right? I think it's obvious you need some good soldiers in the desert."

"You are only good with alchemy."

I jumped out of my seat. "Then just let me use alchemy!"

Being rather informal with a high ranking official, especially when you were asking something of them, was not something one was supposed to do. But, I was desperate to get my point across.

"I can fight! If you allow alchemists in this war we will win. Why won't you see that?" I was tempted to grab the man by the collar of his shirt and force him to see what it was I wanted him to see.

Hakuro defiantly did not look entertained anymore. I could almost predict what he was thinking: 'you are still a child, still irresponsible, still naïve. Still stupid'.

"I am not like the others, I never used my alchemy to do ba-"

Hakuro turned sharply, his voice cut me off. "I don't want to hear it Major."

"I once saved you!"

A dry laugh fell from his lips. "And I saved you. I got you off for using alchemy, alchemy is illegal."

My fists were in tight balls at my sides. "Why aren't you getting it? Why don't you care!"

The devil darkened Hakuro's face. I could tell that I had pushed all the wrong buttons and was…slightly… regretting it. "Why don't I get it? Do I have to explain myself to an adolescent like you? Alchemists are the dirtiest kind, you play with lives! You make me sick! And what do you mean I don't care? Oh Edward, I care. I care so deeply you're too blind to see."

I tried to think of something smart. I mean, the man called alchemists 'dirty'. I needed to defend my fellow scholars. But the sad thing was, was that I couldn't. It was obvious that he was right, even if he was making a generalization.

A frown graced my lips. My words were quiet. "You're right, maybe I am being too blind to see."

His smirk was subtle. "Yes."

I narrowed my eyes. "But, I can't just sit here and do nothing! I have family…you have family! That is what I want you to get, the preservation of life is sometimes more important then stupid laws. I won't be inhuman with my use of alch-"

"Enough!"

"emy. I will use alchemy for protecting, not slaughtering. You have to let me go!"

A growl sound came from the back of Hakuro's throat. "How dare you be disrespectful in my office!"

"This office was provided by the people that I am trying to protect! The people you are sentencing to their deaths!"

The slap caused me to taste blood. I could tell he had years of working out to thank for that. I could feel the stream of blood dribble down from the corner of my mouth.

"Get out of my office."

"I promised myself I wouldn't leave till I got what I wanted."

His lip twisted upward with a faint look of disgust. "Then I suppose I will have to force you to leave."

I didn't want to be carried away by soldiers, so I ran to the desk and placed my hand over the phone before Hakuro could reach it.

"What do I have to do for you to allow me to go?"

Hakuro's hand faltered its reach. "You can't do anything."

I leaned forward so we were almost nose to nose. "There is something you want, I see it in your eyes." How he had faulted for the phone, there was something.

Hakuro leaned back slightly away from me. His mouth remained firm as his eyes looked to the corner of the room. I followed his eyes… it only lead to an old medieval painting.

"Negotiation?"

My lips were dry. "I see…"

* * *

My face slammed into the cold water of the sink. In a moment of frustration I screamed as loud as I could into the freezing water, the water's response was to froth with giant bubbles. 

This was not fucking fair! I felt so disgusted, almost dirty.

I threw my head back out of the water and droplets of the water hit my bathroom tile walls. My face, hair, and upper shirt were soaking wet.

"I have a fucking day to decide, that bastard!" Politics… oh god, fucking politics!

I yanked a towel off the rack. I began to dry my face, but ended up screaming in the towel instead.

"Oh Edward, I care. I care so deeply you're too blind to see."

He only cared about his damn self!

I stomped out of the bathroom and just threw myself to my bed. I chose to ignore all the paperwork piled up around me, if I closed my eyes hard enough maybe this hell hole would just go away. Yea, when did that ever work?

"I need to just go for a walk."

Yea, yea, a walk actually sounded rather appealing. Get away from the base, question my self over and over why I returned.

I sat up quickly. I clapped my hands and placed them over the dampness of my shirt, in a matter of moments mist surrounded me as my shirt instantly became dry. I pushed myself off the bed and almost ran out of the room.

* * *

Everyone remaining on base were so busy that not one person lifted their head as I walked by them. I almost felt guilty that I was ignoring the work I had been given. The key word there was almost. 

I shoved my hands deep in my pockets as I headed towards the gardening grounds. I had to admit, even though the base was in a state of confusion the gardener was doing a damn good job at doing his work. The faint scent of pollen lingered in the air. My dark mood didn't mix well with the glorious scenery.

I was almost in denial of what Hakuro had asked of me. I honestly thought Hakuro wasn't one of those dirty politicians, I thought he was the good one. Wasn't there supposed to be a good one? And for him to call alchemists dirty…

Ha, he was as bad as us. Hell, just fuck the bastard.

But still… good or bad, he had left me with a choice. The more time I wasted considering my options, the more deaths there would be in the Great Desert.

Could I really even stop the war? Were my abilities with alchemy good enough to take out Xing's side? If I accepted what Hakuro had offered to give me for assistance, I would surely win. Right? Or maybe, I was thinking too highly of myself.

"God damn it Edward, just shut up!" I placed my hands over my face.

There was a moment of utter silence. Then…

"Talking to yourself is not always healthy."

I blinked a few times. Umm, did I hear right?

"I was getting worried about you."

My hands slipped away from my face as I turned slowly and looked behind me. Klose smiled warmly at me.

Well, err… crap?

Lesson one, never let your guard down.

Hell, bloody hell!

Klose looked at me confused. "Are you ok?"

Warm soft lips.

I felt the blush that consumed my face. My words were slightly choked. "Oh hey, I didn't know you were-wait, aren't you supposed to be helping Chairman Hakuro?" Yup, my favorite man at the moment. Right.

Klose covered her mouth with the back of her hand while she giggled softly. "Oh, I'm still on duty." It was then I noticed the manila folder in her hands.

I gave her a small smile, even though behind that smile I was cursing the world to the devils den. To be quite frank, things still felt rather weird with Klose. I mean, we really hadn't seen each other since that night…

"Where have you been? I have been curious."

"I uhhh." I took a deep breath. "Duty, you know."

Klose lifted one of her eloquent eyebrows. "No, I don't know."

Didn't I go for a walk to clear my head? "Klose, why are you here?"

Her hands landed on her hips. "Edward, what is going on? Is this about…" Go Klose! Just make things even weirder.

Silence fell between us, my eyes landed on a nice pink tulip. I honestly wasn't in the mood for this. I suddenly shoved my hands in my pockets and turned on my heels. I just wanted to walk and continue thinking about how much I hated Haku-

"Ed, I'm sorry. I was coming from the library and spotted you walking so decided to follow. I've just been worried about you…"

I eyed Klose's hand as it suddenly grabbed and gripped my upper arm. I sighed. "Klose, I've just had a really bad…well, life. This week is defiantly no exception. And today… well… let's just say I'm not the best person to have a conversation with at the moment."

"Oh… I understand." Her hand left my arm.

I felt like I was being an ass. Hurt shone on Klose's face, my eyes landed to my feet. "Can we just talk later?"

"Sure!" The sudden lift in her voice was actually surprising. "Well, I'll leave if you answer one thing for me."

I eyed her suspiciously. Hmm, answering one question I suppose couldn't hurt. "Sure, what?"

"Really, where have you been?"

I sucked in a deep breath. I did not, what so ever, want to talk about the Great Desert and Ishbal. It was better just not to bring that stuff up. So, I maneuvered around the subject. "Ehh, I did some business for Roy and then made a quick visit with my family. They're now an hour from here in Dublis, if you have ever heard of it. Don't tell Roy though." I winked. "You know how he would feel about a family trip during the state our country's in."

Klose gave a considerate nod. "Understandable, if your brother is that close, I would imagine you would want to see him." She smirked. "I had this fear that you had run away from me or something."

I wanted to laugh. I was so tempted to say that running away from her actually sounded like a good idea.

Klose combed her fingers through her hair. She drew her eyebrows together as if she was in thought, then she suddenly smiled. "Well, you answered my question. I should be off." She gave a soft sigh. "See each other later?" She sounded so unsure of herself.

"Yeah, we will see each other later." I assured her. I felt kind of bad that she had sounded so doubtful. I mean, hell we were on the same base. Of course we would be forced to see each other.

Her smile seemed genuine as she turned; her heels gave a soft click as she walked away.

I frowned at her retreating form. Klose… what was I going to do about her?

In the letter she had said she wanted to start over. Could we really start over? I had thought we could…

I suddenly groaned. "I don't have time for this.

I spotted a stone bench farther into the garden. The bench sat right by a rather impressive water fountain that had an angel statue in the middle of it.

I sat down on the cold stone bench. I looked up and saw that the eyes of the angel seemed to gaze intently into mine. The angel did not smile, but did not frown either. I stared into the angels piercing eyes for a few moments.

God damn Hakuro…

"So what do I do?" I suddenly covered my face with my hands. "…what do I do?"

* * *

My head smacked against the wall, I saw stars for a moment. "Is this why you sent for me?" 

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

I didn't even try to push him away; I didn't even try to respond.

He pulled back and then slammed me against the wall again. "What the hell are you thinking Edward?"

I stared him straight in the eye. "I seem to be the only one thinking."

Roy loosened his grip on me. "You're not thinking at all! You are sentencing yourself to your death!"

My words were quiet. "I don't want to hear it." I really didn't, Roy was not going to understand me. Why even try?

Hell, I didn't even understand myself at that moment.

"Why won't you listen to me? Even if it was just for this one time…" His hands fell away. His eyes fell somewhere else. "You never listen when it's most important." Roy's gloomy expression remained as he turned his back towards me.

I gave a deep sigh. I wanted to tell Roy I did listen, but instead what fell from my mouth was something different. "I don't want to think that we have already lost this war." I sat down on the floor, my back against the wall.

Roy's tired voice rang into my ears. "You will die out there."

"But I am still willing to try to stop this, I have faced death before." I knew Roy would never listen to me, he would never hear my words when I felt they were important. Weren't we both just two stubborn men?

His tone held no humor. "I wouldn't use your past experiences with death as an example."

I cracked a smile. Yea, my past experiences with death weren't really the best.

Roy had heard rumors from the various other Chairmen about me trying to go to the Great Desert to fight. Word goes around fast in the military, surprise surprise. All the other Chairmen were waiting to see what Hakuro had to say on my proposal. If Hakuro agreed, they would agree and allow me to go. If not…

The thought of Hakuro sent a nasty shiver down my spine.

"Edward, why do you want to go so badly?"

I closed my eyes. "This is my choice."

Roy suddenly turned and grabbed the neck of my shirt. He pulled me up from my sitting position. "You're a damn fool!" His eyes mirrored the haunting memories that he withheld. "You're a god damn fucking fool!"

"Yea, maybe I am." Maybe I really was.

Roy's head fell onto my human shoulder. I didn't move. The friendly contact was awkward. Roy never struck me as the touchy feel type.

"A damn fool." His words were muffled by my shirt.

I suddenly felt a wet substance soak into my shirt, my mouth fell open. Roy…

I blinked.

Roy Mustang… the Flame Alchemist… was…was crying?

What the…?

My eyes were wide.

What the hell was happening to us?

I closed my eyes tight. I took a deep shuddering breath.

This war was tearing us apart.

* * *

My glasses sat on the edge of my nose as I stared at the paperwork. 

Just clear my mind, do the work. Right, this would help everything.

My pencil began to write down my chicken scratch.

'Report 251 BO,

Sector G4, area 96. Soldiers Ralph Canya, Peter Jackyo, and Lieutenant Denver Swagger were bombardeed….'

My writing stopped.

Roy had cried on me. As a friend Roy had been so upset with me that he had cried. I had pushed him away, ran out of his office. I didn't want to see Roy cry.

Shit, I had miss spelled 'bombarded'. I wrote two 'e's instead of one.

I erased and began to write again.

'…bombarded by…'

"The Scholars Stone, Heavens Will, Grand Elixir, Red Toura, Prototype number 5. Like its name, it doesn't seem to have a set limit of uses"

"Brigadier General Grand…"

I closed my eyes, damn memories. I opened my eyes again and forced my pencil to continue writing.

'…Xing soldiers. Id tags, recovered. All three buried in sector 1529 G.'

My pencil stopped once more.

When I was in Hakuro's office earlier that day, he lead me towards a medieval painting that sat on his wall. He had pulled the painting off the wall, a vault sat behind it. He had opened the vault and pulled out a small case.

Brigadier General Grand had once said: _"It is, at most, a scientifically created product. No one knows when it may reach its limit and no longer be of use. Though it is unstable and falls short of the real stone, it _

immensely increased our power during the Civil War conflict, and it granted us ultimate abilities."

My eyes turned towards the golden watch that sat on my desk. For a moment, I could hear each click of a second… watched as a single minute passed by.

JUST DO THE DAMN WORK EDWARD! I was tempted to smack myself. The lead of my pencil marked the white sheet of paper.

'Memos have been sent to families. Paper work has been fully completed.'

Marco had once said: _"That was no war. That was a massacre."_

My pencil continued to scrawl words.

'No need for further investigation on deaths.

'Major E-' The tip of my pencil broke.

I had looked at Marco. "Then what happened?"

His words held so much sadness, but his honesty remained strong. "Nothing…"

"Nothing?"

"_The battlefields the Nationally Certified Alchemists were sent to were all finished within one night."_

The pencil easily snapped in half. I threw the broken piece of crap across the room.

"I'm never going to finish this paperwork!" I looked over at the giant pile of papers I had completed. Then I looked back at the enormous pile of paperwork that I hadn't even gotten to yet. "Shit, it looks like I haven't even made a dent!"

The chair scratched loudly against the floor as I stood up. My hands gripped the edge of the desk so tight that my human fingers turned an odd color of a pinkish purple.

Hakuro, as he had opened the case that he had pulled from the vault, had proposed a deal.

If I told Hakuro how to properly use the fake Philosopher Stone which Tim Marco originally had some help in the production with, Hakuro would allow me to go to the Great Desert. He would even allow me to use alchemy as well as allow me to take one of the remaining fake Philosopher Stones to magnify my alchemy. What a nice deal, eh?

The man was on top of the political system. He had all the damn power in the country. What the hell did he want the damn stones for?

He was just power hungry like all the rest of the damn political world!

"How stupid does Hakuro think I am?"

* * *

"I'm here to see Chairman Hakuro." 

"I'm sorry sir, he's busy at the moment."

I looked at his secretary with utter annoyance. "I need to see him now!"

The pudgy woman narrowed her eyes at me. "He is busy, sir." Even though the woman was as ugly as sin, she did have quite the presence.

A click from Hakuro's door suddenly alerted me someone was leaving from his office. What luck! But, as the door opened fully, I found it did not reveal the man I sought, instead a pretty young woman.

I pushed past Klose and practically ran into Hakuro's office. "We need to talk!"

I saw the corner of Hakuro's mouth twitch. He gave a look of surprise, even though I doubt he was really surprised at all. "Do you know how rude it is to barge into my office?"

"It's about the damn deal."

Hakuro's eyebrows lifted as a smile became plastered on his face. "You have come to a decision so quickly?"

"You fucking bastard! What the hell were you thinking? You really thought I would go along with it, didn't you?" Even though I did consider it, shamefully, I realized there was no way in HELL I could tell him how to use the stones.

There was a moment of silence when nothing was said and Hakuro's warming smile slowly disappeared. I stood there hoping he would say something. The room felt freezing all of the sudden.

The one who spoke first was neither Hakuro nor myself. It was someone who I had forgotten about.

"Edward?"

I turned sharply to see Klose still hanging around the doorway. My words were cold. "Leave us."

I didn't even bother to see if she left. I turned back to Hakuro. "You're just like every other damn politician. The stone has brought nothing but suffering in this world. If you won't allow me to go to war, I'll find my own way!"

Klose suddenly pushed past me, it caused me to go silent from confusion. She stood in front of me, narrowing her eyes at Hakuro.

Wait a second…what the hell?

Hakuro narrowed his eyes back at Klose. His voice came out threatening. "Young lady…"

They stood there for a few moments, just staring at each other. I suddenly felt extremely out of place. Was Klose…standing up for me or something?

Hakuro's face turned red. "How dare you interrupt us!"

Without saying a word Klose suddenly turned and gave me the glare that should have sent me to my grave. She grabbed my metal shoulder roughly and began to pull me towards the door, her words low and annoyed. "How dare you speak to a Chairman with such disrespect." Even though she was looking at me and speaking to me, her thoughts seemed to be somewhere else. She didn't seem totally there.

…things suddenly didn't seem right anymore.

* * *

Han-Chan Omake!

So, all you readers, it is Thanksgiving in the USA at the moment, so in honor of the holiday I am giving out one gift. Details after the omake though!

"I smell coffee."

His pen fell from his fingers. Funny, he didn't even hear the door open.

His bloodshot eyes turned to me almost hauntingly. I swallowed hard as I shut the door. "Your secretary… I hope you know she's missing." If only I could express to you of how much a personal relief it was to see that she wasn't at her desk, for we had business to get done.

Our eyes were connected. He did not say a word as a minute passed, I was beginning to feel rather uncomfortable.

I coughed as I glided across the floor. Once I reached his desk I stopped. "Have you taken a shower?"

As if the world suddenly shifted and reality set in, Roy blinked at me. I smirked, he grunted.

"What do you men by that?" He looked slightly confused and on guard.

It took me a moment to realize he had not caught on. How dense is he? I smirked and then looked Roy up and down… and boy, only if I could tell you how bad Roy was looking. Not, just bad, I mean real bad. Expressed better in the context of 'utter shit' bad.

Roy bent over and picked up his fallen pen. As he placed the metal utensil on his desk, he began to speak, understanding tinting his silky voice.

"I had expected you back sooner."

"I came back as soon as I could."

"And…"

"And?" Maybe if I played it dumb Roy would let things go on further.

"I want a report." Yes! Hook, line, and sinker!

"It is urgent, I can give you the report immediately."

The room fell silent. I stood still as Roy's eyes did there scanning, twitching, and his face fell to confusion. The word that came from his mouth was filled with disbelief. "What? "

I had no plans what-so-ever to tell Roy about Wrath. Nope, none. So I forced my face to be stern, forced my eyes to look serious, even though I was highly embarrassed I even thought about that with Wrath, and straightened my stance as straight as a pin. "I returned as quickly as possible Roy, things here are more important. The situation in Ishbal has been settled, but is still rather complex to explain. I think it would be better for me to report in person, especially on my physical condition after that went down. My stamina has probably been reduced because of the train ride. Then again, you would be the best one to test out that theory when you give me a physical"

Again silence filled the room. Roy's face went blank.

Then laughter consumed the office. Roy grabbed his sides as he bent over laughing so hard I actually thought I saw a tear fall. "That is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard leave your lips! You look so hilarious when you're serious!"

I rolled my eyes as I pulled up the wooden chair and sat down. "I'm happy I humor you."

"You're refreshing to say the least." Roy picked up his paper cup filled with coffee and took a deep gulp of it. His face turned suddenly serious… talk about being bipolar. "I'm too tired to deal with you."

"Fine, go have fun with your girl tonight you two-timer."

Roy looked taken aback. "Two-timer? What?"

Ed, leaning over the desk, replied, "You heard me General Shit, you are a lousy two-timer."

Roy got a mischievous look in his eyes and smiled, grabbing Ed's shirt-front he stood up and gave Ed a quick peck on the lips. "What ever gave you the idea we were going out in the first place?"

End

I have one more omake, but I am too lazy/tired to finish it today! Also, if the omake is kinda sub-par, sorry!

**

* * *

Authors Notes: **

You have every right to be upset with me guys. I can't defend myself for not updating like I used to in ways I think would be understandable. I have had a very hard semester (workload, writers block, emotionally, etc.). I apologize to all who have been waiting patiently for this chapter. I hope you know how grateful I am towards all your support and encouragement to finishing this fic. I do read all your comments and almost always you guys stick a smile on my face (even if it's a negative review, I know you guys still took some time out to review : 3). I am not done with this semester, but I am pretty sure my spring semester will be a lot easier on me. I will finish this guys, don't worry about that. It just might take some time. Thank you all once again!

**Han-chan:** I couldn't ask for a better beta. You are amazingly supportive. Always remember I am your number 1 fan when it comes to your omakes!

* * *

Questions you might have…

1. Roy…cried…?

War does some funny shit to people. Don't forget he hasn't slept and is living off coffee.

2. Hakuro…has the fake stones? What!

They government made the fake stones cough Marco cough. Is it that surprising that there might still be some around, eh?

3. Klose…wtf?

Find out next time. Just so you guys know, I doubt it is what you're thinking ; )

* * *

**Reviewers:**

From what I have been told has supposedly stopped allowing people to comment on reviewers in their chapters. I must respect this rule. I believe now you can reply to people through a link system in the comment section (must be signed review). I will have to figure this thing out. Once I do I will respond to all of you like always. Much love guys!


	22. Immortal Awake

So I sold Ed off to a shrimp factory. He still refused to give me the rights to FMA.

…omg! ED!

BIG NEWS!

LOOK! HELD GOT FANART!

http/www. deviantart. com/ view /27356878/

(Please fill in the spaces when entering the link. I have to space it out or will not allow me to post the link.)

Anyways! Thank you so much Wallflower-chan!

* * *

**Held**

By The Gomp

Without saying a word Klose suddenly turned and gave me the glare that should have sent me to my grave. She grabbed my metal shoulder roughly and began to pull me towards the door, her words were low and annoyed. "How dare you speak to a Chairman with such disrespect." Even though she was looking at me and speaking to me, her thoughts seemed to be somewhere else. She didn't seem completely there.

We left Hakuro's office and passed his annoyed secretary who gave me a grumpy look. It wasn't till we reached the halls that Klose finally freed me from her death grip. I didn't even wait for her to speak, I jumped right to it.

"What the fuck was that about?"

Klose didn't even look at me. She simply turned her eyes to the side, looking like she was deep in thought.

I grabbed her wrist with my metal hand to get her attention. "Klose, I'm a fucking Major, do you know how bad that looked?" Yea sure, when did I ever care about my image? But still, what the hell had gotten into her? Was she trying to protect me or something? I didn't require her damn protection.

Her voice came out soft, but carried an edge. "You were being rude."

I was tempted to punch her… so, freakin' tempted.

"You were being rude butting into our conversation! I can't believe you did that!" I turned away from her tempted to punch a damn wall instead of her face. It wasn't like I could go back into Hakuro's office and apologize for Klose's rude behavior and then go back to bitching him out… it didn't work that way. Man, and I had some really good stuff to say to Hakuro too.

"Edward." Klose's voice sounded… bold.

I turned. "What?"

Her eyes narrowed, but then softened. "I apologize for my rude behavior, I suppose I got worried that the Chairman might do something bad to you."

I was tempted to roll my eyes… so she was playing the heroine. "We had some business to discuss. Argh, I don't feel like talking to you!" I felt annoyed. Really annoyed.

When I saw her turn away though, with a frown gracing her lips, I started to feel bad. Crap.

"Klose, argh, I-"

"I suppose I know what you mean."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Even though Klose's face was hidden by her hair, I saw her eyes wander towards the door that led to Hakuro's office. Her voice was soft and sincere. "I'm really sorry Ed for being rude. Really, I am."

I still wanted to be mad at her, but I could feel my anger slowly seeping out of me. "It's… alright, I guess."

Klose shook her head slightly. "I'll make up for it."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Oh?" I folded my arms over my chest in a mocking manner. "It better be damn good." Klose giggled softly. "Trust me, it will, but for now I got to go back to work."

I could feel the old friendship ties with Klose slowly returning. It was comforting in a way.

"Ok."

Klose nodded while she turned on her heels and headed down the hallway. I watched her back as she slowly began to disappear.

My eyes narrowed as they turned towards Hakuro's office.

"Damn it."

* * *

"Hold still." 

I was positive my eyes were as wide as saucers.

"I said hold still young man."

Between gritted teeth I spoke. "Easier said then done."

The doctor gave an annoyed 'huff' sound then went back to his tedious work.

Ack, eww, so… gross… waa! My human and auto-mail fingers dug into the sides of the bed.

The doctor sat back in his chair while pushing up his glasses. His face scrunched up as he looked at me with displeasure. "Major, I'm sure it must feel odd for you, but you are acting like this is painful. Are you hurting?"

I took in a deep breath and allowed it out slowly. I gave a crooked grin that had no heart to it. "Really, I'm fine… you're right, it just feels weird."

The doctor nodded while his tweezers headed back to do their work. I closed my eyes as the tweezers grabbed a random stitch and pulled. Gahhhh! So gross!

"Most of your stitches have fallen out; you were supposed to have these removed a few days ago. You missed your original appointment." The fat man looked at me accusingly.

I rolled some saliva in my mouth before I spoke. My voice carried a hint of innocence. "I was busy."

The doctor smirked ever so slightly. "Well Major, I believe that is quite obvious."

I was tempted to ask what he meant, but felt it was better to keep my mouth shut. The doctor gave a tug and I felt one of the stitches slip out from my skin.

Silence filled the room for the next hour or so as the doctor did his work. Starting at the top of my shoulder, he worked his way down and repeated the process three times for each individual cut. By the time he had finished I should have been tempted to pass out or cry from joy, instead I sat there silently looking at myself in the mirror that sat across the room.

I didn't look at the doctor, but I could hear it in his voice that he was frowning. "It didn't heal as well as I had hoped."

My metal fingers ran down the long bumpy scars. The skin was still tender and slightly pink. These weren't the type of scars I was used to, I was used to the ones that simply marred the color of the skin, but did not stick out. The three claw marks were puffed out, jagged at certain areas. In all honesty, they were simply hideous in sight.

I sucked in a deep breath, feeling a faint stinging in the corner of my eyes. I mean, it would be dumb for me to get upset over something so stupid. Ha, ha, my body just getting even uglier to look at—stupid to care right?

My bangs hid my eyes as a pulled my shirt on. The doctor stood in the corner of the room holding his clipboard. "Come back in a week so we can give you a check up. If you experience any problems, such as bleeding, or infection, return immediately."

I nodded my head as I ran my human fingers through my hair, the movement irritated my shoulder slightly, but I ignored it. I forced a smile on my face. "Thanks for everything, sir."

The doctor nodded, I turned away from him and walked out of the door. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remove the damn frown that graced my lips.

It was so stupid to get upset… so why was I?

* * *

My dorm door shut behind me. It was getting late, and the day was weighing heavily on me. 

I took off my shirt quickly, my eyes darting towards the mirror, but I quickly turned away before I could really get a good look at myself. I grabbed a white tee-shirt off the floor and threw it on and then my pants fell into a nice heap on the floor, only the boxers remained.

The sun had set; the dark sky was all that remained. All I wanted to do was to jump in my bed and just go to bed… but a thought crossed my mind.

I eyed my door with caution and eyed the whole room with caution.

"Would he really?"

Hakuro… hmm, I knew his dirty secret about having the fake stones. Would he… punish me for knowing that?

I rolled my eyes at my paranoia. I suppose it was better to be safe than sorry.

I sighed and clapped my hands together, feeling the electricity of alchemy come alive. The glow lightened the whole room to a bluish color.

I had a feeling I was going to spend a good amount of time safeguarding my room. Damnit all.

* * *

It was early… really damn early, when I heard the knocking. I forced my eyes open, my precious eyes that did not want to budge. 

The knocking happened again, and again…

I finally rolled over and pushed myself up, my shoulder felt less sore which I suppose was a good sign. My feet hit the cold floor of the bedroom and padded their way across the wooden panel. I went to open the door, but groaned when I realized I had used alchemy to lock it. I clapped my hands and heard a satisfied click.

Havoc stood on the other side of the door. I was tempted to groan at him and tell him to go the hell away, but he rarely visited and usually only did when things were important.

"Did I wake you?" He rolled his unlit cigarette around in his mouth.

This time I did groan. "Isn't it fucking obvious?"

His smirk was subtle, but he pushed my bedroom door open the rest of the way so he could enter himself. He gave a low whistle as he looked at my mess. "I suppose I can forgive you for this mess since I know you have been busy."

I rolled my eyes as I went looking for my pants and asked him with sarcasm: "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" I found my pants pushed halfway under my dresser and pulled them on.

Havoc chewed a little on the butt of his cigarette, his smirk mischievous. "Well, I think I already got my answer so really you can go back to bed."

I stopped my movements while I glared at Havoc. "What the hell?"

"You're alone in here, right? No one hiding under the blankets of your bed, eh?"

What an odd question, but I nodded uneasily. "It's just me. Why?"

"Just looking for a lovely lady friend of yours." He winked.

My eyebrows shot up. "Do you mean Klose?"

"If you are referring to Roy's secretary, why yes. It's nothing serious. Roy had asked her to come in a little early today, but she hasn't showed up yet. Most likely she forgot, I was told to see if she was in your room." He gave another wink.

I grabbed my father's watch and looked at the time; Klose wasn't due in on her regular shift for another two hours. "I have no clue where she could be." I had to admit, I was a little perturbed that someone would suggest she would be in my room. Damn rumors.

Havoc shrugged while he pulled out his cigarette from his mouth. "Like I said, nothing serious. Most likely she was just having fun last night and forgot to set her alarm." His toothy grin helped finish his sentence.

I was tempted to roll my eyes. "Did you ever think of knocking on her door?"

"I already did. I also checked inside, the room seems normal, just missing the occupant in question."

"I see." I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. "I'll tell her that you guys are looking for her if I see her, but I doubt I will see her any time soon."

Havoc nodded while he headed for the door. "You look like you're tired, get some more sleep."

I yawned while I pointed to the door. "Yea, I will. Now get the hell out of my room."

The door shut and I jumped back to my bed desperately needing more sleep.

* * *

The awkward silence pierced the room. Roy and I couldn't even look each other in the eye, I knew for a fact his ego had been slightly damaged the other day and well… I had run like a sissy so that didn't help mine much either. 

I was happy to notice that Roy had gone home the past night and showered. He smelled and looked much cleaner, shaved too. But, even though he looked cleaner, he still had a subtle wild look in his lone eye. In a sense I had a feeling this war was griping Roy at his seams and slowly tearing him apart. I wanted to say something to him, lend him some advice… but what did I know? Roy knew more then me, he had already lived through a war. I knew in the Ishbal war Roy did not have the baggage like he had now. He now had a family and home to return to. Was that what was internally killing him? The thought of losing everything that was important to him? I wanted to reach out, talk to him about things.

Instead I stood there, my mouth moved a few times, but no words left my lips. I internally sighed as I collected myself, reminded myself of the reason I was there.

For a few more minutes an uncomfortable silence hung heavily in the air. Roy was sitting at his desk, twirling a pen between his fingers. He continued doing that until suddenly the pen fell and clanked loudly on the wooden floor, almost like a whistle blown telling us to begin.

We both spoke at once.

"I called you in bec-"

"So is Ms. Kurt-"

Silence filled the room again, but this time our eyes connected. It took a few seconds, but Roy finally finished what he was saying. "I called you in because my secretary has done a disappearing act. Do you know where she is?"

I shrugged my shoulders and walked more into his office as Roy followed my every movement like a hawk. "I had seen her yesterday, she was helping Chairman Hakuro like you had said. Other then that, no I don't know where she is."

A frown formed on Roy's lips. "She has never been the type to simply skip work. This is odd."

I took a bold move and sat down in the seat in front of Roy's desk and studied his features for moment, getting nothing but a blank stare. "Well, I agree. I don't think see her to be the 'ditching work' type, but it has been hectic around headquarters. Maybe she needed a break and decided to play hooky." I had to admit, I really didn't believe in my own explanation. Klose really wasn't irresponsible like that, but at the same time I really couldn't imagine her in any danger unless… Hakuro…

"Is something on your mind Edward?"

I blinked a few times as I looked at Roy's face, genuine curiosity now marking his features. I was slow in my speaking, trying to find the right words. If I was alone in the office with Roy, might as well ask the questions that needed to be asked. "How dangerous do you think Hakuro is?"

Roy seemed taken back by my question. I couldn't really blame him though, switching from Klose to Hakuro… but Roy knew the Chairmen better than most. Besides, he wanted to know what was on my mind.

"Chairman Hakuro? Are you in some type of trouble?"

I was tempted to laugh. Ha, I really had no clue if I was in trouble or not. "Not particularly. Will you answer me…?"

Roy narrowed his lone eye at me. "I have never found him violent, maybe stupid, but never violent."

Well, I suppose that was a good sign that he wasn't violent. Klose had interrupted Hakuro and my argument the other day… could it be that Hakuro was extremely pissed off by the disruption? I mean, what if he had done something bad to her?

Maybe I was thinking way to hard… or maybe I wasn't thinking enough.

I sighed in frustration as Roy looked at me. "You are hiding something." It was a statement that had caught me off guard.

My eyes had widened. "Umm, heh, don't be silly." I scratched my head and tried to look innocent. The reality of the matter was that I was hiding A LOT from Roy, not just one thing. How did you explain that to your superior officer?

Roy looked rather annoyed as he folded his hands in his lap and looked at me sternly. "I don't have time for games. I will ask you one more time; do you know where my secretary is? Trust me Edward, if you do not answer this honestly I will find out and you will pay." The threat was very real, and very unlike Roy.

"I do not know where she is." I wasn't really lying. I had hints and ideas, but I didn't really know the truth.

Suspicion was apparent in Roy's features. He scanned me with his one eye and was critical, I sat still for a moment not sure what to think or do.

"If she does not turn up by this evening, you will be the one to search for her. Usually I would assign a search party, but seeing as to how everyone is busy…"

"What makes you think I'm not busy?" My question held an edge. Roy wasn't sounding too friendly towards me; I didn't plan to be friendly either then.

The laugh was not a cheerful one, it sounded like he was annoyed. "You have not handed in any paperwork which I had given to you since your return. Find her, we are short staffed and we can't afford to fall behind in the work."

Something was off about Roy. I mean, it was totally justified why he sounded funny and acted more aggressive then usual, but it did not comfort me. I could see the stress in him, I could see how tired he was, how miserable. For some reason I was tempted to ask Roy if joining the military was worth it now, but held back the question. Hah, not the time to ask such stupid pointless things.

I stood up and was about to turn to leave, but Roy's voice stopped me. "You are hiding something… hah, to think I thought you would have matured from your old self."

I didn't turn as I spoke, but I kept my voice light with a touch of cheer. "It's hard to change sometimes."

"Maybe so…." His voice went into a whisper. "maybe so." His voice returned to normal. "Don't forget about your report." Oh how I cringed at the word 'report'.

I walked out of the room and didn't feel like looking back.

* * *

I had eaten, showered, and changed before I finally had decided to sit down and start working on my 'Ishbal Report'. While writing the report, I quickly realized it was a more difficult task then what I had first anticipated. You would think lying would be easy… well try lying where you can't have any slip ups and think it worthy of government approval, Roy's approval. 

Grr Roy… My pencil scratched the paper as I bullshitted my way through my next sentence.

'-dead blamed on sudden attack of Xing soldiers.'

"Roy is never going to believe this crap!" I took a deep breath and allowed it to leave slowly. Roy wasn't an idiot, it was what made him a great General. It was also what made him suck.

My pencil rolled away from my fingers as I sat back in my chair, pushing my glasses up my nose. I then crossed my arms and stared at the horrible report. If Al was around he would have been able to give me creative ideas.

Well, the old Al would have at least.

…I cursed myself for thinking that.

I began looking at the room, something to distract me for a moment. My eyes landed on an envelope that sat on my nightstand, along with one of my white gloves.

It was the note Klose had given me awhile ago concerning our… relationship situation.

I felt my face go warm, but ignored it. I stood up and walked over to my bed. The flap of the envelope was still open, the letter neatly folded and slightly poking out.

Was I supposed to take Klose's disappearing act seriously? I mean… I really didn't know and I really didn't want to care.

Deep down, way inside my fragile little heart, I knew I did care though. I just wanted to ignore the subject. Damnit.

I looked at my watch, it was about mid-afternoon.

I stood up from the bed and placed the envelope back on my nightstand. I was about to turn and go back to my report, but the flopping sound of my white glove hitting the floor grabbed my attention.

I removed the glove that covered my human hand, dropping it to the floor. I ran my bare fingers over Klose's warm skin; it was so soft, so smooth. I wanted to touch her, to discover all the hidden secrets I had never known.

I closed my eyes at the memory. The reality was Klose had done nothing wrong that night; it was me who was all wrong. I wanted to avoid her, push her out of my thoughts. .

Now she was missing and what was I doing? Trying to bullshit my way out of trouble, typical.

I groaned at my own stupidity as I pulled off my glasses and found my black long-sleeved shirt.

* * *

"This is what the boss gave me." 

I jiggled the key around in the lock. "Well, the door doesn't seem to want to open."

Havoc looked at the lock, his eyebrows drawing together. "It worked this morning." He took the key out of the lock, pushed me aside, shoved it into the lock again, and gave a quick jerk of the wrist. The door gave a satisfying click. Havoc smirked, I glared.

I pushed the door open the rest of the way, flipping the light switch. Havoc came into the room behind me. "Everything is the same as this morning when I came in."

The room seemed about the same since my last visit, if you subtract the music and candles… also the half naked female.

I blushed.

"Gee Ed, do you get that flustered by just walking into a female's room?"

I gritted my teeth as I gave a threatening glare towards Havoc. He just smirked with victory. "Seems you do."

"Just leave the key with me. I will return it to General Mustang's office when I'm done."

Havoc's smirk grew to a smile as he tossed me Klose's key and began to head towards the door. "Catch you later kid."

I rolled my eyes as the door shut, just me and Klose's bedroom… great.

I did my 'investigating' work at a slow pace. I searched for any clues that might reveal where Klose could be. I checked from the window sills to the wooden floor. I checked her bed, under her bed, briefly scanned inside her drawers, and her bathroom.

I finally turned my eyes to the final un-searched piece of furniture in the room. I stared at her desk… her work area. She had things organized neatly. There was an elaborate candle that sat in the center of the desk, almost like a center piece. The candle was green and fat. It had red vines that wrapped around it and figures of mystical creatures carved into the wax. It was pretty cool looking. It sat on top of a gold holder that was rather plain.

I opened the first drawer of her desk. Pencils, unused note pads, ink, and various other un-relevant items were in there. I growled in annoyance as I threw some papers from the drawler behind me. I had a feeling Klose was going to get pissed off once she saw the mess I had created. Haha, oh well.

I pulled open the next drawler down. Books, notes, folders…

My hand reached deep inside searching for anything that might be in the back. I felt something that felt like leather, expensive leather actually.

I pulled out the object. It was a black leather notebook that was the size of my hand. I began to flip through the notebook before I suddenly realized… it was a book of numbers, aha! Finally, something that might hold some significance.

I placed on my glasses and took a look. It seemed that there was no specific order to the phone numbers. I recognized a few of the names; some names were those who were at headquarters. My name and phone extension number was the last number inscribed in the book, but my name had been slightly smudged by someone's fingers.

I was about to shut the book, but something inside me compelled me to open it back up and look at the front page again. I did so. There was only one number on that page which was written in pencil.

'Daddy'

Mr. Kurt's number… wouldn't be a bad number to call.

I took off my glasses and placed them back in my pocket. I pushed the open drawer closed and went through the last one… there was nothing of relevance. I sat up and wiped my hands against my pants. I shoved the leather book in my back pocket and was about to turn when I, on accident, hit the cool looking candle with my metal elbow. I heard a loud smack, a snap, and the roll of the candle on the floor. I turned and found that one of the red vines had snapped off the candle and the candle had rolled half way across the room. Damn.

I walked over and picked up the candle along with the broken vine piece. I sighed as I examined the damage I had created. The missing vine wasn't that obvious, but it was a shame none the less. I went to place the candle back, when something shiny suddenly caught my eye from across the room. I placed the candle gently back on its golden stand and walked over to the shiny object.

Somehow it had passed my eyes before, strange.

My fingers gently ran down the blood red ribbon which was loosely tied around the post of Klose's bed.

I scanned the room a few times and stopped when I saw something silver glittering; the flicker of the candles kept causing the silver piece to gleam. It was a necklace dangling from the post of her bed.

My mouth went dry and my fingers grabbed the golden key that hung at the end of the red ribbon. The key was actually rather fat. I lifted it up so I could look at it better in the light and saw that numbers were carved at the top of the key '71'. I lifted an eyebrow as I turned the key over. On the other side it had the initials 'F.B.C.' on it.

F.B.C.? What the hell did that stand for?

* * *

I held a piece of paper against the wall with a pencil in hand. The phone continued to ring, and ring… and ring. I sighed when I realized no one was going to pick up. I suppose the old man was out or something. 

I went to hang up the phone when the voice of a woman suddenly spoke. Her voice was quiet, more like a whisper. She spoke with an almost sultry alto, just a little too raspy for my taste. I smiled when I heard her pick up. I quickly jumped into conversation.

"Hello, my name is Edward Elric and I was curious if Mr. Kurt was there."

There was a moment of silence. I heard the woman take in a deep, raspy, breath. She spoke slowly, as if trying to choose the right words. "I'm sorry Mr. Elric, it seems you have not heard. Were you a friend of Mr. Kurt?"

I lifted an eyebrow, suddenly feeling curious yet uncomfortable at the same time. "I'm a friend of his daughters. Is he alright?" I already had a sinking suspicion what was coming.

"Mr. Kurt had recently passed away. He had a weak heart."

My eyebrows shot up. Things suddenly made sense. Klose's father died, she must have found out, leaving without a word. Losing a parent was a terrible and tragic thing, I was extremely aware. "I'm so sorry ma'm for the loss. I had no idea. Is his daughter there, Klose?"

The woman swallowed loudly. Her voice sounded almost angry. "Are you from the government?"

I was slow in speaking, not sure how to take the question. "Uhh, yes ma'm, I am."

The phone went dead.

I stared at the phone for a moment. Oh man, that lady had to have been kidding me. She did not just hang up on me. Oh no she didn't!

I slammed the phone on the receiver and lifted it up again. My metal fingers clanked as they began to dial the number again…

The soft knocking of wood right beside my head caused me to turn sharply.

Kain Fuery, thick glasses and all, looked at me uneasily. "Edward."

I turned and hung up the phone with an annoyed gesture. "Yup?"

Kain spoke quickly. "Sorry, General Mustang asked for me to retrieve you."

I rolled my eyes at Mustangs name. "What does he want?"

"He needs to talk."

Oh, how I love to talk.

* * *

"She's been missing." 

My mouth fell open. "Missing?"

"Her unit has disappeared also. She has not radioed for check in for 2 days now."

With a breath, the word "Oh" fell from my lips. How many people were going to go missing that day!

"Interesting though, it seems that things aren't matching up." Suspicion leaked into his every word. Roy was always smart… always so bloody smart.

"How do you figure?"

Roy held up a piece of paper as he read it, his eyes scanning the sheet calmly, his voice monotone. "It says here that she had last left base a couple days before her disappearance. Those days follow into the days you claimed you were together. Also, it's interesting that you never checked in at the base while in Ishbal." He placed the papers down, folded his hands. "Which leaves me to wonder: What exactly happened…or did not happen, while you were out there?"

I looked down at my hands. Ross, she was missing. The day I last saw her she had dropped off the injured and dead at base and left with the rest of her nit.

"Ross, once you get your men patched up I need you to go back to these ruins you found. Take dynamite with you guys, just blow up that sanctuary."

If she had done what I said… then did something go wrong?

Roy's voice was firm and on the borderline of threatening. "What happened?"

What could have happened to Ross? Surely enough time had past that she would have been able to blow up the sanctuary and returned to base. If not, she was still not one to miss check-ins or anything.

Could have the enemy gotten her? Could have-

"I thought I saw someone in the shadows on the balcony. Edward, they looked directly at me… their eyes seemed dead."

My eyes snapped wide open. Oh shit.

"Edward!"

I stared at Roy practically blindly. What had I done? What if-

Roy stood up and used his cane to walk around the desk. His eye was narrowed. He grabbed me by my shirt and jerked me forward. "What happened!" It wasn't even a question. It was a demand.

I blinked a few times. God damnit all! What had happened? I had the sinking suspicion something very bad had happened to Ross and I was the one who was at blame.

"Edwar-"

"I don't know."

The grip Roy had on my shirt tightened. "What?"

"I said I don't know." I looked Roy in his lone eye. "I had met with Ross right outside of base. No, I never did check in. There was no need to."

"What do you mean no need? It's standard procedure to check in." Roy let go of my shirt, allowing me to sit back. "Is this a game to you?"

Emotionally I could tell Roy was at the edge of his sanity with me. I wanted to smack him and yell at him to back off… but, I couldn't. He had every right to be suspicious. He had every right not to trust me.

…I wouldn't even trust me.

I took in a deep breath and slowly allowed it to seep away. Should I be honest? Should I lie? I closed my eyes tight.

"I don't know where First Lieutenant Ross is. We had met outside of base, discussed what was needed to be discussed and I headed back here to headquarters. What do you want Roy?"

Roy ran a hand through his hair. He leaned against his desk while he shook his head. "I see."

He knew I was lying, neither of us were that dumb to fall for my false explanation.

I just didn't know how to explain things to him.

His voice was unexpectedly soft. It sounded like he was talking to a child—I was the child. "There is something you do not want to say, I know there is." I looked up at him. He seemed relaxed and calm, I was baffled. "I knew the moment you returned something laid heavily on your shoulders." In my mind the image of Wrath flashed by. "But Edward, if you know anything about the possible location of Maria Ross, please, tell me. We both know she's a good person, she deserves our help."

I believed a great man was not a fool. Roy, he stood above many—above most. He defiantly stood above and beyond me.

I cleared my throat before I spoke. "And what about the things that don't want to be said?"

Roy placed his hand on my shoulder, giving a light squeeze. "You were always good at avoiding certain… details."

I smirked. I couldn't deny that one.

I placed my elbow on the arm of the chair and my chin into the palm of my hand. I shook my head then smiled, I knew I had Roy's full attention. "Ross had taken me to an abandon town a fair distance away from base. There was a reason she didn't want us to go into base and part of that reason dealt with something she had found in the Great Desert-"

Time passed by rather quickly. I told him every detail about Ross, the Great Desert, and the sanctuary. I even told him about Mei-chan. The only details I left out were the ones that concerned Wrath and the few days spent in Dublis.

"-the place to look would be at the sanctuary."

Silence spread for a moment. Roy was now sitting in his seat rubbing his chin with his thumb and pointer finger.

Roy spoke. "This girl, Mei-chan?" I nodded. "You said she was treated like Royalty, right?" I nodded again. "And she told you to stop a man named Ling?" I nodded once more.

Roy lifted an eyebrow at me. It was like he was looking at me as if I was stupid. "Edward, who is the Emperor of Xing?"

I blinked a few times looking at Roy confused. I felt an embarrassed blush suddenly consume my face. "Oh, heh, umm to be honest Roy—I don't really know." Now I felt like a total idiot, I was so caught up in my own life I seriously didn't know that much about the enemy in the war. I had a feeling Roy had told me the Emperor's name at least once, but I just couldn't recall what it was. Nice, now I felt like a complete moron.

Roy rubbed his nose bridge while he tried to calm himself. Yup, I felt like a complete and total idiot. "Edward…" He took a deep breath. "Considering Ross obviously did not take notice of this either, I can't justifiably yell at you. This is just rather disappointing. The Emperor of Xing is a young man named Ling."

My mind went to a sudden halt. Haha, he had to be joking, right?

"The tradition in Xing is for the Emperor to take on a wife from every clan. I had told you this before, Ling has many half brothers and sisters. Mei-chan must have been one of them. You had obviously butted heads with the Royal army." I was waiting for him to call me a stupid dip-shit. Luckily for me it never happened.

I smacked my hand over my face. I couldn't believe I never realized that! Mei-chan was bloody Royalty!

"Which means Edward, you had allowed someone very valuable to slip right between your fingers!" Great, now Roy was angry. What happened to: 'can't justifiably yell at me'?

"I didn't know!"

Roy stood from his chair while shaking his head. "You didn't know? You even said so yourself, the army was 'suspiciously well dressed'! Come-on!"

"You said that you wanted Ross' location, you have her damn location!"

Roy's eye darkened. "And to blow up the sanctuary without a proper investigation." His fingers tightened around the arm of his chair as a growl fell from the back of his throat.

Roy did something unexpected. He threw his chair to the side, it smacked hard against the wall and fell to the floor. The arm of the chair was broken off.

"You have created more trouble for me then anyone I have ever known."

My mouth fell open slightly. Those words hit me like ice. They were meant to hurt, I knew. "Roy…"

"How could you tell Ross to just blow up the sanctuary? Edward! You have no idea of what you are messing with." He walked around his desk. He didn't use his cane, his anger allowed him to walk straight. I stood from my seat and took a step back. Oh god, what was wrong with him?

"This Tao is actually an ancient religion." Roy stopped in front of me. "Get your damn coat."

"What?"

Roy walked past me. "I need to make some calls. After I am done we are going to visit a friend."

So I did as told, I went back to my bedroom and grabbed my red jacket. I just had also picked up something else that was tucked into a pocket in the silver suitcase.

* * *

The name engraved over the front gate was bold, big, and clear. It spoke large amounts about the family's large ego. 

The estate was… huge. Ok, huge wasn't even the right word. It was freakin' enormous!

Roy and I hadn't talked at all in the car ride. So, when we made it to the front of the house, I practically jumped out of the passenger side of the car just to get away from the awkwardness. A servant dressed in a penguin type suit greeted Roy and I.

"We have been waiting for your arrival."

I was about to reply, but Roy spoke first. "Thank you." He handed the servant the keys to his car. "We might be awhile…"

The servant bowed and handed the keys to another servant behind him. He gestured towards Roy and I. "Please, follow me."

I looked over at Roy, but Roy did not even glance my way. I frowned but followed the servant. The two front doors opened together, leading us to the entrance of the house. The house was simply spectacular: the ceiling of the first room must have been 3 stories high. It stretched high above, decorated with suns, moons, and angles. The chandelier was a sight in itself. Two stairways rounded the front, leading to a balcony that surrounded the second floor. In the center of the room though, stood a bulky man who sparkled like a shining star, I quivered in a fear.

"General Mustang, Major Elric!"

Both Roy and I gave a flat "Hi" before we were engulfed in the huge arms of Armstrong. Roy squeaked out a "Careful, you're still hurt", before Armstrong was willing to loosen his hold. I gasped for air as his arms loosened, trying to re-teach myself how to breath. Armstrong sure as hell didn't act like he was injured.

"It has been so long since I have gotten visitors! Please, come in, come in!"

Roy and I both followed the large man in front of us. I stared in awe as we passed paintings, antiques, and beautiful statues that did not belong in most homes. Armstrong's house was purely exquisite, I had never seen his house before and I was beginning to understand more about the justification for Armstrong's family obsession.

We walked for a good ten minutes till we reached a room that seemed to be an office. I was pretty sure it was Armstrong's personal office.

The room was large. Bookshelves lined the walls, red oak was the core for most of the furniture. The ceiling was painted a forest green, which just complimented the thick drapes which were a dark red. Little light seeped in from the heavy drapes so Armstrong turned on a couple lamps.

"Take seats the both of you." There were three couches that surrounded a small, coffee sized, round table in the middle of the room. Each of us took a couch, I scooted as far away from Roy as I could get. He still didn't seem too happy with me.

Armstrong beamed as he poured Roy and I some drinks. He handed both of us a glass before he leaned back in the couch he sat on. I sat back myself, feeling the luring comfort the couch provided. I could tell the couch was expensive just by the feel of it.

Silence remained between all of us for a few minutes. Armstrong was silent as well. His beaming eyes glanced between both Roy and I, but slowly the spark in the depths of his iris's disappeared. His eyes finally stopped at Roy. "What is bothering you?" His tone surprisingly still had some cheer, but I picked up a ting of worry.

Roy took a sip of the cold drink Armstrong had provided. He licked his lips before he finally spoke. "You once mentioned to me of a religion in Xing, an ancient one: Tao."

The changes in Armstrong's features were obvious. It was like someone had flipped a switch—like the word 'Tao' had hit something deep inside him. Any remains of his sparkly self were totally wiped away. What was left was an intelligent wise man. Also a man that seemed haunted by a memory…

"I had paid my dues with Xing long ago."

Armstrong ran a hand down his face. "That was long ago," His voice had dropped a few notes lower. "very long ago."

I wanted to ask Armstrong what bothered him so much… what exactly had happened in Xing. Armstrong was characteristically known as a beaming sunshine. That was defiantly not the type of man I was seeing now. I suppose we all had our hidden secrets. He had Ishbal and whatever happened in Xing.

Roy moved in his seat, causing the cushion of the couch to squeak slightly. His voice was crisp. "Edward has a story he would like to tell…"

I had a story? Great of Roy to inform me ahead of time that I was going to have to retell everything. I internally groaned as I took off my red jacket and pushed up the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt. My shiny mental arm reflected the light from the lamp closes to me. "First Lieutenant Ross' had asked me to meet her in Ishbal-"

I told him the story, almost word from word like Roy's. Armstrong didn't speak, but you could see his expressions constantly change—curious, questionable, thinking, serious. I wished I knew what he was thinking.

"-Now Roy thinks this Ling guy is the Emperor and Mei-chan is one of his half sisters."

Armstrong sat up in the couch. He murmured to himself, repeating a few things I had said. He finally spoke when he looked me in the eye. "You're claiming that Ross should have destroyed this 'sanctuary' by now, correct?"

I nodded as I took a sip of my drink. "I had instructed her to do so. I- I am just worried something has happened. I mean, she did say she had seen something. What if that something was still there?"

Roy cut in. "Base in Ishbal should be searching for her as we speak. Ross kept detailed coordinates of all the land she surveyed. They think they found the right coordinates of the general location the sanctuary would be located in."

Roy must have made that call as I got my jacket. I ran my fingers through my bangs. "How many soldiers did they send out?"

"Three." I would have loved to complain about that number, especially if there was something at the sanctuary that was dangerous, but we were at war. The military could only do so much.

Armstrong cleared his throat as he stood. He walked over to a certain book self in the back, behind his desk. This book shelf had gold trimming, a glass door closed over the shelf. It was more elaborate then his other shelves. He opened the door carefully. His large fingers ran across the covers of the books as he skimmed for one he was obviously in search for.

He pulled out a brown bound book which seemed like it was about to fall apart from age. It was a fair sized book, words of a different language marking the front. He blew some dust off the top of it and walked back to the couch he had been sitting in. He plopped down and opened the book, the pages were a darkish brown from age. Each page was covered in strange writing which I had never seen before; I wanted to run my fingers down the pages, run my fingers over the straight lines which made up words. I placed on my glasses.

Armstrong flipped through the book, eyes scanning the pages. It wasn't till halfway through the book that Armstrong stopped and my eyes popped open.

I dug into the back of my pocket, pulling out a folded sheet of paper. I unfolded the paper carefully, a few bits of sand fell onto the table. I flattened the paper, leaving everyone in awe.

"It's practically the same." I pointed to the paper I had and to one of the images in the corner of the page. "Both…they are almost identical."

The image Ross had drawn for me was the same as the image in the book… except it was a single image of a sun and not one in an alchemy array. The double headed dragon was missing also.

The book had five images on the page. One image, the one almost exactly like Ross', was one of a sun. Then there was one of a tree, a waterfall, a circular image like the earth, and a strange square box.

The words of Mei-chan rang through my head: _"Too hard. Wood, fire, earth, metal, water. Five equal one. It is from a dead religion, Tao."_

I pointed to each image as I spoke about it. "The sun means fire, the tree means wood, the waterfall means water, the circle shape is the earth, and I guess the square box is metal. What does this mean?" I asked that more to myself then to anyone.

Armstrong answered. "Alchemy is ancient… but, it is not originally from Amestris. It originated from Xing." I looked over at Armstrong, taking in everything he said. "Tao, it is not exactly a religion that is smiled upon."

"What do you mean?"

"Tao… the routes of alchemy stream from it. In the Xingen's eyes, alchemy is a power that disrupts the world."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Then why are they using it in this war?"

Roy answered this time. "Disruption and corruption lie almost in the same category."

I wanted to rub my head. Argh, this was too confusing for me. "But still, they have been using alchemy for centuries for healing purposes. You would think they would have banned it if alchemy was so bad."

Armstrong slid the book over to where he was, his fingers traced the images. "They did, at one point in Xing's history, alchemy for almost two centuries was banned. They removed all Alchemists from the country and forced them into the Great Desert." The sanctuary…the ancient city- in the Great Desert…made sense.

Armstrong continued, "Alchemy had been forgotten during those passing centuries. It became almost a myth. There is a well known tale that is told in Xing. It talks about an illness that swept the lands, killing almost everyone in its path. The desperate cry of the civilians reached a young traveler's ears. The traveler had a magical power that the town's people had never seen before. He healed the sick, saving those who were told could not be saved. The civilians considered his power sacred. They begged him to teach others, and so he taught a select few. They became traditional healers." He took a sip of his drink. "In your eyes, you see those healers as Alchemists. They see themselves as the blessed."

I sighed as I pulled the book back to myself. "So, some of those banned to the desert perfected their work. Some went to Amestris and if Ross has not lied about this city in the Great Desert, some stayed in the desert. Later on, you have a traveler who probably came from the desert and traveled to Xing and reintroduces Alchemy?"

Armstrong nodded.

"So then, what about this book?"

Armstrong smirked. "If you follow rumors, and if you're willing to pay a hefty price, you might just be able to find precious souvenirs." Uhuh, right.

I drew my eyebrows together. I had a feeling that meant Armstrong had paid a nice lump for this ancient text. Nice, but that still didn't answer my question.

Armstrong, the educator for the night, kept talking. "Taoism died along with the Alchemists that were forced from the country. It was once practiced by many, especially the upper class. Alchemists originally were meant to heal the sick, so households had their own personal Alchemist for whenever they were in need."

I played with a long strand of hair that hung in my face. "I still don't understand what was so bad about Alchemists that they originally had to kick them out of the country."

Armstrong smirked. His smirk actually seemed spooky, a very un-Armstrong like smirk. Heck, the whole conversation was un-Armstrong like. This was a day I was going to have mark down in the calendar. "The obsession for eternal life is what placed Xing in fear."

I played with what Armstrong said for a few moments… then immediately sat up with wide eyes. My father flashed through my eyes. "Eternal life? What do you mean?"

"Many of the upper class, especially those who had high social statues, became obsessed with immortality. They felt that Alchemy could be the answer. A race began, a rather competitive one. Once the Emperor found out about this race he banished Alchemists."

My mouth was dry, Roy had sat silently while Armstrong had told his little tale. I looked at Armstrong confused and unsure as hell. "How in the hell do you know all this?"

"Rumors, folklore, myths, -"

While Armstrong spoke Roy leaned forward and grabbed the book from in front of me. His lone eye looked at the page. He cut Armstrong off. "Edward…" Armstrong and I turned towards him. "This text is a history book. It's a history book collected from the Royal house."

Many questions sprang through my head. How did Armstrong have that type of access? Why did any of this really matter? What the hell were these guys trying to tell me!

Armstrong spoke while he looked at the book. "It's a rather detailed one. I bought it on the black market and found a translator."

I rolled my eyes, now Armstrong shopped at the black market. "Just what are you guys trying to get at here?"

Armstrong's eyes flickered between Roy and I. He cleared his voice. "The Emperor banished Alchemists because… well, supposedly one Alchemist had found the solution to eternal life. One of the Emperor's closest associates that was in search for eternal life had an alchemist try an alchemic formula, it supposedly killed him. The Alchemist assured that the man was still alive though, even though he laid 'dead' before him. The body was given a proper burial."

"So the Alchemist lied." I shrugged. Obviously the guy died and the Alchemist was trying to save his ass.

"The family returned to the grave for mourning the next day and the body was gone."

"And the Alchemist had removed the body to save his own ass."

Armstrong shook his head. "The Alchemist was killed shortly after the body had been discovered."

I shook my head. "So you're trying to tell me you think the alchemist had found the means for immortality? The man had lived and left the grave on his own?"

Both Armstrong and Roy nodded.

…yea, sure. "So you really think this Alchemist had created the Philosopher stone?"

Roy laughed. It was a rather odd situation to laugh in, or so I thought. "What the hell is so funny?"

"Edward, hasn't it occurred to you yet that there might be other ways to gain immortality?"

My eyebrows shot up. Other ways? "But you need the Philosopher's stone to avoid equivalency."

Armstrong leaned forward and pushed the old text from Roy to me. "What is there to be equivalent about in this situation?"

The image of my father flashed through my eyes. "The body…" I swallowed hard, remembering my fathers rotting flesh. "As the soul ages the body slowly begins to…rot."

Roy lifted an eyebrow. The look on his face gave me the impression that he might have known who I was referring to. I doubted though that Roy knew my fathers dirty little secret.

I turned away. "Even the Philosopher's stone can't stop that."

Armstrong spoke, his voice almost haunting. "Wood, fire, earth, metal, water… in Taoism it is believed that every matter in this world is composed of these five elements. It was felt by Alchemists and Taoists that if you were able to combine these elements properly you could provide eternal life—the existence of all matter in one—not even the soul could cause the body to rot. The only problem was no one could find a way to secure the bindings of these elements; that is why almost all Alchemists had failed at finding eternal life. Now, if this alchemist had found a way to bind these elements… it's very possible that he had succeeded."

The room fell silent. I scratched my head as I looked very skeptical at the book. I mean, it seemed rather far fetched if you asked me. Eternal life by five elements? I mean, well maybe… the human body wasn't composed by much… but still!

Something that also stumped me was the sanctuary, the alchemy arrays on the walls resembling two of the elements. So, what did that mean? Luck? Chance? Was someone really trying to…

"Lung-mei, the dragon's pulse."

"The dragon's pulse?"

"It flows through the earth, the power of the world."

…Mei-Chan had said…

Oh god…Oh my fucking god.

My heart pounded heavily as all reality, all sensibility struck home. My hands shook ever so slightly as I looked at Armstrong. "Do you still have your Alchemist watch?"

Armstrong looked at me curiously, but nodded. "It's upstairs, let me get-"

"I have mine." Roy stood up. His hands reached deep into his back pocket. He handed me the silver piece, it shined. I did not know why Roy still carried his watch around… I saw no real reason to ask him.

I placed the watch next to the double-headed dragon which Ross had drawn on the white sheet of paper. I was right by my first reaction to seeing the double-headed dragon… it did resemble the alchemist watch in some sick twisted sense. That is if you consider that on the watch it was just one dragon… it was practically identical.

I wanted to barf.

My heart raced as I looked at both men, I had a feeling both of them saw the resemblance also, even discarding Ross' artist perception.

Something to bind the elements? How about a damn dragon's pulse that was the 'power of the world'. Maybe that could just give the elements a nice freakin' helping hand.

"Well guys." I gave a nervous short laugh. "It looks like we are officially fucked."

* * *

Where's Klose? What on earth happened to Ross? What does F.B.C mean? What significance is there with the double headed dragon and the alchemy watch? Why does it look like everyone is officially fucked? 

Ha…I uhh, don't know these answers XP

…or maybe I do XD!

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**TAO and ALCHEMY HISTORY LESSON!**

Believe it or not I did not bullshit this whole thing. Yes, I did twist the history of Tao ever so slightly… haha, but not that much.

Ok:

Taoism originated as a philosophy from China and would later become a religion. Taoism still is around today, you can always read up on it. It is a very intriguing religion if I do say so myself.

You are probably wondering though what the hell do Alchemists have to do with Taoism. Ever hear the saying: Alchemy is the mother of Chemistry? Well, if you haven't heard that, then you have officially learned something new. But see, before alchemist's were really chemists, they actually dealt with herbs, drugs, and yes some chemicals. You could say they were almost like… a miracle doctors…almost. Let me explain:

Here is a phrase I stool from religioustolerance . org. This phrase comes from the belief system of Taoists: 'Five main organs and orifices of the body correspond to the five parts of the sky: water, fire, wood, metal and earth.'

In Taoism it is thought that all matter is one, and that all matter consists of Water, Fire, Wood, Metal, and Earth. Back in ancient China Taoist did actually search for eternal life. They believed that if you combined these elements you could find this eternal life.

Ok, so here come your Alchemists. Way before Alchemist in the European area were busy trying to create gold, Alchemists in China almost a half millennia before were in search for helping Taoist (or being a Taoist) and finding eternal life. They would use potions that consisted of water, fire, wood, metal, and earth thinking it was the key for immortality. Also, an 'inner alchemy' was practiced, almost like a meditation or yoga, but this is something we will not touch upon.

Alchemists were **not **kicked out of China/Xing- that is simply for my story.

The story I told of the dead man and the alchemist that claimed gave him eternal life: Haha! I kid you not… that actually is not totally made up. I did twist it around a bit though. So ok, here is the real story (or what I remember about it, it's been awhile since I had that class XD):

A man of high ranking had died, the family found the dead body and blamed the alchemist for this mans death (since it was the alchemist eternity potion that killed him). The alchemist did tell the family that the man was not dead, he was pretending dead so he would not upset the family. The alchemist begged for his life, telling the family that in one week the man would rise from his grave and would never be seen again. The family gave the alchemist one week… the week passed and the body was gone. The family wanted to know the secrets to eternal life- the alchemist would not tell them, but claimed the man was on a island in the sea. Well, word spread around China…and I shit you not! China spent like billions (well, in our currency) in search of this island. They wanted to find the secrets for eternal life. Well, of course, they never found this island. So, everyone wanted to know what happened. With time, everyone decided the man had risen to the heavens. He had eternal life in heaven now and became almost like a God. They also began to believe now that others had found eternal life and were also in the heavens along with this man.

From then on Taoism became a religion, people began to worship those in 'heaven'. They would pray that these people who had already found eternal life would bless them with the same.

Confused? Well, if you still have questions please feel free to ask.

Also, if I am mistaken in any of my history please correct me. It has been awhile since I took my religions class and my mind does seem to fade in some areas. I believe I am pretty close to being accurate though.

* * *

OMAKE!

Han-chan is now hosting the Omakes at: http/ hangebokhan. livejournal. com/

(Please fill in spaces. will not allow me to post links.)

Anyways, please check them out! Awesome as usual.

**

* * *

Authors Note: **

Sorry guys! Took me an extra day or two. I sorta got into a major fight with my best friend…tee heh. Anyways, enough of my personal life, we have an update! And, the best part is, this is a pretty big chapter. We have learned so much in this one! And better yet, the plot thickens even more. Next chapter many questions and much truth is reveled. Man, I just can't wait!

OMG! Can you believe I got fanart! Me! I was so surprised. Thank you again Wallflower-chan!

So anyways, this story is seriously almost near a end. We probably have at most 6 chapters left. I am going to be extremely sad when that time comes, but all good things must come to a end. Anyways, till then!

Thanks to my beta Han-Chan! I couldn't do this without her help and support!

* * *

Questions you may have…

1. Why was Ed so upset about his body?

I have always noticed Ed being a little sensitive about his body. I think Ed would be a little upset over having these huge claw marks going down his body. Personal opinion of course :p

2. Why is everyone being so moody all the time?

You have the pressure of the war constantly nipping at them. Haha, I personally would get a little moody too.

3. Gomp… where's Klose?

I uhh… don't know.

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OMG! MOST REVIEWED CHAPTER TO DATE! You guys kick total ass!


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